


moonstruck sun

by venenix



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Elemental Magic, Family Fluff, Fantasy AU, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Royalty AU, Slow Burn, no sad gays in this household but expect a bit of angst, star-crossed lovers, you know the sun/moon motif? that but with a celestial royalty vibes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 141,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venenix/pseuds/venenix
Summary: They call him First Eye for he was the first to gaze upon the world. His freckles were specks of gold, sunflowers watched him whenever he walked by and he was so tenderly loved.But there was only one thing Sun desired, the only thing he couldn't have: the Moon's gaze upon him and what mattered if he had to cross kingdoms and face trials just to be seen?





	1. all that was shown to me, sunlight, was somethin' foreknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really, really wanted to write something that said #aesthetic but also that gave fantasy vibes and i also wanted to see isa in a crown because he deserves it, so that's it, that's the whole thing.  
so strap in because you're in for the long ride
> 
> thanks @ nic look what you made me do
> 
> feedback is love!

Focusing had become an issue for quite a while. Concentration was a slippery thing: the more he willed himself to listen, the more he found his brain catching on other thoughts, linking threads far away from the matter at hand. The subject wasn't draining either: renovations were required, Sun had been clear about it. They had to follow suit, even when unsupervised – even though that wasn't the right word: they were _technically_ supervised. 

« – that should be devoid of any complications, isn't that correct, Windriser?»

Roxas raised his head right away, snapping awake that part of the brain that was still kind reactive. He focused his gaze on the woman, her eyes and everyone's else pointed right at him, expecting answers – like he just didn't zooned out few seconds before to stare intently at the red flowers coming down from the roof and not listening to a single word fo what they were saying. 

Roxas cleared his throat, taking a more refined position on his seat – he didn't even notice how more laid back he got, almost slumping on the chair. He smoothed down his pants, bracelets clanging against one another. « I apologize, Master Architect, I am a terrible Advisor today. Shall we talk about this matter again tomorrow? I'm afraid I won't be of much help today.»

« I see they're taking their time,» said a voice from the opposite end of the table. The woman in front of him had a veil around the face, covering her hair and mouth. Roxas felt her piercing amber eyes on him, like they were searching for answers Roxas couldn't hide away. 

He got up. When he did, everyone did the same, the sound of everyone's chairs pushed back filling the silence of the room. « Sadly, I am waiting as much as all of you, my Masters. I am sure you will be quite alright for a couple of days more,» and with that, he let the people in front of him know that the conversation was over by bowing his head, putting a hand on one eye as well. Then, one by one, went for the exit, the woman with the amber eyes the last one to leave. He closed the door behind her. 

Roxas let out a sigh, collapsing onto the chair. He felt like someone had just taken off lead weights from his back and chest and was now able to breathe properly again. He hated being the regent: too much pressure and also way too much talking – not that Roxas hated talking, but technicalities and logistics weren't exactly his favourite subject. Especially after weeks of just doing that. 

One red flower began slowly his descending curve toward him, his hand already opened to catch it. When it landed on the palm of his hand, Roxas studied it for a while, looking at the veins on its closed petals. He sighed again and he got up, exiting the room. The descent toward the beach was maybe the quietest moment he got the chance to have since that morning. He walked through the gardens and the flowery archways, flowers dancing behind him on his passage – the gardeners were obviously flexing: Roxas didn't remember the gardens being this colourful and bright; of course, the gardens have always been beautiful, but this was obviously the result of weeks spent in waiting. 

His steps got quicker the more he got closer to the ocean. The more he walked, the louder came the sound of the waves, the more prominent became the smell. He walked past the grass until it became a stone pathway, until it finally became sand, away from the enclosed limits of the palace. When his feet touched sand and his eyes finally focused on the vast blue expanse in front of him, Roxas dared to breathe out – the palace really didn't suit him. The wind was like a mother's caress through his hair. He slowly walked toward the pier nearby, raising sand behind him every step he took. 

« Oh, look who decided to join us!»

A man's voice came from the merchant ship docked at the pier. The young man was leaning lazily on the banister and it was clear he wasn't going to help his companions: either he was too tired or that that job was entirely another matter he wasn't too keen to remotely care about. He showed a grin and added, « The prince of the wind.»

« Please, don't call me that,» said Roxas, walking on the pier and reaching the side of the ship, so that he could look closely at the captain: a young man with brown hair and eyes as blue as the sea. Around them, sailors were unloading boxes and barrels: Roxas instatly knew that almost 60% of those boxes contained cottons and silk and cloth from some far away land. 

« Well, I'm not wrong,» said the captain, jumping on the banister. He rested his elbows on his knees, looking down at Roxas, « aren't you here to give us your blessing for a safe return, with winds by our side?»

« A blessing? You're being cocky, why should I do that?» Roxas asked, putting a hand on his hip, « I might _say_ I will give you my blessing, but what if I change my mind then? I may ask the wind to cease while you're in the middle of the ocean.»

The young man laughed, a high and ringing sound that could be heard from everyone on the pier. He laughed like Roxas had just told him the funniest joke. « I'm sorry, but you're well known for your kindness of heart, Windriser. You might despise _me_, but I know you wouldn't harm my crew.»

It was Roxas' turn to laugh: he couldn't even remember the last time he had sent forward a raging wind against someone in particular. « I'm just playing,» and while saying this, he showed the captain the red flower in his hand, petals now all bent and broken because of his tight grip around it. He walked to the edge of the pier, the captain's eyes following his every movement, like a curious child who just can't wait to watch a trick he had already seen hundreds of times over. 

Roxas brought the petals to his mouth, feeling softness against his lips. He whispered a couple of words – not that he needed to speak in order for the wind to respond, but Roxas liked having a connection of some sorts. He liked speaking out loud even when there was no need to: after all, words are known to be lost in the wind. 

Once it was done, Roxas blew on the flowers: its petals danced in front of him for a while, a graceful upward spiral that went further and further away from the pier, travelling on fast and benevolent currents. Roxas took a step back, returning his gaze to the captain: he was wide eyed and had a big smile on his lips. That was something Roxas wouldn't get tired to see, no matter how many centuries could pass by. 

« Take it as a thank-you gift,» started to say Roxas, walking back toward the gangplank of the ship, staying right at the bottom: he wouldn't get anyclose without his captain's permissions, « for all the wonderful things you've brought. Plus, the gold I am sure the Master of Trades already gave you. The wind will be in your favour for your journey back to your lands. So bring your crew back home safely.»

The captain jumped down from the banister, walking toward the entrance of the ship. The dagger strapped at his leg was the first thing Roxas' eyes jumped at: it certainly didn't look like a ceremonial weapon like the ones they owned at the castle. 

« Still cooped up in the palace?» The young man asked, crossing his arms. In doing that, Roxas' attention went to the colourful detail of what looked like a big tattoo, right on the forearm. He wondered briefly how much skin it took, what it meant, if it hurt. « They still sleepin'?»

It seemed like that was the only question on everybody's lips these days – and actually how could Roxas blame them? The Sun had just left a tendril of his warmth and that was miles away from the real thing. People had started to wonder if they had to live with that feeble warmth but, after all, didn't they say the same thing the last time it happened, and the time before that, and the time before that, all the way back for millennia? Roxas just had to endure for a couple days more. Hopefully. Then he would be free to return to his original schedule. 

« They're taking their time. They were pretty tired,» Roxas said, moving away so that the crew could board the ship once again, men and women with big arms that could have lifted Roxas like he was weighing nothing more than a stick. « I'm sure next time you're here, they will be happy to invite you to the castle.»

« Nah, I don't fare well in those places,» _The feeling is mutual, captain,_ thought ruefully the Windriser, « but if you offer me and my crew food I might reconsider your offer?»

Roxas laughed, taking a few steps back, anklets clinking together every step he took. « You will receive all the food you like, captain Sora.»

The captain showed him a smile that was all teeth and gums. Then he went down the plank and offered his arm to Roxas. He took it, wrapping his hand around the crook of his elbow. « We will see each other again. Farewell, Windriser.»

Roxas covered one eye with his hand and bowed his head. Above him, he heard Sora laughing. 

« Why do you cover your eye?»

Roxas lowered his hand. _Might as well sate this curiousity of his._ « It's a greeting we use only during the Long Sleep. The Sun is not with us. We can't see without them. When they will return and open their eyes, we will return to see as well. So that's why we cover one eye: it's a way to say that we can't see properly just yet. We're waiting for the light to come.»

« Then shouldn't you keep your eyes closed all the time since you're waiting for them?»

« Yes, and you might understand right away why it's not feasible when there's a kingdom to run,» replied Roxas, rolling his eyes. Captain Sora was as charming as he was naive. « But kids usually wear a bandage over one eye during this time, it's something quite fun to see. And if you really want to see people with their eyes constantly closed, some elders wear a cloth. It's a really solemn moment for them. For us it's equally important, but we have a kingdom to run nonetheless, there's no time to be ceremonials. We stick to quick greetings and go back to work.»

« Oh. Yes. I didn't think that through,» and let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his head. He climbed quickly back up his ship, like he seemed in a hurry to set sail after that. When they were ready, Sora leant on the banister one last time, eyes scanning the Windriser. He looked like he was searching for answers, too. The captain shot him a quick smile and then returned to the helm, shouting orders to the crew. 

When he left the pier, Roxas waved his arm. Sora did the same, his ship getting smaller and smaller until it became indistinguishable on the horizon. Roxas walked back to the shore, feet finally touching the sand again. His eyes went directly to the part of the beach where sand met stones, a pathway that went into the woods. 

There was no one around. 

Roxas walked fast toward the pathway and dove in before anyone could see him. Usually, the New Road had to be taken just once during the ceremony that lead toward the ocean, but Roxas coudln't care less in that moment: he didn't want to go all the way back to the castle, taking the underground passage and walk some more just to be able to see their sleeping beauty for five minutes. 

The road was completely black and ashy, result of the last Walk. Even after years since the last time, it was still the same; the road would never go back to normal. He kept on walking, wind catching on his clothes and bracelets. Roxas had the feeling the wind was chastising him for walking that road when the time wasn't right. 

When he finally reached the place, the wind died down. There was almost a religious silence around the small crater, like even nature _knew_. Roxas sat down in front of the black stone – he would've had to wash his clothes right away once back to the castle, the ash marks would've ginve away his crime instantly. There were a couple more cracks than the last time he visited: it wouldn't take much longer now, and yet that left Roxas way more pissed than he was willing to admit. 

When Sun went to sleep, leaving just an ounce of his power to his people, Roxas had to attend the ceremony as the Designated Son – something way more solemn than it actually was. It was just a nap, who cares if during that nap the Sun turned into igneous rock and just napped for a while until they were ready to hatch like an egg? Roxas had to sit through the whole process of hardening for five whole hours. Sitting there and watching Sun being encapsulated in black rocks until the last strad of hair was inside. 

Roxas crossed his arms. « You're taking way too much time, is this a punishment thought out specifically for me? Is it for the time I left your ship stranded in the middle of the sea with not a breadth of air? Or when during an important meeting, I knocked your wine glass... twice?»

No response. _As usual._

Roxas stood there in silence for a while, arms crossed and eyes scanning the cracks on the stone, like he could will them open in a matter of seconds. When it was clear nothing would have come to it, Roxas left, walking the rightful path toward the underground passage for the castle. 

Still a couple of days. Then he would be free as air. 

*

A whole week passed. Roxas was busy in a meeting with the Master of Lands – something he had tried to avoid for days until he actually cornered him on his way toward the gardens (Roxas just wanted five minutes for himself, _five_). They were talking about the status of the southern lands and the conditions of the orchards when they both felt a low rumble under their feet. At first, they hadn't exactly paid attention to it: they could've imagined it, mind playing tricks after one month of waiting. But then, the rumble came and came again, more and more persistent. 

Roxas let out a long sigh, smiling wide. « _Oh_, thank you, _finally!_» And they both sprinted toward the underground passage. Even from inside the castle, Roxas could hear the roar coming from outside and it wasn't the waking Sun: it was the cheering of people pouring into the streets and the plazas. Roxas and the Master met the rest of the Circle on their way to the undergrounds, exchanging their quick greeting by putting briefly their hands on one eye – Roxas hoped that would be the last time to greet someone like that. 

At the crater, the Masters and the two Attendants that followed them circled the rock. Roxas sat down right in front of the biggest crack. There was an amber liquid oozing from it, dripping onto the dip of the earth: it was like staring at molten gold and lava. Once one piece of rock fell down, all the rest crumbled away, slowly and all at once. The Masters and the Attendants took a careful step back: the warmth was unbearable even for Roxas. Even the wind seemed hot now, no matter how strong he could call it to be. 

« If you want to shed of your old form, you must walk with me,» said Roxas, getting up once again. The thing in front of him had no specific shape: he could see two long tendrils that must have been the arms and that thing on top could have been the head, but more than that Roxas couldn't say. 

He started walking. The golden mass moved slowly, climbing up the small ridge of the crater and crawling forward. The Masters waited a while before following, standing on the side of the trail. Roxas kept on walking, stopping only to check if they were still behind him: the form was excruciatingly slow and the Windriser had to force himself not to roll his eyes into another galaxy. It would have taken hours before reaching the beach. 

A sizzling sound filled the religious silence of the Walk and Roxas moved his head to the side just to see a piece of molten gold being spitted out by the form, falling on the ground with a clinging sound. One attendant picked it up with a long stick – much similar to some sort of pincers – and put it into the basket: it was a long, heavy, gold necklace. 

And there it went the first memory.

The Walk was, as much as everything else, a long process. Roxas had to walk in front of the shape all the way toward the ocean and during this time, one Attendant had to catch the memories of the old Sun: the more important and vivid, the bigger the shape if would take once cold. Except for _one_ in particular. It was always a piece of jewellery and it was always, obviously, gold. Tradition was that the Sun had to wear all the jewels spitted out during the Walk, but sometimes there were so many important memories, so many trinkets, it was impossible to carry them all. Roxas wondered if this new Sun was more willing to wear jewels than the last one. 

After what seemed like hours – and to Roxas it must have been – they reached the beach. He walked all the way toward the end, where the water met the shore. Roxas dipped his feet into the cold water, finally able to breathe fresh air and feel the breeze caressing his clothes. Given the state he was in – shirt clinging to his skin, drops of sweat rolling down from his forehead and along his spine – he really could use a cold bath. He would've given everything to just dive into the ocean and become a summer breeze. 

The gold mass finally reached the water and when it did, a loud sizzling sound could be heard. Roxas walked back to the Attendants, taking the cloth they brought from the castle and returning to the edge of the beach. There was a boiling circle there where the form had stopped moving, water bubbling softly. He put the cloth down and then took a few steps back. It wouldn't take long at this point. 

When the water stopped bubbling and the splashing of the waves against the beach was the only audible sound, aside from the distant roaring somewhere behind them, Roxas covered his eyes. And waited. 

« _Stars_, what a nap!»

Roxas made a face behind his hands. After more than a month without the actual Sun and the first thing that came out from their mouth was how amazing had been the Long Sleep, the moment a new sovereign was born, the rebirth of the First Eye that first gazed upon the world... now _all of that_ reduced to a nap. Like a cat that just happened to fall asleep somewhere and snoozed off a couple of hours. Roxas still hadn't see them and already knew what kind of pain in the ass they would become. 

Roxas stood perfectly still, alone with his thoughts while listening to the rustling of clothes. First Eye was mumbling something Roxas couldn't hear and he wondered briefly what was better: his ears devoid of every other bullshit that the Sun's mouth could spit out, blessing him with ignorance, or knowing full well what he was saying and hoping to fall deaf in an instant. 

He didn't have time to dwell on that because Roxas got picked up so forcefully he basically yelped in shock, hands falling from his face. The Sun's warmth was unbearable by this distance, probably still getting accustomed to reality. 

« My Windriser!»

Sun's voice was a strange thing: it sounded strident and hard on the ears, like someone was scratching the surface of a plate. It was getting gentler and more humanly intelligible the more he talked. After successfully being able to sneak away from the hug, Roxas took a step back, one hand returning to his eyes, avoiding to look at them. 

« You know the rules!» Roxas reproached, able to breathe again now that he wasn't basically pressed against a hot stove. 

He heard them groaning, like the whole thing was already taxing. When they took hold of his wrist, Roxas felt their fingers like a brand of fire around the skin. It didn't exactly hurt, but it was the kind of heat that starts to make you uncomfortable. 

Sun drew his hand away from his eyes. And finally, Roxas could take a look at them. 

Sun could've lighted the whole city with just a smile. There were freckles peppered all over his cheeks, looking like specks of gold or tiny constellations. His eyes were pale golden, still taking form: Roxas wondered briefly if he was actually seeing or everything still looked like a blur to him. He was much taller than he remembered. 

« So you went with red this time,» said Roxas, focusing his gaze on the top of Sun's head: a mane so red it was impossible not to stare at it. If he focused hard enough, Roxas could see golden filaments among the strands. It was like staring at a fire, its flames dancing in the wind. « Your forehead looks even bigger like this.»

Sun made a face at him: he looked terribly offended. He stood there in front of him, mouth agape, ready to say something even though no sound actually came out. Roxas thought he looked like a fish out of water, but said nothing about it. He offered his arm so that Sun could lean on him and walk together toward the Circle and the Attendants, still standing there with their eyes covered. 

« Aside from this snarky comment which I, merciful and benevolent king, have decided to skate over,» said Sun, leaning on his arm so that Roxas could guide him – his eyes were still adjusting as he thought, « things went well, I suppose?»

Roxas rolled his eyes so far back he thought he had seen a glimpse of his brain. « Yes, and you took way longer than it was necessary, like the prima donna that you are. You know I don't fare well in the palace.»

Sun laughed, a clear sound that was so similar to the clinking of his bracelets. « Who should I leave in my stead if not my Designated Son? The Master of Land perhaps?»

Roxas reflected on it for a while. Any candidate was worse than the other for a number of different reasons. Leaving the throne to Master Architect? The one who wanted to design a room made of oak woods _for Sun? _« Okay, fair enogh,» said, stealing another chuckle from the man at his side, « But I have to leave now. I can't stay here.»

Sun's lips took a downward turn at the corners, the specks of gold on his face and on his shoulders glinting slightly more weakly in the light. « If that's what you want, I won't stop you. But don't make me worry.»

They both stopped in their tracks before they could reach the rest of the Circle. Sun was looking at him with a new smile. He ruffled Roxas' hair: he absolutely loathed him whenever he did that, but Roxas let him; he let him be the affectionate father for a couple of seconds. 

Roxas smiled back, taking off his anklets and bracelets and letting them fall on the sand. They made no sound. He started walking back on the edge of the water, before halting himself once more: he almost forgot. 

« Have you already chosen a new name?» he asked, turning toward him, wind catching on his clothes like it was way more excited than he was to go back to his form. 

Sun nodded. « Lea.»

Roxas smiled. « Lea.» He bowed his head just slightly as a goodbye.

« Don't get yourself into trouble.»

Roxas scoffed, resuming his walk toward the water. Finally he could return to be the wayward son, no more politics, no more talking, nothing. He showed a grin. « I never do.»

He dipped his feet in the water once again. Now everything was going back to normal. Roxas fixed his eyes on the horizon, knowing exactly where he wanted to go, how fast he wanted to be.

He breathed in. 

_Finally_. 

When Roxas breathed out, the wind seemed to do the same. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Nicole once again: many things i poured in this one were because of you and your breathtaking drawings that now you gotta show to the world
> 
> title from sunlight // Hozier


	2. there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first chapters of this story? a constant ashtag do it for the aesthetic

One moment Roxas was standing on the edge of the water, clothes rustling against his skin, shoulders relaxed. The moment after, the wind rose and Roxas was gone. Lea felt a breeze ruffling his hair before dying down, travelling toward the open sea. He sighed. Roxas knew how to take care of himself, but that didn't help him relax anyway: he knew how careless he could get once freedom got to his head.

Lea returned his gaze toward the Masters behind him. It couldn't exactly be called "seeing": Sun could see jackshit with his eyes in that condition, like there was a golden patina on his retina. He could still see shapes though and that helped him approach his Council without any help. He moved their hands from their eyes one by one, sound of surprise and bewilderment following him every time he passed toward another Master.

« First Eye, you outdone yourself this time,» said one of the Master of Lands, looking at him with the same awe she might have shown while staring at thriving fields of olive grove, stretching far and wide, « no wonder it took you so long this time.»

« How long have I been asleep?— oh, good morning to you!» Lea removed the Attendant's hands from their eyes, greeting them with a smile. He couldn't say what they were doing, but judging from the fretful fidgeting Lea could tell they were nervous. « No need to be this formal, I'm just a guy who was just reborn from his own ashes, no biggie,» he joked, but that seemed to make them even more nervous. 

« They're new,» responded the Master of Star: they were the one that, in a couple of hours, would walk to the city and announce his name. Basically, their job was maintaning things traditional and solemn— something Sun wasn't a fan of, but what can one do? He couldn't exactly fire them. Sun directed his gaze toward the taller shape, « and you've been asleep for forty-two days, First Eye.»

« Lea is fine, Asidera, thank you,» he said, starting to walk back toward the castle, stumbling in his own steps in the process. He heard the Attendants rushing by his side, hands hovering over him, « for being First Eye, the first to the gaze upon the world and all of that, I can't say I'm exactly... gazing right now.»

One of the Attendants gently grabbed him by the arm, drawing him upward. Sun leant on them thankfully and started walking. This time they would have to take the road through the garden, which Sun couldn't wait to see— if his eyes could adjust soon enough. There was a light breeze catching the cloth around him, making his hair billowing in the wind.

When they finally got to the garden, Lea's eyes had started to shed that golden patina, coiling down his eyes in gold tendrils. It wasn't exactly hurting, but it cause a sting, mich like crying. He had to halt his steps, letting one of the Attendant to put a basket under his face and wait for the tears to drop. When they did, there was a clinging sound and then, soon after, another one.

And Lea could finally see.

He blinked a couple of times. « Oh, _finally_!» He turned his gaze toward the two Attendants. The boy and the girl in front of him were around the same age as Roxas. They were wearing one of those flowy and comfortable chitons assigned to their ranks, meant to leave their movements free of any impediment. The red of the clothes were a stark contrast against the dark of their skin.

« What's your name?» Sun asked, turning his gaze toward the girl with black locks. 

« I'm Leni.»

« I'm Kora. I'm her brother,» answered the boy when Lea looked at him. 

« It's nice to actually see you. Now,» Lea turned his head toward the part of the garden that was waiting for him as much as he did. A smile bloomed on his lips, « want to see a trick?»

Leni and Kora exchanged a look, not knowing exactly what to say. Nobody explained them what they had to say if these were the circumstances. Lea huffed a laugh and grabbed their hands, taking long strides toward the west side of the garden, passing under the archways filled with white flowers. Kora was too entranced to care where he was going, stumbling in his feet more than once. When they reached a round spot with stone benches around and a small spring with water lily on the surface, a yellow field stretched before them.

« Aren't those—?»

« My sunflowers!» Lea rejoiced, running toward the maze of flowers, their stems long and slender, stretching toward the sky. They were a bit taller than him and when he approached the first line, the sunflowers seemed to turn toward him. « I really missed looking at you,» he said, didn't know if he meant to say it out loud. His hands travelled down the stems, the rustling of the petals above him sounded so much like the sound of the waves. Behind him, Kora and Leni were following him in his steps. 

« Did you ever come here, Leni and Kora?» Lea asked, while watching a sunflower opening at his passage. He threaded his fingers along his petals.

« They told us this place is yours to stay in,» said the girl, watching a sunflowers bent toward her like the curious thing it was. Leni was looking at it with wide eyes, saying, « so we didn't exactly—»

« Who told you this?» Lea asked, turning toward them. Then it suddenly dawned on him, « oh, no, wait, don't tell me: it was the Master of Star.»  


They exchanged a look: it was the look siblings exchange while pondering on a commune decision, if it turned out to be beneficial or counter-productive for them. They decided to nod, reluctant as it was. 

Lea scoffed, shooting a glance at the Circle: they decided to stay behind, satisfied in watching the Sun walking down the Sunflower Path. The Master of Star looked as congested as usual, their piercing eyes focused on the kids next to Sun. « Figures,» he commented, « don't pay too much attention to them. Asidera is way too attached to old traditions. And I am not.»

Lea walked ahead still, waking sunflowers as he went by, caressing stems and petals and feeling the earth under his feet. He really missed this. 

« Come here whenever you like. But don't hurt the flowers. If you want to bring one home, ask the gardeners. Or me directly, if you want.»

« You cut down your sunflowers?» Kora asked, a look halfway between confusion and sadness on his face.  


Lea gave a distract nod, shrugging. « Why shouldn't I? I cut them so they can stay with someone else. It's a gift. I don't cut them down just to put them in my own castle, that's cruel. And kinda stupid since I have a field right here.»

« Isn't cutting them down cruel in the first place though?»  


« Don't you put flowers in the middle of the tables during a dinner, just to throw them away after? _That_ is cruel. There's nothing cruel in me giving to someone else just one of the many sunflowers I own. Or maybe there is something cruel behind it, but I don't see it. But I like to think if I don't see it, they won't as well.» And while saying this, Lea cut down two pretty sunflowers. He briefly rested his lips on their crowns and then handed them both to the siblings. « Bring them home to your family. Just put them in a vase large enough for their roots to grow. Better yet if you have a garden. When they'll die, tell my gardener. She will know what to do.»  


Kora was looking at the sunflowers in his hands like they were goblets filled with gold. Leni was the first to talk, eyes bright and wide.

« Thank you, First—»

Sun shot her a glance. 

« — Lea. Thank you,» and bowed her head. Her brother did the same, just slightly later, still too caught up in his own emotion to act fast.  


Lea winked and walked past them, practically bouncing along the way, returning to the small circle of Masters just outside the field. « Small progress!»

*

Back in the castle, while Lea was in the Spring, louging on the banister after getting rid of the last residual of ashes (_« I sure wish rebirth was cleaner, I got ash everywhere, look at this!»_), he thought back about the last Sun. He couldn't remember the details of his last life, feeling more like a distant dream blurred at the edges. He inspected the basket that Leni left in the room, the one she had carried during the Walk. 

Lea grabbed a thick golden bracelet: there was an amber set right in the middle — that meant he must have cried, couldn't tell if it was out of joy or grief. If it was there, it must have been an important memory. But if Lea had to wear every single piece of gold on his body, he wouldn't be able to walk straight. Or walk at all, for that matter. 

He dropped the bracelet somewhere and went for a long, heavy necklace. It was built like a choker that widened around the collarbones. Lea could hear the snapping of his spine just by imagining of wearing that. It ended with the pendant of the sun and the circle inside the spikes was clearly a ruby. 

« I don't even wanna know what happened here, I must have been ecstatic that day, look at this thing!» Lea dropped it next to the bracelet, mumbling to himself, « if Asidera makes me wear it, I will throw them out of the window when Roxas isn't watching.»  


His fingers stumbled on a small, circular bracelet. It was so thin it looked like it would break in a matter of seconds, but it shone brighter than any other jewel. Carved on the surface, there were lithe lines, wrapping all around the gold. He remembered this, because he couldn't possibly forget, even after so many centuries. 

The birth of the Windriser. The only jewel that actually mattered. Lea put it on right away, the only trinket he could care about to wear while still abthing. He swam away from the banister, going under the small waterfall: it was coming down from another round pool up ahead, the one with all the flowers drowned in it and impossible to access anyway. 

While under the waterfall, Lea's eyes went to the glass vault above him, showing him the azure sky. If he focused hard enough and drowned out the crashing of water, he could hear the cheering of his people outside the palace. 

Lea smiled weakly.  _Nothing really has changed._

« First Eye, are you decent?»

Lea turned his eyes toward the doors, swimming lazily toward the banister. He crossed his arms and rested his chin there. He smirked wide. « Yes.»

« First Eye, are you lying to me?»

Lea's smirk died on his face. There were as many times he could try that trick before it gold old and nobody could fall for it again. « If I say no?»

« I wouldn't believe you.»

Lea sighed and got out of the Spring, careful not to crash down and break something on the way toward his cloth. He tied it quickly at his waist, grabbed the basket of the memories and went for the door. Asidera was standing right in front of him, arm in front of them, the veils around his face not nearly enough to hide that expression of annoyance on their face. « See? Decent.»

Asidera's lips curled at the corner in what Lea could read as distaste. He knew what they were about to say before the words got out of their mouth. « Decent, yes, but I don't think your people is quite ready to see their sovereign getting out in a bathrobe to give them your blessing. Also, we have to tame that... man of yours, First Eye.»

« Lea.» Sun corrected them, blowing away from his face a strand of hair.  


« As _First Eye_ certainly know,» kept saying the Master of Star, decided to ignore the suggestion, « people are waiting for you outside.»  


Lea tried to get away from them by sprinting to his room, like saying that he knew what he had to do and he wanted to make sure he gave the impression he was in a rush to do it. Asidera kept up with him, talking about how many things needed his undivided attention now that he was back: he had to go see for himself his lands, calling the Rays, checking with the Master of Trades, greetings the rebirth of Moon, trying to reason with the Raincatcher that Roxas angered... Lea had stopped listening halfway through his rooms and when he wanted to go inside, Asidera looked like they wanted to follow him. 

« Woah, woah, Asidera, I get we are close, but—» said Lea, standing on the door, keeping a hand on the Master's chest as to stop them from getting any closer.  


« I haven't finished yet. Also, there is nothing under that robe that I haven't already seen.»

Lea felt his cheeks and ears on fire — and that was something coming from Sun. « Just wait here!» and closed the door behind him. Lea let out a heavy sigh, sagging against the doors. Now that there was silence, the loud noise outside was way more audible than before. He approached the window, but from there he could just see a corner of the plaza.

He got to work.

His skin and hair were already dry. He regretted having long hair the moment he started to comb them through, meeting new form of knots the more he went down. At some point, when his arms had started to go numb, he gave up (_« Next life: bald.__»_).

The clothes were definitely the easiest part: he went for the long, light red dress that showed his shoulders, tying a big knot at the waist. It was the kind of lucid material that shown the lines of his body underneath. He could already hear the complaints of Asidera blowing his ears off, but he also couldn't care less. To make them happy, he put on some earrings - the big hoops, because he thought the bigger they were, the happier they would have been. He ran his hands through his hair one last time and went out. 

The moment Asidera laid their eyes on him, their faces went through the entire spectrum of the human emotion, but just the negative ones. In particular, any emotion related to disgust and distaste. « Oh, _don't you even think_—_» _And they were already pushing Lea inside the room once more, Sun trying to grapple the doorway.  


« You'll never have me!» Lea cried out, trying to sneak away from the steel grip of Asidera: they were so strong for a moment Sun thought they were ready to break his ribs, anything to get him inside and have their way with him.  


In the end, they actually had him: Asidera and the two Attendants of before. Lea sat on the cushions with the utmost displeased expression, arms crossed on his chest. Kora and Leni looked apologetically enough, so he couldn't exactly be mad at them. Kora was applying a line of eyeliner on his eyes, something that Lea hadn't seen yet but instantly knew how heavy it was going to be. Leni was working through his hair like she was afraid to hurt him, caressing the strands with the comb, carefully unleashing the knots. She made it look so much easier. 

Asidera was busy fixing his long cape, a gigantic thing that Lea had wanted to avoid with all his heart but couldn't because "traditions". 

« It's just for one day, First Eyes, you'll hardly feel it,» they said, now busy with adjusting the thick necklace around Lea's neck: the one that would've have granted Asidera the chance to fly for the first time out of the window. Leni and Kora had moved away, letting the Master of Star fix the last things, like tying better the dress to make the knot look bigger or locking the last anklets.  


« Yeah, tell that to my spine when I'll come back,» said Lea, watching himself in the mirror for the first time now that Asidera had moved back. There wasn't even a part of Lea that didn't glint gold, starting from the freckles on his cheeks and shoulders, the round earrings at his ears, the small ring on his nose, down to his chest where the ruby pendant of his necklace rested.  


« Pretty...»  


Leni covered her mouth instantly, like the comment came out from the lips automatically before she could stop it. Lea winked at her, trying to tell her to relax. Then, on unstable legs, he finally got up. It felt like lead was strapped everywhere on his body and most of it was because of the cape behind him. 

« Pretty uncomfortable, if you ask me,» joked Lea, going very slowly toward the door. Either the cape caught _accidentally_ on fire during the walk toward the plaza, freeing him of the weight, or it would choke him on the way.  


« You know this cape is important for you in the first place, First Eye, you can't possibly think not to wear it at least on the day of the Blessing,» said the Master of Star, in that tone of voice that made Lea felt like he was being scolded. 

« I know, I know,» he sighed, turning his gaze toward the siblings. He smiled, « do _you_ know?» 

They both nodded. « It's the cape of your history. It tells the story of the First Light and the blessings you gave us.» Kora explained, hands behind his back, amber eyes fixed on the Sun. 

« Threaded in gold by the first Master of Star,» added Leni, but her eyes were fixed on the heavy cloth behind Lea's back. She had a dreamy expression on her face.  


Lea smirked and returned his gaze toward Asidera. « See? They studied.»

The Master of Star looked terribly offended. « Of course they studied, did you think they were raised in a barn?» They looked at the kids again. « Walk with him. Careful with the cape.» And opened the door of the room, the veils around their faces and shoulders billowing behind. 

Leni and Kora went behind Lea, each one grabbing the ends of the cape. When Lea started — agonizingly slow — to walk, the siblings did the same. 

*

Getting to the main plaza was a drag. Lea had to set his pacing to "deadly slow", even Kora and Leni were fidgety and restless behind him. Lea found the feeling so relatable it almost hurt. 

« How you doing back there?» Lea asked, turning his head one inch to the right, the only movement he was allowed to make with all the gold strapped around his neck and ears.  


« Good.» Leni didn't sound good at all. 

Lea laughed, the gold clinking with the movement. « I know, kiddo. Hang in there. Once we are close to the plaza, we could go from "agonizingly slow" to just "turtle slow".»

« Is that any better?»

« Oh, _trust me_, it is.»

The castle was bustling with energy. Everyone had basically stopped everything they were doing to witness the walk toward the plaza: there was nothing solemn in this, Lea was just pretty to look. He was feeling more like a portrait or a walking art piece than an actual person. All eyes were on him. Of course, Lea liked to be seen; but this was also being studied, from the top of his red hair to the end of his toes. He wondered briefly if they were looking at him or they just stopped at the gold. 

Lea could already feel the nape of his neck aching and they haven't reached the plaza just yet. There was a long day ahead of him. 

When they finally reached the door that would have let the whole parade in the plaza, Asidera fixed him once more, pushing back his hair, opening a bit more the neckline of his dress. The kids had let go of the cape and stood right next to him, once on each side. Lea was already hurting at the thought of walking on his own with all that weight behind him. 

« Close your eyes, First Eye,» said Asidera. Lea did as he was told, hearing them saying once more to the kids, « help him go down the stairs once outside. Careful.»  


Lea felt the kids grabbing his arms, gently, like he was made of glass. They were very closed to him now and Kora huffed at his side. 

Lea laughed. « Warm?»

Kora sounded embarrassed when he replied, « A bit.»

« I know,» said Lea, moving his head slightly toward the boy, « sadly, the last time I went alone, I broke my arm.»  


« Really?» Leni sounded way more relaxed than her brother. Lea liked her very much, she wore her heart on her sleeve.  


« You can ask Windriser when he returns. He'd be happy to tell you all the embarrassing things that happened to me. And he has seen many, believe me.»  


Asidera coughed in front of them, requesting attention and silence. When the talking died down, the Master of Star turned around and opened the door. Lea didn't need to see to know how many people had poured into the streets and into the plaza just to catch a glimpse of him. He could feel it in the roaring silence, the expectant suspense. 

Sun heard Asidera walking forward, the rustling of their clothes dragging across the floor, stopping at the edge of the landing. 

« We spent forty-two days without truly looking. The light has shone weaker in this time. The flowers has stopped growing. Our skin ran cold and what kid wants to go play outside when the sky is so dull?»  


Lea took a step outside, Leni and Kora right next to him to support him. The cape behind Sun seemed to weigh tons and made a face when he felt the tugging of his necklace around his neck. 

_I'm going to choke, I'm gonna kill Asidera, I've had this body for like... five hours now?_

« But todays we can look again at each other. We can look forward to a brighter future.»  


Lea reached the edge of the landing and felt Kora and Leni's gripp tightening around his arms: they were going down the stairs. Each step he took, Lea felt the silence becoming way heavier than the cape dragging behind him. He knew that as long as he kept walking his people would have kept his eyes closed. And that made him even more nervous, no matter how many times he had played that same scene, over and over again.

At some point, the siblings stopped their descent and Lea did the same. He heard them going up the stairs, next to the Master of Star. 

Sun was alone in front of thousands of people. 

« For Sun is seeing once again.»

Lea breathed in. 

« So now we must see as well.»  


When he breathed out, Sun finally opened his eyes. And with him, a myriad of others did the same. 

It came as a collective sound of awe, a loud noise that stole Lea's breath. Then nothing else. He went down the rest of the stairs, slower than he liked it to be. When he reached the plaza, a kid in front of him with a yellow bandage around his left eye stared at Sun with his mouth agape, wide eyed. 

Lea bent down, jewels clinging around him. He put a hand on his cheek and then, with one, swift movement, removed the sash. It fell down on the ground with no sound. 

Sun smiled. « Hi.»  


Then it came the roar. It was loud enough to pierce Lea's ears, too preoccupied in getting up without being squashed by the people around hm. No matter how many times he did that, over and over again. It wasn't the walk among the sunflowers, it wasn't the bath in the spring, least of all the dressing, especially with the Master of Star's eyes fixed on him, studying his every movement. 

The most important part for him was the Blessing: the walk among his people. Even in the furious and rejoicing state, there was a carefulness and softness when they touched him. Feelins his hands, his skin under the robe, the softness of his hair, caressing the specks of gold around his cheeks and shoulders, glinting brighter every time someone touched them. Sometimes, someone would steal a kiss. Lea was generous in his affection, denying nothing. 

While walking, older people would steer clear of the cape. The kids sometimes liked to go under it, enjoying the moment the black of the cape, passing over their heads, let them see the light. Lea smiled, watching the moment the kids would come out from underneath, running toward their parents after it. While passing by, Lea removed the sash from his people's eyes, bowing briefly his head as a way of greeting. 

The Blessing always took a while, a long process that would take hours before the end. 

Lea didn't mind at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "From Eden" // Hozier 
> 
> i swear not every title will be a hozier lyrics, but.... they're so good and specific....


	3. do you walk in the meadow of spring?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *barges through the door with a spritz in my hand* y'all guess who just finished the last exam of her academic life so she can finally graduate in two months yeah it me i'm back my funky friends

The Blessing took hours to end and when it was over, Lea sat down on the stairs of the palace, watching the plaza celebrating and passing plates of foods over their heads. Leni and Kora fixed his cape on the stairs so that it was elegantly draped all over and everybody could look at the intricate words and picture weaved into the silk. Lea's neck was starting to seriously hurt, even while sitting. He just couldn't wait to go lay down on his cushions for the rest of the day once the whole feast was over.

People started to pass giant plates of food above their heads, offering bites and pieces to everyone, denying nothing to anybody. Lea liked to steal a piece whenever the plate passed near him, winking at the kids next to him like the food he had taken was a secret he wanted to share with them. Their laugh a shrill in the air. Asidera wasn't saying anything, too preoccupied in talking to the men and women that came looking for advice. Lea was glad this part of the Blessing was free of obligations or stuffy behaviour.

Sun basically stuffed his face with food, unable to deny even a single bite – even that chicken dipped in honey and cornflowers that was way too sweet for his tastes for being a second course. He tried the wine, flowing down his throat like water. He talked to everyone that came to him, letting everyone ruffle his hair, play with the strands, braiding. Someone started singing in an old language, instruments playing loud. Lea actually wanted to join the dance in the plaza, but moving with all the trinkets and that cape he was wearing made it impossible to move freely.

He remained seated, following the rhythm by clapping his hands, laughing every time a child threw petals at him or waved in his direction.

« Looks like you are enjoying yourself, First Eye.»

Lea had to turn around his whole body just to be able to actually at the person who was speaking. It was the Master of Lands. Sun remembered her as a vibrant woman who sometimes could be a little more nervous and anxious than her companions but she was hard working and always had the people's interest at heart. She was wearing a sari that day, one with strikes of pink and gold all over the layers of fabric, and her dark skin was covered in thin dark lines of ink, from her feet to the side of the neck, reaching the jaw.

« Moravi,» called Lea, smiling at her, « come sit down next to me, I swear I will break my neck if I keep looking at you like this.»

Moravi bowed her head and sat down next to him, keeping a certain distance. Lea couldn't tell if it was for the warmth he emanated or out of respect.

« Windriser made a wonderful job while you were away, First Eye.»

« Not you, too, Moravi, please, Lea is fine,» Lea accepted a flower crown a child brought him. He bowed his head and let them put it on top of his hair. The smile they gave him was so wide Lea could see all the missing baby teeth and the pink gums. He smiled back, ruffling his hair. When the child left, waving at him, Lea continued, « and a little birdy told me Roxas had words with the Raincatcher.»

Moravi made a face at him, like saying that that was just the mistake of the reckless youth and there was nothing Lea could do about it. And Lea actually couldn't: Roxas came from the ocean, in silence but bringing with him the omens of an upcoming storm: Lea knew his nature before he even opened his eyes upon the world.

« He was very tired, Fi-» Moravi stopped herself before Lea could even have the chance to look at her, « Lea. And the Raincatcher was... particularly sensible that day.»

It was Lea's time to make a face at her. The Raincatcher has always been a stable presence in his kingdom's existence; every crop was flourishing because of a mutual work, the result of a deal that went a long way back. Fae of that kind weren't known for their gentleness, living their existence a deal at a time: Raincatcher just happened to be the gentle type. Gentle, not stupid. Not someone you should underestimate just because she smiles and just act as a half decent person. Lea knew that the Raincatcher's sensibility didn't matter at all in this matter: it was Roxas, always reckless, always running his mouth no matter what possibly could go wrong.

Lea sighed. Then again, it wasn't his fault either. Windriser had spent forty-two days inside the palace, unable to leave. That was something that had always driven him crazy, walking every corridor, marching up and down while outside the leaves flew toward the ocean. Maybe he had reached the end of the rope when he went dealing with her.

« What did he do?» When he turned to her, Moravi was biting her bottom lip, like she was the one who cause the trouble in the first place. Sun sighed, « I promise I won’t get mad at Roxas, Moravi, it’s fine, just tell me.»

« Might I also point out, Windriser was… on edge that day, Lea.»

That wasn’t helping much in solving the whole situation, nor stopped his mind to work out the most apocalyptic scenarios. Lea gave out a long sigh, taking a sip from the goblet of wine in his hand. « By the Rays, just tell me, Moravi.»

Apparently, while Raincatcher respected her end of the deal, Windriser just— did not. She told him something just for fun, in part just to play and in part to rile him up – something Lea understood, Raincatcher was part of _that_ kind of fae: always snarky, always playing tricks. Roxas sometimes forgot he could be like that, too: how could Lea forget the time he dropped all his clothes in the harbour just because he prohibited him to join the Elemental Games? Windriser had laughed so much the whole town had sirocco for three days straight.

But apparently, on that fine morning, Roxas was not having it.

« So he—»

« He rescinded the deal, yes.»

Lea gulped the whole drink down, the bitter taste burning his throat and churning his stomach almost instantly. Moravi was looking at him with that kind of guilty look kids watch their parents after setting the kitchen on fire.

Sun closed his eyes, trying to regain his focus, setting his thoughts straight now that he was still sober. « I’m gonna kill my own son.»

« May I ask you to think about this rather thoroughly?»

« You’re _very_ right,» he said, waiting three full seconds before saying, « done, I’m gonna kill him.» And got up like he really wanted to do something like that. His head swam for a brief moment before he could recollect himself. The Master of Land got up as fast he did, just with much more grace since she couldn’t drink. Her hands hovered on his arm without actually grabbing him.

« Asidera.» Lea called, but he didn’t even have time to say their name that the Master of Star was already at his side, hands behind their back.

« Yes, First Eye?»

« Let’s see if I can save something from the mess my _beloved_ Windriser had caused in my absence. Call the Ray up north, she should be there today. Tell her to come and see me, we will think of a new deal.»

Asidera bowed their head: they looked rather shocked he would solve this matter during the celebration. But then, the whole thing happened just few days ago, Lea could still repair their relationship somehow: surely she would’ve asked something more to “heal the wounded pride of her clan”. Lea’s mind was already working the possibilities while Leini and Kora were grabbing onto his cape and walking with him up the stairs.

The drums and the singing and the clapping were still as loud as ever, he could still hear his people while in his rooms.

*

Leni helped him out of the cape – when the clasps opened, Sun actually gave out a long, relieved sigh. He even took out the long, heavy necklace around his neck. With the same attention he could reserve to his most beloved possessions, he even removed the flower crown the child gave him some time before, putting it on top of the small table against the wall.

« Better?» Leni asked, taking the necklace while Kora was busy fixing every wrinkle on the cape: that kid was young and still he understood the wrath Asidera would bring upon his head if the cape got messy or something else happened to it.

Lea rubbed the nape of his neck, glad that now he could actually move his head around. « So much better. Now,» and fixed the big shirt on him, loosening just slightly the bow around his waist – the one Asidera tightened so much before the Blessing Lea actually thought they were going to choke him to death. He opened the door of his rooms, Leni and Kora walking down the corridor at his side, « let’s see if you studied your lesson: whom am I going to meet right now—or in a couple of hours anyway, that will depend on how angry she still is?»

« The Raincatcher,» Leni answered first, shooting a knowing smirk to Kora, left there with his mouth hanging open. Lea smiled, listening to what she had to say. « She’s tasked with giving the water your kingdom needs to prosper. She’s part of the Balance.»

« And what’s the Balance?»

« It’s a three-way deal with the Windriser, the Raincatcher and the Rays. One to have the favours of the wind, one to guarantee the prosperity of your crops and one to aid you in the control of your vast provinces. All of them, with you, form the roots of the Balance.»

Sun made a rather impressed face at Leni, something that made her straightening her back and raised her head higher, like a peacock rather proud of their tail.

« And do you know why Roxas decided to fuck up everything I built so carefully over thousand of years?» asked Lea, walking down the glass corridor: It was a long hall that showed the clear sky upon them and lead to the gardens. Leni and Kora’s eyes were already on the vastness of the fields that went on and on before their very eyes. Even on the opposite end of the plaza, Sun could still hear in the distance the faint sound of the drums and the bells.

The two Attendants shot a look at each other while going down the two small steps that gave way to the path toward the centre of the garden, walking past the white statues and the plants growing on the stone.

« Asidera told us he had something to say to the Raincatcher,» responded Kora behind him.

« “Something to say” is quite general, care to be more specific?» Lea made a turn to the right.

« Nobody went with the Windriser. He said he could do it on his own,» explained Leni, trying to keep up with Lea’s pace as much as his brother.

« Said he needed some time alone anyway,» added Kora, looking at a statue where yellow flowers were growing in the space were the eyes should’ve been. It was eerie and haunting and terrifyingly beautiful all the same. They kept walking forward, following the path.

Lea spotted in the distance a distinctive redhead between the rose archways. He picked up the pace, the jewels at his ankles clinking every step he took. And maybe that was what made the Gardener raised her head toward the source of the noise.

Sun smiled automatically upon seeing her. « Kairi!» And went directly for a hug, something the girl quietly accepted even though Lea heard her huffing a breath when he embraced her. He parted right away, aware how hot he was still running.

« I heard you call yourself Lea now,» Kairi said, putting a hand on her eye so that Sun could draw it quickly away like he did with the others. She gave him a long look, starting from the top of his head to the jewels around his ankles. Kairi gave him a smile, « you’re way prettier than before.»

Lea gave a friendly and light push against the shoulder. « Flatterer.» He moved slightly to the side so she could wave at Leni and Kora behind him: they seemed to know each other – something that didn’t surprise him. Kairi was the Gardener of the palace, outgoing and solar just like the pretty flowers she helped growing. She had this baggy green pants with all kinds of gardening objects stuffed in her pockets and the white shirt was stained with green and brown marks: she didn’t seem to mind too much.

« Where’s your sister?» Lea asked, looking around the field, searching for a familiar blonde head.

Kairi pointed the sharp end of the scissors right at him. « She’s checking the west field because _someone_ decided to carve a new path right in the middle, stepping on all the flowers.»

« I certainly didn’t do it,» Sun said, but in the moment he said it he was already sure who had done it.

« I’m talking about Roxas, Sun, he was out of his mind a couple of days ago and no matter how many times I told him not to step on the flowers because there’s a path right here,» and she tapped her foot on the pathway under them, « he wasn’t even listening, next time he does something like that I will cut his feet right off, do you have any idea how many days my sister and I sang to make those flowers live during the storms?»

Kairi was livid in her fury and Lea could understand why: when Roxas was angry there was nothing to hold him down and maybe stepping onto the flowers didn’t seem like a huge deal for him. But after all, no one could understand the craftsmanship and the art behind growing flowers. Also, Sun could just imagine what toll could take, singing their hearts out the two of them just to make sure the flowers didn’t die right in front of them after months of caring just for a particularly hard rain.

« I will talk to him.» Lea was sure he would have to say the same sentence a bunch of times to make people understand he was going to make amends for the mistakes of his own wayward son.

« You better or else,» Kairi whirled the scissors around, cutting the stem of a rose clean off. She took it between her hands, careful not to touch the thorns – but even if she did, her hands sported cuts and calluses from years of prickling herself with every kind of plant in the garden. She offered the flowers to Lea. « Give it to the Raincatcher. I heard she quite likes roses and lilies. Maybe she’ll still want to deal with you. And make sure to bring Roxas here once he’s back, I’ll have a word with him,» and with that, she resumed her work at the archway, cutting the dead leaves and the bad roots.

Lea walked briskly forward, decided to not pester her any longer, the Attendants following right behind, shooting each other nervous looks.

« Yeah, sometimes Kairi can be...» he searched for the right word.

« Scary?» Kora tried.

« Terrifyingly angry?» Leni added.

Lea huffed a laugh. « Yeah. Something like that. But she’s a sweetheart, she’s the reason our garden is so beautiful. She just doesn’t like when someone fails to see her and her sister’s efforts. And Roxas can be rather disrespectful sometimes.»

_But after all, that’s his nature, _Sun found himself thinking.

Windriser was that kind of fae: a trickster for sure, but unable to do any kind of actual wrong, quite different from the rest of his kin. Roxas also had that kind of power that made him wild and reckless and ready to go if someone challenged him. He was the wind, no matter how many thousands of years they shared together and Lea had tried for many, many existences to tame him – or at least to make him understand another way of living, more grounded. If Roxas had always been wild, Lea had just been foolish to have that way of thinking. At some point, he just gave up entirely.

Lea also knew that was kind of his fault: Windriser wasn’t made for staying that many days inside a castle, being the voice of the king while he was sleeping. He knew that but Windriser was also the only person he could entrust this – not even the Master of Star could take his place: it wasn’t their task in the first place, they wouldn’t accept it anyway.

What woke him up from his thoughts was the sound of running water, the splash of the fountains. He turned to the left and there it was. The fountain was huge, made of white marble. The three basins on the ground had water poured in by a superior and far larger basin. Above it, stood a statue of a young woman leaning slightly forward and holding onto a large vase where water was rushing out; her long hair hid her face from the rest of the world and onto the surface were growing small white flowers, their roots wrapping around the waist, the arms, the wrists.

Sun jumped onto one of the bench around the fountain and dropped in a cross-legged position, putting a hand under his chin. He put the rose down next to him. « This will take a while. Why don’t you go and enjoy the party outside?»

Kora was the first to speak. « Can we?»

« Yeah, no reason to stay here with me, I will deal with her myself. Go have fun. And don’t drink, you’re way too young to drink wine.»

« Can we bring you something?»

Sun laughed. « Don’t worry, it will take days for the celebration to die out, I’ll have plenty of time to stuff my face with lemon tarts. You go, shoo,» and made a hasty movement with his hand, urging them to go away. They did as they were told, basically rushing back to the castle the way they just walked.

Lea didn’t know how much time it passed. He jumped onto all the benches, walking up and down on them, walked around the fountain a couple of times. Then he dipped his feet inside and walked around, splashing water around before getting out, staining himself with the soil. He wondered briefly about the many things he still had to solve before getting bored with himself and started chasing other thoughts; like from what kind of plantation came that red wine he drank before leaving or if someone could get their hands on the recipe of that amazing meat pie he got the chance to taste before the plate went to somebody else. Or what he could say to his Windriser when he got back: Lea knew he would absolutely get the scolding of the century after this whole mess was sorted out.

Then it happened.

It came as a light splash at first. Lea turned his gaze just when he heard the splash a second time, coming from one of the lower basins. He jumped down from the stone bench, grabbing the rose before inching closer to the fountain. And then he waited.

It came as wave, a dancing water form that stood there in front of Lea for ages before actually dropping inside the basin, the force of it sending water everywhere. Lea tried not to make a face when part of the water ended onto his clothes: he instantly knew that was made on purpose to rile him up, he just knew.

And he became even more sure when Lea raised his gaze and met the Raincatcher’s mischievous eyes. Her blue hair seemed to move like water around her, almost lucid like the ocean’s surface under the sun. The dress she wore looked like a second skin on her: she was still as pretty as he remembered.

« First Eye,» and the woman bowed her head briefly, like she was in a hurry to get this matter over soon. Lea felt the same.

« Raincatcher Aqua. Glad you could meet me.»

« Do I have any other choice, First Eye? Thousand of years have passed and your son still acts the same as he did at the beginning of time.» Lea could see her anger even if her voice was steady and clear: she wasn’t smiling and her mouth formed a thin line. « Reckless, wild, untamed. Even so bold to rescind our deal, the roots of your Balance.»

« But you understand his nature. You’re as wild as him.»

« And yet not as foolish.»

Lea offered her the rose in his hand. « Com’on, Aqua. I’m sure we can find a way to solve this diatribe of ours.»

Aqua took the rose he was offering. She looked at it for a moment, before ripping the rose from the stem. When she opened her mouth, Lea was sure it took almost half of her face: she swallowed the rose whole and Lea had just a glimpse of her sharp teeth, a row of white knives that seemed to go all the way down her throat. She didn’t even munch on the flower.

When she swallowed the flower down, Aqua raised her eyes on Sun, the shadow of a smile on her lips. « I’m listening.»

« Windriser has no power over the Balance. This should be clear enough.»

« That is true, and while his words have no real power over our deal, that’s still a smirch on my clan’s pride. Being treated like that after everything I have done for your kingdom… it’s not a nice colour on you.»

« That is why I called you. I’m offering twice the libations expressed in our deal for the rest of the month: one-tenth from the crops of _every_ province in the kingdom. Enough to heal your wounded pride and enough to eat for your clan in its entirety.»

« Make it the whole season.»

Lea shook his head. « This is not negotiable, Raincatcher Aqua. I won’t let my people ration food, wondering if they can get to the end of the winter because of your greed. What I’m giving you is way more than any kind of offering your people will ever see from any other sovereign. Don’t push your luck, especially with me.»

Aqua stood still and for a moment Lea thought she would challenge him on the spot.

But she didn’t.

After a few seconds of pondering, she showed a smile and bowed briefly her head. Sun did the same, earring clinking together at the leaning of his head. Aqua was a trickster but she was no fool – contrary to Roxas, she knew to pick her battles. Raincatcher needed the deal for her kin to prosper and Sun needed her help for the same reasons. In the end, they both knew better.

« I want an apology from your son,» she said, reaching for the handle of the huge, white fan strapped at her back.

« You will have it as soon as he comes back. He’ll respond to many for his actions.»

Aqua nodded. She rolled the fan between her hands, focusing her attention to something that wasn’t Sun’s eyes. « I know how he is. I deal with his cousin all the time.» Aqua was trying to connect with him, something Lea quite appreciated because that meant that their relationship still hasn’t cracked luckily. It was dumb luck if they got the chance to deal with Aqua: had it been with anyone else of her clan, maybe things would have gone differently.

Sun raised his eyes to the sky. « I know. I met him.»

« You’re lucky it’s Roxas you’re dealing with. He’s wild but he’s got a gentle soul. I know what he said was the result of weeks of caging.»

« You provoked him.»

Aqua stared at him for a long while. Then, she opened the fan on her side: it was as big as she was. « But you understand my nature. I’m as wild as him». At first she just grinned at him, a row of knives shining in the light. And then, as to make her point clear, she _winked_.

Aqua opened her fan fully, making a whole round in front of her. One moment she was there hiding behind the white paper and then one moment later the fan closed on itself and dropped into the water with a splash, the Raincatcher gone before his very eyes.

When Lea leant forward to see where the fan fell, there was nothing but his reflection staring right back at him.

*

Sun met Asidera halfway through the garden. They were standing there in the yellow field, staring at the ocean, tattooed hands behind their back. Lea approached them, standing at their side. The ocean was a startling blue that day: the light on the surface looked like tiny diamonds ready to be caught in the sailor’s nests. He breathed out, wondering briefly if somewhere Windriser was staring at the same deep blue, kilometres and continents away.

« Moon had woken up,» said Asidera after a while. They resumed their walk back toward the palace once again, their steps slow and steady onto the soil.

« You told me,» sighed Lea.

« After the meeting with the Rays, you should contact him, you have much to discuss.»

Sun listened as much as he could, but his brain started to disconnect pretty soon, ears picking up the singing outside, the shrills of the kids. Sometimes he would nod absently, trying to look as convincing as possible so Asidera wouldn’t ask him to repeat what they just said – something they would do sometimes to test him and then proceeding to hit him with the closest object they could find.

He retreated back into his rooms when Asidera decided to stop pestering him, going back to the celebration. Lea wanted some times alone – even though he was never actually alone.

Sun walked toward the balcony. Once there, he jumped onto the banister and rested his chin onto the palm of his hand, staring right in front of him. At everything and at nothing. Listening to the rejoice in the streets and the deep silence of his room.

_Still the same, uh. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from glitter and gold // barns courtney


	4. it's a quiet and starry place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "oh yeah i will publish the chapter next tuesday" i said three weeks ago, you know, like a liar.  
this chapter was a pain in the ass to write and i hate it so much but i wrote it from scratch t w i c e and i'm too tired to think about it a minute longer. also, i hate editing.  
anyway, updates should actually be every tuesday, but this month is a bit chaotic because of a couple of personal things, but i hope to keep a pretty clean schedule after this hellish month. i hope.  
anyway enjoy this blurb i hope y'all good

The truth was: travelling by sea was fun until everyone got annoyed with each other’s close presence. At that point, the distant sight of land would instantly throw the ship on a frenzy and docking was nothing short than an actual miracle happening in front of their very eyes. The audible sigh of relief when they threw the anchor was that little detail that made Sora smile instantly.

He jumped down the rail, landing onto the dock.

« Not going to help?»

Sora looked up: a silver-haired boy was leaning over the rail, looking down at him with one eyebrow raised as to ask what the hell was he thinking to do now. The silver loop hanging from his ear was catching the light rather nicely, glinting in the pale sun.

Sora buried his hands in the pockets of his coat, shifting his weight from one leg to another. « I wanted to be the first one to touch the ground?» He just couldn’t sell his lies as well as he did with his goods. His commodore was looking down at him with the shadow of a smile on his lips, one that spoke volume about how much he was buying it.

« Sure, like you did last time, leaving your whole crew to do the heavy job while you were in town spending all your money on food?»

« Hey, I shared!» And it was true, Sora actually shared, it wasn’t his fault if Riku hadn’t got the chance to grab a piece before anyone else: on the ship, no rules over food, survival was the only outcome. He pointed a finger at him, « you just weren’t fast enough! That’s on you!»

« You literally shared with everybody and I was the last one!»

« There was a queue to respect.»

« A queue? Sylvia literally came down from the ropes and stole a piece, Morian came from the pantry and literally threw himself onto that croquette, there was no queue!»

Sora spun around, already walking down the end of the dock. « You remember it all wrong.»

He heard Riku letting out a frustrated sound behind him,

At the end of this little discussion – similar every time, the others didn’t even mind anymore at that point – the crew actually dealt with the heavy cargo, loading the carts with barrels full of mead and other spirits from the Islands and chests filled with the satin and the silk Sora knew the Master of Trades would’ve appreciated. The people would certainly and that was good enough for Sora. As long as they got paid for their services, it didn’t matter by whom and how those goodies were used.

The loading didn’t take that much time, but it got Sora many angry looks. At least one of the members actually booed at him and threw the peel of an orange. Riku looked at him like he actually deserved it: not that he was wrong, but he hated his partner was showing his disappointment so plainly. He gave him a pat on the shoulder before walking past him to meet the two guards, hand already extended toward the various parchments.

Sora was just too focused on staring at the vast green field opening before his very eyes, the walls of the town not that far from the dock always so imposing and tall, casting long shadows. « Alright, let’s move.»

Their goal wasn’t actually that city: Sun’s kingdom hasn’t been a secret to them for many years and Meridiana was maybe the quietest and most reserved city they’ve ever been under Sun’s jurisdiction. Meridiana was the anomaly in all of that: out of the chaotic buzz of the core city, with its slow and steady rhythm, it was a place of leisure for most people coming from bigger and busier towns. Close to the see and built close to the main river, Meridiana was also known for its proximity to the Veil.

And that was Sora’s destination.

The Veil wasn’t exactly the main city’s attraction – it was, in a certain sense: not because of its architectonic beauty (two giant pillars so tall they seemed to reach for the sky, ancient symbols carved into the stone spiralling all up toward the immense arch); nor because of the two giant statues standing one on each side of the pillars, spears crossing over the glass.

The fascination came from what was hiding _beyond_ it. And that was also the reason of Sora’s whole journey to Sun’s kingdom.

As soon as Sora and the other approached the Veil, the ground started to rumble under their feet. It wasn’t something that took them by surprise at that point – Sylvia was even peeling herself an apple during what seemed like an earthquake, Logaine was idly playing with the chubby mouse resting on his shoulder. They were all waiting for the giants _to kneel down_.

For those weren’t simple statues made of stone, but giantess in armour, like they were constantly ready for battle. And the Guardians of the Veil were actually always ready for any kind of strife to happen.

« I’m Sora. This is my crew. We’re merchants from the Destiny Islands and we have business on the other side,» cried out the captain of the ship.

« Merchants,» said one of the giants, the one with a sun emblazed on the helmet she was wearing on her head. When she finally knelt down – the ground finally still – she put her hand down with the palm up, « you need the royal deal to pass through the Veil.»

« We got that,» Riku said, raising a parchment in the air, climbing on the palm of her hand. The giantess’ face was so close now Riku could see the empty pupils, the cracks in the stone where plants had started to grow – one of the vines had started to come out of one of her nostrils. She wasn’t actually interested in the words of the parchment as much as the symbol of the sun and the moon emblazed on it, a golden, shiny thing close to a silver crest right at the end of the paper.

The giantess nodded once, before putting Riku down and raising herself once again.

« Your passage is granted.»

No matter how many times they watched this same exact scene over and over again, it was still breath taking as the first time. The moment the statues took their spears and slammed the end of it down, the glass seemed to liquefy, like molten silver crashing down onto the ground. But no liquid actually came to touch the earth. And when the rumble was over, before their very eyes, stood a field.

And above the dark grass, a starry night.

*

Before walking to the other side, Sora and the whole crew started to wrap themselves around heavier clothes: scarves, huge and heavy capes thrown around the shoulders, anything that could shield them from the sheer cold that was waiting on the other side. Because when someone passes through the Veil, the drastic change in temperatures was the first thing to be aware of when planning a journey.

The travel to the other side was prerogative of a small circle of a privileged elite: mostly well paying tourists coming from the highest levels of aristocracy or merchants like Sora, whose trading relationship with both kingdoms went long way back – his grandpa, blessed his soul, always went around the Islands saying that he got so lucky (or unlucky, that was still up to debate) to get there the same day of Moon’s Turning. Every time someone wanted to visit the other side, the giants requested a parchment signed by both the sovereigns. No deal, no journey.

When they stepped over the boundaries, Sora felt the change of temperature piercing his skin and reaching his bones, even with all those scarves around him. He hugged himself closer, Riku slightly shivering next to him.

« How many years will have to pass before I get used to this weather?» Logain said behind them, the chubby mouse now hiding between one of the many drapes of his scarf. The man was standing beside one cart, fixing the cover thrown over the caskets. The other member of the crew seemed almost equally displeased with the cold.

« The quicker we deal with this, the sooner we can leave,» Riku said, leading the way toward the city.

Io was what someone might have considered the capital of the reign: bustling with energy, streets always buzzing with the voices of people and, watching over this sparkling city, there was the castle. Sun’s palace was known to be, according to someone, excessively open, his windows so big they almost took up entire walls, lights constantly pouring in. But Moon’s palace seemed like a fortress, towers sharp and tall and unreachable roofs, contrary to Sun’s; no huge windows, no open walls.

If Sun’s palace spoke of openness, Moon’s seemed inaccessible but a small elite.

It spoke of power, command. Of closure.

The houses built around the castle were stark white: Sora always thought if the light of the moon hit at the right spot, the walls almost seemed to sparkle, like stardust was sprayed all over the walls, onto the streets. Moon’s kingdom has that kind of beauty that makes you want to cry and touch every houses you pass by, thinking that maybe some of that stardust might remain on your fingertips, the only worthy gift you might want to come back home with.

Sora didn’t exactly expect a fanfare when they arrived in the city, but neither did they expect that grave silence that welcomed them: it was the kind of atmosphere you might expect at a wedding or a funeral (“definitely funeral”, according to Riku, still searching with his eyes any form of life except for the occasional, lonely cat roaming the streets). They found two royal guards waiting for them next to their post, wearing heavy clothes and with two curved daggers strapped at their side.

“Waiting” wasn’t exactly the right word: they were looking everywhere but them, their back turned toward the crew and their heads seemingly raised toward the castle. They waited for them to turn as not to disturb whatever were doing in that moment – maybe meditation? They waited for one full minute before Sylvia got sick to wait.

« _Ohi!_» She yelled. The guards basically jumped onto their spots, turning around with their hands already on the hand of the daggers. When they saw them, the older guard let out a sigh, dropping his hand to the side.

« It’s you, captain Sora.»

« Were you expecting visitors?» Sora asked, taking the papers from Riku and giving them to the older guard – looking as stern as usual, that man was a constant presence during his visits to Moon’s kingdom. His beard had grown even thicker since the last time they saw each other. The stern look didn’t leave him when he inspected the papers and saw everything (unsurprisingly) in order. « Why is it just you two? Something happened?» Sora asked, taking back the parchment.

« Something happened?» laughed the boy, sounding incredulous, like Sora had just said the most hilarious and stupid thing he had ever heard and couldn’t wait to go home and tell everybody. « It’s just the most important day of our lives, no biggie.»

Riku and Sora exchanged a look, even more confused than before. Trading matters were sure important; after all, they were all merchants, they couldn’t exactly say their job wasn’t an important part of their lives, considering it was basically their living… but most important day? Just because of a couple of things they brought and that Moon in person asked to deliver? That was another kind of devotion Sora had never witnessed.

« Wow, I didn’t know you were this excited about trade day!» Sora said, a big smile on his lips.

He didn’t think it was possible for the older guard to get even more stern and serious and yet, the moment Sora talked, his expression became sour and for a moment he closed his eyes, the five stages of grief passing over – it seemed like at some point the process stopped halfway between “anger” and “depression” judging from his disappointed look.

Riku leant sideway to reach his ear. « Sora, I don’t think they were exactly waiting for us.»

The young guard was _kind of_ smiling at him – that kind of nervous smile that struggles to stay on and that looks more like a grimace than an actual show of happiness. The older man decided to ignore him entirely and going to the cart with the caskets, Sylvia and Morian taking off the cover. Sora didn’t need to turn around: he could actually _feel_ the rest of his crew watching him with that kind of look that spoke of pity.

Riku was trying to hide his grin behind his bulky scarf – and making a poor job out of it, actually.

« Why the gloomy mood then?» asked Logaine from behind. Sora was basically begging to focus on something else but on the dumb thing that just came out of his mouth.

« It’s not gloomy, we’re just waiting,» said the young man, nodding his head toward the castle, « Moon is rising.»

*

Sora thought his grandpa had the best experience out of his all merchant family – that is, if Moon’s turning actually had been the truth. Turns out Sora and his crew were in for the treat of the century. The younger guard – Tric, as they came to know – was about to pounce on the older one when he gave him permission to go to the ceremony while he took care of everything with Logaine and the twins Niki and Nora. The older guard “already seen one when he was very young and found it a bore” as he recalled and Logaine wanted to see how many silver coins could steal from the old man at their usual game. On the other hand, the two sisters were more interested in witnessing his defeat.

And so they went.

« You’re so lucky, not many foreigners get to witness the ceremony,» said Tric, his steps so quick Sora and the others were struggling to keep up. They were passing by abandoned stands in an empty market, the silence in the streets so hollow the place felt eerie, like what they’re witnessing was the aftermath of an apocalypse and those were the ruins they had left behind. « I think they’re all still waiting for them to pass,» he added, steps becoming frantic, almost running toward the clump of people coming ahead.

« They’re coming into the streets?» Sora asked, running behind him.

« Of course! They come down the street so they could see us for the first time,» said Tric, his voice lowering each step he took toward the crowd. From they were standing, it was impossible to get a clear vision of the main street, but if Sora could sneak just a bit forward, he could get a glimpse of what was happening among the gaps. « And also the last,» added the guard.

« The last? Are you going to carve their eyes out?» Sylvia asked, in that tone of voice that betrayed a hint of curious disgust.

Tric spun around. « Do you think of us as savages? We’re a pacific people now,» Riku made a face at that particular now, but didn’t say anything and let the young man talk, « he can’t see us when—» and the words died in his mouth when he heard a loud bustle coming from the crowd. Tric went down almost instantly.

Sora had the time to raise his head for just a second.

Back in his native home, Riku and Sora had heard many stories about girls waiting for a knight in shiny armour to come and save them from whatever danger they might have been. They heard those stories many times and in many different ways, but the knight was always a fixed point and was always a man.

But the knight in front of him was a girl with short, black hair and the armour was indeed shiny: a stark white, almost a product of the stars. She was marching with her back straight, almost taunt like pulled by an invisible thread and her fingers were curled around the hilt of the sword strapped at her side. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Until he actually did.

Tric basically tackled him to the ground, forcing him to bow on one knee.

« Do you have a death wish?»

« What?» Sora was coming down from whatever plane of existence that vision sent him.

Tric seemed even more confused than he was. « I asked you if you have a death wish,» he angrily whispered, « you can’t look at them!»

« But I’ve already seen her,» said Sora, trying to force his head up and feeling Riku’s hand forcing him to stay down and stare at the cobbles under his feet. « Is she—?»

« No, she’s their daughter, Moon always closes the procession,» said Tric, keeping his head down and taking off his coat and scarf and anything that until that moment had kept him warm. The rustling of clothes and the marching of the steps in the main street were the only sounds filling the heavy silence.

« Why— why did you—?» Sora asked, looking at this scrawny boy with nothing but light clothes on, already shivering in the cold air. When Riku offered him his scarf to protect himself, he refused it, shaking his head.

« It’s part of the ceremony. Just wait,» and before falling into silence, he watched Sora one last time, « with your head down.»

Sora was starting to understand what the older guard meant with calling the ceremony a bore after hours of watching the cobbles – maybe minutes have passed, but it felt more like hours, his knee had started to ache and he wanted nothing more than to stretch his back, no matter if he was risking the capital sentence by just raising his eyes. Riku, next to him, seemed even more restless, constantly rolling his shoulders, tapping his fingers against the knee.

The silence grew impossibly louder, for a moment Sora feared his breathing could be heard for all the streets. Tric seemed to bow his head even more, one hand coming to cover his mouth, like even he was afraid to make his breath audible to everyone.

The temptation to raise his head when he heard the first soft cling in front of him was so strong Sora had to bury one hand in his hair, forcing himself to stay down even when curiosity started to eat him alive. It was a constant clinging, it reminded him of the bells back at Destiny Islands, the ones that the bakery sounded at five in the morning, when the smell of fresh bread was just starting spreading along the streets, or the sounds church men made every time they walked down the streets, this soft sound coming from the tiny bells tied to their waists.

When there was a ceremony in his town people usually whispered, there was a constant buzz like he was standing in the middle of a beehive, much more like it if it was a celebration in the middle of the street. But this silence was almost deafening, it was tempting to just stand up and let out a shriek just to break it, to see everyone’s reaction. To see the Moon.

It came as a surprise the sound of heavy door closing. Finally, everyone around him started to get up and just talk – it felt much like a creature coming up to the surface to breathe. Every person had shred themselves of their heavy clothes and they were standing there in the cold with just their simple clothes and their tunics. They didn’t seem to mind the cold.

Sora looked around for the source of sound automatically and found it at the end of the street: a huge building with giant, blue windows, the light of the moon making the glass glint like molten silver.

Sylvia was the first one to speak when they were all up.

« What, pray tell, the fuck?»

*

The explanation came once again from Tric: he was still shivering but, as anyone else, he seemed the cold was just another flimsy detail like any other and he could tune it out if he could.

« That is the House of the Remembrance. Moon’s memories of their past life are kept there.»

« And exactly… what do they do inside?» Sora asked.

« Nobody knows for certain, only their daughter is allowed inside the building. Some legends say that she reads them a book the scholar have kept about their whole past life, telling them about their victories and their people and important facts they might not remember. Others say she sings to them. We just know they regain their memories inside before coming out.»

« There’s more to the ceremony?» Morian asked, tilting his head toward the House of Remembrance, his huge black door still closed to the world. There were four people standing in front of his doors and nobody looked like a guard: Sora recognised the Master of Trades almost instantly, but he couldn’t recognise the other two people aligned beside him. Another figure was dressed fairly different, but still didn’t strike him as a guard – even though his broad shoulders and the rigidity in his posture surely had got many people mistaken him for a member of the militia.

Tric nodded. « In a couple of hours he’s gonna come out.»

The crowd started to chat pretty soon, sitting down and passing each other hot drinks to keep themselves warm – their clothes still remained on the ground, untouched and unused. An old woman even approached the group to give them a mug of a steamy, red liquid. It didn’t look, nor it smelled like wine. When Sora took a sip of it, he almost choked on the strength of the spirit – it faintly tasted like pomegranate, but the alcohol covered any kind of flavour, burning the tip of his tongue and his throat. Tric gulped down most of it, making a face at it when passing the mug back to the woman.

Sometimes one person would turn around to ask if everything was alright and if they needed more of Emberate – considering he was offering a flask, Sora presumed he was talking about the liquid he just tried not to choke on. They all shook head, except for Sylvia, who downed a gulp like it was water and giving the flask back to the man. Tric was looking at her with a dreamy expression.

Sora had no idea how much time passed, but enough for Sylvia to start playing around with her daggers and enough for Riku to lean against Sora and catch a nap. On the other hand, Sora was too intent in reconsidering all the things they just witnessed – experienced was a better term, considering they didn’t actually see anything except for the cobbles on the ground.

« My father used to tell me stories,» said Sora after a while, gaining Tric’s attention back at him, « about a veiled ruler who never let anyone see him.»

The young guard showed a smile at him. « Your father spoke the truth. Once they’re out of the House of the Remembrance, Moon will always wear a veil over his face until the last of his nights.»

« Isn’t that a bit… impractical?» asked Sylvia, crossing her arms over her chest, « like… why?»

« You’ve been doing business with him for a long time, you’ve never noticed?» Tric asked: he looked like he was having a hard time connecting the dots.

« Because we don’t actually do business with him in person,» explained Riku back to him, rising from his quick nap and straightening his back, « usually, we deal with the Master of Trades at the post and then we leave, there’s no reason for us to stay.»

« And why should we anyway? It’s cold as fuck here,» commented Morian, rubbing his hands up and down his arms as to reiterate the fact.

« Islanders,» added Sora and Riku at the same time, exchanging a quick laugh between the two of them before refocusing again on Tric.

« They cover themselves to protect us. They say that if you look at them, you go blind,» Tric said, as a way to respond to Sylvia’s questions. He had a grave expression on his face, like what he was telling had fuelled his nightmares when he was really young and now it was his time to tell the stories to someone else. « Others say they have thousands of eyes that see right through your soul and if they find you guilty of the lightest sin, they open their huge mouth and eats you whole and the only one who can stand this awful sight is their daughter. She roams the castle with her sword at her side because they might attack her and feed on her flesh when she’s not looking.»

« No offence, but this is the stuff of nightmares. You serve this kind of monster?»

« They gave us the light to see and protect us from the horrors that hide into the night. Even if they’re a monster and have no face or thousands of them and eats humans and fae alike, what does it matter? We live and prosper because of them. Why shouldn’t I feel honour to serve them?»

Tric talked like it was all a matter of fact. As long as the ruler protected them from the terrors hiding in the night, it didn’t matter their face. Sora found the whole thing unnerving: so many people who had never even seen a glimpse of their sovereign in fear of stumbling upon a nightmare and a sovereign who was always forced to hide because maybe they were one of those horrors they worked hard to banish from the kingdom.

« I don’t know, maybe because they’re horrible?»

Tric looked like he was about to reprimand when the doors of the building opened, the crowd falling fast silent at the sound. The first one to come out was the girl in the white armour. She looked at the crowd with an unreadable expression. What struck Sora the most was how tiny she was: fierce for sure, but as much splendid that armour was, she still looked petite in it. She couldn’t be more than sixteen-seventeen.

Sora didn’t exactly expect that booming voice when she spoke.

« People of Io,» she said, « I have a father.»

At that, the people started to tap their feet, a rhythm slow, but steady that grew in volume the more she talked.

« My guard starts now till the end of my time. I will be the eyes that guide him through the night, the sword that banish the horrors hiding in darkness, your shield in the darkest hour. I will be steady, I will be brave, I will be the Moonlight. Do not be afraid; for the coldest night is over.»

The stomping ceased.

Sora was so focused on her that Riku had to grab him by the shoulder to actually notice: the veiled figure walking behind her. Sora was a merchant: he had seen so many fabrics over his journey sometimes he would forget the names of some of them or even their existences. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to forget the cape that trailed behind Moon: a long, piece of fabric that was so splendid Sora couldn’t even begin to conceive the value of one single corner of it. It was a dark blue and it looked like someone had just picked a few of the brightest stars and weaved them directly on the fabric. He had a long heavy dark dress, with a high collar that ended in a white, soft fur; the hems of his large ended in silver threads – there were designs on it that Sora couldn’t pick up from that distance.

Sora couldn’t tell if that huge halo behind him – a silver piece with thin lines expanding toward the outside – was attached directly to the cape or was directly part of the high collar. Ironically, what really struck Sora wasn’t that piece: what really made Moon seem like a deity walking among mortals was that veil. It covered pretty much everything and the whole piece was similar to a crown, circling around his blue hair and ending in a crescent moon right in the middle.

The crowd started going wild all at once – and yet, _nobody_ moved from their places. When Moon started walking, the girl guided him through the crowd slowly, eyes set on the castle, a hand curled around his sword. Sora couldn’t actually understand what the crowd was saying, but everyone started raising their coats, their robes, everything that might have kept them warm. At that point, with all those arms raised, it was impossible to follow what was happening.

« What’s happening?» Riku yelled over the cries. Tric too had his arm raised high, his fist closed tight around his cape.

He didn’t respond. And the crowd didn’t stop screaming until Moon arrived at the end of the street and closed the doors of his castles behind him. And even then, it took a while for the cries to die out. When the people started to move and actually leave the streets, Tric put on his cape once again: he let out a relieved sigh when he draped it around the shoulders.

« We have to give him our warmest clothes when he passes. As a thank you gift for everything he will do for us and to shield him from the cold of his first night. It’s part of the ceremony.»

« This only confirms my idea of your ruler being a horrible person,» commented Sylvia, crossing her arms.

« He’s not,» Tric responded, his voice assuming a hard edge, « giving him clothes is part of the ceremony, it’s always been like this since the beginning of time. But it doesn’t matter how many times you ask him to accept your clothes: he will not.»

« What?»

« He doesn’t take them. We have to offer him our capes and scarves, but we know he won’t accept them. Because he doesn’t want us to be cold.»

Sora didn’t say a word. Tric had a devotion in his eyes that couldn’t be put down in words and maybe that was why it seemed so hard for them to truly understand what he meant. The solemnity of all made him feel uneasy, but then again, he had never witness so much beauty and sadness all at once. And then there was the whole mystery around his face. He found himself wondering what that veil was hiding behind.

« And what about that little girl? All that talk about sword and shield… she’s way too young.»

Tric smiled, eyeing the figures approaching before returning his eyes to Sylvia. « Don’t let her appearance deceive you. There’s a valid reason if Xion is the sword of the kingdom. Up north, they gave her a pretty dark title.»

« What do they call her?» Riku asked.

Tric smiled: Sora had seen many trickster fae smile in the same, exact way. « _Hearteater_.»

The two men were the same ones Sora eyed while they were waiting for Moon to come out of the House of Remembrance. One was the Master of Trades, the same who welcomed them at the post every time they travelled to Io. The other one wasn’t dressed as a Master and his clothes didn’t seem particularly heavy, like the cold didn’t bother him quite that much. He was smiling, but didn’t move his arm to welcome them.

« Captain Sora, this is a surprise. Did you enjoy the ceremony? Not many are so lucky to see Moon’s rising.»

The Master of Trades – an old man with a long bear and kind eyes, always with a soft smile and gentle words on his lips – welcomed Sora by wrapping his arm around his, grip going tight for a moment before letting go. He did the same with the others, saying their names every time he approached them.

« It was… a particular event,» Sora tried to be as convincing as possible, but the man next to the Master of Trades let out a soft chuckle before returning serious. He didn’t seem to buy the lie.

« It might have looked absurd to you all,» the man said, looking over at Sylvia, like he could eye right away who had been the most sceptical of the group. « I’m Terra. I’m what everyone calls Master of Land.»

« Why, you’re not?» Sora asked, genuinely confused by that statement. Indeed, he wasn’t wearing Master’s clothes, nor the necklace to be recognized – Rize, beside him, was wearing the one with a silver coin at the end of it.

« I’m fae. Moon struck a deal with me a long time ago and although I’ve never received the Master’s teachings, everyone calls me as such.»

_That_ was a novelty: Sora did know only one ruler who surrounded himself with fae and that was Sun, who had tamed at least four of them. Sora had met just one, beside Roxas: it was the girl with the red hair and the dirty baggy pants. Roxas seemed to talk from experience when he told him not to trust her sweet smile: Kairi had tried to chop his head off with her pincers at some point. _And at least once_, Roxas had told him.

But Sora didn’t know Moon had a fae in his court, especially not a stable one that practically took the role of a Master.

He didn’t dwell further on the matter: they all decided to go back to the post where Logaine and the other were waiting for their return. Apparently, Logaine had lost a fortune at the game and the twins were still teasing him about it. The guard’s stern expression gave out to a more pleased grin spreading across his face, a new, small satchel tied to his side, next to the dagger.

Rize, the Master of Trades, talked to them about the products and then, after the payment, they took the carts and went back to the main street of Io, toward the castle. Sora and the rest of the crew remained there.

« We should go,» Riku told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

« Yeah, we’re freezing!» The twins said, basically sprinting toward the Veil in the distance. They weren’t wrong, they had stayed way too long than usual. They all rushed toward the Veil and when they were close, Sora turned once again to look at the castle.

The thought of that veiled king, alone with his only daughter in such a huge castle arrived unexpectedly, much like a punch to the stomach. Everyone but Riku had already left. They stayed side by side on that open field, the stars glinting dimly above them.

When the first snowflake hit the ground, Sora and Riku had already passed through the Veil.

*

When Moon received the news, nine days had already passed.

« Sun is awake,» Xion told him in the starry field, a new born star resting between her hands before it finally took off, plunging itself into the darkness, up and up until it became a distant spot in the night sky.

The stars around them and above their heads remained silent as usual.

_It is still the same. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "the moon song" // brittin lane & mitchel morse


	5. open my mouth, all the gems falling out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is not edited, i'll fix any kind of mistake in the morning - sorry about that, my cute girlfriend is sleeping next to me because she has to wake up really early tomorrow and the light of the computer is annoying i love her so much.  
anyway, sorry again and thank you for your patience! i promise we're getting in the middle of the plot i swear (i hope?)  
thank you for reading and for your feedback! y'all very kind and precious

The ending of the celebrations was marked by a long song that Sun could hear all the way from his balcony: a melancholic melody that rose high and put everything Sun was doing on hold, just to sit there and listen, nibbling at the peach he had left on the plate for quite a while. There were papers everywhere around him, reports that he had to sign, permissions and whatnot. Asidera had tried to sum everything in few words but Lea had started to get bored rather soon – hence, the precise slap on the nape of his neck followed by Asidera’s scorching words, « First Eye, as I stated multiple times, I hate to repeat myself.»

The song came at the right time, considering the words of the contract had started to get all fuzzy after one hour of constant reading. He couldn’t get the exact words, but the melody sounded so sad and hopeful at the same time. He remained to listen for a while, playing idly with the pen in his fingers.

The thing about celebrations was its constant repeating itself. It gave him a sense of stability, but it also put a strain on him, like time was passing for everyone but him, not matter how many times he changed, how many new faces he used. He didn’t mind the celebrations per se, because it was his people’s way to say they loved him and they were happy to see him. And yet, there was something in those big feasts that brought him inevitably down. He couldn’t understand what it was, but it pulled on his heartstrings.

The knock on the door cut his train of thoughts abruptly.

« Lea,» came Leni’s voice from the doors, « the Rays are here.»

Lea got up quickly from where he was sitting, recollecting the papers and the parchments all around him in a disordered stack. He smiled instantly when he saw Leni’s observing avidly the wardrobe Lea had left open when looking for a veil to put around his shoulders. She returned her eyes to him, that “I’m looking kind of aloof like I just didn’t do something Asidera would’ve disapproved of” kind of look. She was wearing a red dress with long open sleeves, a sun pin locked on the shoulder straps. Sun walked past her and when he did, he couldn’t help but notice the tiny orange flowers sprouting between the gaps of her braid.

« The Master of Star is already waiting for you,» she said, one step behind him.

« Why am I not surprised?» Lea commented, walking down the stairs with Leni fast behind, her steps way more silent that Lea’s, considering how many trinkets he had around his ankles and wrists. Once he reached the room, he fixed his clothes one last time – straightening his long gilet, fixing the wrinkles on his baggy pants and adjusting the light veil around his shoulders. He shot a look to Leni: she nodded quickly and Sun actually didn’t know if she actually meant it or she just wanted to get it over with, so Asidera wouldn’t scold her for the whole sixty second of delay. Either way, Sun put his hand on the handles and opened the doors, a smile already blooming on his lips.

The instant the doors opened, twelve figures rose on their feet.

« First Eye.»

Asidera was standing next to the end of the low table: they looked like they had been waiting for him for a long time, but Lea was sure the Rays had just gotten to the room, considering the cups in front of them were still fuming and none of them had even tried to taste the liquid. He quickly walked toward Asidera, everybody already sitting down once again. Lea couldn’t help but feeling their eyes on him, studying every movement of his, the way his clothes moved when he bent down and sat on the cushion. And especially, he couldn’t help but noticing how everyone’s eyes were fixed on the hair.

« I was told blond wasn’t my colour,» Lea said, letting Leni fixing the tails of his long gilet, carefully placing them on the ground in the most graceful way she could manage under the hard scrutiny of Asidera. At that comment, everyone in the room let out a chuckle, focusing their attention on something else entirely – the way Asidera stood tall, Leni’s long, black hair, the red petals slowly falling from the net on the ceiling, filling the room with a sweet scent.

The Rays went a long way back, as much as his Masters could go. Another fundamental part of the Balance, as Leni told him when he tried to interrogate her about the matter two days earlier. And she was right as usual: the Rays were the roots of a stable relationship between Sun and his whole, massive kingdom. It was divided in twelve provinces and every province was controlled by what have been referred many times over as his deputy – a Ray.

« A Ray has a circle of Masters as well to support him in his work, although far smaller than the one we have here in the capital,» he recalled Leni’s words, while they were walking down the halls of his castle, passing by the crystal dome of the east wing. « Each Ray gets elected by a vote from the people every five years and has assigned one Master of Land, one Master of Trades and one High Architect. His status can get revoked in case of negligence or treason. Their Masters have to report to their respective superiors in the capital every month, but the Rays have to report to you personally every five months, even every day in special cases, such as spreading of sudden disease to people or crops and catastrophe.»

Sun couldn’t help but smile when he remembered the big smile she gave him when he told her how prepared she was. And Leni was actually really well prepared, she could even remember the whole catastrophic scenarios she read about – the love for the horrid that humans showed never failed to make him smile.

« We’re glad to see you well, First Eye,» said a man from his right. Judging from the three drops of gold he had on his cheeks, Lea guessed he was from the third province – Agne. Sun barely remembered the Ray from Agne, but he knew they had been far more different than the man he was looking at: he was wearing the colours of his city – a pleated dark red dress coming down straight from the circle around his neck, the gold of the folds more vivid and bright on his dark skin. Sun couldn’t help but notice his naked broad shoulders, covered in a thin layer of sweat – the third province was the one most north from there and even though it was a warm city, it wasn’t as warm as the capital.

« First Eye, this is Oryen from the third province,» said Asidera, sitting right beside him, « he’s got elected during your Long Sleep.»

« I hope to serve you well, First Eye,» replied Oryen, bowing his head briefly before setting his amber eyes on Lea once again.

« You will serve me even better if you start calling me Lea,» and the moment the sentence was finished, Asidera elbowed him to his side, hard enough for Lea to lean forward in pain. He shot a look at his Master of Star but they were looking ahead, smiling at the Rays – the kind of smile that promised tempest afterward. Leni was hiding a laugh behind a light cough before returning serious.

« Lea is a fine name,» Oryen said and Sun noticed right away the quick movement of his eyes up and down his chest, like he was trying to find something hiding behind the scarf and the skin. Sun paid it no mind (he knew how young Rays could be in front of him for the first time), focusing on the rest of the room, on the men and the women sitting right in front of him, on each side of the low table.

« Sili,» Lea called, watching a chubby woman with a shock of red hair leaning slightly forward to meet his eyes, « I spoke with the Raincatcher, she found reason once again.»

« With all due respect, First Eye, or Lea or whatever other name you wish me to use, you shouldn’t speak to her as much as you do with your own son.»

Sun tried to hide his exasperated sigh behind the mug, sipping quietly the tea – it was enough hot enough to scorch anybody’s tongue.

He knew Sili would’ve been harder to reason with. Sili was the Ray from Meridiana, the farthest city up north, close to the Veil, and had been able to serve Sun for almost eight years, working through her second mandate and making a marvellous job at it – no wonder then she could speak to Sun like that while everyone tried to focus on something else entirely. The awkward silence seemed even more deafening than Sili’s sheer rage.

Sili was a chubby and vibrant woman, almost as short as Roxas and twice as arrogant and bold – Sun couldn’t possibly forget the time she almost plunged her own province _and other three_ into war to smite down whoever had commented upon her weight and height. Sun still didn’t know how and where that guy ended up.

Lea knew where the conversation might have lead, considering whatever happened between Aqua and Roxas happened in Meridiana. Sili had a soft spot for Roxas, maybe because she saw a glimpse of her own children in him – no matter if Windriser was a thousands-years-old fae in the body of a teenager. And yet, as much as she had always treated him with respect, she was firm and hard in her manners, something Roxas himself found jarring, like he was a child getting scold by their own mother.

« I’ve already had this exact conversation with the Raincatcher—» Sun started to say, before Sili butted in once again.

« But not with me, First Eye,» Sili said, squaring her shoulders, « you know your son doesn’t fare well in closed spaces for long period of times and yet you put him in position of power – the most important position of power there is. A fae like him.»

« Sili, this conversation is stale, we talked about this.»

« And yet I still see you rely on him during your Long Sleep. Some of our elders still remember the time you left him alone: he got tired and just _left_. We had to deal with his cousin for a week, First Eye.»

Sun remembered: the Master of Star was out of their mind when he came back, Sun himself had never seen a darker sky. A boy the age of Roxas, laughing so loud his voice had become a loud shrill in the air, like a siren rejoicing in the ruins of a shipwreck. If Windriser was chaotic by nature, Tempest was disorder incarnated. The Rays and the Master of Star had complained for four hours on end when Sun came back.

« This time nothing happened, but what if the next time your son enrages some superior fae that might not be that merciful? What then?»

« My son is not that foolish and I advise you to weigh well your next words, Sili of Meridiana,» Lea said, raising his eyes toward the woman with the red hair. He could feel his skin prickling just slightly, like there was fire crackling in his bones and the heat was starting to spread.

Sili didn’t look intimidated in the slightest, eyes still set on him while everyone in the room focused their attention on the fine details of the cup in front of them. « I’m not calling your son foolish,» she said, « I’m calling him a hazard to this kingdom, if he keeps pulling these antics he’s so fond of. We all know Asidera would be a good regent if you give them the opportunity.»

Lea remained silent while the other Rays around Sili started tapping their finger on the tiny golden drop on their cheek: they were agreeing with Sili. He waited for the six Rays to stop tapping before taking word.

« You know well Asidera won’t take my place.»

« I didn’t want to be Ray a second time and yet, here I am. Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good: that’s how power works, First Eye.»

Sun scoffed at that. « I’m not gonna sacrifice others’ free will, Sili. That’s not how sacrifices work for me and especially it’s not how I run my kingdom. Roxas will learn how to behave with time.»

« He’s thousand of years old. I think he had quite some time to grow.»

« He’s a late bloomer, then,» sighed Sun. He was already tired out with the conversation: he knew how Roxas could be. He didn’t need a constant reminder. « Anyway, I dealt with the Raincatcher, she will need one-tenth of the production from every province for the next month. Asidera told me Semna had quite a season,» Lea said, turning his eyes toward the woman with the blond braid circling her head.

The woman smiled, bowing her head once. « The Master of Land had never been more proud. And I of her.»

« We’re gonna ask her to deal with the sixth province about that, their crops didn’t fare well this season and they might need some help, especially after the deal with the Raincatcher.»

« We will help our brothers and sisters at the best of our abilities, First Eye.»

Sili still seemed quite disappointed about how the conversation turned out, but she didn’t say anything, content to listen. The discussion went on for a while, Sun’s brain connecting and disconnecting constantly, eyes wandering toward the window, to see the line of the ocean in front of him before Asidera required his attention onto other matters. A red petal fell down, landing on top of his hand, a gentle caress that made him smile instantly.

He rose to his feet when the conversation became nothing more than just pleasant talk – how Oryen was finding this new position of power, who was ready for the next elections. Something Sun found interesting the few minutes he was in the conversation before his brain started latching onto other matters entirely. When he got up, everyone did the same.

« I will visit each and everyone of you in the upcoming days. Tell your Masters I’ll receive them in two days,» and with that, he left the room, Leni and Asidera few steps behind him.

« Before doing everything else, I have to speak with my son,» said Lea, turning toward the set of stairs to his right.

« Is he back?» Asidera asked.

« He is,» called Sun, letting the wind coming from the window mess his hair and the scarf around his shoulders, « I heard him.»

*

He did actually come back. Roxas was sitting cross-legged on the edge of the roof, head raised high and eyes closed. His lips were curved into an easy smile. He was wearing that big cape Lea gave him a lifetime ago, all wrapped up around him like he was feeling the cold Lea had never felt on his skin. The wind didn’t bother him and he welcomed it like an old friend.

« The troubles you cause, Windriser.»

The smile almost seemed to turn upside down, eyes pinched in an annoyed expression. He knew what it was coming.

« One day you will cause this kingdom to fall and when I’ll wake up I will only see ruins around me,» said Lea, walking toward him and dropping next to him, legs dangling from the edge of the roof.

Roxas showed a tiny glimpse of a smile, like the thought actually crossed his mind more than once and had to physically strain himself to not going after that kind of destruction his father was talking about.

« Don’t laugh, Roxas, this is important.»

« I’m not laughing,» replied the Windriser, eyes still closed, « I’m just thinking you lend your Masters’ words way more ear than you should.»

« You provoked Raincatch—»

At that, Roxas opened his eyes and set them on Lea: he looked annoyed enough, the wind actually caught up, messing his hair even more. « That’s a lie and you know it: she provoked me first.»

« That’s not what she told me.»

Windriser sighed. At that, the wind seemed to die down for a moment, like that sigh was a long, drawn out breath of the breeze itself. « I was tired. I’ve been bottled up in this castle for more than forty days, Sun, you can’t expect me to be patient for this long.»

« I’m asking you to be, Roxas, there are many things I have to do that I don’t like to do, like sitting in reunions with the Circle for hours on end. Also, Kairi told me you ruined her flowers.»

Roxas rolled his eyes so much his head was thrown back. He let out a long groan. « They regrow, no big deal.»

« They put actual effort in their jobs. Can you please just be respectful of that?»

Windriser crossed his arms, lips pinched in spiteful pout. Lea knew he was too proud to say he was sorry so he let him be – some things were better left unsaid for everyone’s peace. From the roof of the castle, Sun could actually see the plaza and the people cleaning the streets. There were still the celebratory flags hanging from every roof, his gold emblem threaded in gold on the red fabric. When he moved his eyes toward the end of the stairs of the palace, he caught a glimpse of the Rays coming out. From that height he couldn’t recognize whom was who, but he could instantly tell where Sili was. The woman was basically sprinting toward the main street, like she was trying to put as much distance as possible between her and the castle.

« So,» Roxas started to say, watching the woman leaving with the rest of the Rays, « I’m a hazard to the kingdom.»

Sun sighed, leaning back on his arms and directing his gaze toward the blue sky. « Try to understand her point.»

« Her point is: I’m fae, so I cannot be trusted.»

« Wrong,» Lea interrupted him before he got the chance to say anything else, « she has a soft spot for you, we all know this, she sees you as a kid—»

« I’m not a kid.»

« You act as one, Roxas, my point is: she sees you as a kid and thus she thinks you’re not good for being a Regent. She’s not wrong, but you’re the only one that can do that.»

Roxas remained silent after that. He was visibly more relaxed now that the actual scolding (like Sun could actually give him one) was over. He had started playing with a gold coin, passing it between his fingers like it was nothing more than a breeze. « She talked about _that_ like I’m the one responsible for what happened.»

Lea made a face at him, squinting his eyes at him. « Well… technically—»

Windriser elbowed him onto the side, hard enough for Lea to gasp. « I just wanted a bit of fresh air! I wanted to— I don’t know what I wanted to do, but I had enough of the castle, the Masters, even Asidera!»

« That’s a lot, considering you and Asidera are basically partners in crime.»

Roxas raised an eyebrow at him. « You’re thinking we’re close just because they always sings my praise while you’re a plague to their existence. I just do what they ask me to do.» He suddenly got up, like he couldn’t stand to sit down a minute longer. It always seemed like Roxas was a ball of energy that just was expecting for the right spark to blow up, a mine under the ground that just waited for the pressure to disappear to go off. He started walking up and down, the cape billowing in the air, the shuffling of the clothes the only audible sound between them. « It’s not my fault if I get…»

« Antsy?» Lea tried, lying down on the roof so he could stare up at the blue sky. His son came into view after two seconds of silence: he looked dead serious.

« Tired. I get tired, Sun.»

Lea sighed, a long breath that seemed to come out from the pit of his lungs. He was tired of the conversation, long stale and spent. They had this kind of conversation at least four times in the last three centuries and it always brought them to the same point: when no one would do anything to do anything else and how could they? Roxas knew Lea couldn’t leave the throne to anyone else and Lea knew as well how Roxas would get tired and exhausted and ready to eat himself alive in staying closed off from the rest of the world, looking at the horizon and hoping to be on one of those boats traveling to some far away land.

He could understand why Roxas acted the way he did, but his son had to understand his side of the story too: he could’ve met a far more superior fae and what could’ve happened at that point? It wasn’t just for his sake, but for the whole well being of the country. Raincatcher was a good fae, gentle but firm. What if they had made a deal with someone not that merciful? What would’ve happened to his people? What would’ve happened to his own son?

« Go see the Raincatcher. She’ll be in the second province in two weeks. And Kairi and Sili are expecting an apology as well.»

« Oh, com’on,» Roxas started saying, annoyed. He looked like he wanted an out from the conversation.

Sun had it.

« This is not a request, Roxas, this is an order,» he said, fixing his long garment and getting up from the ground.

« An _order_?» Windriser laughed, still not looking at him and rather focusing on the people in the streets, on the roofs of the houses he was so used to jump on and just run, wind at his feet and kids’ laughter in his ears. There was sarcasm in his voice, like the word order didn’t belong in his vocabulary and that was some funny word he just came up with that made Roxas cracked up.

« From your king first.» At that sentence, Roxas stopped in his steps, halting himself mid movement. It seemed like the wind itself was holding its breath, waiting for its master to actually relax and breathing out once again. He was still not looking at him. « And your father second.» And just with that, Windriser actually looked at him over his shoulder and the breeze started to blow once again, a cool air that was making the flags billowing softly.

Roxas had a disappointed expression on his face, arms crossed. He didn’t seem like he wanted to keep up the conversation, but he desired closure as much as Lea.

Sun sighed, shoulders relaxing once again. He understood his nature. He had come to know it after a while, but at the same time Windriser wasn’t really getting his point: the burden on Lea’s shoulders, the reasons why, in some matters, Lea couldn’t afford to be reckless or the “funny king inattentive to traditions” everyone has come to known. There were days where the crown had to stay on his head, no matter how heavy it could get. And there were other days where that same crown would go to someone else for a while and as much as that pained him, that someone had to be Roxas. His nature had to be put aside.

_For the greater good, as Sili would say. _

He approached the boy, scratching the back of his head. When he did, the bracelet on his wrist tingled with the other jewels. « Go see them. Say your apologies, lie through the whole act if you want to. Just show that you understand your mistakes,» Lea smirked before adding, « until the next time, when you will act recklessly once again and I will tell you the exact same things I’m telling you now.»

Windriser’s lips took an upward curve just at the corner, a glimpse of a smile that wouldn’t show. He became a grimace when Lea ruffled his hair affectionately. « Let me be!»

Sun laughed, walking slowly toward the stairs. He heard his feet padding right behind him. Lea knew that wasn’t what he had in mind when he thought about talking to him, reminding him of all the troubles he had caused and how he could make amends for it. But then again, Lea had never been good at being the bad parental figure.

*

The aforementioned bad parental figure was waiting for them at the end of the stairs, arms crossed over the long robe, an eyebrow arched. Asidera didn’t look excited in Roxas’ return; Leni, on the contrary, as soon as her eyes laid on Sun, her expression cleared and a huge relief dawned on her – Asidera must have talked her ears off about Sun's behaviour during the meeting and how it could’ve gone differently and a bunch of other matters Lea would’ve died to hear. _Literally_.

« Oh, I see the wayward son came back from his vacation.» Again, Asidera didn’t sound ecstatic in hearing about his adventures around the places he’d visited.

« And hello to you too, Asidera, it’s so nice to see you, well, I’m _fantastic_, I’d say, thank you,» Roxas said, crossing his arms behind his back when they reached the end of the stairwell. Asidera didn’t comment on the sarcastic tone, but seeing the thin line of their lips Lea guessed they might have detect it but decided against saying anything.

« First Eye, a couple of things first—» And usually when Master of Star said “a couple” it meant “I will proceed to talk until you decide to go to Sleep and reincarnate so you don't have to hear me talking in a span of time that goes from twenty to seventy days”.

Sun let out a long, pained groan at that, starting to walk as fast as he could down the corridor, half wishing that if he sprinted fast enough Asidera would have let him live with his ear still attached to the skull. He passed down a couple of doors with their voice in his ears before saying, « Asidera, I will literally pay your weight in gold to stop talking right now.»

« You never paid me once in your lifetime, _so_ as I was saying—»

He hoped he could block them out somehow when he walked into the round room, but Asidera was faster than Sun gave them credit for. They were the first walking in, followed right after by Roxas who talked briefly to Leni before walking in and closing the door behind him.

That was one of the few places no Attendants were allowed into. There was nothing special in the room itself, it wasn’t sacred or anything. It wasn’t even decorated; the room was rather sparse, except for a low table with a big chest on it and a couple of pillows around, the same net of flowers hanging from the ceiling. But whatever happened inside that room was a matter between Sun, his Master of Star and his Windriser. Nobody else.

Lea approached the box, a silver circle edged onto the surface. The casket opened with a loud _clank_ and there it was. The object in front of him was more like an helmet than an actual mask. It resembled a face – a set of two black eyes, a tiny nose, thin lips. Lithe white lines spiralled all around the surface, going from the jawline, along the edges and all up toward the forehead, meeting a crystals sphere in the middle. When Lea carefully took it out, the glass caught the light quite nicely, casting a rainbow onto the floor.

There was a low, humming sound coming from it. If Lea focused, he could the mask vibrating under his palm.

Sun went to sit cross-legged onto the pillows, the mask heavy in his hands. Asidera and Roxas sat down onto the pillows in front: they were staring at him much like two apprehensive parents checking onto their child’s new toy. But Lea knew who was waiting on the other side and wasn’t giving it too much thought while securing the helmet around his face, casting the world in darkness and in complete silence.

Sun breathed out.

« May you always light the way in darkness, Moon.»

There was silence from the other side. He knew they were listening but no response came for a while. For a moment Lea feared there was a problem with his own mask: maybe they couldn’t hear his voice. That mask was so old, it shouldn’t have been so bizarre if they magic had actually wore off.

Lea was about to say something else.

« May your light always shine bright, First Eye.»

There was a male voice coming from the other side and so low Sun actually felt a chill going down his back – Sun, who had never shivered once in his lifetime. The mask had the perks of amplifying the voice, reaching his ears with a sound so clear it felt like Moon was actually there, talking next to him. Or almost whispering into his ear, since nobody else beside Lea could actually listen to whatever he was saying.

Yet, Sun was sure Moon’s voice was so naturally low and slow and booming at the same time, like he wanted to give a specific weight to every word, calculating every pause. The talk of a King.

« Are you still there, First Eye?» There it was again: the calculated slowness in saying his name, that brief pause between “there” and his title, like his name brought onto Moon’s tongue all the burdens that Sun felt on his shoulders every waking day of his lifetime.

Sun shook his head, cutting the messy thread of thoughts that his mind was trying to chase down. « Yes, sorry,» and he absolutely loathed how loud and ringing his voice must have sounded to Moon’s ears, who seemed so poised and regal and everything Lea didn’t care to be.

He heard an acknowledging sound coming from the other side. Even that single, tiny thing sounded like it came from the deepest pit of his lungs: Lea wanted to scour out the source of it from his throat, finding out what made his vocal chords vibrate in that way. The more he talked about the trades, the blessing and everything in between – something unbearable after a while, his brain started disconnecting – the more Lea started to ponder about how different that voice was from the one he faintly remembered about old Moon. He couldn’t recall much, aside from the fact that once Moon had been a vibrant woman that kept a steady relationship with Sun’s kingdom – as it had been for thousands of years after all.

But that voice. He only made him more curious about Moon – not about his kingdom or their economic affairs, but his own persona. Was his voice always like that? Was he _that_ poised in every moment of his life?

« So, what are your opinions about the matter?»

Lea returned to reality feeling like someone had just punched him in the face. He didn’t have the heart to tell him he didn’t even know what he was asking his opinion about.

« Err—» Lea started saying, trying not to sound too much like his mind had just wondered off to faraway lands where its inhabitants all had that kind of slow, precise voice, that stability. « Yes. Yes, yeas, it’s like you said.»

Moon remained silent for a while. Not a sound came from the other side. « Did you listen to me, First Eye?»

Sun knew that the thing that came out of his mouth was the most nervous laughter he had ever made and he knew that Moon recognised it as such. He went on anyway. « Of course I did, you were talking about how the spices exported from here could—»

« I was talking about new assistance for the guardians at the Veil. Furthermore, I don’t think we import spices from your kingdom, Sun.»

If the mask hadn’t prevented it, Lea would have punched himself hard enough to knock himself out for a couple of hours just to stop talking. Maybe he was starting to understand what Roxas and Asidera were going through every day of their lives. _Maybe_.

« Oh, they call me, I absolutely must go! Have a nice day, Moon!»

« But you can’t hear—»

Lea took the helmet off before his mouth could compromise his position even more. In front of him, Roxas was all bent forward, hands covering his face. He was completely still. Asidera, on the other side, was staring at Lea with an unreadable expression – it wasn’t unreadable, it was just apathy, but Lea couldn’t have known that considering he didn’t care.

Asidera was the first one to talk.

« You said “have a nice day”. To another king. Who lives in a land with a never-ending night. You decided to say, “have a nice day. Like he was some kind of commoner out for a morning stroll.»

Lea remained silent for a while, putting his mask down.

« Well,» he said, Asidera’s face already changing into a mask of instant, wild fury, « maybe you meant a _midnight_ stroll.»

Lea was sure he had never run _that_ fast out of a room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "silvertongue" // young the giant


	6. to try and keep from calling you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rejoyce, this is the first time i actually update on the day i said i was going to update, a true christmas miracle

Asidera didn’t let him live that out: they talked about that mistake for days on end, reminding him how a king should act and how inattentive and unfocused he had behaved during their first call. They were even able to get a hold of him in the end of their chase down the corridors, dragging him by the hair back to his rooms so he could scold him properly like a child. Windriser was already waiting inside, legs crossed on the pillow and a hand resting on his cheek – he looked pensive and Lea knew he was pondering if it was too late to rescind his deal with him.

In the next days, Sun’s brain worked on two parallels rails: one that let him do the job he was assigned since his birth, keeping the kingdom upright and his own Designated son out of trouble; the other one kept Lea busy in the sparse moments of freedom stolen for himself by escaping Asidera’s claws. And in those brief instances, Sun liked to rethink about that brief conversation with Moon.

Sun knew a couple of things about the other sovereign. They had a stable, economic relationship with one another: Sun exported many of the fabrics and warm clothes his land produced in Moon’s kingdom, dried food such as meat and everything else that might interest Moon and help him prosper – the same thing went for Sun himself. Lea couldn’t remember the last time they saw each other. Maybe millennia before, but the details were so blurred in his mind he couldn’t put his finger on, their voices the only thing that could actually connect the both of them. Furthermore, Moon was very jealous of his kingdom: scarce were the information about his land and even more so regarding his royal persona. From what he could remember, Sun was almost sure he had never even seen his realm. Not that Sun had actually cared – not until now.

Sun kept rolling Moon’s voice over in his mind, much like a dealer shuffling their cards over and over again. The slowness of the tone, the deepness, that care in his words like each vowel and consonant had a specific weight that he had to consider well before letting them fall out from his lips. That was the talk of a King, something that Asidera would’ve envied if they could actually wear the helmet and listen to him.

In the upcoming days, Sun kept himself busy – better yet, Asidera made sure he kept himself busy. He was able to visit just a couple of his provinces before his presence was requested again at the palace for a couple of other matters from his Masters.

A week had passed.

To clear his head, Sun went to the sunflower field, a splitting headache that left his brain buzzing. He stopped in his tracks for a moment when he saw a familiar blond head still in front of a woman with a great white fan at her side. Roxas had his arms crossed behind his back, nodding to whatever thing Aqua was saying – he couldn’t see her face, but Lea was sure she had prepared quite the speech for the occasion. Sun left, a smile on his lips: Roxas could be a little shit most of the time, but at least, at the end of every heart-to-heart conversation, he seemed to actually listen to Sun’s wishes. Sometimes. When Windriser was in the right mood. Thinking about it, the chances he’d actually listen to his father weren’t that many.

He went to sit in the shade of his sunflowers, the crowns turning toward him as soon as he entered the field. He walked on ahead, searching with his eyes a corner, a gap between the stems where he could rest for a while, letting his mind wander off without someone pestering him about some other problem. When he found it, Lea knelt down between the stems of the sunflowers, the crown slightly leaning over him – like some natural protection from the same light he gave everyone on a daily basis.

He breathed out and closed his eyes. The shade did well to his tired eyes and the earthy smell was something that felt familiar. There was a light breeze shaking the crown of the flowers, a rustling sound that lulled him to sleep, asking him to rest there for a while. And that voice that was trying so hard to lull him to sleep was slow and steady and deep. It almost felt familiar.

« I’m never going to apologize to anyone ever again, you hear me?»

Lea let out a long, pained sigh. Peace was something that still eluded him, even in his own, special garden; even hidden away from the palace’s affairs under the protection of his own sunflowers.

« What happened? Did they tell you you’re a really naughty boy and that hurt your feelings?»

« More like “Kairi had tried to chop my feet right off when I apologized to her”. I got away because her sister had advised against murder into your own court. »

Sun made a face, his eyes still closed. « That doesn’t sound like Kairi at all.»

« I’m absolutely _appalled_ by the notion you might not know the profound nature of the fae you keep in your own court.»

Lea opened his eyes, raising an eyebrow at him. « That serves you right for not acknowledging the gardeners’ efforts, Roxas. Kairi and Namine had worked hard to make the west field grow strong just to be all ruined by you.»

« I was tired, you know that.»

« I’m tired most of the time, Roxas, that doesn’t mean I go off burning the ground around me.» At that, Roxas scoffed, crossing his arms. He started walking up and down the path: he was restless. Like all the pent up energy hadn’t found an outlet yet and was trying to find alternative ways to vent. « Well, things went well. You still have your feet.»

« Because Namine stopped her from going absolute apeshit on me! Do you even know how fast Kairi is? She could’ve cut my throat with those scissors!»

Lea sighed. « Kids these days. So dramatic.»

« Call me kid one more time and I swear on the eastern winds you’ll only have siroccos for the next three weeks, _father_.»

Sun laughed at the honeyed word. He ruefully got up from his spot. No way to rest now that Windriser was there, pestering him. He started walking down the path, Roxas’ arms still tightly crossed in front of him, a frowned expression on his face.

« I’ll soon leave for Meridiana. You should come with, so you could apologize to Sili as well.»

« I said,» reminded him Windriser, « I don’t want to apologize to anyone ever again, I’m done.»

« I’m sure I asked you to apologize to Sili as well.»

Roxas let out a groan, dropping his arms to the sides of his body in defeat. « She knows _I’m sorry_ about that.»

Lea laughed. « Yeah, sure, mortified about the whole ordeal, I’m sure.»

« Yes! Exactly!»

« And that’s why you must come with, so you can tell her yourself,» Sun threw an arm around Roxas’ shoulders, shaking him a couple of times and making him more riled up than he already was, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself and Lea by pushing against his arm.

They walked the path in silence, Windriser rolling a tiny stone along the way before kicking it away, bored of his little game as soon as it started.

« Asidera still on your throat?» Roxas asked, looking up. Sun followed his gaze: on a balcony, Asidera was enjoying the fresh air, arms leaning on the banister. Sun couldn’t see their face, but he knew he would’ve have found a calm expression if he could just get closer.

Lea smiled. A mischievous smile. « Maybe. It depends on the reason.» And leant his head just slightly toward Roxas, looking at him with a smirk.

The boy smirked back, a malicious glint in his eyes. He looked up at Asidera again. A flick of his wrist was enough: one movement and the breeze became a wind so strong the complex turban around Asidera’s head came undone, dropping all forward, covering their face. They took the fabric just in time, face all covered by the cotton.

« Run, run, _run_!» Roxas basically sprinted toward the end of the path with no effort at all, the clinking of Sun’s jewels right behind him. He could hear Asidera’s voice from above, calling the both of them. When he turned the corner, toward the stairs of the palace, Roxas was already there, laughing, happy that at least one of his mischiefs didn’t cause any considerate trouble and was done with his own father’s approval.

Lea ruffled his hair, pushing him away before resuming his walk toward his rooms. « Now you know the reason why they’ll be on my throat now.»

Windriser followed him, still chuckling behind the high collar of his cape, steps way lighter than before.

While roaming his palace, Lea had the chance to rethink about Moon once again, that solitary kingdom of his. Sun was sure he had never seen it. He would remember for sure, unless it had been such a boring realm that didn’t even create a gold reminder of that event. The only information Sun had was the fact he was dealing with a man with a very handsome voice. And that was it.

« Roxas,» said Sun, walking past the room where the mask was resting, his eyes indulging onto the wooden surface, « you travel a lot, right?»

Windriser looked up at him like Sun really was the dumbest man alive and he was there to witness this peak of stupidity with his own two, tired eyes. He leant his head to the side, eyebrows raised. « I don’t know, Sun, you tell me. Does the wind travel a lot? Let’s stop and think about it for a second,» and Roxas actually stopped, putting on a fake pensive expression.

« Very funny,» Lea commented, shaking his head. « Where’s the farthest place you travelled to?»

Windriser watched him, suspicious. « You never asked me about my travels. Never.»

« Can’t I just be curious?»

« You can, as well as I can be suspicious of it.»

He wasn’t wrong: Sun had never asked him where he was going. Not that he didn’t care - Sun cared, maybe too much sometimes. He knew Roxas went where he liked: faraway lands that Sun may have heard of from songs, but never actually explored. Windriser would come back slightly more tanned and sometimes even sporting bruises, and even then, Sun had never told him a thing.

His question came unprompted, so he could understand why he was so suspicious of it.

Sun sighed. « Just tell me.»

Roxas blinked at him. « Ask, then.»

« I asked you.»

Windriser laughed. He pursed his lips, thinking about what to say. « There are many lands that I cannot visit. Some winds don’t want me there, winds out of my control. Those aside, yes, you could say I travel a lot.»

Sun remained in silence for a while. Walking helped him thinking, but Roxas must have understood he was walking in circle with no actual goal in mind. They went on the terrace, enjoying the fresh air, a breeze that brought the smell of flowers from the garden. From up there, in the distance, if he squinted his eyes, Sun could see a long shadow, its stature elevating toward the sky. He didn’t need to focus to know the Guardians were there, imperturbable as they’ve always been for centuries.

« So,» Sun started saying, « you’ve been in Moon’s kingdom as well?»

Roxas made a face at no one in particular, walking on the edge of the terrace with light feet, wind catching on his clothes. « Maybe I did. But I don’t remember much. I know it’s a cold kingdom, though.»

« Cold?»

Windrised nodded. « I don’t remember much of that place apart from the cold, it’s something that steal your breath. Even I had problems getting accustomed to it.»

« And… Moon?»

Roxas stopped in his tracks, one leg raised. « Those are very specific questions, you know.»

« I’m just curious.»

« That’s the thing, you’ve never been curious about Moon. Why now?»

Sun shrugged. « Just because.»

Windriser looked at him with suspicion, as if he was trying to stare at him long enough for all of his secrets to just fall out of him. Then, the moment was over and Roxas started walking again with the same carelessness, like the height that separated him from the ground was nothing more than a minor inconvenience to him. « There’s not much to say. I’ve never seen Moon. I don’t have much to tell you.»

« I thought you travelled a lot.»

« I did, but Moon’s kingdom is not exactly the destination of my dreams. I fare better somewhere else.» And with that, Roxas looked somewhere over the city. Not a precise point, but maybe Windriser was seeing something Sun couldn’t reach, a place where Roxas could actually breath out. Sun didn’t know, but he did understand that crave for freedom.

Lea dropped the discussion. No reason to keep pestering him on a matter he wasn’t much informed about – even though it was incredibly amusing riling him up. He didn’t say anything when Windriser just dropped from the terrace, a smirk on his lips: the wind caught him easily, letting him land on one of the towers and away toward the plaza, to the closest roof. Then he turned around, raised his arm toward Lea and he was off once again, running onto the roof’s tile, jumping from one roof to another, kids laughing at his passage.

Sun went back inside, Moon’s cold kingdom haunting his thoughts through the halls and the many rooms of his castle.

*

The chance to talk to Moon again came totally unprompted a week later on and it was a novelty for everyone, Sun included. Especially because it dawned on Lea the fact that he might hear from Moon whenever he liked it. And with no one with him, more importantly – he couldn’t exactly tell Asidera “hey, come with me, I wanna hear Moon’s voice one more time because of boredom and curiosity together”- they would’ve probably killed him on the spot. Explaining to the people why he got reincarnated in the first place would have been _so_ fun.

Lea locked the door twice behind him, making sure nobody could’ve entered – “nobody” meaning Asidera, ready to come to look for him once they realized the castle was too quiet for their likings.

Sun wore the mask right away, sitting on the cushions and waiting to hear his voice.

« First Eye. This is a novelty.»

There it was that voice once again. Sun was sure he could hear amusement in his tone, a strange shade that he didn’t feel the last time they heard each other.

Sun laughed. « Yeah, it is, right?»

A sound of acknowledgement from the other side.

The thing with doing something totally unprompted and out of someone’s nature was this: improvising was all fun and games until you have to continue on with the act – and nothing is prepared. Not a speech, not an excuse, nothing. So when the moment of silence started protracting, getting more and more unbearable by the seconds, Lea actually asked himself why he called in the first place – and he was sure Moon was wondering the same thing as well.

« First Eye?»

Sun jumped up. Maybe he was the one who needed to tell something and was glad Lea had called in first. « Yes?»

« Do you have some matter to discuss with me?»

He couldn’t say no. That would’ve been the end of the conversation and Lea didn’t want that. He had so many questions and no way to ask them because how could he? It was unprofessional, not the talk of a king indeed.

« Yes!» Sun said quickly.

And then silence again. It went on for a while, how much time passed, half an hour of silence? He didn’t know, it seemed like it actually.

« First Eye?» Impatience. A slight nervousness in his tone, like he was trying to cut the conversation short.

« You know, I had something to tell you, but goodness me, I can’t remember now!» And Sun laughed out loud. Too loud. Maybe a sound that was too shrill, just like his own voice. He fell silent after that, silence stretching out once again.

Another sound of acknowledgment.

« Well,» he started saying and even that tiny word felt like the washing of the waves, the crashing against the shore, « I have matters to attend to right now. When you remember, you may contact me again.» And with that, the mask fell silent once again and Moon was gone.

*

Sun wasn’t a fan of libraries. Maybe at least once in his lifetime he had been actually into libraries, but for sure he wasn’t now. Libraries were places where any kind of information was stored – it wasn’t so out of this world thinking they might have something on other kingdoms as well.

« Where are you going?»

Sun slowly turned around, a kid who had just being caught in stealing candies from the jar the parent was sure they had hidden in an unreachable place. Asidera had a stern expression on their face, arms behind their back.

« To the library?»

Asidera looked stunned at that, raising their eyebrows and taking a step back like the whole thing actually punched them in the stomach. « To what, excuse me?»

Sun shot a side look before focusing again on them. « The… library. This one.» And he pointed at the door.

Asidera chuckled. « No, you aren’t.»

« Yes. I am.»

The Master of Star stayed in silence for a moment, their dark eyes going up and down his figure like trying to figure out who was the man in front of him. Sun knew it was a novelty the fact that he was going to visit the library, “the place with all the books” as he was used to call it – just because it was actually hilarious Asidera’s reaction. But surely his Master could’ve given him a bit of credit.

« Who are you? Who did you do to the real First Eye?»

« Ah ah ah. Hilarious.»

« No, I’m serious, what did you do to him?»

« Asidera, I’m just going to the library for a while.»

« For what?»

« To…» he couldn’t tell them the actual reason, they would’ve talked his ear off by reminding him the disgrace he brought upon himself the last time they called each other. « To think.»

The Master of Star looked at him through apathetic eyes. They weren’t buying it.

« To think about books.»

That was definitely wrong, but it was too late to take it back, no matter if Asidera was looking at him like he was the dumbest man alive – Sun was sure he had already seen the same, exact look from someone else.

« To think about books. In the library.»

Sun slowly nodded. « Yes.»

« Yes.»

They stood in front of each other for a while, Sun with a hand on the door and Asidera still with their eyes on him. The Master of Star was still staring at Lea when he slowly entered the room. He looked at the Master of Star straight in the eye while closing the door, leaving them behind – they were probably going to stand there until Sun got out.

The library was situated at the palace’s ground floor, a huge thing that caught the light rather nicely due to the huge glass roof above their heads, tree branches convoluting around the top shelves, their leaves barely covering the spines of the book resting inside. And as any library, there was someone keeping it upright. And that someone was Even. If you could imagine someone who had lived all their life among the books, pale as a sheet and scrawny as a little boy that was High Librarian Even, always perched onto some ladder, head buried in some parchment. As in that exact moment.

« Hey, Paperman,» called Sun.

From the top shelf, Even didn’t even move his head to meet Sun’s eyes. He carefully finished what he was doing, putting the book on the right shelf and then, only then, he actually looked at his sovereign from the top of his shoulder.

« I think the last time someone saw you in here, First Eye, Asidera wasn’t a Master yet and my son wasn’t even a thought in my young mind.»

« Wow, Paperman, how does it feel knowing you were there to see the first men discovering the fire?»

Even slowly climbed down the ladder. Now that they looked at each other close, Sun could see the dark marks under Even’s eyes, the straight fall of his blonde hair that well hid the streaks of white. He was as tall as him and was regarding Sun with a calculating gaze.

« Why are you here, First Eye? You barely come see me these…» He thought well about what to say next. « Centuries,» was the thing he decided to go with.

« Very funny, Paperman.»

« Stop calling me like that.»

Lea rubbed his hands together. « You got any books on other kingdoms?»

Even sighed. « Too general.»

« Moon’s kingdom?»

The High Librarian raised his eyebrows at him. « If you’re looking for products of fiction, the bottom shelf of the third isle might help you. If you’re looking for real information, you’ll have to reconsider.»

« Nothing? Like… you got actually nothing?» And to reiterate the point, Sun looked around at the huge library, at the trees growing closer to the shelves, at the glass above their heads.

Even sighed once again, like the conversation with Sun was rather taxing. « I’m sorry I cannot sate this thirst of knowledge, First Eye, but Moon’s land is one of the most seclusive kingdom known of. If you want a shred of information, you might contact a merchant.»

Sun sighed and was ready to throw the towel. No way to know more about the matter but asking him, but he couldn’t just ask questions like that right off the bat, as if Moon was some kind of person he met while in the line at the bakery.

But then it hit him. A merchant. A merchant might know. A merchant coming from afar that had many things to trade and a crew crazy enough to put up with their captain.

« Thanks, Paperman!» And he dashed off, Even reminding him half-heartedly not to call him like that.

When he came out, Asidera was actually waiting there as Sun originally thought. « Did you think long and hard about books in the library?»

« I need to see Roxas.»

« Why? Are you trying to involve your son as well in this… long reflection about books?»

Lea decided to ignore them, but Asidera followed him around for a while before retiring – they valued the whole affair not important enough to cause any chaos at the palace. Roxas came back later on, when most of his people had gone to sleep under a cerulean sky. He found him in the kitchens, sitting with his legs crossed on a countertop, a tray of veggie pies in front of him. When Lea entered, Windriser groaned around his food.

« Please, can I just eat my food in peace?»

Lea ignored him and marched toward him. « You know Sora, right?»

Roxas swallowed down his bite. « I hope you know him too, you’ve been dealing with his family for a while, so I sure hope—»

« You think he might know something about Moon?»

Windriser stopped his hand mid air, mouth half open. He regarded Sun with the same calculated gaze Asidera was used to give him sometimes, wondering if there was more hidden behind those innocent words. « Why you’re so obsessed with this now?»

Sun scoffed. « I’m not obsessed.»

« You’re asking too many questions on the matter, this is the start of an obsession,» Roxas said, munching down on the next veggie pie. « But fine, I will send words, I want to see where this is going.»

« Great!» He started walking out of the kitchen before turning around toward Windriser again. « Please don’t tell Asidera.»

Roxas grinned. « No worries. I won’t.»

The next day, Asidera made a beeline toward Lea, asking him what he was planning to call his merchant from afar out of the blue. When Lea turned around to look at Roxas, he was watching him with the fakest smile he had ever seen, blue eyes glinting mischief.

*

Sora and his crew arrived at Lea’s court five days later, nervousness clear, their backs straight and tense as chords of an instrument. Apparently, before getting into the Great Hall, Sora had asked Roxas a bunch of anxious questions, “what’s happening?”, “did something happen?” and similar before ending with a strange assertion of innocence like “we didn’t do anything and if we did, it was, honest to the Skies, a mistake” – Roxas tried to ignore the fact that _that_ was exactly what someone guilty might say.

When Sun entered the room, hair tied up in a messy bun and a yellow open dress billowing behind him, the crew was caught halfway between amazement and even more nervousness. The guy with the silver hair looked like the most calm, but even from where he was standing, Roxas could see the tense curve of his shoulders.

« Thank you for coming,» said Sun and then he smiled. If possible, the crew grew even more restless. « I called you here because I had a question.»

The crew froze in place.

« A… question?» Sora asked, head leaning slightly forward like he didn’t quite understand the question.

« Yes?» At that, the crew let out a collective relieved sigh. Riku’s shoulders visibly relaxed, deflating like a balloon. Roxas chuckled at that, focusing his attention to something else – for example on the little mouse hiding in the hair of the big man back there. It was so tiny and it seemed like he had a red scarf around his little neck. Roxas felt his heart do a flip at the sight of that. He returned to the present, turning his head toward Lea, who was regarding the whole crew with a confused expression. « Should have I called you here for some other reason?»

« No!» The crew screamed all together, their expression nervous once again.

« Not at all, First Eye, but,» started saying the man with silver hair, taking a step forward, « maybe next time you could let us know the reason of our summoning before coming here?»

« I’m about to go into cardiac arrest,» said the woman with the red hair, everyone turning around to shoot her a look – if only eyes could kill.

Lea spoke again, eyes returning all to him. « You all keep trades with many kingdoms, right?»

The crew looked at each other for a moment, as if the question wasn’t clear enough and they were all pondering about the answer. The first to reply was the captain of the group. The leader of the crew was a guy whose eyes where as blue as the oceans he soared most of his time. Staying under the sun for so much of his time had made his skin brownish, a tan that almost never went away. He always had a couple of daggers strapped at his waist and one of them had an identical twin – the other one was strapped at the side of his right-hand man, the guy with silver hair.

« We do, First Eye. The last kingdom we visited was one very close to our home.»

« Did you visit, by any chance, Moon’s kingdom?»

Sora tilted his head to the side. « Actually, we did rather recently. We were even so lucky to join the ceremony.»

Roxas was the first to talk. « You mean Moon’s birth?»

The captain nodded quickly. « They called it “Moon’s Rising”. It was all…» and he stopped like he was looking for the right words to say next, « very bizarre.»

« Why?» Lea asked, curiosity crackling up like a fire under his skin. « What did you see?»

« I wouldn’t use the word “see” in this sentence,» said Sora, shaking his head, his expression becoming almost apologetic, « we didn’t actually _see_ anything.»

When the room remained silent, Sora decided to go forward with his tale. He told the whole story: about the first arrival to this starry kingdom with the biting cold, the religious silence covering the whole city like a cape, the prohibition to look directly at the king in the first part of the ceremony. The more he talked, the more his whole crew joined in, adjusting the speech, leaving their own two cents on some matter: it was like listening to a pirate story, like their trade affair had been another adventure in a faraway ocean. Lea and Roxas listened intently, not saying a single word for the whole story.

When it was over, Sun remained silent, thinking over and over again about what he just heard. Moon seemed more like a god coming from a nightmarish story than a beloved king. Yet, Sun knew how stories could be: he had a couple under his belt, too, and he wasn’t even veiled, he was rather open about almost everything. And yet, malice still could be spread around his halls and the streets like a disease. On the other hand, who would have been brave enough to put those stories to the test? From what Sora told, his people seemed devoted and loyal, and if they considered their king to be good and benevolent, why would they cause a stir of anger in proving the truth?

It all seemed a paradox to Lea, adding mystery to more mystery, but, after all, Moon seemed to live in a reality completely different from Sun. The whole veil thing added nothing but more fuel to the fire of his curiosity. He wanted to know more about that strange land. And the starry sky? That was pure novelty. Sun had never felt cold in his life, didn’t know its bite. And now he longed to feel it just for five minutes. To know what was behind that Veil.

« The stories you heard,» said Roxas after a while, « do you think are true?»

Sora shrugged. « I don’t know. But his people seemed loyal to him nonetheless.»

Windriser nodded. When Sun looked up at him, he seemed pensive, like the whole matter started to be interesting to him as well.

Soon enough, the discussion was spent and Lea invited them to his table as a thank you for their time. And yet, Lea didn’t touch any food while they were there. He was listening with one ear, watching everything without truly seeing – even though he smiled at the sight of that sailor’s tiny mouse climbing on top of Roxas’ hair and nestling there for a while. His thoughts were threads he couldn’t follow to their ends, curiosity making complex knots he couldn’t untie.

A veiled king living alone with his daughter and a fae in a cold kingdom. It seemed like the stuff of a fairy tale with a horror twist – a man who doesn’t let anyone seeing him, bad omens hiding behind his thousand eyes and a gaping mouth full of burning stars. And then there was the night sky with his tiny lights. Sun couldn’t imagine it even if he tried to.

The thought of a starry night haunted him until the end of the feast. Even when he saluted the crew and Roxas sent favourable winds, the thought of a cold land didn’t leave his thoughts.

« Still thinking about it?» WIndriser asked, standing at the end of the dock, watching the ship sailing.

Sun looked at the horizon, at the blue sky that showed no lights. « A cold land with a veiled king. Seems like a story of its own.»

« Yeah, a horror story, if you ask me,» laughed Roxas, retracing his steps toward the castle.

« What? Are you afraid?»

Windriser looked at him for a moment, halting his steps. The smile he showed was more like a wolfish grin – Sun was sure he had seen the same exact grin at the beginning of time, when Roxas wasn’t Roxas, but a far more scary thing hiding behind trees, rows of teeth, long claws and glinting eyes. Sun watched him nonetheless. « This is a horror story, Lea, but not for me. I’m fae. I’ve encountered _things_ like that. And trust me: from what I heard, even knowing they might be just stories, I wouldn’t put them to test either.»

« I’m not fae.»

« So you would try him?»

Sun remained silent at that. Would he? He wasn’t so sure about that. Lea was a superior entity, born from the flames and light. He couldn’t be considered fae. But Moon? Moon seemed like a monster lurking in the shadows and ready to jump at your throat when you’re distracted. He wondered briefly if someone had actually tried him at least once.

Roxas smirked at his silence. « Yeah, I don’t think so.»

And with that, he walked forward, cape billowing behind him, steps getting lighter the more he approached the castle.

Sun remained on the shore for a while longer, stories playing over and over again in his head.

*

Sun had prepared a speech this time.

He had the sentence ready and all the possible comebacks. There was nothing that could’ve gone wrong this time. So he sat confidently on his cushions, fixed his hair (like Moon was there to see it) and then put the mask, waiting for the familiar, deep voice to welcome him. He waited slightly longer than the last time but when Moon actually spoke, his voice startled him all the same.

« First Eye. You finally remembered what you wanted to tell me last time?»

Sun’s brain started buzzing like it was already overwhelmed and the conversation had barely started.

« Yes,» he said and Sun really hoped his voice didn’t really sound that squeaky. « I wanted to apologize. For the last time.»

« When you forgot the reason why you called me?»

« No. I mean, yes! But also the time before that, when… when I had other things to attend to.» The whole speech was going off the rails, no way to stop the flow of it now.

« Apologies accepted, First Eye. Perhaps you had a lot on your mind.»

_Yes, for example why your kingdom is so cold and how’s the cold in the first place and why do you have lights attached to the sky_, but he couldn’t tell him that.

« I did, I did,» he confirmed Sun, nodding along. « So,» he tried to find the right words, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He had apologised now, no reason to keep the conversation going. Yet, Lea really wanted to talk more with him, no matter if he made a fool of himself. « I summoned captain Sora to my court, he came to see me.»

« Did something happen?»

Lea stumbled. « No, no, nothing— nothing big, I mean, nothing happened, I just wanted… to talk to him.»

« In what regards?»

Sun thought fast. « Stuff.» Maybe not that fast.

Moon’s reply came a couple of seconds later, his voice betraying confusion. « Stuff?»

Lea really didn’t know what to tell him next. His brain was fraying in tiny pieces he couldn’t recollect for himself. He shook his head, trying to refocus. « He told me he came to visit you.»

« Yes. His services are much appreciated.»

Lea ruefully smiled behind the mask. « For the good of the people, uh?». He didn’t know why he told him that in the first place.

The silence on the other side was almost deafening. It took Moon a while to respond.

« Isn’t it _always_ for the good of the people, First Eye?»

And even amidst the confusion, _that_ was something they both understood rather well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "caught" // florence + the machine


	7. raise hell and turn it up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote two versions of this chapter because it was hell and it's just thanks to nicole if i was able to write something decent enough @ nic iou my life  
anyway, sorry for the delay, i hope y'all good

The thing was: when Windriser woke up that day he didn’t expect to find himself carried into the main room by Sun’s preferred Attendants in front of his king and father. He didn’t expect many things actually, like the fact that Sun was wearing one of his fanciest robe – a long tunic with a high collar, his symbol embroidered in thin golden threads on the front – all his Masters around the room. A small figure with short, black hair and a long black cloak was standing in the middle of the room. There was a puddle forming around their feet, drops still clinging to the fabric before falling onto the marble. Roxas found the whole thing odd, but didn’t dwell on the thought.

He walked into the room, distractively fixing his clothes and running a hand through his messy hair. « What is it?»

Asidera made a face at him, like the sight of him all dishevelled and looking as he had still his head onto the pillow displeased them. « We have a guest, Windriser.»

Roxas yawned. « Great, who is it?»

Turned out the guest was a woman – a girl, to be exact. She couldn’t be older than him. Her grey eyes fixed on his blonde hair instantly, going then over his face, his shoulders. He felt tiny under that inquisitive gaze and felt even more so when his eyes went down and stopped at the silver hilt of a sword strapped at her side.

« Roxas, this is Xion,» Sun said, his voice booming in the silence of the room. « Moon’s daughter.»

And that was _definitely_ something he didn’t expect.

*

_[One month earlier.]_

_“Isn’t it always for the good of the people, First Eye?”_

That sentence haunted Lea until the end of the conversation – which died right after that, actually: Moon had nothing more to add and retired for the _night_, as he had told him. Lea remained with the mask in his hand for a long time, mulling over those words, heavy on his tongue when he repeated them in the silence of the room.

The good of the people.

The only thing that had always moved Sun, that forced him to take human form every time, to deal with any kind of problem that might rise with rationality and firmness, no matter if that choice might hurt him. The people had always come forward, a constant priority that forced him to put anything else aside. And the same went for Moon as well. If that was it, no reason to be surprised if anyone around him saw him as a benevolent king. Not seeing his face was nothing more than a minor inconvenience, not that important if not seeing him meant having food in their bellies and warm clothes in their homes.

Yet, there was something in his voice. That sadness in his tone, almost sounding like defeat. The crown _was_ a burden: it weighted on your neck, making you crave to bend under it and yet having to stand with your back as straight as ever, firm under the pressure and careful not to show any kind of strain. It was the burden of being a king, something Lea had never felt before: he had a vast network aiding him in his work, his people seemed happy, he had several deals with fae who were glad to work under him. He was one of the lucky ones.

But Moon.

Maybe Moon didn’t have the same chance. Moon was a veiled king enclosed in a cold castle, stories haunting his every step and not doing anything to chase them down. Because that was the thing with stories: they spread like a disease and you’re trying to find the cure to something that has already rotten. Sun had many stories as well, nasty ones: Asidera had told him a couple over time. Like the one he was a voluble and _particularly_ _open_ king, accepting many lovers at a time into his bed – Lea had laughed at that: he was sure he had never brought more than one lover to his bed and that was a long time ago. At least seven lifetimes before. Also, more than one lover seemed like way too much work, no way he would’ve been able to satisfy more than one person without feeling overwhelmed by the whole deal. There were stories around him having fae and the black magic he used to keep them under his control, including his own son – none of that was true, of course. Roxas came to him naturally, much like the waves that come crashing on the shore or the howling of the wind during a storm, and they had been together for millenia. Same for the Raincatcher: her clan lived on with striking deals with others, so Lea accepted her services almost straight away. So no black magic: Lea didn’t go searching for fae; usually it was the other way around. And he had no reason to chain them at his court.

Stories were vicious things and unless you know how to skirt around them there was always the risk to drown in this sea, where your voice was nothing more than a whisper. Sun didn’t know the feeling. And he wasn’t sure Moon had the same kind of privilege.

« Have you ever worked for any other sovereign before me?»

Sun couldn’t exactly talk to this matter to Asidera just yet, considering it way too soon to approach the subject. And he had talked his son’s ears off and any other question might lead him to speak to Asidera in private – and that would lead to an eye-to-eye conversation in which Sun should’ve told him everything and he wasn’t quite sure what to say other than “I’m curious. I want to know more. I want to _see_ more”. Not a king-like attitude at all.

But there were other fae he might contact, closer than he thought. And one of them was Namine – Kairi’s sister and second High Gardener at his court. Contrary to her sister (who was a feral spirit always on the foot of war, given how many times she had tried to challenge Roxas), Namine was much more rational and calm. She was checking the rose arches when Sun met her, his pressing questions already pending from his lips even before saying a quick hello.

Namine smiled. « If this is about Moon, I’m sorry to disappoint, Lea, but I cannot help you. My sister and I have never seen his realm.»

« How do you know I’m asking about Moon?»

« Roxas told me. If I’m not mistaken, he went to Asidera and told them as well.»

Sun sighed. What outcome could he possibly expect from a trickster fae who’s got told not to tell anybody about something?

« You’re very curious about this matter,» continued Namine, caressing the outer petals of a rose, briefly inspecting their veins before passing to another right after. « Something’s on your mind?» she asked.

Lea sighed. « Just… simple curiosity. I heard stories about him.»

« What did you hear?»

Sun told her, looking at Namine walking through every arch, her dress stained with dirt and not caring in the slightest. He told her about everything he heard from Sora, the stories that his crew re-enact so well. Namine didn’t say a word until he finished.

« I understand your curiosity,» was the only thing she said for a while, walking right next to him: she was definitely smaller than he was, but even back in his previous life Namine had always been particularly petite and tiny compared to anyone else. « And I also understand why you want to hide all of this from Asidera: they can be quite nagging sometimes.» Namine giggled at her own joke. « But everything they do, they do it to serve you at the best of their abilities, trust me on that.»

« I know,» huffed Lea, jumping onto a stone bench and walking on it until he reached the edge, « I’m just… let’s keep this between us, okay?». When he saw Namine nodding, Sun shot her a sideway look. « You’re not gonna play me dirty like Roxas did, right?»

Namine laughed. « I’m not like him. Roxas feeds on tricks and lies, I don’t.» She returned serious, caressing the crowns of the flowers she had collected during their walk. They kept walking in silence, Namine humming a pretty song while they went on.

« My son considers me obsessed» Lea said, sitting on that sort of patio’s banister on a small hill, looking directly at the open sea all laid out in front of him. Namine didn’t seat, but she stood close at his side.

« You told me: you’re just curious. It’s just strange you are now. As far as I know, Moon’s kingdom had never stirred an ounce of personal interest in you.»

« I know, but—» Lea couldn’t put it into words. At first it was only his voice that attracted much of his interest in Moon’s persona. But now with all the stories about the coldness of his realm? About him? How could someone _not_ be curious about knowing more and not being frustrated about the whole secrecy of it? Lea didn’t know whether he was finding it frustrating or made him just more interested in Moon’s lands. Or a combination of the two. « I don’t know. I just want to know more.»

Namine nodded. « I hope you know what you’re doing, Lea.»

« Nothing’s happening, Namine, relax,» he laughed.

« I know,» she said, starting to return on the path so she could resume her work. « Just be careful. Sometimes we really do get what we’re wishing for.» And from her tone, Namine seemed to talk for experience.

Lea didn’t dwell on that. He looked her walk away before returning his eyes to the sea, thinking about the next time it might have been wise to hear from Moon without Asidera or Roxas intruding.

The occasion came three days later.

« First Eye, I hope you didn’t just call me to ask me about the weather.»

Sun actually did and instantly felt like a child being scolded by another adult – the feeling was very similar to what he felt most of the time when talking to Asidera.

« Well, it’s important to know what’s the weather like to keep up… a perfect trade.»

Moon’s silence was a stunned one and Sun didn’t need to see him to know what he was actually thinking about Lea.

« A perfect trade?»

Sun nodded. « Yes. Quality is important here!»

On the other side, Lea couldn’t hear a sound and for a moment he really thought Moon had just taken off his mask and walked away.

« It’s… cold. And dark, First Eye. As you might know by now, my kingdom doesn’t know light but the faint one I provide.»

Lea tried to imagine a place like this: where it’s always dark and the only person you’d have to thank for the faintest light was the one who had chosen to stay in the dark. If Lea had to explain to someone what it means the burden of the crown, that would be it.

« If that is all, First Eye—»

« I’ve never felt cold.» Lea’s voice came out more like a squeak than anything else. Moon’s voice had sounded annoyed, but Sun wanted to keep up the conversation a moment longer. Just a minute longer to hear more, to take away more information from his lips. He chuckled. « I don’t think I had ever felt cold.»

Moon didn’t say anything for a while, but there was a tension that Sun was sure wasn’t there before.

When Moon talked, his voice betrayed a level of annoyance and anger that left Sun speechless. « I’m sure of it, First Eye. I must go now.» And with that, the conversation got cut off and Lea remained in silence with his thoughts, huffing into his mask. Now he had another problem to solve.

In the midst of dealing with his personal matters, like receiving the Masters from the Provinces and reading their reports on the state of their towns during the Long Sleep, Lea tried to talk to him again two days later ( _« No, First Eye, the lights attached to the sky, as you call them, are called stars. I’m sure you have heard of it, they’re visible when it’s night. Didn’t you want to talk about the Guardians at the Veil?»)_ and again two days after ( _« Yes, First Eye, it’s still night here. No, you didn’t wake me up, First Eye, I don’t keep my mask next to my bed.»_) and again ( _« First Eye, no, I’ve never tried a strawberry before because we do not produce them here and if you think about it long enough, you might understand why.») _and again_ ( « First Eye, we do have flowers, just not your kind of flowers.»)_

For the next two weeks, Lea tried any kind of approach, all more ruinous than the other, stealing piece of information at a time, no matter if that meant making a fool of himself. He thought about the stars in the night sky for a week straight when he heard about that. These tiny lights brightening the dark sky like flames, like the one hanging over the great ballroom.

The next time he heard of him, Sun didn’t even have time to speak a single word.

« First Eye, I hope you’re calling for a good reason this time, I have things to attend to and I’m sure so do you.» He sounded tired, Moon wasn’t even trying anymore to hide his annoyance.

Sun remained with his mouth hanging open. In the euphoria of knowing more, he didn’t realize how annoying those questions could be in the first place, knowing how seclusive that kingdom of his was. Maybe he was finding it all jarring, afraid that he was going to record all this tiny information somewhere and use it somehow – yet they were all so small and pointless, like the kind of flowers they could grow and the weather and _the stars_ in the sky. But maybe to someone else, all this pointless information was jewels to sell to the best bidder.

Sun hadn’t thought about many things in his curiosity.

« Fir—»

« There’s a vast ocean here.»

Sun blurted out the words before he could think about it. If Moon was afraid of how many information he was sharing with him, Sun would’ve have given him much to talk about once he took the mask out.

« There’s this big terrace where you can see the plaza and the streets and every house of my city. And if you turn around, there’s the sea. This… vastness of water that opens up in front of your eyes and goes for miles and miles to no end.» Still silence from the other side; but if Lea concentrated, he could hear Moon’s soft breathing in his ears. He kept going. « With the right light, it seems like someone had just poured diamonds on the surface, all sparkling and everything. It’s a sight.»

The silence stretched long enough and Sun was ready to throw the mask away – talking about the ocean like Moon could actually care.

« I’ve never seen the ocean before.»

Sun halted his hands on the helmet. He thought he heard wrong and when he was about to ask, Moon spoke once again.

« There are books here talking about this _ocean_,» Lea smiled at that: Moon pronounced it like he wasn’t sure about the sound of it, tasting it like a wine his tongue had never touched before. He found it adorable. « But this is the first time I hear about it. Thank you.»

Moon sounded like he was really trying to picture this vastness of salty water, going on for miles without actually seeing its end. Sun hoped he could describe as well as the poet do just to show him what he had grown so fond of. But nature hadn’t gifted him of that talent so his words had to do. The annoyance in Moon’s voice was long gone, replaced with a neutrality that could give away to interest in due time.

Sun wasn’t able to stop from smiling for the rest of the day.

To Moon’s much relief, Sun kept their conversations much sparse, waiting for longer period of time before actually talking to him and usually, to Moon’s much surprise, their conversation entailed their own business with one another – what could Sun offer in the future, what Moon could offer in exchange. And amidst this new trading conversation, they still found time to talk about amenities – mostly it was Sun doing the talking: about the main plaza, the smell of fresh bread coming through the window, the sound of the bells. Moon kept quiet during this stories, not making a single sound, like he was taking it all in.

It didn’t matter if Moon wasn’t talking much about his land: Lea didn’t pressure him and didn’t ask either. They found a balance in this newfound relationship.

« What are you trying to do exactly?»

Sun basically jumped from his place when he took the helmet off and found himself staring right into Roxas’ blue eyes, the corner of his lips slightly curled in a inquisitive expression.

« Taking my mask off?»

Windriser’s frown deepened, following him around when Lea got up from the pillow he was sitting in. Roxas crossed his arms, walking out of the room with Sun in front of him. « This isn’t the first time I see you sneaking into the mask’s room, what are you trying to do?»

« Now I’m trying to get away from you because you’re pestering me,» said Sun, walking briskly down the corridors and trying to put as much distance as possible between each other. Roxas seemed to keep up well with the pace, arms still crossed, eyebrows furrowed. He kept following all the way around, no matter if he went to see another Master, into a room, into his own Spring: he was a dog with a bone to chew on.

« I’m tired of this game,» Roxas said, halting his steps, « what’s going on? Why do you keep talking to him? And don’t say pressing economic matters, I know you’re lying, otherwise Master of Trade would be here with you.» When Sun kept looking at him in silence, head tilting to the side, Windriser scoffed, shaking his head. « You’re playing with something way bigger than you.»

Lea chuckled. « You’ve read too much into Sora’s stories.»

« No, I’m just being cautious, I told you: I’ve met things like him,» and he walked toward him: Sun had never seen him so serious, like the matter at hand was of utmost importance and Lea wasn’t listening enough – which was in part truthful. « You’re not being careful.»

« His kingdom is our ally and friend since the beginning of time, Roxas, it’s not like I _cannot_ trust him.»

« I’m just saying you shouldn’t tell him more than it is wise.»

Sun watched him with calculating gaze. Windriser had proved times and times again his capacity to voice his _strong_ opinions when he wanted to make a point – he wasn’t exactly worried, but there was a fretness in his voice, a rigidity in his shoulders, in the way he was standing in front of him with his arms crossed. Lea gave him a smile, putting a hand on his shoulder.

« Roxas, it’s fine.»

« No, you’re just dumb, you’re not getting it, it’s not—»

« Windriser.»

And the wind outside died down instantly. Roxas was no fool. He could be a dangerous fae, pulling tricks and spilling lies, but he’d also come to know Sun: with him, he could pull the rope as much as he wanted, he just had to be careful not to hang himself with it. And from that firm grip onto his shoulder, Roxas knew he just pressed the wrong button, pulled too much of a stunt, doubted too much than it was wise.

« I understand your worries and we’ll discuss about it in due time. But I ask you to be careful with your words when talking about matters that do not concern you directly.»

Roxas’ eyes moved from the hand on his shoulder to Lea. The soft, warm prickling of Sun’s touch, oozing from his fingertips didn’t elude him. « I’m pretty sure this matter concerns us all directly, First Eye. It’s a hazard. I’m just warning you. I hope you know what you’re doing.» And with that, he shrugged his hand off himself and walked past him, tired of their games and conversations spent.

Lea shook his head. Maybe he was right, maybe he was being careless, but when did that ever stop him from doing whatever he wanted to do? Furthermore, the Moon he talked with was a figure so far away from the one the merchant crew depicted: when talking about him, it all seemed like something coming out from a cautionary tale to warn naughty children. But Sun had the feeling that whatever Moon was hiding, it was doing it for a much more important cause.

_Isn’t it always for the good of the people? _

How could a man so surprised by the concept of the ocean and so appalled by the idea of yellow flowers turning their crowns when Sun passed by be something frightful and to be scared of? If anything, Moon had just made him more curious about the whole deal.

He walked toward his chambers, the distant sound of the waves in his ears and the smell of flowers coming from the garden. Surprisingly enough, Sun wished Moon was there to feel the same things he was feeling right now, walking down the corridor and looking out at a blue sky.

Something changed a few weeks later.

Moon seemed distracted in their conversation – one which Asidera and the Master of Trade attended to. Moon sounded like he was actually listening with one ear, replying with quick responses and letting Sun leading the discussion for a while. He wasn’t making any comment – unusual from his parts, considering he had always been particularly vocal about economics and social issues – and he was letting silence stretch for a few seconds longer before saying anything, voice deep but not stable like once.

« Is something on your mind, Moon?»

This was the first time Moon actually responded instantly. « I apologize, First Eye. I don’t mean to sound dismissive.»

« You have a lot on your mind?»

Few seconds of silence.

« Yes,» Moon responded. His voice now sounded quick, like he was talking to ten different people and was now remembering Sun was also there. « I suppose I have.»

Sun still had Asidera and the Master of Trade in front of him – he didn’t need to take off the mask to know they were still there. But Moon seemed actually worried.

« Moon.» Sun called him and from the other side, he heard the king making an acknowledging sound. « I promise, I don’t have any other reason to ask you this but honest concern about you and your people’s well-being: is something on your mind? I can feel you very worried.»

On the other side, Moon was silent, but Sun could feel his breathing – he wasn’t as regular as any other time. He sounded anxious.

« Celestial, I can help you at the best of my abilities, but this will only happen if you talk to me. I promise I won’t disclose any information you’re going to give me to anyone but my Masters.»

He didn’t need to see him to know how loud the wheels in his mind were spinning, how fast his heart was beating. Sun knew he put him in an uncomfortable position: he asked him to talk about personal matters regarding his kingdom, which was close to everyone’s eyes, hidden just like Moon’s face. He could have seen this as a breach of trust, pressing him into giving out information with the bait of aiding. But Sun was truthful: he heard his worry; Moon wouldn’t give away his emotions so easily if it weren’t for an emergency.

And he could guess why he was so worried.

_For the good of the people, uh?_

_Isn’t it always for the good of the people? _

« Moon.» He called again when the silence stretched out, so loud it became deafening.

After a long while in which Sun himself didn’t dare to breath, Moon finally spoke.

« We’re fine, First Eye. Thank you for your concern. I must go now.» And Sun didn’t have the time to tell him anything else, because the conversation was over and there was nothing more to say. When he took off his mask, Asidera was looking at him halfway between surprise and curiosity.

« Master of Trade, you may go. Thank you for your wise advices,» and with that, Sun bowed briefly his head before getting up from the pillow. The Master bowed before leaving, understanding his presence wasn’t needed anymore and was even unnecessary for the new matter at hand. The moment he closed the door behind him, Asidera talked.

« What’s happening?»

Sun shook his head. « I’d tell you if I knew. There was something off with Moon, he sounded very worried.»

Asidera tilted their head slightly, like the whole thing puzzled them. « That is strange. Moon is not one to show worry. Or any other emotions, for that matter.»

Lea looked at them even more puzzled than before. « Since when you know things about Moon?»

« Did you ask me?»

« No, because nobody seems to know nothing on the matter.»

Asidera’s expressions betrayed something that was very similar to indignity. « I’m the Master of Star. I always have a bit of information on something. You just need to ask, First Eye.»

Sun exhaled a frustrated sigh: of course the only person who had a shred of information was also the one he hadn’t thought of asking in fear of their reaction. He ran a hand through his hair, nervous about the whole affair. Moon’s worried voice haunted him, the firmness in his tone when saying “we’re fine” when Sun knew nothing was fine. Moon wouldn’t be so worried over nothing.

« First Eye,» Asidera cut his train of thought, requesting his attention, « Moon is a very proud king. And his people even more so. He thinks he can do this on his own because he had never needed any kind of help since he had shone through the first night. His very existence had taught him he can count on just one person and that’s himself.»

Sun tried not to dwell too much on that thought: it spoke too loudly of loneliness and that made the whole thing so unfair he could feel his heart clench into his chest. Sun, who had always have a complex and crowded network of help all around him, so different from Moon who had always seen anyone else as a liability, who had all kinds of responsibilities on his shoulders.

Lea shook his head. « I just want to help.»

« I know, First Eye. Your heart is in the right place,» Asidera told him, showing a hint of a smile on their lips, « but Moon won’t accept your help, he will see it as pity.» They got up from their place, fixing the long robe around them. « Do not worry, First Eye. He had faced many storms before: he will be fine.»

Lea just hoped Asidera was right.

Sun had tried many times to contact Moon over the course of the next day, but he was out of reach. He wasn’t exactly worried, Asidera made their point pretty clear and Sun was trying his best to understand from his point of view that unshakeable pride, that spirit that refused to bend under the burden. He plunged himself into work, consulting with the Master for any kind of news or problem, filing reports, signing them.

And that’s exactly what Lea was doing when Asidera came bursting through the door, finding him on the ground surrounded by stacks of parchments, papers and whatnot. Sun had the feather behind his ear, going through the document one last time when he raised his eyes: Asidera seemed shaken, like they had just ran through the entire castle to find him. They went directly for his wardrobe, not waiting for him to say a word.

« Dress yourself properly and come downstairs right this second.»

« Asidera, what—»

Asidera wasn’t paying attention. They undressed him like Sun was some kind of doll, not listening to complaints or reprimands, stuffing him into a tight, fancy robe with a high collar and putting the first big jewels they had found lying around. Then they pushed him out of the door and directed him toward the council room, basically sprinting toward it. Lea was finding it especially hard to keep the pace with them.

Inside the room, the murmuring of his Masters sounded much like the buzz of a beehive, his two preferred Attendants the only ones actually silent. They were too intent in looking rather curiously at the figure at the centre of the room. They were all covered in a black cloak, heavy with water. Sun wondered instantly where the hell they were coming from to have this much rain on their clothes.

He walked on ahead, standing among the Masters and in front of the cloaked figure. When he did, the figure went instantly to their knees.

« Please, don’t,» Lea said instantly, taking a single step forward as to stop them to do that. He hated seeing people bowing in front of him, that kind of reverence he had tried to teach his people not to do – given how fast the person went down, they had to be a foreigner. No one from his kingdom would’ve done so.

The figure rose once again.

« First Eye, I salute you.»

It was a female voice. She sounded like words were stuck in her throat and was having a hard time getting them out. When she pulled down her hood, the silence became almost deafening. Asidera’s shoulder had almost a nervous twitch, much like a spasm or a shudder.

« My name is Xion, First Eye. I’m Moon’s only daughter.»

Sun knew he had to say something. He had to at least show some king-like attitude, bowing his head, going to her and welcome her into his home. He knew there were thousand of things he could do. And yet his feet were stuck in their place, he couldn’t move a single muscle out of that space.

_Moon’s only daughter_. That tiny thing, with short, dark hair and grey eyes, looking up at him expectantly, wearing the heaviest clothes he had ever seen and a sword strapped at her side was Moon’s daughter. She had travelled all the way from Moon’s kingdom, through at least three of his provinces to come at his court and now his tongue was heavy as lead and his body completely frozen.

« I’ve come looking for help on behalf of my father, First Eye.»

« What?»

That was something he shouldn’t have said. Or at least, he could’ve masked the shock in that question.

« What happened to your father?»

« My father is too proud to ask for help from anyone, but I’m not. He doesn’t know I’m here in the first place, but my country has seen enough. There’s a storm raging into our kingdom, like nothing we had seen before. It’s destroying crops, everything.»

Sun’s brain basically stopped at the word _storm_. Judging from Asidera’s expression, they must have understood, too. They called close Leni and Kora and they basically ran for the door, closing it behind them quickly. Xion’s eyes were moving from one Master to another, focusing on their clothes, their faces, inspecting everyone until she reached Sun. She was staring at his big, gold necklace with wide eyes.

He smiled at her when she returned with her gaze on his eyes.

« I know someone who might help your father, Moon’s daughter.»

Lea was sure the smile Xion showed would’ve been able to light up the whole room if it could.

*

When Roxas arrived into the room, Xion stared at him with an inquisitive look, scanning his messy hair and his light clothes much like a scientist might do with a new specimen. Roxas was staring at her like she was trying to decipher a book written in a language he did not fully master, gaze going from her eyes to her sword, to her heavy clothes, a stark contrast to what he was wearing.

« Xion, this is my Designated Son. His name is Roxas.»

Xion bowed her head briefly. Roxas did the same, way more rigidly than her – like he couldn’t bear to take his eyes off her; like he couldn’t afford to trust her just yet. It was an unusual attitude coming from him: not that Roxas was trusting of anyone he met, but he had always tried to conceal his doubts and mistrusting. This time he looked like he had a hard time doing it in front of her.

« Roxas, I’m sending you to Moon’s kingdom. You will leave immediately.»

Windriser turned his head to him, a stunned look on his face. « Care to tell me the reason why?»

« Someone is bringing chaos onto his lands. I need you to solve this.»

« Why me?»

« Whom else might I send to deal with one of your kinds?»

At that, Roxas froze into place, staring right at Lea like he was the cause of everything that was happening in Moon’s kingdom. He could see the tension in his shoulders, the rigid stance. He was trying to control himself under the scrutiny of everyone else in the room. Xion was still beside him, arms crossed behind her back, shoulders squared. She looked like a soldier ready to march.

Sun tilted his head slightly to the side. « Leave us.»

Everyone happily obliged, seeing how tense the atmosphere had gotten. The only ones that remained into the room were Lea, Roxas, Xion and Asidera. The moment the doors closed behind them, Roxas approached him, arms rigid behind his back – Lea couldn’t help but wonder if he did that to hide the trembling in his arms and he knew he wasn’t out of fear, but pure rage.

« You think it’s my fault?»

Sun shook his head, the hoops on his ears clinking softly in the silence of the room. « I would never think that, Roxas. I know your cousin and your consideration of them. I called you because I truly think you’re the only one who can reason with him.»

Roxas made a face at that, scoffed. « You know you don’t exactly _talk_ with Tempest.»

Lea smiled. A mischievous thing that resonated instantly with Windriser, showing a row of white, perfect teeth.

« Well, then I guess reason is off the table. You may confront him as you see fit.»

*

Roxas had always wanted an outlet, something which could help him stir that energy he had inside, that fire that was waiting for a spark. And now he found it. He had never changed clothes so quickly, basically sprinting back to his room, catching the first things that came into his hands and getting out, cape hanging on one side, blond hair everywhere. Upon seeing him, Sun let out a laugh.

« At least be presentable,» Lea said, fixing his cape around his shoulders and running a hand through his hair. Roxas waved him off.

« Leave it, it’s gonna be all over the place by the time we reach the Veil.»

« Are you sure you don’t want me to come with?»

Windriser smirked: Sun was trying so hard to sound aloof enough, but he knew he would’ve traded his whole garden to just get a peak of the other side of the Veil. He understood the curiosity, he had even indulged it the previous days, but now it was misplaced.

« It’s something between me and my kin, Lea,» Roxas replied, stepping out of the castle with Sun at his side. Outside, the wind seemed to pick up at his clothes like it was mirroring the excitement Windriser was feeling in the same moment, begging him to join them and let go. Xion was waiting for him at the edge of the stairs: her stance betrayed a tension that wasn’t there before when they were inside. He couldn’t tell if it was for the hot weather or the nervousness in being in a kingdom that wasn’t her own. Roxas wondered briefly if he had ever travelled so far away before. He cast her out of her mind. « I know how to deal with him,» he added, turning once again his thought toward Lea.

Sun didn’t say anything but Windriser could see the signs of worry at the corner of his eyes, the deep lines edged into his forehead. He didn’t have any words of comfort to offer him: confrontation between fae was common and with Tempest it was almost ordinary administration. He had nothing to fear. And Roxas was _eager_ to meet his chaotic cousin.

« Besides, you should be happy, I’m visiting Moon’s kingdom.»

« There’s no need to rub it in my face, you know?»

Roxas laughed and let Lea bring him close for a hug. Roxas wasn’t particularly fond of touching, he didn’t like having hands on his skin. But Sun has always been particularly affectionate with him, ruffling his hair, pinching his ear: the things a father would do to pester a child and that Roxas hated until it became tolerable at best. Windriser smiled into his shoulder when Sun gave him a hard squeeze before letting him go.

« Don’t do anything stupid,» Lea said, pushing him affectionately away from his chest. He winked at him. « Go kick his ass, kiddo.»

Roxas laughed again at that. Sometimes hearing that word “kid” wasn’t so jarring and this time the only thing he felt was a surge of affection toward his father. He turned around toward Xion, leaning his head to the side as to tell her to follow him down the stairs.

« Don’t you have a chocobo?» Xion asked, getting on her own ride and looking down at Roxas.

He laughed at that, a hand caressing softly the beak of the chocobo while keeping the reins in the others. The beast cooed at him. « I won’t need one.» He gave her the reins back. « Keep riding. Don’t worry if you don’t see me. Just keep going.»

And with that, they were off.

*

Roxas found that way of travelling frustrating by the end of the first day and two to go. If he was alone, he would’ve already been at the Veil, but Xion couldn’t travel the same way he did. She had kept up a good pace for a while, until her chocobo eventually refused to take even a single step further and deciding to just nest there and fall asleep. Xion couldn’t do anything about it: she took the rest she could, waking up after a few hours of rest, like she was unable to stand still.

While she was sleeping, body all curled against her black chocobo and the sword resting between her arms like a treasure to protect, Roxas was still trying to understand what was so off about her. There was something that didn’t read as fae. Something definitely strange.

_What are you? _

They arrived in Meridiana two days later.

If there was something that would always steal his breath and made him feel like the tiniest boy in the world, that was the Veil. The Guardians at the side of it moved instantly when they saw them, Windriser showing quickly the royal seal onto the parchment and the bracelet at his wrist – the only thing that signalled his close relationship with Sun. The Guardians let them through without a word, opening the Veil.

Moon’s realm would’ve been a sight any other day (night?), Roxas was sure of it: but now the sky was so dark and the rain so heavy, the castle in the distance looked like the wreckage of a ship. He couldn’t see any of those lights attached far above. When he actually walked through, stepping onto Moon’s land, the wind almost knocked him off – he was starting to understand why Moon had sounded so worried to Sun’s ears. The cold was so harsh Roxas’ first instinct was to wrap his arms around himself – it was a biting cold that made breathing harder, like his lungs would start to freeze the more he breathed in.

The wind was howling loud, to anyone else it might have sounded like a ghost haunting the halls of a forsaken castle or the wail of a mother. But Roxas knew that high-pitched sound that almost pierced his ears.

It was the shrill of a laugh.

Xion at his sight seemed unfazed by all of that, her chocobo bowing his head by the sheer force of the wind. « We’ve never seen anything like it.»

Roxas looked around the dark clouds up ahead, searching for a familiar figure floating in that black starless sea. He couldn’t see any. « My cousin strives for grandeur.»

He started to run.

Nobody sensible enough would’ve been in the streets and Roxas luckily enough found any. While crossing the main streets toward the castle, he found the wrecks of what it might have been the market – fruits and any kind of edible food onto the ground, battered or squashed; useless now anyway. On the ground he found a piece of blue fabric, all torn and wet, stuck under a fallen bench – there was a symbol on it that Roxas couldn’t recognize anymore. The thunder came so suddenly the crash almost pierced his ears, bowing his head under the force of it. Xion’s chocobo let out a loud, terrified squeak.

_That piece of shit, I’m gonna take his heart out and eat it. _

They ran toward the castle’s stables – Roxas was surprised to find them still standing. There were a couple of chocobos trembling in their stalls, their heads all bowed. Xion put hers in an empty stall, caressing his neck one more time before closing him inside.

« Follow me,» she said, climbing up the stairs leading to the castle.

Turned out, Moon’s castle was a labyrinth of corridors and halls and doors. He would’ve got lost a couple of times if it wasn’t for Xion leading the way, basically sprinting down the halls, their fretful steps echoing on the walls. A sharp turn to the right, up the stairs. Xion’s breath had started to come out more laboured than before, and Windriser couldn’t tell if it was out of tiredness or fear.

« Here,» Xion huffed, pushing the doors in front of her open.

And for the first time in many lifetimes, Windriser could actually see Moon.

Roxas had imagined Moon in many ways, given the stories he heard: a being so tall that reached the ceiling, a thing that could settle fear inside your chest the first second you lay your eyes upon his gigantic figure, and every breath was enough to cause a hurricane. He imagined him surrounded by terrified servants who were too scared to even raise their heads, with their backs constantly bent, shivering all over.

Instead, in front of him, there was just someone the size of a man. Veiled and covered in heavy clothes, the fanciest things Roxas had ever seen, yes, but still the size of a man. He had a shock of blue hair coming down his shoulders and onto his chest and on the top of his head rested a silver, thin crown with a white, opalescent circle right in the middle. He couldn’t see his face. Roxas wondered if under that veil there were really thousands of eyes, a mouth so big to swallow the whole world. He exuded power, that was sure, from the way he was sitting on that white throne to the deafening silence of the room, the heavy atmosphere.

« Father.»

Xion was the first one to talk, making a beeline for Moon’s throne. And with all the carelessness in the word, like that was the most natural gesture known to humanity, Xion threw her arms forward and hugged him. With the same simplicity, Moon did the exact, same thing: he circled her shoulders and held her close. Roxas was feeling kind of light-headed, like all the information were coming at him at a high speed and he was too slow to take them all in, every new thing seen in this new realm feeling it much like a punch to the stomach. They started to talk about something but his mind was too unfocused to actually pay attention to their conversation.

Roxas had the sudden and urgent need to lie down for the next ten years. He found his voice again when Xion turned toward him.

« First Eye sends me,» he said with a thin voice. « I’m his Designated Son. I know who’s responsible for this chaos,» and while he was talking, Roxas took off his cape, heavy with water. He took it between his hands and squeezed. The sound of water splashing onto the pavement filled the room. His brain was starting to function once again.

« You know?» came a voice from one corner of the room.

Roxas nodded, taking the corner of his soft shirt and squeezing.

« That one,» said Roxas, leaning his head toward the window, to the dark clouds up ahead and the loud thunders piercing his ears, taunting him, « is Vanitas, I call him “fucker” for short. And he’s my wretched, awful cousin who’s about to get the ass kicking of the century.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ vanitas i will give you everything you want my tiny chaotic son now go bring havoc just for the hell of it 
> 
> title from "don't threaten me with a good time" // panic! at the disco


	8. cut from marble, smoother than a storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen,, i really, really love. unhinged fae spirits. so. there you have it.
> 
> _**Warning**_: _graphic violence, blood_

« Why is he doing this?»

The question came from a man wearing a necklace with a coin as a pendant – maybe a Master. It was an old man with a beard white as a sheet and lines of old age and tiredness were edged along his forehead and at the corner of his eyes. Windriser briefly wondered how many nights have passed with that storm raging outside, not knowing what to do but waiting for it to pass just like any other storm. Such a shame they had the misfortune to encounter a chaotic spirit who fed on ruins and wreckage.

« He doesn’t need a reason,» Roxas responded, moving his eyes from the old man to the other people around, setting his gaze on Moon, « Vanitas is a malicious fae, he doesn’t have to explain why he’s wreaking havoc when it is in his nature to do so. There’s no weight in gold or portion of land that will sate him.»

A murmur stretched along the people in the room. There were only three people who stayed in their places, not moving a single muscle, not leaning into the whispers and the buzz of the room: Moon, who was sitting imperturbable on his white throne; Xion, standing right next to him, eyes scanning the room like she expected the threat to jump out all of sudden. And then another man, the one with black hair and dressed much lighter than any of them; he was regarding Roxas with a calculating gaze.

« What does he want then?» he asked.

Roxas shrugged. « A challenge.» He narrowed his eyes, gaze going from the large pants he was wearing all up toward his large shoulders. « You didn’t try.»

The man shook his head. « I’m not the one he’s looking for,» and Roxas instantly knew what he meant. He shook his head, smiling: of course Tempest wasn’t looking for any fae. He wasn’t looking for any challenge. He was looking specifically for him. He carefully folded the cape between his hands and put it aside, under the careful scrutiny of everybody else in the room.

« A word of advice,» and focused his eyes on the only person who he knew was fae for sure; and that was the man in the lighter clothes. He approached him, taking the earrings off. « The storm will get worse. Find shelter on the lower floors and don’t come out of there until the storm has passed.»

« Will you need any help?»

Roxas shook his head, dropping the earrings and the thin necklace he took off on his folded cape. « It will only get on his nerves… I mean, _more_ on his nerves. And as you said, he’s not looking for you.» The man in front of him bowed briefly his head. After that, Roxas went to the door windows, the balcony that dominated the entire city. He put his hands on the handles and pulled.

Outside, the rain had only gotten worse. The dark clouds above had locked the land in an impenetrable darkness that was making seeing around actually difficult and the thunders were rare cracks that allowed an inch of light before plunging the land into darkness once more. The wind was not exactly out of Roxas’ control, but it would take some effort to ride the currents like he usually did. When he dropped down the balcony, the landing was a bit off, making him drop way too fast onto the roof of a house, gripping the tiles and holding onto it – the sensation that someone had just pulled the breeze out of his hands didn’t elude him.

The main streets allowed a clear vision, but Roxas just knew Vanitas wouldn’t be so magnanimous to have a fair fight in plain sight: he would use the battering rain and the darkness to his advantage, pushing him into the narrower streets and in places where he couldn’t have use winds so easily. In Sun’s kingdom, roofs were flat, so that people could use them as terraces for their flowers or some vegetables to grow; but here Roxas had to confront with roofs built in height, no possibility to run around in their length – another advantage in a place where pros where being crushed by cons by the minute.

He raised his head, searching for a familiar figure once more. That was another thing: Roxas couldn’t see in dark places. But Vanitas could.

He jumped from the roof, trying to reach the other directly in front of him. It was higher, it would’ve have guaranteed a way clearer vision.

He made the jump. And he didn’t actually make it that far.

The blow arrived so suddenly Roxas didn’t even understand what was happening until he found himself rolling onto the cobbles, head buzzing. He crashed directly into a knocked cart, whatever was inside toppling over him – food that once had been edible until someone came into the picture. He got up instantly, heart thumping right against the vocal chords.

And in the middle of the road, with his jet-black hair and golden eyes, stood Tempest.

« Hey, cousin.»

*

_[ « Com’on, cousin, let’s go!»_

_The sky wasn’t a perfect blue and there weren’t stars either. The winds were always pretty strong, like they could whisk the whole clan away in a moment and the grey clouds constantly covered the sky above their heads. There was no common tongue and the language they spoke was very similar to the howling of the wind between the trees, the roar of the raging skies. _

_« If you want to cross the ocean again, I’m definitely not coming.» The voice was coming amidst the top of the trees, somewhere in the dark of the branches. It was in a very specific place over an oak and then nowhere and then everywhere around them. _

_« It will be fun! There’s nothing to do here anyway!» And their voice was nothing more than a whisper and then a howl and a secret. _

_« You could challenge me, if you want something fun to do.»_

_A roar. « No! I’m tired of that game! I want more_! I want more!_»_

_Roxas wasn’t Roxas and Vanitas wasn’t Vanitas yet. Neither of them had any reason to take human form and speak the common tongue. They were still young fae and they still had a clan to call their own. A human might have called that place home, but neither of them knew that kind of word. _

_Simpler times.]_

*

« I thought you’d never come, cousin, it’s been like… five nights already.» Vanitas’ talk was off. It wasn’t common tongue, like the one Roxas used to communicate with his father. That was another language, something Roxas hadn’t used in so long it almost felt awkward onto his tongue.

It was their own.

« Wow, can’t believe you learnt how to count at the young age of five millions-years-old, Van,» Roxas commented in common tongue – he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, no matter how many memories that language was bringing to his mind. He was able to get up from the wrecked cart with no problem and no broken bone (_yet_).« You’d make auntie proud.»

When Vanitas laughed, a lightning brightened the sky above them, the only, brief thing that actually allowed Windriser to look at his cousin. Tempest wasn’t that different from how he remembered them to be: neither his hair nor his clothes seemed touched by the rain, looking as dry as if they were standing under the scorching sun. Aside from his hands and his face, Tempest’s clothes were designed so that not an inch of skin was visible – a smart choice for someone who didn’t want to be seen.

« Won’t you come here and hug your cousin? It’s been far too long since the last time I saw you.» And he opened his arms as if Roxas would really go and hug him.

« Van, don’t you have anything better to do? I don’t know, have you tried not being the missing link between vermin and minor fae?»

Tempest’s smile was unwavering but he could see he struck a nerve. He was wearing golden bracelets around his arms, not glinting with the same bright colour of Sun’s jewels and even showing what it might have looked like tar, as if Vanitas’ skin was spoiling the gold and making it rotten. The choker around his neck was exactly the same, like pitch had started to seep through it, the same miasma that Roxas had come to know while living with Vanitas for centuries before leaving.

« Go away, Tempest,» Windriser said, running a hand through his wet hair to keep it away from his forehead. « There’s nothing for you here.»

Vanitas’ head tilted to the side slowly and then stopped. It was such a mechanic movement, so unnatural, Roxas felt shivers going down his back. There’s always been something about his cousin that wasn’t right, like he had never truly adjusted to his human form and didn’t want to.

« You’re selling yourself short, cousin. You’re not “nothing” to me.» The lightning that came down showed one side of his face, the large grin that seemed to go all the way back. A nightmarish vision that was gone the moment the street got plunged into darkness once again. « We had the best fun together. It’s been so long you don’t remember?»

Roxas let out a long, pained sigh. « Vanitas, aren’t you tired?»

« We didn’t even start.» And he took a single step forward.

« _Vanitas_.» He said again and he just knew what was going to be the answer to that.

One moment he was sure Tempest was right in front of him, arms on his sides and a smile on his lips. But the next, his cousin was dangerously close, enough to see his wide mouth up close, the rotten row of teeth, the foul smell of his jewels – sulphur. When Roxas dropped in a crouch few feet aside, rain battering hard as ever, he knew what moved him was all instinct, the primal urge to survive.

Vanitas should’ve turned around to see him. But instead, he decided to look at Roxas over his shoulder, a cruel smirk on his lips. And then his head kept going and going and _going still_, the soft crackling of bones following the movement, until his face was actually all turned toward Windriser. Roxas fought back the urge to gag at the sight.

« I’m gonna give you… a _head_ start.» And Vanitas laughed at the joke, turning the rest of his body around. « I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.»

He knew what that entailed.

« Vanitas, I’m _warning_ you—» The words died in his mouth. He didn’t notice the movement, but he felt it when the blow sent him flying over the roof of a house, tiles coming undone, digging into his back like thorns. It took him several seconds to remember the location of his own limbs, how his spine should work. Vanitas was standing in the middle of the road, arm raised – in the back of his head, a voice told Roxas that there was something definitely wrong with the length of his limb, forearm way too long.

There was something trickling from his cheek that didn’t feel like rain. When he put his fingers to it, blood tainted the tips.

« I’m out of warnings, Roro,» Vanitas said and there was something almost metallic in his voice, like the dragging of claws onto steel. When he started to move toward him, Roxas was already jumping onto the nearest roof, black claws gripping tightly the place where he was lying few seconds ago, a snarl following him behind.

Using the wind to his advantage had never been so difficult. Vanitas was pushing whenever Roxas was trying to pull the breeze to his control and pulling when Windriser needed a push for the nearest ledge. The hard rain was making his grip only more slippery, getting away from Tempest’s claws out of sheer luck, trying to think of something, anything. His brain was not working properly, like it was constantly short-circuiting every time he thought he could feel Vanitas’ breath just above his shoulder.

Confronting Vanitas was all fun and games until you didn’t meet him when he was already on edge. And Roxas had the misfortune to meet him at the worst of times, when he had been waiting for five nights straights and already unhinged.

The grip around his ankle arrived so suddenly Roxas couldn’t help the yelp that went past his lips. He slipped onto the tiles, dropping right onto his temple before getting dragged to the ground. The fall knocked his breath out, staring right into Tempest’s yellow eyes, the pupils all blown out, like a cat enjoying a brief game before swallowing whole his prey.

Vanitas’ skin, which minutes before was stark white, had started turning into a black-ish colour, starting from the jaw and going in tendrils toward the centre of his face. And now that they were closer, Roxas could actually see it wasn’t his arms that have gotten longer: the nails had; long enough to be ropes, blotched red where the roots meet fingers. Roxas couldn’t understand if they were still growing out or if they were moving on their own volition, sliding around like snakes. How could he forget how hideous his form could get?

« Com’on, Roro, I know you can do better than that.» The smell of sulphur was even stronger now that they were close, Windriser could actually see blotches of what looked like ink or pitch onto the choker he had around his neck. Tempest’s smile was unnaturally wide: but then again, nothing really felt natural about his cousin, even with his half-human form.

Roxas made a face at him, disgust pinching the corner of his lips. « Didn’t auntie tell you not to bare your teeth so close to a kin’s face?» And with that, he bashed his head against Vanitas hard enough to feel his brain rattle into his skull, the crack of bones ringing into his ears. Vanitas fell back with a pained cry, arm going to cover his face while Roxas rolled away, head still buzzing with the force of the blow.

« Are you done now?» Roxas cried out to him, voice heavily dragging toward him under the battering rain. Vanitas was still on his knees, an arm over his face as to cover the broken nose. « You had your fun, now you can go back home.»

Roxas should’ve know something was wrong the moment the first tiny, piece of ice fell down from the sky. He should’ve sensed something was off when the sky got even darker, black clouds clashing against one another, a dome of darkness falling over the land.

Tempest slowly moved his arm away. And Windriser was able to actually see his face when the thunder struck.

Where it should’ve been a face, now there was a pitch-black thing and a row of sharp razor teeth that took half of his face, mouth so large there were no visible lips. His eyes were glowing yellow in the tar that was Tempest’s face, the white completely engulfed by this bright amber. When he got up, his legs, longer than Windriser remembered, bent unnaturally back at the calf.

He raised his arm, nails dragging onto the ground. When he threw his arm down, the nails snapped onto the cobbles, the slam so violent to leave marks onto the stones. A thunder roared, a clicking sound in the distance.

When Vanitas spoke, in that booming, roaring voice, his mouth didn’t even seem to move, still showing that perfect row of slender and long teeth.

« _We’re just getting started, Roro._»

*

_[Taking a natural form was an effort. It took Windriser a whole month to actually take a natural form, learning how to move, how a human organism worked. It took them a while to master everything, but it turned out fine, especially when it came down to use their powers to their advantage with a human form. Tempest took far longer, hating how tired they could get, always trying to fight the physics behind it. Sparring was even a greater effort, given how many times they could fall for tricks by Windriser and how easily their form could get tired, given how much they were used to push. _

_« Com’on, cousin!» Windriser encouraged them, shifting from one leg to the other. « I know you can do better than that!» Sparring was as easy as it was for Tempest to get riled up with the simplest thing. _

_Tempest roared. « I hate this!» And roared, roared so much their skin became violet and bluish and dark. They roared until their nails became ropes and their eyes became two pools of glowing gold. _

_Windriser hated that. _

_Hated being thrown into a corner because Tempest couldn’t take two minutes of being a human; hated jumping from one tree to another, refusing to show themselves so easily because his cousin was being a shit who couldn’t bear losing and just wanted to scream victory over and over again; hated that constant, close clicking he did from time to time, the pouring rain, the thunders that came whenever they slammed their nails onto the ground; hated being thrown to the ground with their cousin shrieking at the top of their lungs. _

_But there was one thing Windriser loved: the moment of peace after all of it. The moment where they could just sit back in his form and look out at the ocean, watching the thin grey line, the clouds roaring over them. Where they could just imagine who was waiting behind that vastness of water. _

_Windriser came to know it only few centuries later. They shook hands with an entity that wasn’t afraid of fae like him, wasn’t afraid of their long row of teeth or their long cracked legs or their bending back. An entity far stronger than anyone they had ever met before and who was still so interested in having them around until the end of the time and who would’ve given them everything they wanted. _

_« So you’re leaving me.»_

_Tempest’s clouds had started throwing pieces of ice so sharp Windriser could feel their sting over their skin, almost grazing. _

_« I’ve found a place I could call home one day.»_

_« Your home is here with me! We belong together!»_

_« I’ve made a deal with someone. They could give us protection. They ask nothing of us but aid.»_

_« They want to chain us! Why would you want someone to chain the wind?»_

_« You could come with me, Tempest. We’d be happy.»_

_A laugh. A shrill so loud Windriser almost couldn’t take it. _

_« Cousin, what could they possibly want from a storm?»_

_And Windriser realized they were right: nobody wanted a storm inside their homes, a chaotic fae that could destroy crops and kill people if they wanted to. _

_« You could be just wind. Like me.»_

_Tempest laughed. Laughed until the wind howled and the rain started pouring and the thunder came crushing. « I’m chaos, cousin. This is my nature.» _

_And laughed and laughed and _laughed_.]_

*

There was one thing Roxas hated more than anything else: showing his form in a place that wasn’t his home with the chance that someone not sensible enough to stay indoor might come out of the house and see him. A bit of a conundrum really, if it was better keep running around, dodging the nails Vanitas kept using much like a whip, breaking tiles and carts around to get a hold of him, or have an actual chance at survival and shed of his human form to engage in something that was more of a fair fight.

Roxas had always been the smallest fae of their clan, the one that got away easily from other’s grip, who used brain over brawl. But in fighting Tempest none of that mattered: Vanitas was all offence, going all out with no fear of getting any tired, slashing out every time Windriser used his wind to raise himself higher on the roof. Vanitas’ nails at some point grabbed him by the calf, sending him flying onto the cobbles, slamming his whole body against the ground. The impact sent his head buzzing so loud he couldn’t even hear anymore the sound of thunders above him, his body aching in so many places he wasn’t even certain he still had his bones intact.

The wind acted for itself when it whisked Roxas away, a moment before Tempest launched himself onto him. When he raised his head, something that looked like tar was rolling down his cheeks and down still to touch the long row of teeth. He looked like he was crying, but there was something rotten in that sight.

« _Always running,_» roared Vanitas, the language so similar to the howling of the wind among the treetops. « _Com’on, cousin, I want a fair fight._»

« I won’t fight you in that form, Vanitas, this is not home and—»

« _Which one? Ours or whenever your daddy is?_»

Roxas felt the surge of rage right under his skull, hair all raised on his neck, feeling like there was something pushing inside his chest, like a small animal clawing his ribs and threatening to rip them apart to break free. He breathed through the anger, listening to the sound of the pouring rain against the ground. « I asked you to come with me. You refused, Vanitas. Whatever happened after that was the direct result of your choices.»

« _Just because you wear fancy dresses and sleep in comfy beds doesn’t mean you didn’t decide, of your own volition, to chain yourself to someone like some dealing fae._»

« I didn’t chain myself to anyone!» And he had to scream over the raging wind for his voice to reach Vanitas’ ears.

Tempest’s mouth was always baring teeth, always pulled in an unnatural smile, almost a snarl. That only made him angrier at him, almost ready to throw everything out of the window and just _show_ him. « _A golden cage remains a cage, cousin._» And before Roxas had anything else to add, Vanitas had already launched himself onto him, mouth open like a gaping abyss.

He rolled away fast, legs burning for the effort. And that was the only thing that was able to do for a while: dodging and rolling around, the muscles of his legs and arm aching with every pull and push, trying to find a ledge to climb on top of the roofs so he could get a clearer vision. And for a moment, he did: he got a brief boost from the wind and climbed onto the tiles, getting away from Vanitas’ claws for a moment.

He looked around. The streets were even messier than before, broken woods and mud splattered everywhere. And Vanitas was nowhere to be found. The crackling of the thunder almost pierced his ears when it struck down, a soft clicking sound just in the back of his head that sounded faintly like bones cracking, the hail strong enough to leave bruise on the skin.

He truly thought the blow from behind came from the wind. And was sure of it all the way through the fall, until his shoulder didn’t explode in a shot of searing pain and his face dragged across the ground. Roxas was instantly aware in that moment of the feeling of teeth sinking into the flesh, digging into muscle and nerves, like Tempest was searching for something beyond the blood and the tissues. Windriser didn’t even realize he was the one screaming until his head cleared. He screamed and flailed as much as possible, until his voice broke and his arms ached.

Roxas heaved through the worst of the pain when he felt Vanitas above him parting from the shoulder and even through the thunderous storm, Roxas gagged at the distinctive sound of _chewing_.

« _What’s this?_»

Vanitas jerked back his arm back: at that point, Roxas was faintly aware of the pain. His eyes cleared when the clinking sound reached his ears.

The bracelet his father gave him centuries before. The only jewel he always forgets to take off, so used to have it on him constantly he couldn’t even feel its weight now.

The moment the bracelet was off, Vanitas’ claws around the gold, Windriser felt the shift in the air, like the rain got way slower on its descent and he could feel the blood from his shoulder trickling down, one drop at a time. His skin felt too tight. Staying like this, with his ear against the cobbles, Roxas could feel the trickling of water, the fret of small insects rushing underground, the vermin sliding toward corpses, a feast upon it.

When Roxas smiled, he could feel his lips pulling all the way back and going and going until his lips broke and he could feel the growth of teeth clashing together.

When he spoke, his mother tongue came naturally.

He was home.

« _I’m tired of these games, cousin._»

When he jerked away his arm from his grip, Roxas didn’t even feel the pain of broken bones, wrist bent strange. When his hand shot toward Vanitas’ neck, his fingers had become way longer than before, ending in small claws that dig into Tempest’s black skin. And he was laughing and laughing, like that was the best joke he had ever heard, like the claws were tickling him instead of choking.

Roxas threw him away off himself like was nothing more than an old piece of paper. He crashed somewhere and Roxas didn’t even care, getting up on two unstable legs, bones breaking apart and reconnecting to adjust to his old form, bending under the weight of it, arms way longer and heavier than before. Turning wasn’t exactly painful, but it was a discomfort Roxas couldn’t get used to, no matter how many years could pass, enduring the pulling of tissue and the breaking of lips, red droplet falling onto his teeth and tainting them.

He couldn’t exactly see Vanitas, given how far he had thrown him away, but he could hear him: the dragging of feet against the ground, the sliding of nails onto the cobbles, the metallic shrill of his voice when he chuckled, the battering rain against his form.

« _Finally,_» he heaved out, coming forward. « _A fair fight_.»

And then he leapt.

*

_[When Windriser and Tempest were still young, they played fighting many times, as a way to pass the time for one and a way to show off for the other. But, as any other things in this world and others, fighting between fae had a very specific goal and rigid rules. For one, it’s disrespectful engaging in a fight with a fae of your same clan, unless they wronged you; unless it was the end of a play-fight, no baring of teeth in front o a kin’s face: it’s highly inappropriate._

_But Tempest didn’t care about any of that. They had no regards of rules, nor did they actually matter. So they picked their battles, grazed their teeth onto other kin’s faces, chaotic and uncaring. _

_They respected only one thing and that was the goal of the fighting: the submission of the other and the taste of victory._

_Windriser had always hated that. _

_And maybe that was one of the reason they decided to leave in the first place. But motivations were lost in the folds of time, rules and goals thrown aside, and nothing mattered anyway when now there was a place to call home where they didn’t need to prove to no one their worth: if they were the fastest, the strongest, the smartest. _

_Sun didn’t care and Tempest always cared too much. _

_The choice had always felt easy._

_He never looked back.]_

*

Compared to Vanitas’ form, Roxas was lighter, and despite what others might have said, that had always played to his advantage. He didn’t need to run now, but Vanitas’ attacks were vicious things, every snap of his nails a threat to severe a limb. In his blind rage, Vanitas didn’t care about cuts or wounds or anything else: he ran on pure desire to spill blood and coming out victorious, flailing his arms whenever Roxas sneaked around, avoiding teeth just so he could dig his own claws into Tempest’s back and sending him flying.

Catching a breath had never been an option with him, always going for the throat, the shoulders, the arm, anything that might help him getting a hold of Roxas and just bite down. The wind couldn’t help them now, nor the rain or the hail: it was a matter who could claw deeper, sink their teeth faster. Who was going to throw who onto the ground and making sure they remained there.

When Vanitas took a hold of Roxas by the throat with his nails, he slammed him onto the ground and started dragging him toward him. Roxas didn’t even think when he brought his nails to his mouth and bit down. The screech coming from Tempest was so loud it sounded like the wail of a dying animal, snapping the hand around with Roxas still holding onto it with his teeth, like he was nothing more than a bug to get rid of.

Then, the sound of a tear.

The sound coming from Vanitas’ throat wasn’t even a scream: it was something wilder, something that would’ve scare away any kind of human and fae alike in the proximity. He was holding his wrist out, his fingertips shedding blood and tainting the ground. The smell almost made Roxas gagged, spitting out of what remained of Tempest’s long nails. He tried not to think too much about the taste of copper and ash he could feel on the tip of his tongue.

He ran.

The streets of the capital were a wreckage of inedible food, splattered mud mixed with torn pieces of fabrics and ice. Behind him, he could hear Vanitas using the wind to move from one roof to the other, trying to jump him and failing every time Roxas moved out of the way before the leap, the snap of teeth grabbing nothing but thin air.

He turned around the corner.

It was a closed alley. Nowhere to run and no wind to use at his advantage. It was dark. There was no heavy breathing behind him, no sound except for the battering rain and the thunders. He put his back against the wall, waiting for Vanitas to come. He could use the walls to his advantage in any case: he had long limbs to reach for the nearest ledge if he needed to get away fast.

He heaved for air, breath coming out quick through his teeth. The blood spilling from his shoulder and the wound across his stomach was trickling down slower than before, in his ears the sound of one drop falling one at a time at his feet.

Vanitas was nowhere to be found.

And that wasn’t a good thing.

He took a hold of his breathing, steady.

_[« You always get fucked over by the same thing, Tempest. You know I have a sharp ear.»]_

Roxas breathed out through his nose. The crackling of thunder.

_ [« Alright, tell me what it is.»_

_« No way! I’ll use it to my advantage one day.»_

_And he did.]_

The clicking sound.

Vanitas never made it to the ground – not the way he wanted to anyway. Roxas grabbed him by the head the moment he leapt from above. And then Roxas started slamming his arm against the wall, once, twice, and on the cobbles, _three, four time_, until the sound of cracking bones towered over the pouring rain and the hail hitting the ground. To Windriser, it was nothing more than beating a rug against a hard surface to make sure it was shed of any residual dust or bug.

Vanitas’ body crumpled on the ground much like a doll whose strings got cut out. Windriser bent his back over him and pinned Tempest’s broken arms against his chest. He opened his mouth.

And then he shrieked.

A scream so loud legends would’ve told the story about the wailing storm, that shrill that shook the earth, so similar to a pained banshee cursing their deaf gods.

Roxas put his long, clawed finger onto Vanitas’ forehead.

« _Go home, cousin._» And he leant back, retreating into the dark alley. « _We’re done here._»

Vanitas gave out a brief laugh, a weak, heavy thing. « _We are._» And then laughed some more. « _I thought humans made you softer._»

« _Leave, Vanitas_.» He was tired.

« _I would, but someone here broke every bone of my body. I guess you’ll have to bear with me a bit longer._»

Vanitas could heal pretty quickly in his original form (something Roxas’ body had never learnt to do, at least not that fast), but given the state he was in, it would’ve took at least one hour before he was able to leave with his own two legs. Roxas remained hunched against the wall, letting the rain clean the blood on his face, trickling down his teeth and his long throat.

He was listening to the knitting of Vanitas’ bones and tissue under his skin when he spoke.

« _Why did you leave?_»

Roxas scoffed. « _I wanted something else. More._»

« _Than what?»_

« _Than remaining there doing nothing but fighting fae and travelling from time to time with no actual place to call home, Vanitas. I’m not like you, I don’t like using the winds to hurt others._»

« _That was home._»

Roxas thought of Sun, his bickering with Asidera, his constant trying to sneak into the kitchen to get a snack. The first time his father gave him the bracelet and the cape to say that he was his son, not by flesh and blood, but because in the chaos of everything, Sun decided to look at him and share a connection. « _No, it wasn’t_.»

They remained in silence. When it was time, Vanitas got up – unstable legs that were – and bowed deeply.

« _I’m chaos, cousin. I do what I do because that is my nature._»

Roxas turned his head toward him. _« I’m chaotic too. Just not the way you want me to be. That is my nature. I think no one here can really blame the other. And I don’t blame you because you’re storm incarnated, Van, I blame you because you’re a fucker._»

Vanitas smirked. It was a complicit smile. « _Nice one, Roro._» And with that, Tempest left, carried away by stormy winds, his shrill laughter following right behind.

The dark clouds remained as a gift, as the ruins that Roxas had to swept away.

He sighed and just waited to go back to normal. He would search for his bracelet and then he would go back home.

_Home. _

*

The streets were a mess, more like a battleground than the main street of a city. Five nights of never ending storm had caused a long list of inconveniences and the battered houses and broken streets were just two of many problems to solve. The Masters had a lot on their hands.

Her father had a lot on his hands now too.

She walked among broken pieces of woods and dead fruits with the same carefulness she showed every night in the star field. No one had come out yet, the rain had stopped pouring and was nothing more than a drizzle. There were no thunders, nor hail, nor the furious howling of the wind. She roamed the streets with a hand around the handle of her sword, afraid to hear once again that loud shriek, that wail that had nothing human-like.

When she was about to turn the corner, Xion saw movement coming from an alley. A shift in the air and nothing more. And then two glowing eyes at the end of the street.

He unsheathed the sword, cautiously walking toward the wall.

« Who’s there?»

A serious of hiss and whispering. Xion couldn’t catch any of that, approaching the source of the sound unafraid. She had faced monsters and fae and everything in between. This was nothing.

She pointed her white sword at the figure.

The figure had pale, white skin, blotched blood red in several points, like the shoulder and around the stomach. The creature had way too long limbs, dropped onto the ground like it didn’t know what to do with them. Xion focused briefly on the hand clawed hand tainted with dried blood. The other hand was covering its mouth, like it was trying to shield it from sight. There were pieces of fabrics onto his skin that could have been clothes once – and Xion recognised that craftsmanship, the colours that weren’t used on her land.

« Windriser?»

The creature nodded once.

Xion’s eyes went to the wide gauge on his shoulder – she could see the white of the bones under the bite marks.

« I have to bring you back to the castle. You’re wounded.»

Windriser’s arm shot to her wrist, so fast she didn’t have time to respond, even with her hand around the sword. He started whispering something, too fast for her to understand – but she was sure he was trying to communicate in a language she couldn’t comprehend, a series of hiss that never resolved into words she knew. In their natural state, fae couldn’t talk in common tongue; that she knew.

« I can’t understand you, Windriser.»

Windriser moved his hand form his mouth. Xion gasped automatically, didn’t even realize she was the one making that sound. Sun’s son had a row of teeth in plain sight, a mouth so wide it seemed like it was pulled into a constant vicious smile, lips all broken and tore. He circled a clawed finger around his other arm, the one who was still gripping Xion – not tightly but it was a grip that demanded attention.

He repeated the notion once more, going around his wrist.

« A bracelet?»

Windriser nodded quickly. He pointed to the streets behind her.

« You lost a bracelet in the streets.»

He nodded again.

« We have no time for that, you’re gravely wounded.» And she tried to get away from his hold. When she did, his grip got a bit tighter, not enough to hurt her, but that kind of strength that wanted to highlight the urgency of the matter.

Windriser put a finger on his chest, at the height of his heart. Then he pointed again at his bracelet and again his chest, doing the same notion once, twice.

« This bracelet is important.»

Windriser pointed his chest, almost clawing the skin there, spilling blood.

« _Really_ important, alright.» Xion knelt down, a hand still around the sheath of the sword. « I’m going to find your bracelet, I swear. But first, we need to tend to those wounds.» Windriser shook vehemently his head. « This is not negotiable, Windriser, I’m bringing you to the castle. And if you resist, I will knock you out and drag you there myself. Then I’m going to search for your bracelet.»

The creature seemed taken aback from that, leaning his head to the side like the whole thing puzzled him. He let go of her wrist and looked at her, those two white eyes staring right into her soul. She wasn’t afraid. She had no reason to be.

And then Windriser nodded.

*

« I owe you a great debt, First Eye.»

Sun received the call a day later. He wasn’t worried: he knew Roxas, he knew his nature – he had seen him. And yet, there was a concerned voice, always nestling there at the base of his skull, always tapping lightly, like a sound in the background you don’t notice until the room is silent and you’re left with your own thoughts. So when Moon called him to thank him and telling him his son was safe and sound, the relief was clear as day in his voice. Asidera had gripped tightly his hand briefly before letting go, a support he didn’t know he needed until he felt their fingers around his.

« I’m just glad everything turned out fine, Moon. Is everyone alright?»

« Scared, but not scarred. As for our crops—»

« We’re going to help you, Moon. You do not have to worry. We’re going to discuss about that with our Masters.»

Moon remained silent for a long while. Sun could hear the pride in that long pause, the restrain in accepting other’s help. « There’s no way I can settle this debt properly, First Eye.»

« Just take good care of my son, Moon. That is the only thing I ask of you. That’s how you settle our debt.»

Another long pause. Sun thought he should have left him go, given how many problems he probably had to solve after Vanitas’ passage.

« I don’t know how can you let your son wander off like that.»

Moon’s words were soft, like he wasn’t sure he should said that when the words were already out.

Lea laughed. « When you have a son who is wind incarnated, you learn pretty quickly what kind of father you have to be.»

« I could never do that with my daughter,» Moon said. « It’s the only thing I have.»

Sun leant his head to the side. « Same goes for Roxas: he’s the only thing I have, too.» But the instant he said that, Sun’s mind flooded with people who had his back, who supported him and loved him, Asidera for once, then all his Masters and the fae he had at his court that felt more like family than a whole set of deals.

He regretted saying it.

But Moon only chuckled, a weak thing that betrayed centuries of solitude.

« No, First Eye,» Sun could hear the smile in his voice, « I don’t think that’s the truth.»

And it stung knowing he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "yellow flicker beat" // lorde


	9. i saw the northern lights, convinced it was the end of times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. [i graduated](https://twitter.com/venenyx/status/1199612583076155392)
> 
> that's it, that's the reason i went on radio silence for so long. thank you for your patience, i hope y'all like this update

Bringing him inside the castle resulted in being more arduous than she had predicted. Mostly because Windriser was still somehow resembling more a wild fae than an actual human and no Master nor Attendant dared to even inch closer, no matter how many times Xion repeated them he didn’t mean any harm – and either way, he was too exhausted to even try anything at all, his head almost lolling when they arrived at the castle. The only one who helped her had been Terra, with no surprise from anyone, given he was a fae as well and knew their deep nature.

« Follow Terra. He will help you with your wounds,» Xion said, looking at him. Roxas wasn’t even replying anymore – he just nodded faintly and followed the other fae toward the rooms in the inner halls, every Master taking two steps back when Windriser passed by.

Xion returned to the main street. The rain had stopped but dark clouds covered the sky, allowing no stars to shine through. There was still no one in streets, like they were all afraid of what they might encounter outside, no matter if the storm had passed.

Finding Windriser’s bracelet wasn’t a hard task. Every jewel in Moon’s kingdom couldn’t shine that much, given everything was made of pearl or silver or moonstone. It didn’t have the same shining glint that his bracelet had, the same bright light that seemed to hold a star of its own when Xion picked it up from the debris. Stars didn’t exactly have warmth when they were ready to go, but this bracelet felt much like standing next to the big fireplace in the main hall. And yet, it felt like this warmth was entirely new to her, like it was another kind of fire. It didn’t burn the palm of her hands, but warmed her through and through, from the fingertips and all the way down her toes.

_So it feels like this…_

Xion banished the thought: no need to think about something they will never have. She put the bracelet inside an inner pocket of her long coat and returned to the castle. Moon was waiting inside his room, a round space with a glass dome where he could look at the stars above him – at least if the sky had been clear. He was standing next to the window, hands folded in front of him. The long coat behind him was all crumpled, like he had spent much time going from one place to the other, not caring about he looked.

Xion closed the door behind her, standing with her back straight: the attitude of a soldier in front of her king rather than a daughter in front of her father.

« You disobeyed me.»

His voice had a cold edge. More than being upset, Moon sounded disappointed. That was what hurt Xion the most.

« You didn’t want to listen to reason,» she said, walking toward him, dropping all formalities. The window was showing the wreckage of Tempest’s passing: the debris, the ruins, the broken roofs and windows. There was no way they could see their own crops from there, but they both knew in what state they were. Even in front of evidence, Moon was focusing on the wrong issue at hand. « If Sun hadn’t intervened, it could’ve been much, much worse, Father. I did not disobey your orders for personal delight or scorn in face of rules; I did it for the good of our people that comes way before everything else.»

« Even your king’s orders?» And he turned to face her, veil moving slightly to the movement.

« If deemed unreasonable in moments of crisis, yes, Celestial. Even my king _and_ father. I will not apologize for it.»

The silence between them stretched. Xion couldn’t see her father’s face, but she knew he was looking at her under that veil, studying her closely as if to detect the slightest hesitation in her face. But Xion was born from dreams and stardust, had learnt how to face monsters way bigger and more threatening than anything else: hesitation was unknown to her, especially when her duty was being the sword and the shield against the darkness.

« How’s Windriser?» Moon returned with his veiled gaze toward the main street.

Xion turned with him, looking out as well. No one has come out yet, but people had started opening the windows, shyly looking outside, to the hiding stars. « He was gravely wounded. I believe Terra and the healer are taking good care of him. Will you call First Eye?»

« I will. He must be worried.»

Xion nodded. « The houses need reparations. As for the crops, I will go on patrol with Terra,» she shook her head. « The price will be… steep, to say the least. But recovery is necessary, especially now.»

Moon seemed to take in a big breath, as to psychologically prepare himself. « I will talk to him. You do not have to worry about that. Go see First Eye’s son.»

Xion bowed her head briefly and then left the room, closing the door behind her.

Everything came with a price, especially with a dealing fae. And although Terra wasn’t exactly an unreasonable person and had been serving Moon’s court for hundreds of years, he was still a fae, ready to deliver if there were people behind who could return the favour. It was simply his nature and there was nothing Xion could do to change that. They needed his services more than anything else, especially in a kingdom where the earth was harsh and the darkness could be a cruel companion.

Xion was still thinking about how much would Terra’s actions cost when he saw him getting out of a room, closing softly the door behind him. When he spotter her coming down the stairs, Terra smiled instantly, bowing briefly his head.

« Moonlight.» Terra was wearing clothes way lighter that hers: his arms were naked under the dark scarf wrapped around his shoulder and the fabric of the pants didn’t seem as warm as the one used for the Master’s clothes. He was regarding her with a kind smile, almost as warm as the bracelet stored inside her inner pocket, a ring of warmth resting right above her ribs.

She bowed her head as well in greeting when they were close. « How’s Windriser?»

« Extremely tired. The battle must have taxed him greatly.» He tilted his head slightly to the side, warm smile becoming sympathetic. « Our natural forms are rarely… pleasant to the sight, if I may say so.»

« I’ve never seen your natural form,» Xion commented and that was a half true: if Terra did, she might not even remember it, given how many forms she had changed.

« And I hope you never will, Moonlight. Showing natural forms is not something we do often unless we are in our own lands or in danger. I have not returned to my homeland in… centuries, I believe. As for the dangers, we have nothing to fear until you are here with us.»

Xion smiled at that, hand curling around the hilt of her sword for a brief moment, as to steady herself. « Will he be alright?»

« Give him the time to rest, Moonlight. In a couple of hours, he’ll be as good as new.»

« And… still with—?» and Xion bared her teeth, tapping a fingertip against them.

Terra chuckled, understanding instantly what she meant. « He was already changing when I left him.»

Xion nodded, turning her head toward the closed doors. There was no sound coming from inside: he was either incredibly silent or Windriser had fallen into a deep sleep. But as of now, Xion had other things to consider: for example, how to approach the matter of destroyed crops with Terra. She mentally did the math on how much this would’ve cost to the reserves. She was still mulling her thoughts over when Terra spoke, taking one step closer.

« Whatever troubling thought you have in that mind of yours, let it go for now. We’ll have plenty of time to discuss it with your father.» And the sympathetic smile tumbled in once again, blue eyes focusing entirely on Xion, regarding her with curiosity. « Why don’t you stay with Windriser? I think he will like seeing a friendly face.»

Xion tilted her head to the side. « You think he will find me friendly?»

Terra chuckled. « I doubt he wouldn’t, Moonlight.» He briefly bowed his head. « If you don’t need me, I’ll go now. There’s someone I must meet.» And with that, he walked away, leaving her alone in the long corridor lit just by the torches along the walls. Xion had many things she should have attended to: for example, standing with her father while talking with Sun, just to be sure everything went smooth. Or go back to her field, vulnerable once again now that the storm had passed.

But curiosity crept over her and so she just sneaked into the room where Windriser was sleeping and closed the door behind her.

The room was warmer that she expected it to be, the fireplace casting a dim light around the closed space. She was expecting to find the slender, wounded creature she had stumbled upon in the streets, blood tainting long teeth and skin so white it almost seemed translucent the pale moonlight. But instead, under the big, fluffy covers, there was just a boy: Windriser was sleeping curled up in a ball, the puff of his blonde hair the only visible trait from under the sheets. Xion approached him, edging her face toward him, trying to study the details she couldn’t see.

She had stumbled on a creature and now Xion was looking at nothing more than a boy not much older than she was. Xion studied his relaxed forehead, the blonde hair that looked so different from the ones she was used to see in the boys and girls of Io. When she tried to look under the covers to take a peek of his face, Windriser sighed, closing on himself even more, like he was trying to collect all for himself the warmth.

Xion took a step back, eyes wandering over the neatly folded up cape at the feet of the bed. As soon as Xion touched it, her hands felt instantly warmer. She left out a relieved sigh, unfolding the fabric in front of her so she could take a look at the design. The cape had tiny, geometric symbols all around the edges of the cape and on the giant hood, Sun’s emblem edged into the centre with gold threads, so refined and beautiful Xion had the feeling she was staring at molten gold poured onto the fabric. Around his emblem, there was another circle threaded in white. And at the very bottom, there were two outlines, the golden one circling around the smaller, white one, seeming much like an embrace.

Xion brought the cape toward herself, burying her cheek into that soft warmth that she had never known except from the fireplaces and her father’s hugs.

_So this is what it feels like_, she thought, rubbing her cheek onto the fabric once more, closing her eyes. _Holding the sun._

*

  
The splitting headache woke him up first. Then everything else came: the pressure on his shoulders, the warmth of that soft weight, the crackling of the fireplace. The feeling that someone was watching him strangely close. Roxas rose from under the covers much like a dead man might do from six feet under, hair all over the place and feeling like his head was fraying into million pieces he couldn’t hold together. His lips were still hurting from the changing, pulling all in the wrong places when he yawned: his muscles didn’t feel that great either.

Moon’s daughter was sitting right next to his bed, all curled up in the armchair, sword cradled against her chest like it was a child. When he sat down, her eyes shot open, going instantly over him – she wasn’t even sleeping, it was like she was waiting for him to wake up with her eyes closed but her senses all vigilant.

« Windriser,» she greeted him, a smile blooming on her lips. She sat down properly, moving her sword so it could rest right next to her. « How are you feeling?»

Roxas pinched the bridge of his nose and even that simple movement seemed wrong, the ache blooming as soon as he bent the forearm. « Like a whale just sat on me.»

Xion tilted her head to the side, forehead creasing in confusion. « A… _why-ale_?»

Windriser stared at her in equal confusion. « A… a whale. You know. Like—» he opened his arms really wide, not caring about the ache. « Giant fish.» He made a long, howling sound.

Xion looked at him stunned.

And then, out of nowhere, she started laughing.

A hiccupping sound that shook her shoulders and made her wheeze almost. She went to replicate the sound, opening up her arms like him, laughing some more when the howl came out more like a drawling sound that she couldn’t complete entirely.

« Stop laughing, I’m serious,» Roxas said, but he was laughing too, trying to imitate again the sound and failing miserably in looking at her stunned expression.

« A whale,» Xion laughed.

« Yes, a whale. Giant fish that lives in the sea. I’ve seen a couple. Anyway, that’s how I feel,» and he went to grab the cape thrown over the covers so he could drape it around his naked shoulders – it felt cold for a brief moment, nothing more than a light sting. Xion was still looking like she was trying to wrap her mind around the matter, mulling over the thought of giants fish living in the ocean. She was saying that new name like she could try its weight on her tongue, widening up her mouth on the “wh-” before closing awkwardly around “ale”, tongue touching the roof of her mouth, showing the white teeth. She chuckled once more, repeating the motion.

The room wasn’t exactly the warmth he had always been accustomed to, but it wasn’t the biting cold he had felt when he had stepped into Moon’s kingdom. The covers on the mattress were so soft, he had never seen something similar in Sun’s kingdom, fluffy enough that if Roxas pressed his hand down he would leave the shape of it on its surface. Maybe that was what Moon’s people were accustomed to since—basically the beginning of time. Looking at the shapes their hands left on heavy duvet while outside the cold was sharp and unforgiving.

« Oh,» Xion said at some point, seriousness finding again her features once the thought of the whale left her mind. She rummaged through the inner pockets of her long coat, fishing out a gold circle, bright under the fire’s light. « I have found your bracelet. I washed it because it was all dirty.» She leant forward, putting the bracelet next to his hand: he could already feel that familiar warmth even up close.

Roxas smiled at her. « Thank you,» and he put it on, the weight around his wrist almost feeling like a homecoming. He scanned for any sign of blackness on the golden surface, making sure Vanitas hadn’t stained it, but luckily it was immaculate as always. He huffed a sigh of relief.

« You said it was really important,» Xion said, crossing her legs onto the armchair and leaning back again against the back of the chair.

Roxas’ eyes lingered on the metal. « My father gave it to me a long time ago. I’ve had it ever since. I can’t lose sight of it.»

The girl seemed to look pensive at that, hiding her tiny smile behind the fur of the collar. « I know what you mean,» and as if to prove her point, she moved her hand toward the handle of her sword, caressing with the fingertips the white steel of the blade.

« Did your father give you that?»

Xion nodded. « He made it for me when he made me.»

Roxas started to nod, but left his head lulling halfway through the movement. He turned sharply toward her. « Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.»

Xion blinked once. « He made this sword for me when he made me. It’s a gift.»

« I’m sorry, I’m not following,» and he sure wasn’t: it was like listening to someone talking in another language. Roxas knew full well Moon’s daughter wasn’t fae: there was something about her, starting from her smell, that just made her instantly stand out from the rest of them all. She wasn’t human and that was sure – especially after that comment that still made no sense to him whatsoever. « Like… are you some sort of… statue come alive? It’s like that?»

Xion jerked her face behind, like his word stung her. « I’m… not a statue, I think? I move.»

« No, I know, but… what do you mean when you say he made you?» Roxas watched the door for a moment like expecting him to come inside in a second. « Is he like a seahorse?»

Moon’s daughter laughed, trying to repeat the word he just said and failing miserably. « You’re funny, Windriser. You make up such fun words.»

« _I don’t_— you know what, nevermind,» and he crossed his arms, falling against the headboard of the bed, just slightly upset about the whole thing, feeling more like a laughing stock than a curious fae. From there, he could see the dark sky. There was nothing threatening in that view now, but the black clouds were hanging there from the sky like a bad omen. He found himself wondering if he was going to find stars under that black velvet.

« My father prayed for me,» Xion said, looking out from the window like him, « he prayed and begged for so long that the stars had enough of his prayers. So when he fell asleep that night, he dreamt of me. He dreamt me flesh and bones, he dreamt me with stardust on my hair,» and she ran her hands among the hair, coming up all sparkly and white, palms up toward Windriser so he could see. « And he gave me a sword. And then I waited for my father.» Xion took between her hands the sword, the white steel almost translucent in the light of the room: Roxas could see his reflection against the blade, the messy blonde hair, the marks on his cheek and neck slowly fading away and that would soon become just another memory of a distant fight.

Roxas stayed silent for a while. « So… you’re not fae, I guess.»

Xion laughed once again at his comment, bringing her sword close and making the blade rest against her chest. « I’m part of my father; I breathe through his lungs and see through his eyes. I cannot be fae, Windriser. I just am.»

Windriser made a face at her. « Cool.»

Moon’s daughter just smiled at that: she looked like she didn’t understand that answer, but smiled through it anyway. _She seems nice for being an entity that could probably wipe out my whole existence. _

« Sun must be worried,» Xion said, getting up from where she was sitting, strapping her sword once again at her side. She wasn’t much taller than he was and Roxas wondered how someone this small could evoke such discomfort the first he saw her in Sun’s kingdom. « I think my father is talking to him as we speak.»

Roxas’ mind instantly went to that time he left home for almost three weeks and came back to Sun napping on the net of flowers hanging from the roof of the meeting room (how did he get there was out of his comprehension, he didn’t even care at that point), waking up as soon as he heard Windriser and immediately asking for his help in getting out from there because _“if Asidera see me in here I think they will kill me on the spot and yes, I’m afraid of them and you should be too, now get me out of here before anyone else realizes I’m stuck. Also, hi, you’re home”_.

_Home_.

Roxas smiled at her. « No, I think he will be quite alright.» He looked around the room, searching for his clothes and not seeing any. « Where are my clothes?»

« I’m afraid the healer threw them away, Windriser. There wasn’t much left of them. Also,» she said, picking up the fabrics hanging from the back of the chair. She picked them up and lay them down in front of him. « You may want to consider putting on these. They’re way warmer than yours. It’s cold outside.»

Roxas smoothed the fabric so he could see the clothes: it was all in dark blue and white, both the long, heavy pants with tiny geometric design at the seam and the soft tunic that left his neck free. Xion gave him a long, black scarf to wrap around his neck and head if he wanted his hair covered. He had never had something so soft under his fingertips, the fabric was nothing like he had ever felt, smooth as silk but three times as warm.

« Thank you.» He said, looking up at her once more.

« I’ll ask Terra to walk you to the great hall,» and with that, she bowed her head and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with his new clothes and a mind full of thoughts.

*

« No, First Eye. I don’t think that’s the truth.»

Arrogance rarely suited anyone and on a king it could result in a diplomatic accident. When Moon told him that, he was expecting for the call to end right away, his mind already working on a way he could apologies without risking the wellbeing of his court or even his own people. But Sun hadn’t say anything at all, making an acknowledging sound like he was truly mulling over his words.

Sun was proving to be a strange entity, an open book and at the same time a mystery he couldn’t quite solve, missing a link, a piece every time Moon thought he was getting closer. Always talkative, so much he almost touched the boundaries of annoyance and petulance sometimes. But then he talked about this… ocean. This azure, liquid sky that stretched far beyond his eyes and that reflect light so well it almost looked sparkling silver. Moon thought he could paint the image of his starry night, but it always felt wrong, not quite close to the picture Sun was trying to describe.

Then there was the storm and the fear for his own city. And Sun who did not care about etiquette, seemingly uncaring about everything that did not piqued his interest, just sent his own son into foreign lands. Like he was nothing more than a weapon to use at his leisure, talking about favours and niceties and not asking anything in return from a king that could have given out everything for the safety of his people.

Sun was a puzzle Moon couldn’t quite understand. Moon thought he was the one mysterious, but it seemed like a veil was nothing in comparison to that king from afar, all laugh and smiles that could burn a kingdom to the ground and dance on the ashes if he so desired. He trusted him of course – but it was that kind of careful trust that could disappear in an instant at the sight of the first wrongdoing. And with Sun everything was like walking on a wire: Moon couldn’t know when that kindness would transform into bargaining.

« I think you would’ve done the same,» said Sun from the other side, cutting the train of his thoughts. « If my people were in trouble and I asked for your help, you would have sent someone to help me.»

Moon chuckled. _So trusting_. « Not my daughter perhaps.»

« And yet, it was your daughter who came into my court.»

« Not because I sent her. She disobeyed my orders.»

« And she did good,» Sun’s voice had turned from jovial to something more sharp. « If she hadn’t done that, Vanitas would’ve caused much more ruin than the one you’re dealing now. I understand you stand over a closed-off kingdom, but let other people help you if you’re in need.»

Moon shook his head. Sun spoke his mind with no hesitation whatsoever, talking like his tongue had no rules and followed its own track of thoughts. It wasn’t exactly the way to talk to another king; but Sun had proved time and time again he wasn’t exactly an ordinary sovereign. « You forget I have a debt to you.»

« You have no debt to settle, Moon.» And that was sharp, like the whole discussion tired him greatly and he was trying to cut it off. « Take care of my son, tend to his wounds and then send him back home with your blessing. That’s the only thing I ask of you.»

Moon remained silent after that, hearing nothing but his own breath inside the mask. He had nothing to say to that. How could he explain the thousands of years spent in solitude, counting only on the strength of his own people, their resilience and their pride? What words could he choose to describe the centuries spent wondering if this was it, if this was the last his people would see his light, condemning them all? Always living on the wire and still looking like they could do just fine on their own and the brief connections from the outside world?

« It’s how you said, right?» Sun said, smile oozing in his voice once more, becoming warmer. « Everything for the good of the people. What’s the meaning of pride and spite if your people is suffering?»

Moon chuckled. « You almost seem to talk from experience.»

« Because I do, Moon.» And then it came silence once again.

A puzzle: there was no way he could know what things Sun’s mouth could spit out, if it was going to be warmth or sharpness.

« Your daughter stood in front of my court like a general. You should be proud.»

Moon smiled, recalling the way Xion used to stand in front of their Masters, the tight line of her back, the hand constantly curled around the handle, the line of her mouth constantly pulled into a stern expression that could become a smile only in the starry field, when they were alone. « I’m always proud of her. If I let her, she would march into war on her own and would probably come back victorious.»

Sun laughed: a sound brief but so similar to the chuckle of a child. « Can’t find it hard to believe.»

Moon made a sound in the back of his throat. « Your son is taken care of, First Eye. He will be fine and I will send him home safe and sound with gifts.»

« Please, Moon, there’s no—»

« I insist.» And he knew Sun couldn’t at this point refuse.

On the other side, Sun let out a defeated sigh. « You know there’s no need to. It wasn’t a bargain.»

« It’ll be just a gift, First Eye,» and he smiled, « a gift from a closed off kingdom.»

Sun laughed once again at that and Moon thought he could get used to hear that sound.

*

After he finished dressing, Roxas went to the window, wrapping around the scarf tighter around his neck when the cold air blew in. The streets were less of a battered mess as before, people roaming around and picking up carts and the debris – the houses still needed repairs and he felt a pang of guilt in seeing the state of some roofs. He looked up at the dark sky, moving one arm to the side with a slow movement. The wind picked up, a breeze strong enough to make the surviving flags billow in the air. The clouds moved lazily forward – it would take some time and some real work from his part.

_That fucker. Next time I’ll rip his arms off. _

He closed the window again and went to the door. Terra was already waiting for him outside, arms crossed behind his back and an easy smile on his lips.

« Windriser,» he bowed his head. « It’s a honour. I’ve heard many things about you.» And after that, he hissed something in Roxas’ native language. He was trying, but it took Roxas a while to actually understand what he was trying to say – nonetheless, it was thoughtful. When he finished, Terra laughed. « I think I just butchered your language.»

Roxas smiled up at him. « It’s a hard language. The _ksh_ part gets me too sometimes.»

Terra smiled back at him in appreciation.

« Sorry if I don’t try with yours. I can’t speak many languages.»

« My language is almost a stranger to my tongue as well, Windriser. I use it so rarely I fear I might lose it entirely one night.» He started walking down the corridor, Roxas following right away. « Did Moonlight tell you who am I?»

Roxas shook his head. « I’m sorry, she didn’t. But she told me your name: Terra.» After a brief pause, he said, « I’m Roxas.»

Terra nodded. « I’m what everyone calls Master of Land. I didn’t receive the teachings, but I take care of the crops and everything, so might as well call me Master to make things easier.» He turned his head toward Windriser, studying him. « So, you’re Sun’s _Designated_ Son, as you called yourself.»

Roxas nodded. « Sun took me in a long time ago.»

Terra furrowed his brows, confused. « You’re not from a dealing clan.»

« No, I’m—» Roxas thought of a way to put the whole thing down, but couldn’t actually find the words, nor the will to do it. « You know, it’s a long story. If we have time after this, I might tell you.»

Terra smiled. « I’d be happy to listen.»

« Sorry if I ask you, but you said you heard about me. How?»

« Oh, I know someone who had many things to say, Windriser,» and a mischievous smile tumbled on his lips, looking down at Roxas with a sideway look.

He didn’t press further, especially now that they arrived into the Great Hall. The room had a round table in the centre with all kinds of food – Roxas thought many of those plates had something that looked like meat. Moon was standing at the far end of the room, Xion already at his side like a faithful soldier. Some Attendants were holding onto some torches – a pity, because Roxas was sure with those tall windows the room must have been a sight, illuminated just with the natural light of the moon. All against the walls, the Masters and the others were looking at him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion in their eyes.

_Yeah, I think they saw me pretty good_, he thought ruefully, recalling the moment he entered through the doors of the castle in his natural form and seeing all those people taking careful steps back, putting as much distance as possible between them and Roxas. He couldn’t exactly blame them: fae were rarely a sight to witness.

« Windriser,» Moon called and his voice sounded almost booming in the silence of the room. « Thank you for what you’ve done. Sit with me.» And with that, he sat down at the table, tapping one single time his finger on the armchair of the chair at his right.

Roxas approached him, Terra going to sit down next to Xion and immediately whispering something in her ear. She nodded once and then sat back straight once again, watching Windriser with intent, like she was studying his every movement.

The Masters joined in – the one that went to sit next to him was the old man with the white beard he had seen before going to look for Vanitas. He was regarding him with curiosity, watching his blonde hair, the curve of his face, the cape that Roxas had draped around his shoulders and that so clashed against the dark colours of the clothes Xion gave him. Roxas moved his eyes away, looking at Moon.

Up this close, he could see the white of his hands, crossed on his laps – he realized it was the only part that was actually visible aside from his ears. All pretty normal – he didn’t have thousands of arms or pointy ears, so definitely not some kind of strange fae. No matter how hard Roxas squinted his eyes, he couldn’t make out a single detail under that veil.

He looked at him while Moon took the goblet in front of him, pouring the red wine and moving the glass behind the veil. Just to be sure nobody could see even the slightest glimpse of him, Moon brought the large sleeve of his coat in front of him, shielding himself from the world. And when he was done, he offered the goblet to Windriser: a gesture to signal he was welcome into his house and at his table.

Roxas took a sip to make sure he showed respect to the etiquette and put it down immediately after, the liquid still burning the back of his throat – he loathed the taste of wine; or anything alcoholic really. When Moon went to help himself with something that looked like a soup – the dark brownish colour didn’t exactly encouraging him to try it for himself – everyone else moved to fill their plates, passing over trays and goblets.

« Thank you for everything you have done for us tonight, Windriser,» Moon said, not moving his hand toward the spoon to start eating. « If it weren’t for you, the situation would’ve been much more dire.»

« It’s no problem,» Windriser said, passing over to Xion the plate that the Master next to him gave him. He went instead for the bowl of green – the smell wasn’t half bad actually, even though he was sure he had never seen those strange, red strings around in Sun’s kingdom.

« Aren’t you going to try the meat, Windriser?» Xion asked, taking the tray. It seemed like everyone in that moment had stopped eating and was looking directly at Roxas.

Roxas had never felt smaller in his whole existence. He stood there with the bowl half tilted toward his plate, fork in one hand.

« _Uhm_—»

Everyone was still staring at him like the entire world was waiting for an answer.

« We thought you might like it.» Xion was pressing on, trying to give him back the plate. « Please, help yourself.»

« I’m vegetarian.» Roxas blurted out, stopping the huge leaves in the bowl to come down any further in his plate like the greenie hoarding fae he seemed.

Silence.

A voice inside of his brain – that sounded dangerously close to Asidera’s – suggested him fashionably late he should’ve accept the meat the first time, but even the thought of having a dead animal in his plate and having _to chew_ on them, made Roxas instantly gag. He looked around the room in search of a friendly face, but everyone was looking at him like he just killed an infant in front of the whole table and was spilling their blood in his goblet.

Then it came a chuckle. Something so light that, in a crowded room, it would’ve passed along unheard, but in that dead silence it felt almost out of place. Roxas turned around, seeing Moon putting a hand on his veil – a gesture that seemed so much like a noble covering their mouth to hide the smile. The laugh died right after, but some part of Windriser’s mind registered the sound.

« I apologise, Windriser,» he said, coughing once so he could return serious. « I was sure you were carnivorous. Or at least omnivorous.»

Roxas chuckled, putting down the bowl in front of him. « It’s the teeth, right?»

Moon nodded. « I think so.»

Roxas shrugged. The assumption came easy when looking at his natural form, the long, sharp teeth that could easily rip into skin and tear muscles. But meat had never actually appealed to him – horrible taste and hard to digest. But the salad he was munching on was something out of the world, way tastier than anything he had every tried – it tasted spicy on the tip of his tongue, but then it became almost sour sweet when munching on it. The red strings were so crunchy, much like chewing on an apple and the sauce almost tasted like honey or something similarly sweet.

« This is very good,» Windriser said and he knew Asidera would’ve slapped him on the neck for speaking with his mouth full, but he couldn’t help it. It was divine. He went for a second helping.

Terra proceeded to explain to him what most of those greens were, how much time it took to grow, where they grew – the red strings apparently were roots from the northern regions with the particular side effect to make one’s tongue fiery red. Roxas was only half listening, too intent in ravaging the entire bowl, munching on those roots like his life depended on it.

« Windriser told me something about his kingdom, Father,» Xion said, putting a hand on his arm. She sounded excited. « He told me about the _why-ales_.»

« Whales.» Roxas corrected her, half leaf peeking out from the corner of his mouth.

Xion nodded. « Yes, those, they are big, giant fishes.» She turned once again toward Windriser. « Do you think they could be good to eat?»

Roxas made a face. « I sure don’t wanna know.»

She lazily rested her cheek on her hand, looking out to the dark sky outside. Xion looked like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and stayed silent, a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips. Roxas found that smile incredibly sad to look at and he couldn’t tell why.

« Celestial,» Windriser called him, turning toward him so he could stop staring at the double edged sword that was Xion’s smile, « before I leave, I will help you getting rid of those clouds. My cousin left me some work to do.»

« I thought they would go away with time,» Moon replied.

« They will, but with me it will be a lot faster. I just need to stay on high ground.»

Moon seemed to think about it for a long time, like he was mulling over the pros and cons of the whole affair, trying to understand where the catch was.

« I won’t ask you anything in return, Celestial. I just want to help. And it would be an occasion for me to look at the stars. I’ve never seen them before.»

Moon turned toward him. Roxas knew he was looking right at him, studying him under that veil that hid a calculating gaze. He felt even smaller under that scrutiny – there was something unnerving in knowing that Moon could look at him and Roxas couldn’t, even when he was perfectly standing in front of his line of vision.

« Thank you, Windriser. I appreciate it.» He chuckled, a sad laugh that died soon after and had nothing of the vitality and life that Roxas heard briefly just few minutes earlier. « It seems like I keep collecting debts toward Sun’s kingdom.»

« It’s nothing,» and he got up, smoothing the tunic. « I want to believe you would’ve done the same for my father.»

And Moon turned again sharply toward him, like his words stung him. Roxas turned his gaze away, focusing on the empty bowl, the half eaten bread he had been munching, the rest of commensals that had turned their gaze toward him.

« I can come with you, Windriser,» Xion said, getting up as well from the table, « you can never know what’s hiding in the shadows.»

Roxas decided to ignore the whole bad feeling he got from that simple sentence, bowing deeply to Moon and walking briskly away with Xion at his side. As soon as he closed the doors behind them, Xion took him by the hand, bringing him close to her. She had the biggest smile on her lips, eyes glinting with excitement: that was the closest thing to a fae he had ever come across since he had met her.

« I know a high ground. But you must not tell anyone,» and she put a finger on her lips.

Roxas, dumbly enough, nodded.

And they started to run.

*

Apparently, Xion had to sneak past a couple of Attendants before reaching the chocobo stables and getting ready the same bird that got her home the first time. The black chocobo didn’t seem particularly pleased about the trip but couldn’t do much except bowing slightly so that Xion could jump on.

« Can you follow me close?» She asked, going in circle around Roxas once.

« Can you first tell me where are we going?»

Xion put a finger on her lips once again. « It’s a secret.»

« You’re aware that if _it is_ a secret and your father disapproves, he could probably eradicate my life from this place of existence, right?»

Xion laughed and just launched the chocobo into a run, away from the city centre and from the castle.

_No, I don’t think she’s aware_, but Roxas went anyway, taking long leaps to stay close to her. The path they took brought them through field and fields of grass, passing over the devastated crop coasting on the path and that Roxas tried to ignore just as much as the gnawing sense of guilt that was eating his stomach. They went up and up the path, until they left the castle behind and there were no noise but the howling of the wind.

Roxas took another leap and for a brief instant he glimpsed at a wide, open space beyond the hill that stretched far and far ahead. And scattered all around the grass tiny, _glinting_ _lights_. He fell all wrong, not expecting gravity to pull him so hard toward the ground. The instant pang of pain at his ankles when he landed almost took his breath away.

He tried to speak but his mouth couldn’t come up with words.

Xion stopped the chocobo in his tracks, circling around Roxas like before, a knowing smile on her lips.

« It’s just a bit ahead,» and went on without him. Roxas followed her a bit running and a bit stumbling, realising for the first time he was out of breath.

When he reached the hill, Roxas could finally see.

When the light hit the ocean right, back in Sun’s kingdom, it was like looking at scattered diamonds lying all over the surface. This was pretty much the same but better: tiny lights glinting softly against this grass sea ahead of him, some glinting so bright he had to squint his eyes, and others almost seemingly asleep, their light coming and going much like they were living, breathing things. Roxas felt like his lungs were not large enough for all the air that he was trying to breath in, trying to embrace the sight but failing in doing so: he couldn’t see how far the field stretched, how many lights could hold.

He pointed a finger toward them, looking at Xion: she was slowly taking off her coat, draping it around her stead like the whole thing was nothing. « What— _what_—?» He shook his hand toward the lights, words hard to find.

Xion smiled. « This is where I was born. It’s the Star Field.»

Roxas made a gesture toward the lights. Then he ran his hands through his hair and pointed at the stars again, willing to speak, to say _anything_, but his tongue twisted and stumbled, coming up with nothing but small, confused sounds. He ran his hands again through his hair.

« Take your time, Windriser,» and she walked toward the lights, feet light and walking on tip toes, taking huge steps when crossing over a line of lights. It almost looked like a dance. « Please, be careful when walking forward. Most of them are still asleep.»

Roxas took his head between his hands. « I need a break. I really, really need a nap. But for like— ten years straight.»

Xion laughed. « Shouldn’t you be working? I have things to attend too here.» And she walked on ahead, sometimes shooting a glance to a particular light and then walking forward. At some point, one star on her right seemed to shake more than others, standing still for a moment. Then, suddenly, it plunged itself into the darkness up ahead, erupting into a blinding, white light on its way toward the sky. Xion resumed her walk like the whole thing unfazed her.

« What was that?» Roxas asked, sounding drunk even when he was perfectly sober. His brain was a whole firework show in his skull.

« A star,» she called, leaning over a particular light that seemed to blink at her. « She felt ready so she went on ahead. It happens to us all, isn’t that right?»

Roxas nodded without actually knowing what he was nodding to. « Yes? I guess?»

_I really need a nap, I really need a nap, I really need a nap. _

Xion turned her back to him, sign he should be free to start his work whenever he wanted while he attended hers. Roxas numbly went to sit down on the grass, still humid from the storm. He crossed his legs and stared at the dark clouds up ahead.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and started to work.

The best feeling while working with the wind was the sensation that every thought of his were blown away with the breeze, going far, far away to never return. Unfolding one by one like the tiny seeds of the dandelions: taking one away and then all together. He breathed out, another thought passing by, a dark cloud lazily dragging itself away. He blew away another cloud and the thought of those tiny stars lying on the ground, another weight to get rid of. And when all his thoughts were gone, his mind remained empty, just the howling of the wind in his ears, whispering secrets and bringing him comforting words, catching on the clothes like it was all just a game.

It was the kind of emptiness and silence that makes you feel at home.

Roxas opened his eyes.

He had thought he had seen many things in his long existence, one could say almost everything. Thousand of years had started wearing him down – the world is quite small when you’re the wind and you’re used to travel far and wide. But Windriser was sure he had never seen so many jewels hanging from the sky; tiny, white pearls glowing in that dark blue velvet, turning purple and black and all the shades Roxas had never met in his journeys. There was a long string of stars, much like a glinting river, that seemed to lighten up the sky, turning into a dark fire that burnt his eyes. He was afraid to blink, no matter if his eyes gave out and started to tear: he wanted to memorize every shades of those colours, the right position of the stars, the way ones shone more than others.

He started to laugh. Laugh and laugh until his stomach hurt and his jaw ache.

And in his state of euphoria, it almost looked like the stars were laughing with him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "northern lights" // st. vincent
> 
> reminder that [nicole](https://twitter.com/Myed89) made some [beautiful](https://twitter.com/Myed89/status/1170016015796854786) [fanarts](https://twitter.com/Myed89/status/1171857593498832897) [like](https://twitter.com/Myed89/status/1173351764575346689) [this](https://twitter.com/Myed89/status/1181901308611190784) [one](https://twitter.com/Myed89/status/1185647325785538560) for moonstruck sun, please give her some love too, you cannot imagine how helpful she is for this project and how much invested she is, i'm so glad i have her with me for this long ride


	10. came up with the fire light, raised in the black of night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i say i want to write a slow burn i mean it with a particular emphasis on the SLOW alright  
anyway, i hope y'all good and you're still bearing with me, a tiny gay turtle. thank you for your support!

« He just sounded… I don’t know, like he really expected me to ask for something back.»

Lea was lazily sliding the spoon around the cup, watching the pink liquid inside spin and spin until it spiralled down in the centre, a mirror of the whirlwind that had started storming inside his skull relentlessly, trying to pay no mind to Moon’s last conversation but linking back to it anyway, waves that inevitably came crashing back onto the shore.

Asidera was regarding him from the rim of the cup, had been listening to his continuous rant from hours now, going from the matter at hand to the documents spread before them, to the last harvest, to Moon, a chaos of threads that never made much sense to Lea’s chaotic mind and that Asidera always found the way to unravel.

They put down the cup, the ring on their finger – the only piece of jewellery they always wore – clinking rhythmically against the ceramic like they were trying to dictate with that constant ticking the pace of Sun’s thoughts. « You’re looking into this matter with your own perspective, First Eye.»

Sun ran a hand through his hair, lazily leaning on his palm and looking up at their advisor. « And what’s my perspective, Asidera?»

The Master of Star’s mouth curled up at the side in a pensive expression, something Asidera would usually do when they were thinking long and hard about an argument and didn’t know how to put it down in words – it wasn’t something they did often, but when they were alone, Asidera did looked way more relaxed even in showing more facial expressions. They looked out to the grand window at their right: like this, Lea could see the firm line of their jaw, the plump lips, the glow of their dark skin against the light of the day. « You’re living in a place whose only real threat here is the drought, First Eye. And you resolved that as well because you have found a fae who was willing to accept a deal and had become rather stable inside your court. Your people do not fear you. »

« From what captain Sora and his companion told me, his people don’t actually fear him. I mean, yes, it’s kinda creepy that a man never shows his face and there are a lot of horror stories behind, but these are just what they are: stories. His people are fed, they’re kept safe. They just have a king who’s a little… shy, that’s all.»

Asidera regarded him with a calculated gaze. « You know why there are so many horror stories around the Celestial, First Eye?»

Lea shrugged. « I don’t know, because people tend to come up with the craziest things when it comes down to royalty and all that?»

« There was a story well known back in my wretched clan, First Eye, and I like to believe that was the origin of every kind of horror story we hear today about him.»

« So you know something!»

«I told you: next time, you’ll just need to ask instead of going around like a crazy monkey in search of the tiniest bit of attention.»

Sun pouted at that, crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on top. « It wasn’t like that.» And remained silent while Asidera started telling the story.

« I don’t know how much time had passed, but it’s a story that somehow stuck with me all this time – maybe because of the cruelty behind the matter or somehow it upset my young mind back then. It was rather famous among my peers, back when I still had a clan,» and at that, Asidera grimaced like the memory actually stung them. He moved on. « A couple of fae conspired against Moon many, many centuries ago. They presented themselves at their court as fugitive from their clan, asking for asylum: humble men and women who were willing to serve a great sovereign if he welcomed them at court. Moon accepted – if there was something Moon has always been renown of was their kindness of heart. So they all began working for them.»

Asidera distractively put the spoon in the cup, sliding it in circle as that could dictate the pace of his own tale. « Moon could’ve not known what they were hiding. Many said they stole something very precious, maybe a sacred jewel; the most romantic version of it said the fae stole their heart – many think it was their lover. Anyway, this is irrelevant now.»

« Well, I would like to know—»

« You would like to know a detail that is irrelevant to the story. Let’s move on. When Moon realised what happened inside his court, they lost their mind. Enraged, they started to go searching for the fae far and wide, crossing oceans, scanning the skies. And eventually they found them.»

« What happened then?»

« Moon blinded them.»

Lea stared at Asidera, unfazed. « That’s it’? They just… blinded them?»

Asidera tilted their head slightly to the side, one eyebrow raised. « First Eye, you do know what it means living blind in a kingdom like Moon’s, right? Furthermore, Moon didn’t exactly carve their eyes out or burnt them as you might do. Moon cursed them to live a life without their light. It didn’t happen anything to their eyes, they still looked perfectly normal to anyone else; Moon just decided they would never bask under their light ever again and put upon those fae an endless night.»

Lea frowned. « I don’t exactly see it as a horror story.»

Asidera smirked, something far more treacherous than it should’ve been. « Because you don’t know what could possibly hide in the dark, First Eye.» The Master of Star took another sip of their tea, seemingly pensive. « Until that moment, Moon had never known enemies: an imposing sovereign who was not scared of what could lie in the shadows. Only a foolish fae could try to play someone like them.»

« So you’re saying the true horror is… the fact that they were kind… but at some point they went “oh wait I can be _not_ nice for once”? Is that what you’re saying? And that’s why everyone is in awe and scared of him now?»

Asidera seemed to ponder long and hard about that phrasing, closing their eyes and waiting for an answer from the skies above, who stayed, once again, silent. Sadly. « More or less, yes, First Eye, that is what I was trying to convey.»

« Shouldn’t that apply to me too if you think about it? Like… I can be scary as well.»

« Yes, you can be… scary, if you say so,» and Sun made a face at that comment, turning the corner of his lips down. Asidera tried to hide well their smile, but smiled nonetheless. « But the situation is different, First Eye. Your worlds are completely different. You’re known to be open and welcoming and I guess someone could say you make people talk. Moon had lived all his existence hiding. When that event happened, that made Moon only more reclusive, more isolated. His people and his court are the only things that matter to him and if protecting them from further harm means shutting out the rest of the world except for few, treasured connections, that is a price he’s willing to pay.»

« Even when your own people spread stories on you?»

« First Eye, how do you stop people from spreading a story? Do you ask them politely?»

« Yes? Maybe?»

« That makes things worse: it means that maybe those stories stung you; and if they stung you, that’s because perhaps there’s a chance they might hide an inch of truth. So polite is off the table. Do you force them?»

Sun made a face. « I would never. That is dictatorship. I’m not gonna establish a reign of terror.»

« Then what do you do?»

Lea looked at the liquid inside his cup once more, not really thinking about it because the answer was already on his lips. « Nothing, I guess. There’s nothing you could do.»

Asidera nodded. « And that’s exactly what Moon has been doing. He let them speak because _he_ knows the truth and that’s what’s important to him and nothing else.»

Sun remained focused on the surface of the liquid, tea now cold for a while. When a petal of the flowers up ahead fell directly into his cup, it created faint circles that broke briefly the surface. The stories that circulated around Sun weren’t so bad – funny at best, edging to faintly humiliating at worst; almost 80% of them blatantly false (except for the story about his hidden, non official Master of Threads that kept making the kind of clothes that Asidera despised seeing him in, that was totally true, but couldn’t exactly confirm). He always wondered where those stories began in the first place, because some of them really required a lot of creativity.

But Moon’s stories edged between beauty and terror. It was beautiful imagining a tall king all veiled with a whole court around him – but in his mind, Lea could only see a court that was always standing at a certain distance, always regarding Moon in a certain way.

« That’s just sad to me,» Sun said, moving his head to the side. « If I had to live like that, I wouldn’t even bother to come back.»

« And you’d leave your own people to die? People you decided to guide through the dark?»

Sun remained silent. He knew about responsibility. He knew the weight of the crown and the heart-breaking choices he had to make for it.

« You’re both gentle kings, First Eye. Moon is just more… careful with his own heart, given his history. But yes, you’re right: it is sad.»

Lea sighed at that, taking one document into his hands and inspecting it rather lazily. His mind was already catching onto other threads and even though he was sure Asidera had noticed, they didn’t say anything and let him work through everything with his pace, asking him pieces of advice here and there and discussing it together.

Sun wondered briefly if Moon had someone similar to Asidera in his own court and some part of him hoped so.

*

Windriser worked lazily on, moving slowly his arms and his fingers around an invisible thread, eyes scanning the sky just to try and catch more vibrant colours, to see what number he could reach before growing tired of counting stars. When the dark clouds were mostly out of the way, Roxas could actually lie back on the grass and staring up more comfortably at the sky without feeling like his neck was about to snap in half.

A part of his brain wished for his father to be there so that he could actually see with his own eyes the stars they always heard about. Xion behind him was still making rounds among the sleepy stars, hearing the distant hiss of new-borns ready to take the sky above. He breathed out.

« Are you alright?» Xion came into view, slightly leaning forward so she could look at Windriser. « You looked quite overwhelmed a few hours ago.»

Overwhelmed wasn’t exactly the right word: he felt pretty much like that one time he ate those strange cherries a kid offered him back in Agne – he couldn’t recall much from that experience except for coming back home just to be bed ridden for the rest of the day; but he remembered the feeling of his head lighter and fuzzier, like his eyes were swimming as well as his own thoughts (apparently, those cherries weren’t suitable for fae, giving them all the symptoms of an intoxication with consequent hangover).

Roxas felt pretty much like that day: lightheaded, pupils all blown out, big smile fixed on his lips for hours on end.

« Well, can you blame me?» he said, opening up his arms, « this is _huge_!»

Xion laughed. « I guess to a foreigner it is.»

« So you’re born here?»

Moonlight nodded.

« Your father doesn’t want many people here, right?»

She shook her head again. « It is a sacred place. Or at least, for my father it is. We come here every night.»

« What do you do here?»

« I have to stay here because someone has to guard them, make sure they’re all okay,» and she turned her head toward the stars lying behind them before returning with her gaze to Roxas, « it’s my duty. My father comes here so we keep each other company.»

And maybe that was the tiny detail that sent his head spinning. Keeping each other company was not something Windriser and his father did often: they never actually felt alone and even when Sun went to sleep, Roxas had never felt lonely – stressed and overwhelmed in those days, but never actually sad because he felt like someone was missing. Xion talked about his father the same way a warrior might talk about a war wound: it may had stopped hurting for a while, but the sadness that came from missing something would never go away.

« Don’t you have a place which is really personal to you and your father?» Xion continued, tilting slightly her head to the side, inquisitive.

Roxas thought about that. He came from the ocean but the shore wasn’t exactly a place held to an almost sacred place as this one was. It was a place as any other, sometimes he would meet kids there ready to play with him and other times he could even meet Lea, trying to get away as fast as he could from his Master of Star or worse, his Master of Steel, both focused on their mission to talk his ears off. But no place was actually closed to anyone else but them.

He shook his head. « Not really. I mean, there’s the terrace of the palace where I stay, he comes see me sometimes, but I wouldn’t exactly say the main reason he does that is to keep each other company. More like… I don’t know, a place where he’s free to take a break from the court and where we can talk from time to time? I wouldn’t call it sacred.»

Xion furrowed her eyebrows. « You stay on the terrace?»

Roxas shrugged. « Yes.»

« You sleep there?»

« Yes.»

A moment of silence followed this exchanging of questions, where Xion was looking at some other point in the grass like she was searching for some kind of answers on the ground.

« Your father must be awful for letting you sleep on the terrace. Don’t you have any more rooms?»

Roxas stared at her a long time before responding. « No, wait, Xion,» and he burst out laughing before he could say anything else. The breeze picked up enough to roll some stars around, Xion moving her arms in front of him to ask him to stop that because he would bother the stars. He found the strength to calm down, returning serious. « My father doesn’t let me sleep on the terrace because he ordered it. I choose to sleep up there.»

Xion blinked. « But… aren’t you cold?»

« It’s really not. But even if that was the case, I can always go inside. They don’t exactly keep the windows closed.»

Xion’s eyes widened at that. « They don’t?»

She sounded so surprised, like the whole matter of keeping their own windows open was a novelty. It shouldn’t have surprised Roxas that much (given the cold, keeping the windows and doors closed seemed like a necessity), and yet he found himself staring at her with something that someone else might have mistaken for a sympathetic smile.

« You really do live in a strange place,» he commented.

Xion stared at him for a moment before replying. « I don’t think I’m the one living in a strange place, Windriser.»

And the conversation ended there, because there was nothing to make the other understand the strange ways to the other: they were foreigners to each other, but they couldn’t have known that.

Xion grabbed him by the arm, picking him up with utmost easiness – Roxas tried not to dwell too much on that: he was light, but she made the whole thing look like she had just picked up a bouquet of flowers. He steadied himself, smoothing with one hand his shirt.

« Come,» she said, grabbing him by the hand and driving him forward. Windriser wasn’t exactly a fan of touching, especially coming from someone who was still a stranger to him. But Moonlight had this way that made everything look easier, tolerable. Almost nice. And actually it was nice holding her hand: it was chilly on the knuckles, rough for the many years spent in wielding her sword – he wondered briefly how many times she actually had to use that.

She walked briskly forward, her steps careful but quick. Roxas was walking with less grace, jumping up on every star the seemed way too close to his foot and finding ways to miraculously avoid another; he went to grasp Xion’s shoulder and decided to follow precisely her steps when the task became more arduous given how many stars clumped around the centre of the field.

She stopped abruptly and turned around, picking up a star that was near her. It was a small thing that faintly shone with a pale light. Even when Xion took it in her hand, the star didn’t even light up between her fingers. She took Roxas’ hand, palm up.

« Don’t be scared,» she said and made the stars roll in his palm, careful even in that simple gesture. Roxas imagined a star to be cold to the touch and yet he found it lukewarm at best – it wasn’t by far the warmth he was used to in his father’s reign. The star shone bright once, then resumed her faint, weak breathing, like it wanted to say hi to the holder once before resuming its rhythm.

It shone once, twice. Then, slowly, its light became weaker and weaker until finally the light gave out. It began shedding once piece at a time, crumbling in tiny pieces from the top until there was nothing but silver dust between his fingers, falling to the ground and carried away by the wind. Xion remained silent, one hand still resting under Roxas’, palm against his knuckles.

« Sometimes they die before their time comes. I stay here so they don’t feel alone in these moments.»

Windriser rubbed his fingers together: the stardust felt smooth under his tips, all the faint warmth all wiped out by the coldness of the air. His hand sparkled under the light. He raised his eyes over Xion, looking at the specks of silvers entrapped among her strands of hair, so similar to the dust that was still clinging to his fingers.

She smiled at him. « You could say we wear our death on our skin,» she said, passing a hand between her hair and putting her palm close to his: they sparkled the same, Xion’s just more faintly. Her sentence sent chills down Roxas’ back and he tried not to think too much about the whole meaning behind that.

Xion turned her head abruptly toward the way they came from. « We should go. We’ve been here for a while and I don’t want to get you in trouble.»

« Oh, thank you, that’s so kind of you,» Roxas tried to hide the sarcasm, suddenly conscious of the possibilities of what Moon could do to him if they found him here in what Xion considered a _sacred_ place. Maybe he was going to devour him with one or two of the thousands mouths he had? Or maybe he was going to turn him into stardust like the star he just held? Those were just two of the many possible deaths Moon could inflict and if he took the time to think about it, Roxas was sure he could find at least twenty more.

They walked back, Xion riding much slower than before, taking another route that went around the castle. It seemed a path longer than the one they had taken to get to the field and Roxas for a moment wondered if Xion wasn’t just buying more time for herself.

« I know my father already told you, but,» Xion started to say, hands around the reins of her stead, « thank you. For what you’ve done for us.» But that didn’t seem like that was the thing she had been trying to say since they left the star field. She looked like she wanted to ask other things, but didn’t dare to put down the words.

« It’s alright,» Windriser shrugged, looking up at her, « thank you for showing me that. Maybe one day I can show you the ocean. I was born there.»

Xion stared at him with the biggest smile on her lips: a girl who came from a dream and the knight of a powerful king and that now looked nothing more than an excited girl. « I would love that, Windriser. Come visit me from time to time, please.»

To his ears, that sentence sounded more like a plead than a kind request; as if Roxas could be another person beside his own father to keep her company in a place that was destined to loneliness.

Despite everything, like a fool, Windriser nodded. « I promise I'll visit you. And I have to show you the ocean.»

*

When they arrived at the court and exited the barn where Xion left the chocobo, Terra was standing next to the stairs that led to the upper rooms and the great hall where Moon probably was in that moment together with the rest of his court. And he was talking with something pretty familiar to Roxas.

Raincatcher was holding onto Terra’s arms, their fingers wrapping around each other’s elbow: a way to salute one another. In any other occasion, Windriser wouldn’t have thought much about it beside his initial surprise in seeing her in Moon’s court – dealing fae couldn’t hold more than one contract, but they were still free to travel far and wide. Yet, there was something about their stance that made Roxas mildly curious.

They stood very close to one another, talking so low that even in close proximity he probably wouldn’t have been able to listen to a word of what they were saying. Terra smiled at something, tilting his head down as in embarrassment. And then, with the same carelessness kids hold each other’s hands, Aqua leaned forward and nuzzled his cheek.

Roxas had centuries to study the way humans show affection: he understood that sometimes to say hi to each other, they go and kiss each other’s cheeks, sometimes once, sometimes even two or three times; and if you share something deeper with someone, you even go for the lips – Roxas found it invasive at best and indecent at worst, especially after seeing two people back home kissing like they were going for each other’s throat.

On the other hand, fae that didn’t actively live with humans didn’t do anything with their lips – there was no kissing and especially no close inspection of each other’s mouth. As his father told him once (and he had to agree), fae showed affection toward one another much like cats did: with soft nuzzling and pressing one’s forehead against the other. Like Aqua was doing in that moment, nuzzling first one cheek and then the other, smiling.

Windriser felt his ears burning at the sight, turning his head toward whatever thing around the room that might catch his eyes as well as his attention.

« Windriser,» Aqua called him, distancing herself from Terra after a quick squeeze at his arms before letting go. Roxas returned his gaze to her, ready to blame the cold if his cheeks were still red. She bowed deeply to Xion before returning her attention to him. « Terra told me what happened.»

« Yes,» he responded, clearing his throat, « you know how Vanitas can be.»

« Sadly, I do. Are you going back home?»

Roxas nodded. « Probably. Don’t want to impose further. I just stayed longer to get rid of the clouds.»

Raincather showed him a big, honest smile. The row of tiny, sharp teeth glowed in the pale moonlight. « That was very kind of you.»

Windriser tried to focus on something else to hide the embarrassment – the fan strapped at her back, the boots at her feet, the complex bow of her long, heavy dress right on her waist. « It was nothing.»

Aqua wanted to go back with him, since she had to leave anyway for Sun’s kingdom. Roxas had no problem with that: whatever problem they had months before was water under the bridge after his apologies. Reasonable fae like them didn’t need to hold grudges (Roxas smiled at the thought that, if Vanitas were there with him, he would’ve soundly disagree with that notion).

Moon joined them few moments later, followed by a couple of his Master and one Attendant, a tiny wooden chest in her hands. Roxas did wonder for a moment how Moon could walk down the stairs so confidently and with such a quick pace with clothes so heavy and convoluted like the ones he was wearing. Both Roxas and Aqua bowed when he arrived at the bottom of the stairs, walking toward them. Xion went instantly to stand at his right.

Her expression had become once again cold and distant, her hand curling familiarly around the handle of her white sword. She had become once again the knight that Moon had dreamt of. Roxas kept looking at her even when Moon started talking.

« Thank you for what you have done here tonight,» Moon said, « I’m sorry I can’t offer more, but please, accept this gift.»The Attendant walked toward him, offering him the box. Then, on top of it, the Attendant put a little satchel. On both their surfaces was carved Moon’s emblem: a pearl sphere with a tiny drop of silver on the upper side – Xion’s own symbol. « The satchel is for you. The box is for your father. Tell him,» and Moon took a long pause, like he was thinking about it. He continued, « tell him he can always ask, if he knows what to ask for.»

Roxas kept the wooden chest between his hands, eyes going from the gifts to the man in front of him. Everything coming out of his mouth was a riddle he wasn’t psychologically prepared to solve. « Alright. Thank you.» He put both of them in an inner pocket, making sure the box was tightly close.

Moon nodded and that was his way to bid goodbye.

Xion beside him bowed briefly her head. « I hope to see you again, Windriser.»

But her voice had nothing of that childish excitement he heard before.

*

The journey back home was spent in silence. Raincatcher left him as soon as they passed through the Veil. The change in temperature made Roxas huff and puff, loosening the scarf around his shoulder – not that it did much to his body temperature, which still needed to adjust once again. Travelling on his own winds went much smoother and faster than what he had to endure when he left with Xion for Moon’s kingdom. He didn’t think he would miss so much this familiar warm breeze running through his hair, caressing his face, and yet it made him feel like the winds were welcoming him back home.

When he finally arrived in the capital and landed on the first roof, a kid who spotted him right away tried to race him in the streets. Roxas slowed down, letting the kid catch up the pace with him – he saw her jumping over a cart despite the complaining of the man, going through busy adults who were just staying between her and victory. Roxas slowed down to a brisk walk, lazily sliding down on a roof before jumping onto the next one, hanging from the ledge to salute the kid.

The kid said hi back, waving enthusiastically her arms.

Roxas couldn’t wait to go back home and change those heavy clothes.

Indeed, when he arrived at the castle and landed onto the terrace, Windriser didn’t exactly expect his father waiting there with a cup of tea in one hand and a half eaten lemon tart in the other. He stumbled through his landing, trying to steady himself when he regained control of his legs.

« Moon called me to say he sent you home,» Sun said, looking at him from the rim of the cup. He put it down, finished his tart in one bite and got up, approaching him. He was clearly studying the design of his clothes, inching closer to the shoulder, taking one hem of his sleeve and rubbing the fabric between his fingers.

« I hope you did not wait for me for hours, don’t you have a job to do?» Roxas said, yanking away the arm.

« Did he give you this? Look at the fabric, it’s so warm, I’d probably die with this clothes on,» but Lea wasn’t listening to him, too enraptured by the fabrics, the design, the way they fell on him. He was studying everything with the same calculating and curious gaze Ienzo, the son of the High Librarian, had when reading through a new book. He stood before him once again. « So tell me!»

Roxas shrugged. « About what?»

« About everything! What is it like? Is it really cold? Asidera told me it’s really, really cold there. How’s Moon? Did he say something?» And many, many other questions about his kingdom, how it was ruled, what was its peculiarity, how many Masters did he have. It wasn’t much of a conversation as an actual interrogation, Lea following him close all the way down the stairs to the Spring.

Roxas took out the gifts from the inner pocket before going in. He threw him the wooden box. « He told me to tell you that you can always ask, if you know what you’re asking for. Don’t know what it means and don’t care, and now, if you’ll excuse me—» and closed the door of the Spring before Sun could another word, locking it twice.

The bath cooled him down, staying in the Spring for a little longer, recollecting his thoughts. While he was inside, he picked up the satchel from the pocket of coat. Inside, there was a long necklace with a small pearl as a pendant. Pearls had an elegance that was so different from the ambers and the rubies that adorned palaces and jewels in Sun’s lands. He rolled the pendant on the palm of his hand: if he put his hand at the right angle, there were still tiny particles of stardust clinging onto his skin.

His mind made a beeline for Xion, who had smiled excitedly at the idea of seeing the ocean for the first time and how much her smile had changed when they were inside the castle. Like she allowed herself to be a completely different person when the whole court wasn’t around or just when she was around her father. He wondered for a moment if the version he had seen back in the field was the same one her father got to see every night when they were alone.

He sighed. He was thinking too much into it but his mind was a ball of yarn unravelling and entangling one thought after the other, mind sent buzzing. He tied the black string of the necklace around his neck and got out of the Spring, wearing Moon’s clothes – he still had to go fishing up his own clothes into the room which technically was his, but practically never used.

When he got out, Sun was sitting close to the doors, wooden box still in his hands.

« Did you open the box?» Roxas asked, walking toward his own room.

Sun responded after a brief pause, quickly getting up and following him close. « Not yet. Did he give you something?»

Roxas showed him the necklace before stuffing it once against under his shirts. He shot a sideway look to his father, who was uncharacteristically dead silent. No question, no whining about telling him something, even a small detail: he was just following him in the hope that maybe, if he stayed silent, Windriser would’ve talked of his own volition.

And he was right.

While he took the time to change into new and lighter clothes, Roxas told him everything he had seen. He realized that, the more he talked, more details came to his mind: the way Xion walked the field with eyes always scanning her surroundings, like she was being extremely cautious about something that Roxas wasn’t aware of; the numbers of seat around Moon’s table, so few compared to the many Masters and Attendants roamed into Sun’s castle; Moon’s blue, long hair, coming down straight on his dark clothes.

Roxas talked pretty much like a madman, stumbling through his own words, running his hands through his hair when Lea asked a question about something that he couldn’t possibly answer not knowing much about Moon’s population or lifestyle. He talked about the castle, how closed off he was, the big, open windows constantly closed and with no curtains to allow more light in.

« You know they have these roots that colour your tongue red?»

« Roxas, I cannot begin to tell you how much I _do not_ care about the greenies, the stars! Tell me about the stars!»

They talked for at least two hours, Roxas walking up and down the room and moving his arms around so much at some point he started almost floating. Sun kept his head between his hands like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, a big smile on his lips that betrayed excitement, the remorse of not being able to see that with his own two eyes. He talked about the many shades of the sky, the way it turned almost violet on some parts, the myriads of tiny silver lights attached to the sky that almost looked like a river from down there.

He told him about Xion, the girl that came from a dream and had stardust between her hair (_« I touched it, I touched the stardust! It’s like that time I dipped my hand into that basket of spices, but it’s rougher, almost sharp, I don’t know!»_), the sword as white as a pearl but so translucent you could see your reflection on it.

He told him about the solitude of that place.

Sun remained on the windowsill after the tale, Roxas sitting on the other side of the room on the desk with one leg dangling lazily. Sun looked like he was still processing every information and his brain was short-circuiting around everything he had just heard, opening his mouth to say something just to close it again. He kept rolling between his hands that tiny wooden box – no sound came from inside and Windriser for a moment really wondered if there was actually something inside or was just a plain box.

« Moon’s kingdom seems to edge between a fairy tale for kids and Vanitas’ dream home. But I think he genuinely cares about his people’s wellbeing,» Roxas commented, putting his arms behind him to support his weight.

Sun made an acknowledged sound in the back of his throat, looking briefly out of the window. « A closed off kingdom,» he said, but Roxas wasn’t sure that sentence was meant to be said out loud.

After so much talking, they both welcomed the silence as an old friend. Windriser wanted to ask him about his day, but Sun’s mind was somewhere else entirely, under a starry sky, keeping company to a knight with a white sword and eyes focused on the stars.

*

Sun went back to his room later on. He gave his son a hug, glad he was home alright – he was sporting a bruise on the side of his neck and he knew that, just a day before, that bruise must have been a nasty wound. Then he left. He walked to his own room with slow steps, following the pace of his thoughts that were floating around his mind like lazy balloons. No one came searching for him for once, nor he had the strength to go looking for something to do with his hands after that conversation.

He closed the door of his room and went to the window: when he stared up at the sky, he saw nothing but an endless blue.

Sun idly rolled the box between his hands. He didn’t know why he didn’t tell Roxas the truth about it, but there was something about his content that Lea wanted to maintain private. Like Moon had decided of his volition to lend him in a secret and was now Sun’s duty to protect it.

He opened the box once again. On the bottom, neatly wrapped in a silver thread to keep it together, there was a lock of blue hair. When Sun touched it, he expected it to find it cold but it wasn’t. It was just… soft to the touch and nothing more.

On his fingertips, tiny specks of silver glinted at him in the light of the day.

_Stardust. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "king and queens and vagabond" // ellem


	11. here to make a stand for causes i don't understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the absence, i was writing sweet namixi for my cheesy soul and screeching at the chapter that wasn't coming up the way i wanted it to be

There were mornings where waking up was harder than others. It wasn’t tiredness per se, but Asidera felt mentally vexed the moment they opened their eyes, glance fixed on the glass ceiling. The vines had started to grow wild on the other side of the glass above, projecting games of lights onto the floor of their room. It was a nice sight, almost calm. The bird outside were chirping softly, not too loud; if they focused hard enough, they could even distantly hear the voices of people coming and going through the main street, roaming the plaza and the market. Someone was singing somewhere not far from their room.

Asidera closed their eyes.

Then it came the hard knock, the high-pitched voice.

_First Eye._

« Asidera, I have to talk to you immediately, I know you’re awake!»

Some mornings were truly harder than others.

By the time Asidera decided that the moment to get up had sadly arrived, Sun had knocked three times at their door, asked twice if they were feeling alright and had received the door directly on his nose when he tried to pry open the door while Asidera was in the middle of tying the knot of their long vest. They had to wrap at the best of their abilities the veil around their head while keeping a foot on the door, leaning all to the side so they could see at least their head on the mirror.

Only then, they went out.

Sun was in the middle of putting his ear against the surface in the attempt of hearing even the smallest sound coming from their room. As usual, he was wearing that kind of dress that left little to the imagination: a red see-through shirt with a long sleeveless jacket that went all the way down his back and opened up in long tails behind him, trailing behind; the pants he was wearing had an opening on the sides, making a show of his long legs. He wasn’t wearing any jewels aside from Windriser’s bracelet and a ring on his nose (a novelty); the earrings were so little Asidera couldn’t even spot them under that mane he was used to sport around wild as if he had just left his bed. Asidera had no words to waste, especially at the visible absence of his cape.

« First Eye,» Asidera sighed, fixing a pin under their complex turban to hide their shaved head. « Usually I’m the one coming to wake you up. To what do I owe the pleasure?» And Asidera tried with all their might not to hiss between their teeth the last word, forcing a smile onto their lips.

« My son is back,» Sun smiled wide, like the notion was a surprise even to himself. Asidera knew that very well: it has been three days since his return and in that time Asidera saw him – unsurprisingly enough – just once.

« Yes, First Eye, I’m aware, I saw him jumping from a window just before retiring,» Asidera had stood frozen onto the spot, unfazed, while Windriser was still jumping high into the sky and letting himself drop at a terrifyingly speed, waiting for the wind to catch him and doing the same thing over and over again, as if he had to get accustomed once more to the gravity of Sun’s lands.

Roxas had come back bringing gifts from Moon’s kingdom and even though that was another novelty per se, at the same time Asidera was aware it shouldn’t have surprised them that much: Moon was a kind soul and Sun had just sent his own son to deal with an emergency, in a world that didn’t know how it would welcome him: a gift should’ve been expected and yet it still made Asidera’s face pinch in surprise. Although the gifts were nothing special (a necklace for Windriser and a charm for Sun), they couldn’t deny the huge worth they held.

Asidera waited for Sun to start walking so that they could follow. Sun turned toward the inner halls of the castle – and that was surprisingly still because Asidea truly thought he would’ve gone to the garden or toward the shore, his favourite places to think and sometimes to laze off. But this time, Sun seemed focused on something Asidera couldn’t quite get, a puzzle that they had always known for many, many lives and realizing only now there were still empty spots before their very eyes.

« I’m sure you didn’t wake me up just to tell me what Moon had gifted you,» Asidera commented.

Sun shook his head. « I have called the Masters for a meeting.»

Asidera stopped in their tracks, waiting for Sun to realize they’ve been left behind a couple of steps. He was still talking but Asidera wasn’t actually listening. When First Eye turned, he approached them once again.

« You never call the Masters unless it’s urgent,» said Asidera first.

« I’ve also called the Rays. And their Masters. Just to be sure.»

That made Asidera even more suspicious. For any kind of urgency inside the provinces, Inner Circles’ meeting were enough. But calling every single Ray and their respective Master meant something was up: calling for a council so vast meant disaster had stricken somewhere – and Asidera just knew it hadn’t.

Asidera narrowed their eyes, suspicion dawning on their features. « Just to be sure of what exactly, First Eye?»

Sun laughed, but there was no joy in that: just nervousness. « You can never know. Anything could happen.»

« Did you set something on fire?» Asidera still remembered the time Sun had set fire to the Great Hall where the ceremonies and the balls would usually took places: he got way too excited when seeing the score of the day, and the idea of dancing until the end of the ceremony was just the last spark needed to light the whole place up. It took Raincatcher herself to deal with the problem and after the incident Sun was deeply mortified.

« What? _No_! No, I didn’t— _com’on_, you can’t think that,» and he wrapped his arm around theirs, walking forward side by side – that didn’t do anything but adding even more suspicion to the whole affair. Sun was walking with a brisk pace, like he was in a hurry to reach the meeting. He was discussing about anything and nothing at the same time, avoiding the question at hand by talking Asidera’s ears off – something that was already strange per se, since usually it was the other way around, with Sun trying to escape as fast as he could from them.

When they reached the meeting, the room was packed: it wasn’t exactly tiny – none of Sun’s room was anyway – but with all those people, the hall didn’t seem nearly enough to contain them all. Sun had summoned his entire Inner Circle: his son Roxas, two Masters of Land, two Trades, two Steel, two Threads, his two High Gardeners, the two High Librarians (one and a half actually: Ienzo, the High Librarian’s son, was still an apprentice, but he would’ve inherit the title one day) and one Master Architect. And all around his Inner Circle, stood the twelve Rays, each of them with their respective Masters.

The moment Asidera and Sun walked into the room, everyone stopped in their tracks, conversations cut clean and all eyes directed toward them. The Rays and the Masters bowed their head in his direction while Sun walked toward the end of the table, greetings everyone – he shook hands with Sili and when Sun moved forward to take his place, Asidera saw the Ray shot a look at Roxas and wink at him. Windriser showed a tiny smile at the corner of his lips, moving so he could stand at his right.

Asidera went to stand to his left. The energy of the room was all off: they could see most of the Masters were genuinely curious about the whole matter, but Asidera could spot few anxious individuals, pale skin and lips taunt in a thin line. The two Gardeners sister were sitting next to each other, looking at Sun with curious eyes: they were the only two people who were actually smiling up at him, like encouraging him to talk.

« Thank you for being here. I know it was all so sudden.» Sun said, his voice carrying around the room. No one said anything. When he went to sit down, the Masters and the Rays did the same. « I hope your journeys went well.»

« What’s the purpose of this summoning, First Eye?» Sili was unsurprisingly the first one to talk. She was wearing an informal attire: a loose shirt with a high-waist skirt that highlighted the wideness of her hips – Asidera had to admit that, even in that, Sili could still be as beautiful as ever.

All eyes returned to the sovereign, who was standing still under their inquisitive gaze.

« Moon’s kingdom is in bad shape. Vanitas had destroyed most of the crops in the capital and even with his province’s help, things are dire.»

Asidera didn’t comment on that, but they close their eyes briefly in disbelief anyway at the first words of his sentence. They shouldn’t have been surprising and yet, Asidera still turned their gaze toward him, looking at the firm line of Sun’s jaw, the sparkling freckles peppered around his cheeks that were shining so dimly. In the room, no one talked, as if expecting something else from him.

« After Tempest’s passage, houses need reparations. His people needs food, warm clothes. They’re in a crisis right now.»

« We’re talking about Moon,» Even said, a long cigarillo between his slender fingers. The scent reminded Asidera of honey and something sweet on the tongue. The High Librarian took a long drag from the mouthpiece, green eyes staring into Sun’s, « have you already convinced him, First Eye? Or are we just going to send him a bunch of things with a “get-well-soon” card?»

« I talked with him just yesterday. He accepted our help,» and Asidera couldn’t help but hearing the annoyance in his voice – five minutes and Even was already getting on his nerves. There was something else hidden behind his words that Asidera couldn’t read between the lines, but Sun’s lips had thinned like he was about to say something and thought better of it. They briefly wondered how many hours he had spent trying to convince Moon to just accept the help, assuring him he would have not asked anything in return.

« Many houses were destroyed during our… family discussion,» Roxas said, crossing his arms and leaning forward on the table. « I’ve cast the clouds my cousin left from his sky, but this doesn’t exactly fix the damages I’ve caused. Sending him help is the least we could do anyway.»

Asidera smiled at his words, a tiny thing that tugged upward the corner of their lips. Windriser rarely talked during these kinds of meeting, rather staying in silence and just watching everyone who spoke. The fact that he had decided to side with his father clearly for once stole a smile from them – and when they turned, Asidera noticed he stole it from Sili as well.

Even hummed a sound of agreement in the back of his throat, taking another drag of the cigarillo.

« I’m sure this is not the only reason you called us here, right?» said Moravi, one of the two Master of Land. She was wearing the fanciest clothes she had, every kind of jewellery she owned shining on her arms and neck and on her ears. « You would just call the Inner Circle for this matter. But you called all the Rays and the Masters, so it’s not an ordinary situation.»

Lea made a minute movement of his head. « It is not the only reason.»

The silence that fell in the room became deafening and the only audible sound was the crackling of Even’s cigarillo when he took another drag.

And then, Lea spoke.

« I’ve decided to invite Moon in my kingdom to discuss personally about this matter.»

Amidst the sudden chaos in the room and the buzzing in their ears, Asidera heard perfectly a distinctive voice.

It was Roxas’.

« What _the fuck _did you just say?»

*

Sun was expecting that kind of reaction.

Lea had tortured his hands for hours when the idea had started to grow in his head just three days before, more precisely after another conversation with Moon. He didn’t sounded as worried as when he talked about Vanitas and the chaos he was bringing: but now Moon was dealing with the ruins of his passage and Sun just knew what he was going through. He couldn’t remember the details, but Sun remembered the story from a page of the Masters’ records – the few lines that had been written, at least: Vanitas had wreaked havoc for an entire week and after that, the capital and his provinces were a _mess_ – especially Agne, a province standing and prospering on a lagoon.

And Sun had a good climate to begin with and a court of fae that were willing to help. Moon was watching over a harsh kingdom that had been reduced to its knees all of sudden. And from what Roxas told him, with just one fae on his side.

The thought of having his people unable to stand up again after something like that tugged at a special heartstring.

« We’re going to be fine, First Eye,» Moon had told him when Sun expressed his worry. « Just like the lavender, we thrive when the air gets colder and the earth is heavy. My people and I know how to survive.» And that had just made Sun even more worried, because Lea didn’t want Moon to just survive: he wanted him to embrace life just the same way his people did.

« I know you can, you survived this long without my help and you certainly can do it now,» and Sun had thought well about his next words, because it would’ve been crucial for the next course of action and the last thing he wanted was undermining his ruling, « but I know how Tempest is. He’s ruined my people and my lands too. And we stood up once again because I had a vast network of fae,» _and a climate that allowed my people to really thrive constantly, through thick and thin,_ but that Sun did not say. « Please, let me lend you some help, Moon.»

Moon had sighed at that. Sun could still remember the annoyance in his voice and before he could say anything else, Sun had added, « do it for your people. And if it’s not for them, do it for your own daughter.» And that instantly shut Moon down, because if there was something Sun could use as leverage it was that – and he knew it because if the role were reversed, Moon would’ve done the same with him.

Sun had expected a rigid reply, the voice of a king: cold, distant, a stranger. But instead, Moon had just huffed a laugh, the sound of tiny bells going directly to his ear, so soft it almost sounded like a whisper, a secret shared. « First Eye, I hope you’re not using my own daughter against me,» but there was no reprimand or threat in his voice. Just genuine entertainment.

Lea had smiled into his mask. « Would that convince you to get the help I’m offering?» For a moment he had been afraid to break the silence that stretched between them; but if he hadn’t, maybe things would’ve gone pretty differently. « I don’t want anything from you, Celestial. We’ve been allies for centuries, I know this. For this one, let me be a friend.»

And at that, Moon had fallen into deep silence.

It took a while to get an answer from him.

« I will think about it, First Eye. But thank you for your words.»

And the conversation had died.

_[Not exactly. _

_When Lea had thanked him for the gift, Isa had said: _

_« Do you have anything you want to ask me?»_

_And Sun had thought about it for a moment, pondering on the possible questions he had in mind, but everything he wanted to say was already said. « I don’t think so. Just… think about what I told you. We will gladly help.» _

_Moon had just made a sound in the back of his throat and nothing more.]_

Ideas are peculiar things. Once you feel its distant echo in the back of your mind, that voice will do nothing but grow stronger and stronger until you find yourself with a new focus: with Lea, it went exactly like that. Sun was checking the status of his crops in the second province when his minds had started buzzing, whispering until it became louder and stronger and Sun was unable to even focus on the matter at hand.

_If I could just let him know, if I could just prove to him that I really wanna help,_ Sun was thinking while listening to the thorough report from the Master of Land, standing just next to his Ray. And he thought and thought until the idea had started to screech.

_What if I just showed him? _

Lea knew words could do so much. And after the help Roxas had lent to his kingdom (and the things he saw and wasn’t supposed to see), of course Moon was suspicious of it. Sun could guess his thoughts from there, even standing in the middle of his crops, the voice of the Master in one ear and Moon’s likely thoughts: “what if he’s doing everything to get something back?”; “What if he’s just trying to make his way inside the kingdom?”; What if he wants to steal like _those fae_?”. He couldn’t blame him given his history, but Sun truly had no other reason aside from trying to be helpful. And discover more from that closed off kingdom, but that was just an added bonus. A _great_ added bonus, but _still_.

He was curious about his figure, the stories Roxas told him had done nothing but fueling that hunger; but once again, Sun was willing to wait; he was willing to feed on the sparse details Moon was letting through in their conversations.

But then again, Lea was looking for friendship; for he gained no satisfaction from bargaining.

So truly: what if he just showed Moon a measure of trust?

And now there he was.

Standing in a crowded room, with all these people talking and hearing nothing of what they were actually saying. The wind had died, leaving the space almost stuffy. When he turned to Roxas, his son was looking at him like he had just received a knife between his shoulder blades and not expecting for his father to hold the blade. Asidera on his left looked like they had just stopped breathing, pupils blown out, lips slightly parted. The Masters and the Rays were either talking among them or just staring at him in search for answers – as Ienzo was doing, for example, a small smile on his lips. He was truly the only one who was smiling, curious about the whole thing.

Even had stopped smoking, cigarillo forgotten in his fingers, the ash softly falling onto the table.

Lea started snapping his fingers. « Masters, Rays, quiet now,» and continued until the noise eventually died down. « I know this comes as a shock—»

« A _shock_?!» The Master of Steel had spoken, standing on the other side of the table: it was a woman with blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and the attitude of someone who once was a war general. Her face had become a grimace of disgust and bewilderment. « The Silver Crown had never touched our kingdom and for sure, First Eye, you had never walked into his. This is madness.»

The Rays around the table started to tap their fingers onto the golden drop under their eye, agreeing in full with the Master’s words.

« Elrena, if we invite him here, we’ll show him we could be more than just allies. We could establish a connection that is founded of friendship and _full_ trust, something we both lack given our history,» Lea explained. « I understand your uncertainty,» and the room exploded into more noise, like Sun wasn’t really talking. He breathed though his nose and out with his mouth, fire rage filling his throat and threatening to explode with the right spark.

That would’ve taken a while. He should’ve known, but that didn’t make him annoyed any less.

« First Eye, with all due respect, have you given a thought of what you’re proposing? What that could entail?» Moravi asked. Her words were firm, but her voice was unsteady, like she wasn’t so sure about asking but felt like she had to.

« I have called you all here because I want to know exactly that,» Sun said, directing his words to the whole room. « If I were to summon Moon here, I want to know the effects that his presence might cause here in my lands.»

« We can’t know for sure, First Eye,» Even responded, smoke coming out from the corner of his mouth. He looked like a dragon like this. « Moon had never walked this earth. We have no records of that.»

« Maybe it happened before we started the records,» Ienzo added, « but we have no way to know. We don’t even know anything about him. Maybe the only one who actually has a shred of information is Windriser.»

All eyes went to Roxas: he was sitting in silence, mouth turned into a grimace that Lea couldn’t decipher. When he spoke, his voice was dragging – he sounded like he didn’t want to be in the room anymore.

« I sat next to Moon when he invited me at his table. If my father radiates warmth, Moon is his direct opposite,» and he had to stop when the Rays had started to talk once again, shouting questions Windriser wasn’t willing to answer given the fiery look he shot to the whole room. He resumed his speech when Sun started snapping his fingers in the attempt to regain their focus. « He doesn’t freeze the ground under his feet, of that I’m certain,» and that was the only thing that actually stole a weak laughter from the room. « But he’s undoubtedly cold, his whole court lives inside his castle wearing capes and scarves and anything else that might warm them up.»

Sun nodded, returning with his gaze to the whole room. « This would also be a great occasion to know what effect he will have on our lands for future reference.»

« Why’s that? You want it to become a weekly occurrence? Inviting Moon here over tea, have a chat?» Sili asked, tilting her head slightly to the side. « First Eye, we don’t know what effect he will have on the lands, on the climate, on… _anything_. For millennia, Sun had walked over this earth and Moon over his own, no stepping of boundaries. You’re asking us to deal with unknown cards and we don’t even know how much are we risking. Moon will have to walk through four provinces at the very least; it will take him five days to get to the capital, three if he and his court have a fast pace. _Five days_, First Eye.»

Sili wasn’t wrong – and the furious tapping on the golden drop from the others made it clear. If Moon travelled fast enough, it would take three days from the Veil to reach the capital. He would have to stop at some point to rest. What could possibly be the effect on those lands? What if the cold affected his people and their crops? How would his people react to this king, coming from a kingdom they’ve heard nothing about aside from the name? He couldn’t know anyone of those single things, no answers whatsoever coming to mind. Sili was right: it was like dealing with unknown cards. It would result into victory or defeat – and Sun really didn’t wanna know what defeat would entail.

« But we don’t know what his effects are on this land,» Lea tried to say, but Sili was already on his throat.

« Exactly! We don’t know! First Eye, we know nothing of this sovereign aside from an economic standpoint. We don’t know what he’s going to bring here; maybe he won’t bring us anything and he will just pass through like a cold breeze. But what if it’s worse?» And Sili now was showing the actual worry behind all her rage. Sun could understand that; maybe it was the only thing he could actually comprehend among all that chaos and the questions. « I understand the curiosity, First Eye. How many children in Meridiana stand before the Veil, craving to see what’s on the other side. I stood there too once. But is that really worth it?»

The room fell silent under that. Sun was listening, but his head kept pounding into his ears with the force of war drums, splitting his head in two. His fingers felt like the cracking of thunder under his skin and his freckles were burning up his cheeks.

Namine spoke up first.

« If I may,» she said, leaning slightly forward, voice soft but steady, « I don’t think Moon’s presence will have an immediate effect on the land.»

Everyone turned their eyes at her.

« What makes you say that?» Moravi asked her, genuinely curious.

« You’re thinking about an immediate reaction like his simple presence might freeze the land over in a minute. But we have living proof that, yes, his kingdom might be cold but,» and turned her eyes toward Roxas, « he’s not dead.»

« We cannot think in this simplistic ways like “if he’s alive, then that means everyone will be alive after his passage”,» Elrena said, crossing her arms like the whole thing had already exhausted her. « Also, Sun’s people are not fae.»

« Fae’s blood runs hotter than humans’,» Kairi added in response, « that means we actually take longer than you to get accustomed to new temperatures and we’re even more sensible to shifts. If Moon’s kingdom were actually cold as you make it to be, Roxas would’ve died on the spot.»

« But, from what he has told us, there was a fae inside his court that was perfectly fine,» Namine said right after.

Roxas stiffly nodded. « Raincatcher’s companion. His clothes didn’t even seem heavy as the ones that the Masters were wearing.»

Namine spoke once again, addressing the whole court. « That means he had been living there for quite a while.»

« And he had even decided to stay. Dealing fae can still deny deals if they feel unsafe,» Kairi added once again, talking precisely when Namine stopped. They were perfectly in synth, like they were one single entity split in two.

« So the fact that Roxas is still alive is a perfect proof of what we should expect. Will there be a shift in the temperature? Yes. Should we wait for a catastrophe? I don’t think so. Will the people be alright? If us fae can deal with that kind of cold, I think you will too.»

« And you’re not considering another thing,» Kairi said in a sing song voice, stealing a smile from Sun.

« Roxas went to Moon’s kingdom without his direct opposite being present: our First Eye. I am positive that that cold he had felt in Moon’s lands will not hit him the same way while staying here,» Namine directed her gaze toward Sili. « You’re worried about the temperature and we might have the solution to it, too.»

Sun felt the weight of both their High Gardeners’ eyes on him.

« Lend a bit of your power to Windriser, like you do when you’re going into Long Sleep.»

« And let him travel all the way here with Moon. Like that, we could prevent any harsh shift in temperature. At least for a brief period of time.»

« The time necessary for his passage, coming and going—»

« And then it’s done,» they both concluded, nodding once. And with that, the room fell silent once again.

Sun didn’t know how to respond to that – and neither did the others, all leaning toward the girls but not saying a single word. Sili too was speechless, eyes darting from the two Gardeners to Sun, to Asidera, and then returning to the two girls.

« We’re still talking about a ten-days travel,» Even said, making them turn toward him, « it’s a lot of time for a place who had never known cold. The effects won’t be immediate, sure, but we will feel them in due time.»

« There’ll be something, yes, and the solution we’ve given is not suitable for much longer periods of time, but we cannot know what,» Kairi said, returning with his eyes to Sun, « unless we try for ourselves.»

« Oh, I’ve always wanted to know what kind of flowers they grow in Moon’s kingdom,» Namine said, mind already turning toward her main focus.

« And I want to know everything! This is our chance to learn something about Moon’s kingdom, we could update our records on his lands, if he’s willing to share some information,» Ienzo said, basically bouncing on the chair, running a hand through his hair. He was so excited his voice did tremble and Even had to put a hand on his shoulder to prevent him to actually start jumping here and there.

The voices among the room were nothing more than murmurs now, a beehive of thoughts made words that Sun couldn’t catch. When he turned his eyes around, he didn’t saw the pressing worry, the shock that he saw earlier: they all still looked quite uncertain, whispering around, shooting a look at their own Ray as if they could hold the solution of the whole matter.

« I want to hear from the Master of Star,» Oryen said, standing right next to the Master of Steel. « I trust your judgement, First Eye, and I trust the High Gardeners as well. But I won’t be sure until I hear from them.»

Sun turned toward Asidera. From the moment he opened the meeting, they didn’t speak a single word, eyes simply going from one interlocutor to another, listening intently but not making a sound or even nodding their head in agreement. Asidera looked around for a moment, eyes scanning everyone as if the answer was on their clothes, jewels, hair. Sun was hanging on that moment like a man on a thread.

When Asidera went to look at him, Sun didn’t even smile in their direction. He could see deep lines of worry edged into his forehead, lips thin.

Then they turned toward the room. « I go where First Eye goes. If he thinks this is the right path, I will follow with steady steps.»

And after that, everyone bowed their heads. Everyone, except Sili.

Sun turned toward her: she seemed angry, but it was a diluted anger that was transforming quickly into sadness. He wanted to be angry at her, because she was showing the kind of arrogance that if left unchecked would have undermine his power in front of everyone – something he wanted to avoid in front of his whole court and Circles. But then again, Sun understood her rage; that need to protect her own people no matter the cost.

After a long pause, Sili finally bowed her head – a rigid movement, almost mechanic, that made Sun cringe.

« First Eye,» she said, « starting today, your crown has started to weigh more. May your head stay upright under this burden.»

She was the first to leave the room, her Masters soon behind. When Roxas offered her a sympathetic smile, she didn’t reciprocate.

*

Sun’s Masters stayed even after every Ray left the room to return to their lands and their duties. The room felt much lighter now, wind coming through the window as if it was able to take away the tension that had filled it since the beginning of the meeting. Every other discussion from there on had been almost pointless, words floating in the air but with no real gravity. Everyone’s mind was already focused on Moon. They rescheduled to meet once again in a couple of days – the time for Sun to speak to Moon once again and trying this time to convince him to come. The whole conversation had left Asidera spent, devoid of any energy. Having a foreign sovereign walking freely in their lands, one who had a specific effect on everything around them, the precise opposite of Sun – that was enough to send Asidera’s mind off the rails, spiralling on a downward curve with no way to refocus.

Asidera had to think about the matter alone, a tiny step after the other. As a Master of Star, Asidera had to show the stability and unshakable trust toward Sun, even in moments where that trust felt unsteady: that was their duty. They were born for that. They would _not_ waver under that burden.

Sun was tapping slowly the tip of his index finger on the corner of his lips – a movement Asidera learnt to read as a result of nervousness, a gesture he was used to do after every difficult meeting. His eyes were staring at a non-specific point on the table, but they were unfocused as though he wasn’t really seeing.

« Understand her rage, First Eye,» Asidera said, hands crossed on their lap, « the Veil is close to her city. Whatever effect Moon will have on the lands, her people will feel it first.»

First Eye nodded, but Asidera wasn’t sure he was actually listening.

« Keep under tight surveillance the provinces where Moon will have to stop by,» Asidera told the Masters, « I don’t think he will stop in Meridiana, but it’s possible he will in Semna and Sabai next. At least two stops, if we’re lucky. Then it’s the capital.»

Kairi nodded. « It is possible those two will have greater problems. The houses in Sun’s kingdom are not exactly designed to keep the warmth in and we don’t need covering clothes anyway, so that’s another thing to solve.»

« You think we will have problems in the capital as well? Moon will stop for several hours at the very least.»

« There’s also da consider Sun’s influence here. The capital is the warmest among the provinces; if we’re lucky, the effects here will be mild or even none.»

« You all need to remember these are just hypothesis: there’s still no way to know,» Namine added, « that is one thing we have to discover on our own just by waiting and seeing. Change, yes, but not impending catastrophe; of that we’re both certain.»

Sun talked. « Tomorrow we shall call the Rays of Semna and Sabai, see if there’s something we can do to help them.»

Everyone fell silent. The Masters didn’t say anything, nor the Gardeners, who looked at him almost apologetically, nor the Librarians. Asidera had nothing to add: Namine wasn’t wrong, they could stay there and talk about thousands of other possible problems that might rise or not, but that wouldn’t change the situation. To discover what effect Moon would have on the land, they’d had to see for themselves by waiting for his arrival.

« The best course of action is lending Windriser’s a bit of your power to… mitigate his influence while travelling with him, as Namine explained,» Even said, cigarillo now spent and holding just the mouthpiece in his fingers. « For everything else, it’s pointless to cross our bridges before coming to them. We will have to wait and see for ourselves, First Eye. Nothing more and nothing less.»

And that concluded the meeting.

When the Circle left, the only ones who remained in the room were the fae and Sun.

« Are you sure you want to do this?» Roxas asked. His voice betrayed tiredness. « I agree with Elrena: this land had never known cold. I knew what to expect. Your people won’t.»

« First Eye is not wrong,» Asidera found themselves saying, leaning slightly forward so they could actually see Windriser. They hated agreeing with Sun, but sometimes (every once in a while) that was an occurrence that could actually come up. « We’ve traded with Moon for thousand of years; ally and nothing more than that. We’ve never asked for anything more than a trading companion. Now that we’ve found an opening after helping him with Vanitas, this is our chance to prove to him we can be something more.»

Roxas shook his head and got up. « I hope you know what you’re doing,» he said, while leaving the table, « I’d hate agreeing with Sili.»

When Asidera left, decided to go back to his own room and rethink about everything that just had happened, Roxas was waiting for him outside their room. He had his arms crossed and his face was showing a very specific emotion that Asidera had never encountered on his features.

Worry.

« Windriser,»

Upon their call, Roxas lazily moved his head toward them.

« Concern doesn’t suit you well,» they tried to joke, but the lines of worry edged into his forehead didn’t soften. « Kairi and Namine are not wrong. If fae can get used to the cold with no problems, everyone else will too. Human tend to look at the worst-case scenario when they’re scared of the unknown.»

« I’m not worried for the cold,» Roxas commented, returning with his eyes to the ground, unfocused. « I’m worried about my father.»

« This is not the first time Sun has taken a decision that the Circle doesn’t like. It always ended well,» _and_ _what if this is the time it will end bad?_, and Asidera mentally kicked themselves for this sudden distrust. Roxas nodded nonetheless, but he didn’t actually seem convinced.

« I’m not afraid of Moon’s influence on the crops or on the people, I don’t think either there will be the great catastrophe that Sili is so worried about,» Roxas replied, bare foot banging lazily on the wall behind him.

« Then what are your concerns?»

Silence. When Windriser talked, his voice sounded like a whisper.

« I’m afraid of Moon’s influence on my father. That’s my concern.»

And Asidera, regrettably enough, in the silence of his own mind, had to agree.

*

Sun retired into his rooms soon after.

He didn’t want to see anyone and for certain he didn’t want to look at one single parchment after that meeting. He remained at the balcony, looking in front of him, at the row of houses he could see, at the voices he could faintly hear from there above the whistling of the wind and the roaring of the waves. In his hands, Sun kept the lock of hair that Moon had gifted him. He still didn’t know why he hadn’t told Asidera the truth, deciding to draw a line of lies that went from his own son all the way up to his most trustworthy advisor.

He didn’t even know why he held it in the first place. He hoped it could unravel some deep secret, the way everything could just go right for once. Sun had never asked for anything, always did whatever he could to make his people happy and stay safe and sound; always made promises and went his way to keep them. For the first time, Sun wanted to be selfish: he wanted to be a friend to someone else. He wanted to know his ally in person, seeing him – even if that would entail look at a veil and not actually at the person behind. Sun wanted to be arrogant in his desire to give back.

_But is that worth it?,_ Sili had asked. And Sun really hoped it was.

He was willing to pray to invisible stars and wish that everything he was doing was actually worth it. His selfishness had a cost and if the price was really steep, Sun didn’t want his people to pay for his own mistakes.

_Let me be selfish for once_, Lea thought, tightening his hold around the lock of hair, _for once, with no regrets, let me be selfish. _

When Sun finally decided to speak to Moon, both Asidera and Roxas sat down with him.

« First Eye,» Moon said and Sun could hear the faint smile in his voice, like he was for once actually glad to hear him. He talked first. « Do you have something to ask me?»

« Yes,» Lea responded, feeling a lump stuck in his throat and worried Moon could actually feel his voice all choked up and tiny and not the talk of a king whatsoever, « I wanted to ask you if you have given any thought to what I told you last time.»

« Oh.»

Moon almost sounded surprised, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting. But before Lea had the chance to ask him about it, the moment was gone and Moon returned to his usual, closed off self. « Yes, I thought about it. First Eye, your generosity is much appreciated, but—»

« Would you be willing to discuss about it here?»

The words stumbled out all wrong, with the wrong imposition, everything the result of a mistake that now was out of his mouth with no chance to get it back. Sun closed his eyes and for once he was actually grateful no one outside could see his mortified expression – but he could imagine Asidera’s face, the disappointment, the need to strangle him and eloping somewhere else (and actually, Sun thought he would’ve probably done the same if the roles were reversed).

From the other side came no sound.

« Pardon me?»

Sun swallowed down the pin stuck between his vocal chords. « I’m inviting you to come here to discuss it personally,» he said softly, almost uncertain, « it would be a great occasion for us—»

« I cannot do that, First Eye.»

The response shouldn’t have hurt him like a punch to the face and yet it did all the same.

« Why not? We could discuss about what you need in person. And you’d see my country, my people,» _and you’d see me and I’d see you and maybe you’d tell me about the stars and I’d show you the ocean_, and Lea bit his tongue rather than saying such embarrassing things in front of the others. « Let me be your friend, Moon.»

« Last time someone tried to be my friend, something very precious was stolen from me,» and there was venom in his words, like Sun had just tried to pry open something that was off limits to him and anyone else that wasn’t Moon.

« I have no reason to steal anything from you, Celestial. As I said, I just want to help your people. I have nothing to ask in return but your trust,» Sun replied, raising his head high. There was no comment from the other side and he took it as a way to continue. « You showed my son your reign. You invited him at your table and shared wine with him. You took care of him. Let me return the favour, Moon. Let me invite you at my table, drink from my goblet and let’s discuss the matter at hand. Then you can go your way, return to your starry sky and never see me again, if you so desire,» _but for this one just let me,_ and Lea didn’t even know _what_ he was asking for, but he needed _to ask_ and needed an _answer_ and that’d be enough.

Moon remained silent at that. Sun was no thief and yes, he was curious about his person and his world and everything in between. But he also wanted to help him because if there was someone that could completely understand the miles Lea could go to help his people, that was Moon. That was something they both understood; something that actually connected them even from afar.

« Can you give me one night to think about it, First Eye?»

That was the least Sun could’ve expected.

« As many nights as you want, Moon. I’ll be waiting.»

And the deep silence from the other side told him that Moon had already left.

*

Moon called him the next day – or night, as he might name it.

His answer was a simple _“no”._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "stronger than ever" // raleigh ritchie


	12. sticks and stones have made me smarter, it's words that cut me under my armor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the longest wait possible and the chapter isn't even that long, sorry for that. in other news, i moved to england and im living with my gf. this is still a lot to take in.   
a few more chapters and they'll meet i promise you, i swear

« Why would you say no?»

There was no anger in that tone of voice, but Moon could see surprise in his daughter’s face, the slightly parting of lips, the tilt of her head to the side. She was wearing more comfortable clothes than the one she was used to keep in their court and her feet were walking lightly among the sleeping stars; sometimes she would take one in her hands to take a closer look and then she would put it down once again, with such grace and care Moon could even think that star was a small child.

They were in the star field, the only place where the both of them could speak plainly and freely of any court’s etiquette. Moon was kneeling in the centre of the field, the light of the stars radiating a dim light against his heavy clothes. The conversation with Sun had been brief and when he removed the mask from his face, Xion had just exited the door, leaving it just ajar like she was in a rush to get out.

That shouldn’t have surprised him that much: Moon had seen the way Xion had been eyeing the Veil the past days, eyes always lingering on the unmoving glass before returning to whatever required her attention at the moment. He had seen her looking out in its direction even when it was impossible to actually see it, the glowing lights around her feet making her seem like a banshee coming out of the lagoon in search of something she had lost.

Moon rushed out of the castle as soon as his conversation with Sun ended. He reached the field on foot, passing by the ruined lands and broken trees. She was already tending to the stars when he reached her, her back turned toward him. When he went to sit down, Xion didn’t even turn – and he knew she heard him with all those rustling of clothes. So when she asked him about it, Moon couldn’t be surprised by it.

But he had no answer to give her. Everything he would have said were all things Xion already knew, because those were the same notions she had been living with all her endless lives – the reclusion, the isolation from any kind of contacts with outside worlds in fear of _something_, the knowledge that no matter what, if things stayed the same, nothing would have come to harm them. So when Sun asked him, Moon got scared: unknown lands that meant changing and changing could mean harm.

_I only have her. _

« We don’t know his true intentions.» It physically stung Moon thinking that Sun could ever harm him after everything he had done for his reign. And yet, he couldn’t forget how foolish he had been in the past, pretending that the baring of fangs was just another way to smile.

« Windriser’s dealt with his cousin without asking anything back from us. His father sent him into foreign lands just because he heard my plea. It could’ve been a trap, I could’ve lied. And yet he helped us anyway.»

« Sun has nothing to lose.»

« I doubt his son is worth nothing to him,» Xion snapped back, venom in her voice like the reply her father gave her struck a nerve. She didn’t actually seem angry but there was something in her features that looked like disapproval. Then, as if to read her father’s thoughts, her shoulders deflated and all her disappointment vanished, leaving only behind a trail of sadness. « Windriser is fae, that is true, but he still could’ve died. He came and helped us anyway and he didn’t even know us.»

« It is known we’re generally pacific people,» Moon replied, « there was no reason for him not to trust us.»

« And yet, although you know very well Sun’s nature, you do not trust him.»

There was no way to win this battle of wits. Xion didn’t seem to understand his point of view and she, after hearing such wonders from Sun’s son, just wanted a chance to even get a glimpse of everything he had told her. He couldn’t exactly be mad at Windriser’s behaviour: he didn’t surprise him in the least when Xion returned bringing news from that outside world, talking about seas that were like upside down skies and giants creatures living at the bottom of the ocean.

He offered her his hand, sighing. « Come here.»

She seemed to ponder long and hard about that, like she had a choice to make. Then she sighed and got closer, kneeling directly next to him instead of grasping his hand. Moon opened his long, starry cape enough for Xion to lie down on the grass, head leaning on his bent knees. She didn’t actually feel the cold, but Moon knew how much she liked the feeling of having something soft falling on her shoulder; so he let the cape collect around her when she found a more comfortable position, drawing the knees to her chest.

« I know you’d love to go see for yourself his world,» he said softly, threading his hand down her short hair, the stardust in her locks catching between the space of his fingers, « but it’s safer here,» _for the both of us_, but this he didn’t say.

Curiosity was not exactly something he’d seen often in his daughter’s features, nor was disappointment. But now Xion’s eyes were veiled with an emotion that Moon couldn’t decipher. She was looking ahead, at the lights on the ground, eyes fluttering close after a while. And Moon actually thought she was really asleep when he didn’t hear another word from her.

But then she actually spoke up.

« I will see the ocean. Just not tonight.»

And there was a sense of promise and drive in her voice that actually made him smile under the veil.

*

Moon’s words shouldn’t have have left him so stunned and yet Sun felt like Moon had just punched the mask and somehow the knuckles had reached for his teeth. His ‘_no’_ was inflexible, rigid and cold much like the first conversation he had with him the first time. He didn’t give an explanation, but somehow it seemed like he didn’t need to give out one. After that, Moon apologised for whatever reason, bid his goodbyes and the mask fell silent.

When Lea removed his own, he didn’t need to say anything for the other two to understand what the answer was. Asidera was looking at him with head raised high, like the outcome was something they had been expecting and their whole attitude – from they way they were arching one eyebrow ever so slightly to the crossing of legs – was basically saying “I didn’t actually say it, but somehow I told you so”. Roxas was just munching on an apple, legs raised on the table and one arm abandoned at his side, regarding his father with something Lea couldn’t actually read.

« Are you that surprised by his answer?» Asidera cut his train of thoughts. He couldn’t tell if it was a genuine question or it was veiled with a thin layer of sarcasm that Sun couldn’t actually detect.

« I—» Sun tried to find the words. But his eyes kept redirecting toward the mask in his hands, wondering if that face was even distantly similar to Moon’s, if that nose was really round and tiny, if his lips were actually that plump. But no face came to mind except for the ones he had imagined so many times over he lost count of how many Moons he created.

He knew Moon had long, blue hair that fell down straight on his chest and from the little Roxas had seen, hands so pale you could spot right away the veins running under. But aside from those few details, everything else was up to Sun’s imagination. And now that his chance to see him in person was gone, he felt spent; but until that moment, Sun was really sure the answer would have been yes.

« I don’t know,» Lea replied, finger scraping the side of the mask’s nose, « I shouldn’t be surprised, but—»

« You expected him to say yes because you helped him, so you thought he had to owe you that much,» Roxas replied, gulping down the piece of apple. He was dangerously leaning back on the chair, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

« He doesn’t owe me anything, you know that,» Lea said, putting back the mask inside the box and closing the clasp.

« Maybe, and yet you really expected him to say yes. “I sent my own son there, I trust him so he should trust me too”,» Roxas raised his shoulders, grinning, « and I know you well enough to know _that_ was the reason behind all of that.»

Sun sighed, shoulder deflating. He wasn’t that wrong: some deep part of him really thought Moon would have just complied – because it was Sun asking and there was no real threat to expect in his lands and he had proved to him that Sun was trustworthy. And yet, that no felt like a slap to the face, as if everything he had done for him was nothing. But that was of thinking was wrong, he realized that: he couldn’t expect to have something in return for the help he had given out willingly without asking nothing back in the first place. That was his choice and he had to respect that.

But it still stung.

Windriser tilted his head to the side. « Am I wrong perhaps?»

Lea wanted to throw an entire apple tree at his face just to get rid of that wicked grin on his lips. « You know you aren’t,» _you little shit, always feeding on tricks_.

« Well, Sili will be _thrilled_ to hear the news,» Asidera said, getting up and smoothing down their long tunic.

« The word you were searching for might be “relieved”,» Roxas said, opening his mouth wide and swallowing down the whole core of the apple, munching on the seeds and the stalk.

« Nonetheless, I ought to give news to the Rays. And the Masters as well, I think Moravi had two consecutive meltdown since you called the meeting,» and bowed before exiting the room, leaving just the two of them alone.

Sun was moving the chest with the mask elsewhere, on top of the table, when Windriser talked.

« An ambrik for your thoughts,» and with that, Roxas threw him a small, pale coin that Lea caught instantly, rolling it between his fingers. The head was showing the palm of a hand with an eye wide open on it; on the tail, his symbol: a golden circle with an undulated line right in the middle and twelve straight segments surrounding it. The ambrik was the smallest coin among the others and its worth paled in comparison to every other currency – but then again, every coin was meaningless to Sun’s eyes.

The ambrik was also the lightest coin and its pallor was the direct result of the manufacturing of the amber – the same amber Lea shed when he cried.

He sighed, pocketing the coin. « Walk with me.»

It was almost common occurrence seeing the King walking down the streets of the city from time to time. And yet they would still stare and gape at him whenever he walked by, mane unkempt as usual, the clinking of his anklets announcing his passage. Men and women would bow before him, sometimes they would even exchange some quick words before leaving and attending to their own matters.

Solaria was the most opulent province – not so surprising considering it was the capital and the centre of power itself: you could see lavishness in everything, starting from the sumptuous fabric the people would wear around the city, their splendid clothes and bright colours. When the light of the day hit the surfaces of the houses just right the stone almost seemed pink and if you got closer to it, it almost seemed like golden specks were stuck inside. On almost every roof, his people had learnt how to grow their own personal garden – a humble thing, not even remotely close to anything Lea owned, but still pretty nonetheless, with vines growing around the ledges and small roots coming down the stone.

Windriser at his side had a brisk pace, walking with his hands behind his back and a bounce in his step. Lea knew that if the both of them had to talk about something, the easiest way to make Roxas talk and stay in a good mood for the whole conversation was just going into the city and walking around, kids naturally gravitating toward him as soon as they got a glimpse of his cape and his shot of blonde hair.

« You told me he looked lonely,» Lea said, bowing briefly his head toward a merchant who came closer just to salute him and then going back to his own devices once again, « I just want to be a friend. Why are you so surprised by the notion?»

« Moon’s been lonely since the beginning of time,» Roxas replied, « on the other hand, this is the first time we all see you that pressed over something.»

« That’s not true, you remember how many fire hoops I had to go through to convince Asidera to host the Games in Sabai, I was pressed there.»

« Yes, but you didn’t keep Asidera all day up and plaguing them to invite Moon over.»

Lea sighed out loud, running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. It was the kind of day where Roxas was winning at every kind of discussion and was all smug about it: the desire to throw him into the nearest river grew the more Windriser’s grin widened.

« I just—» And he made some gestures with the hand without actually meaning anything, grabbing thin air and running his hands back through his hair. He was trying to convey feelings he didn’t have a word for.

Windriser jumped on the sidewalk, taking swift steps along the ledge and watching his own feet even without the need to. He didn’t press forward and didn’t make fun of him: he just stood there and listened – even if there was no actual thing to listen to.

« He seemed lonely,» Lea said.

« You already told me that,» Roxas replied.

« Isn’t that enough reason to try and be his friend?»

« It actually isn’t?»

« You came here just because you wanted to see more and then you got a place in my court eventually. Why should this be any different?»

« I’m fae, Lea,» Windriser said, « it’s in my nature going wherever. The fact that I stopped here was the result of a series of casual events. But you and Moon are entities aside.»

« Yes, and for another series of casual events we could get closer, being friends more than allies.»

Roxas stopped in his tracks, watching Sun with something that almost looked like bewilderment. He scoffed. « Casualty doesn’t favour your kind, Sun.»

And it hurt knowing he was right. Fortune had always favoured the bold, but not the kind of boldness that Lea embodied. Fortune could turn around in circles and pick whomever she wanted for thousand of years and somehow her finger would have never even caressed an inch on Sun’s being. Having the kind of power he had was a blessing for many reasons, but as much as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a blessing could always be a double edged sword, turning into a curse in no seconds.

Moon had been cursed to a life of loneliness and the moment Sun wanted to stretch his hand toward him there was always something in the way: his people, his masters, the sense of duty, a long way of tradition. His own crown. So when Roxas said casualty doesn’t favour his kind, it was a hard thing to dispute.

He sighed, stopping right at the end of the bridge where they had been walking, Windriser dangerously perched on the railway. « You’re not wrong.»

A long silence stretched between them, the bustling of life brought him in and out of himself constantly, focusing on the river under him and unfocusing right after, eyes glazed over and brain buzzing loudly. He should have been content with the life he had, but how could he when there was someone so similar to him that lead a completely different life in a harsh world that now desperately needed help? It was in Sun’s nature helping others. He did for thousand of years with his own people, why shouldn’t he do the same for someone who had always known through trading affairs and nothing more?

Roxas dropped down on the railway, the movement refined and elegant and silent as a breeze. He leant forward so he could look at his dangling feet.

« You want a friend who’s closer to you,» Roxas said, « I mean, you’re both entities. It’s not that wrong to want more from someone who’s similar to you in everything,» he shrugged, « I just don’t understand why now.»

Lea shrugged as well. « Maybe the timing had always been off until now.»

Windriser smiled at that. « I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.»

They stayed in silent for a while, listening to their own thoughts or the sound of the river, it was all the same to them. When Roxas suddenly jumped out of the banister, Sun turned toward him.

« Too much information for you to process?» Sun joked, but Windriser wasn’t smiling.

« Moon told me something when he gave me your gift. I still don’t understand what he meant actually, because he speaks in riddles and I hate that kind of things, but I think this fits the occasion,» he said, « _You can ask, if you know what you’re asking for._»

Sun chuckled. « And I guess you know?»

Windriser showed him an arrogant grin. « I’m your son. Of course I do.» And with that, he turned around and walked away, back to the castle.

Lea remained still with his own thoughts, the echo of the river almost a distant buzz into his ears.

*

His people, stubborn and resilient as they were, held up alright. Most of them kept hard at work in fixing what has been broken and collecting materials – it was a constant coming and going in the streets that didn’t stop even when Moon came into the streets to see for himself what he could do personally. Terra was already there, helping as much as he could with the few Attendants that could actually be useful. From what he told him, things were slow but “we’ve always gotten up; why this should be any different?”. And he was right, because that had always been the belief of his people.

Thriving even in broken circumstances.

He went back to the castle, leaving everything in Terra’s hands – he still had to talk to him, but that would have to wait until Xion came back from her hunt. Until that moment, he would take care of anything else the Masters might have in store for him.

And he would have, had it not been for the Attendant telling him that the Mask required his immediate attention. He complied, but his mind was already racing for whatever discussion was waiting on the other side – he already told Sun he couldn’t go, so now he shouldn’t have been surprised to find him searching for valid reasons. Moon had still denied First Eye and as much as they were both king, they both knew who had always had the upper hand.

Moon closed the door behind himself and went to sit down on the chair, securing the mask around him.

He took a deep breath. « First Eye.»

« I’m afraid my father had other matters to attend to, Celestial.»

_Windriser_.

He didn’t know the rules around Sun’s mask, but Moon could guess that if someone were to found him with that object, Windriser would have been in a lot of trouble. As much as his own, Moon’s mask was almost a sacred object, reserved only for the ruler’s use and no one else. Hearing Windriser’s voice in his ears was jarring at most.

« I wanted to talk to you,» Windriser added before Moon could say anything else.

Moon made a minute sound in the back of his throat. He didn’t form an opinion on Sun’s son just yet, but he remembered that shock of blond hair, the round cheeks: a boy, very similar to his own daughter and yet living completely different lives. Moon would have lied to himself if he didn’t wonder, just once, how much her life would have been different if Xion’s path had diverted to Sun’s lands.

Even happier, but that he didn’t want to think.

« I know why you said no,» Windriser said, « and any other time, I would have left it at that, because this is a matter between two kings.»

« It is,» said Moon, firmly, « this is not your concern.»

« You’re right, it isn’t,» he replied, « but so was coming to help you.»

Moon knew the kind of fae that Windriser was: speaking their mind like there was no rule applying to their tongue, careless and uncaring. It stung hearing his words, not because they were false, they both it was the truth; it was because those words were coming from a minor entity, someone who fed on tricks just as much as his chaotic cousin. Now that he listened to his words, he could hear a distant resemblance.

« I made a promise to your daughter,» Windriser continued, « I _promised_ her I would have shown her the ocean.»

Moon remained silent. There was no casualty in that remark on the word ‘promised’. He was firm in his statement, but there was a rigidity there that was betraying a slight nervousness. Windriser was sure of what he was telling him, but at the same time, he seemed uncertain about how to go on with his speech. What else he could tell without sounding excessively arrogant or even demanding.

« Fae don’t give their words to someone so easily.»

« You don’t trust my father, for you think everything comes with a price and he’s just coming to settle, even after he repeatedly told you there’s no debt to repay.»

Moon didn’t say anything to that: they both knew that was the truth.

« But now your daughter have my word. I cannot rest easy knowing I owe her something.»

« You chose of your own volition to make that promise. That’s on you.»

On the other side, Windriser let out a sigh. It was a half-stifled thing that Moon heard even if he was sure he wasn’t supposed to. How many times Moon had sighed in the same, exasperated way when his court went off the rails after Tempest’s coming? How many times Windriser got exasperated as well, given his status and his fae instincts? How frustrated could he grow with a father like Sun, who was always going on his way, reckless and uncaring of his own court’s wishes?

Despite himself, Moon smiled behind the mask.

« You don’t trust him,» Windriser said, slowly, like weighing his own words, « and I understand that. I understand feeling like you cannot trust the people around you because they want something from you. But if you don’t trust him, then you could, for the briefest of time, trust my words. I have no reason to lie to you. I can’t. You can give me nothing of valour, for my father doesn’t make me want for anything. The only thing I want is to honour a promise. An open debt is death to a fae.»

Moon said nothing. He felt short for words. He knew what he was trying to do: convincing him by taking another less travelled road. And he was working because Windriser somehow perfectly knew the weight of his words, where his heart was resting and dissecting it in such a precise way Moon couldn’t do anything but standing there and just wait. But nothing more came from him.

« Hey, gotta run, I think if Asidera finds me here, they’ll probably behead me, bye, think about it, say hi to Xion, » and with that last childish remark, Windriser closed the communication and the only thing Moon was left to do was hearing the hollow sound coming from the other side.

_Say hi to Xion. _

It shouldn’t have struck him that much but that sentence didn’t leave his mind for a long time, not even when he left the room and called for Terra; not even when he found himself roaming through the halls of his palace. His castle was built to keep all the warmth in: his Masters designed it like that, so that it looked massive, imposing. And yet, closed off to the world, almost threatening in its size, looming on the city as an omen.

« Silver Light,» Terra called, coming right behind him, hands behind his back, « you summoned me?»

Moon made a minute movement of his head. « Are you acquainted with any fae?»

Terra chuckled. « Define acquainted, Celestial. I’m acquainted with many, but I believe some of them would _die_ to see me,» and with a snap of his jaw, he added, « not figuratively speaking, if I may say so.»

« What can you tell me about Windriser?»

« I wish you’d asked this question to my companion, Celestial. She would have been _thrilled_ to tell you more,» he replied with a smile, joining him in his walk and always standing a step behind him. « You saw him during the dinner. He’s a reserved fae, way less chaotic than his cousin, but still likes playing tricks. And, from what I’m told, he cannot lie.»

Moon stopped in his tracks. « What do you mean by that?»

« I know why you’re asking me this, Silver Light. Or at least I might guess,» Terra said, turning toward him. « And whatever thing he told you, he was telling the truth. Windriser’s kind cannot tell lie.»

« Did they make an oath?»

« I don’t think it’s that, no. If they’re untruthful, their lies have a physical response to them: I heard their tongue starts to turn black if they do, hurts to talk.»

Moon nodded, didn’t even know if Terra was aware of that movement.

« I know fae are sometimes known to be tricksters,» Terra added, « but if there’s someone you can trust in this, strangely enough, is Windriser. He won’t lie to you, not because he physically cannot. But because I also think he has no reason to do so.»

« Many fae do terrible things out of boredom or because they want a challenge,» Moon replied right away, his mind replaying over and over again the baring of teeth of supplicants who came to him looking for exile, finding open arms to bit into and a heart to wreck. Windriser could still dance around the truth, toeing the line between lie and half truth, could still smile until his mouth ripped to show knives.

« Windriser is reckless, but not stupid. He would never go searching for a challenge that is far bigger than him. And as for the former point… I think his father keeps the boredom well at bay,» and showed a smile that Moon couldn’t not reciprocate – even though it was impossible to see from the outside. « If I may, Silver Light, what did exactly Windriser asked of you?»

Moon eyed Terra for one moment: he was the one tending to the wounded city, he was the one who decided of his own to work on the wrecked plantation, to see if there was something worth of saving. He was the one who proposed to go asking for help even into the wilderness of his own kingdom. Terra had proved time and time again he was trustworthy and his daughter have grown closer to him, seeing him as part of the court and considering him an excellent advisor. But then again, Terra was still fae. He had instinct his blood couldn’t deny. He trusted him and yet there was always that distant voice inside of Moon.

_Beware. _

He let out a sigh, the veil in front of him slightly rising before falling back down. « He asked the same thing his father asked: for me to visit.»

Terra made a sound in the back of his throat. « And you don’t trust going, is that correct?»

« How could I trust him so easily?»

« Did he make something that made you doubt him?»

« Not for now.»

« Celestial, if I may,» Terra said after clearing his throat, « I don’t think First Eye is asking you to come light heartedly.»

« Explain.»

« You both don’t know the effect that you will have in walking on each other’s lands. First Eye is taking that chance. After everything he had done for us, he’s still showing you this much trust. Shouldn’t you repay him?»

« I have nothing to repay him for,» Moon’s voice had taken an edge that he didn’t mean to show, but there was something in that “repay” that made his skin crawl. Sun told him there was no debt to settle, so why telling a lie? Just to guilt tripping him? Was it all just a trick? The thought made him only hyper aware of his decisions, confident in what others might have called paranoia.

And then again, he remembered how Sun was. Genuine in his requests, so thoughtful to send his own son to other unknown lands. Xion’s words resounded loudly in his mind.

_Windriser is fae, that is true, but he still could’ve died. He came and helped us anyway and he didn’t even know us._

« You’re right, Silver Light. I shouldn’t have used that word,» Terra bowed his head briefly, « but the question still stands: won’t you reciprocate this act of trust?»

« You’re telling me I should go.»

« I would never, Celestial. I’m just saying that maybe you should take in consideration the offer. Whatever choice you’ll make, it will be the right one and we will follow you either way.»

Moon nodded behind the veil. The silence started to stretch between them and Terra took it as his way to leave. He bowed and started to walk away.

« Do you think of me as a bad father, Terra?»

Terra turned.

« Do you think of me as cruel?»

The man tilted slightly his head to the side. His mouth was slightly curled to the side, pensive. « I’m no father, Celestial. Neither I want children. I’ve seen fae doing the worst kind of things to their own kids, things I would never wish even on my worst enemy,» Terra showed him a smile, « so no, Silver Light. I don’t think of you as cruel because you chose to hold Moonlight close. Restrictive, yes, but never cruel. And I think your daughter knows this as well and will understand the reasons behind your choice.» He laughed briefly before adding, « but what do I know?»

And with that, he tilted his head forward in salute and went.

Moon retired, the rustling of his clothes on the pavement the only noise that followed him in those silent halls.

When Xion returned from her hunt the next night, sword still dripping red and hair all over the place, Moon asked her. They were alone and Moon was sitting on his throne.

« You want to see the ocean for yourself. That you told me.»

Xion nodded once, hesitant, like somehow she knew the weight of that answer.

« So I will ask you, Do you want me to accept Sun’s offer?»

His daughter stared at him for a long time before responding. « I don’t want you to accept because of my own childish wish.»

Moon bit his lip one second before asking again. « Do you want me to accept Sun’s offer?»

« Father.»

« This is third and last time, Xion. Do you want me to accept Sun’s offer?»

The silence stretched between them. Some part of Moon hoped she would say no for his own sake. But how many things he will have to deny to her own daughter because of his own selfishness? How much could she bare before growing tired of him and this whole sad world, leaving him utterly and completely alone? So until she didn’t speak, Moon lived in that beautiful limbo when her daughter was only his and nobody could hurt the both of them and Sun was just a distant voice in another world.

But Xion spoke.

« I do.»

It prickled no more than the thorn of a rose.

Moon nodded. « Then so shall be done.»

*

Sun realised his hands were trembling while taking the necklace from the chest Kora was offering him. Roxas was wearing his best clothes and the crowd behind him was restless, like the busy buzz of a beehive.

Moon had told him yes a couple of days before. A brief conversation concluded with a single sentence that seemed more like a warning.

_“I hope you know what you’re doing, First Eye. Your people will answer for your decisions.”_

After that, Sun’s provinces fell into a frenzy, an enthusiastic wave that started from the capital and corrupted the whole kingdom much like an infection. The only Ray he didn’t hear from was, unsurprisingly, Sili, who had voted her whole province to absolute silence. Asidera advised him to leave her be for the moment – hearing that nothing would come out of it and then rectifying the whole thing had just left her short for words and complaints alike.

« I still cannot believe he changed his mind,» Sun said, bringing the pendant close to his mouth and breathing on it. The round stone seemed to glow bright for a moment and then, as quickly, Sun closed the two flaps of glass around it. It felt lukewarm at most in his hands.

« Yes, can’t believe he accepted that fast, uh?» Roxas said, bending a bit his head forward so that Sun could tie the string around his neck.

Lea side eyed him for a second when he raised his head once again. « You didn’t do anything, right?»

Windriser tilted his head to the side, not saying a single word.

« _Roxas_.»

« Casualty doesn’t favour your kind,» he answered, « but it can favour mine sometimes. With a little push.»

Asidera, at Sun’s side, opened their mouth to say something, face turned into a mask of anger and disappointment all alike – they truly looked like they were about to behead him with the sole force of their hands. Sun raised his hand to stop them from saying anything.

« Are you telling the truth?»

Roxas smiled. And then he made a raspberry at him.

Perfectly pink. Not a black spot.

Asidera finally spoke up. « Windriser, I swear on all of the winds, I will—»

« That’s a pity, whatever you want to do, it will have to wait, I have a king to welcome apparently,» and he fixed his shirt in front of him before swinging his leg around and quickly running down the stairs. At least one of each Master they had in court was going to follow him – among them, even Elrena, Even and Ienzo.

« That boy, I cannot believe he did something _so stupid_, he could’ve—»

« But nothing happened. It’s fine, Asidera.»

_And I’ve got what I wanted. _

*

Moon was standing in front of the Veil for the first time.

His daughter was standing at his side and was wearing her shiny white armour; Terra had just changed into lighter clothes, knowing very well the temperature he might have expected. Behind him, his small court was following him – just two Master were left behind to make sure everyone would be alright. Those were going to be long nights, with only the stars as their companion.

« I’m here, Father,» Xion said, taking his hand and grasping it tightly. « I will be every step of the way.»

He didn’t have any doubt about that and yet he still felt like her hand was very far away from him, even when her palm fitted perfectly in his own, as it had always done.

Moon nodded.

« Are you ready, Silver Light?» Terra asked, but his voice was far away.

Moon didn’t reply.

He just took a step forward and continued walking, knowing that, if he stopped, he was lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title by st. vincent // "paris is burning"
> 
> i wanted to thank anyone who recently added this fic in their bookmarks or even subscribed. also thank you to anyone to left kudos and every single person who has left a kind comment - feedback is love and i appreciate every single one of you. see you next week - hopefully!


	13. my eyes are getting wider at every word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, the schedule is all over the place, i hope to finally settle once me and my gf have finally finish up moving boxes in our new home. anyway, i hope y'all good and having a good time, sorry for the weak chapter, but at least we're moving, let's all raise a glass

Someone who had known the ocean their own life would have compared that moment to coming up to breathe in after a minute under water. But Moon had yet to discover the boundless sea and to his mind, stepping into Sun’s lands, felt pretty much like receiving a punch to the gut. Everything felt different in his world, even the gravity felt more imposing on his shoulders – but maybe that was because of his own silent nervousness. Inside the coach, Moon moved the giant hood around his head slightly back, leaning forward so he could part the curtains to gaze up at the sky without actually risking anything.

It was azure. It was a colour so delicate and clear it almost felt wrong staring up at it. There were no stars to stare up and there was no silver glow anywhere – or any other radiant colour of the constellation. The breeze, that has always been a glass shard against the skin, now felt but a loving touch. He opened the door, stepping down onto this newfound ground. The grass under him, a green he had never seen his whole life, was caressing gently his long robes.

Moon finally breathed out.

At his side, Xion was taking in everything all at once, gaping at the sight and not knowing what she should look at first. Terra, from his part, seemed unfazed by the whole thing, watching around like the sight was nothing new to him, things already seen and discovered.

« Silver Light.»

Moon turned toward the source of the sound. Sun’s son was standing in front of what Moon regarded as a small crowd: next to him was standing a boy not much older than he was – behind the lock of blue hair that covered one of his eye, the boy was gaping at Moon like he was a treasure chest ready to be open. At his side was standing a tall man with long blond-ish hair – it was a kind of colour that could be similar to the ones he was used to see back in his lands, almost platinum. The man was holding between his fingers a long mouthpiece, but it seemed like he completely forgot about it, the cigarillo almost burnt out and ashen. He seemed way more refined than the whole bunch, with the vest with long, open sleeves and the thin shawl around the forearms.

There was a woman just behind Windriser, looking more like a bodyguard than an actual travel companion. She was regarding Moon with a calculating gaze, eyes going from Xion to Moon, to Terra, to the rest of the small court. She also was the only one wearing black, scarf wrapped around the face and falling onto her shoulders. Moon couldn’t help but thinking she kind of looked like an assassin, with her long, thin trousers and the fitted shirt that left the arms completely naked aside from her hands, covered in fingerless gloves.

Windriser looked at his best. The last time Moon saw him he was wearing something that kind of looked like informal attire. But now, Windriser was wearing long, soft pants, an open, a white shirt tucked under a big belt with a golden pin in the centre – there was a thin, beige tunic under it, probably to cover himself without feeling too closed off and hot. He was wearing his father’s cape, the same he was wearing the last time – it kind of clashed with his attire, but maybe that was the thing that made him more refined. More the son of a king.

He was also the only one of the whole bunch not wearing shoes.

The boy bowed his head briefly. « My father is waiting for you in Solaria. I will be your guide in this time.»

Moon nodded his head, but didn’t know if Windriser actually caught the movement. He didn’t seem to mind.

« This is Even, Celestial. He’s the High Librarian at our court and this is his son Ienzo: he will take his place one day.»

« We all hope that day is far in the future,» Even commented, taking another drag from the mouthpiece.

« Not that far, if you keep smoking like that,» bit back his son, trying to taking away his father’s mouthpiece and failing terribly at it, grabbing thin air.

Windriser cleared his throat loudly, requesting their attention once more. Moon distinctively heard Xion stifling a laugh, tilting her head down as to inspect further the grass under her feet.

The presentation was brief: the woman with blonde hair was Elrena, the Master of Steel (“once she was known as the Master of War”, at which she had replied with a smirk, “but I might reclaim that title”. Moon didn’t know if Windriser stepped on her foot on purpose or not when he moved to the next person). Then a couple of Masters, whose names Moon forgot the moment they made it out of Windriser’s lips. When he was finished, he stopped in front of the small bunch and smiled up at him.

« And I think you know me rather well,» and Moon couldn’t help but reciprocate the smile, even though he couldn’t see it.

« What’s that over there?» Xion asked first, pointing at some distant thing on the horizon. There were shots of colours over there, but Moon couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

« That’s Meridiana. It’s the second of our twelve provinces.»

Xion turned abruptly toward him, eyes wide. « _Twelve_?!»

Windriser nodded. « Solaria is the capital. To reach it, we have to cross Meridiana, Semna and Sabai, the largest one.»

« Your father told me it will be a long journey to his capital,» Moon said, reminiscing the conversation they had before he had to get ready for the travel through Sun’s kingdom. He had to know everything: how long it was going to take, if there was someone waiting for him at the border, what he should expect. A psychological preparation that was still on the making – whenever Moon looked, he could only see an unknown land. Maybe dangerous. One of his arms went instantly around his daughter’s shoulders and Xion leant slightly toward him, like she knew.

« It’s gonna take us five days, Celestial. It would be a good occasion to show you around.»

_Five_ _days_, as he called it.

« Can we go see it?» Xion asked abruptly, stepping away from her father. Moon wanted to grab her once again to keep her close, but there was something behind her eyes that made him stay still, frozen under that drive that he couldn’t sweep away.

« We have a long journey up ahead. I can ask the Ray if she will welcome you upon our return here,» Windriser said, shooting a quick glance at Moon before returning with his eyes at her. « We should start moving. My father can be rather impatient.»

Moon nodded and turned to step right back into the carriage.

« May I walk with Windriser, Father?»

Xion’s voice was all rushed, like she had to cast all her insecurities aside all at once to be able to speak. Steady in her request as ever and yet still a child soldier to his eyes.

He smiled under the Veil. « Just stay close.»

« I will,» and rushed back to Windriser, walking right beside him. The other boy with dark hair had started to shoot questions as soon as she fell into their pace, opening the book in front of him so he could register every word that fell from her mouth. The tall woman was regarding Xion’s blade with shallow curiosity, averting her eyes every time Xion looked up at her, like she was expecting a question that never came.

The coach started to move.

« She will be alright, Silver Light,» Terra said, sitting next to the other window, so he could see outside – with that light, his eyes seemed even more blue. His light clothes fell in waves around him and with that thin shirt, Moon was able to see the firm lines of his muscles, something he had never been able to actually see before. « Windriser is trustworthy. Can be arrogant, from what I’m told, but a good son nonetheless.»

Moon scoffed. « Arrogant?»

« My companion deals with him most of the time. Every time she complain about Windriser’s arrogance, I see that she actually wouldn’t have it any other way.»

Moon sighed at the word companion. He had seen the ways Terra talked about her and the way he would look at her when she was distracted with something else. They would always put their foreheads against one another and just breath in before leaning back – it was such a simple gesture and yet Moon missed that kind of complicity. He would have never been able to salute somebody like that: the whole tiara that he constantly needed to wear prevented that kind of closeness from anybody else beside his own daughter.

He often found himself wonder what it meant having someone that close around; someone who would touch him like that on the forehead, without the constant fear of harming somehow; and looking into each other’s eyes without meeting fabric in their field of vision. Under his clothes, Moon held his own hands, imagining it was somebody else rubbing circles into his skin. But the thing felt too off, like he was trying to comfort himself and failing. The surge of pity was enough to make him cringe under the veil, searching for another mental thread to distract himself.

« How long have you and your companion been together, Terra?»

Terra huffed a laugh, sitting back on the cushions. « Can’t even remember now. I’ve chosen her just before coming to your court.» He showed him his cheek: there was a single, faded scar on the cheekbone, very close to his ear. Moon had noticed it here and there during meetings, but never questioned it, thinking it nothing more than the result of a quarrel between fae or just a scratch. « Humans offer jewels and celebratory weapons when they choose each other. But we mark our skins, so that every fae can know I’m hers.»

« Isn’t it painful?»

Terra shook his head. « Nothing more than a faint ache.»

Moon diverted his eyes toward the small space between the curtain and the coach, these quick glimpses of green and deep blue that could keep any other thoughts at bay. He couldn’t see his daughter, but the sound of laughter told him everything he needed to know.

He smiled despite himself.

*

« So, you thought it would be like this?»

Xion was still amazed by the sheer clarity of everything: the blue sky, the green of the field. She was expecting to feel the same faint coldness under her boots, but instead she was feeling nothing – just the softness of the earth. The wind was not sharp and there was no growling sound around her – no sounds except for the million questions from Ienzo and the chirping of the chocobos pulling the coach where his father was hiding.

Windriser was looking at her sideways, hands behind his back and taking longs strides across the grass.

« I don’t know,» she answered.

Windriser laughed. « Now you know how I was feeling when I was in the Star Field.»

« So that was Meridiana,» Xion said, looking back past those distant shots of colour.

The boy next to her, the one with blue hair, quickly nodded. « It’s a city known for its wars’ walls.»

« I thought you said your people were pacific,» Xion commented, eyes going to Windriser.

« We are,» Windriser nodded. « Meridiana was once a military city. They had built walls all around both for protection and to isolate themselves from everyone else. Many of our provinces have a warlike history. Muwa is known for its beautiful celebratory blades, but once it was one of the most massive producers of military weapons. Rafa is the city of the flowers, they’re massively used for our celebrations; and yet those same flowers were once used as a biological weapon, because if you mixed some of them together you get something poisonous. Instead of tearing down their past, they decided to change their forms as a reminder of what they were. Meridiana did the same thing: it was renown for its coldness, but now its walls are painted all the way around; in contrast to their isolation, their Rays breached the walls nine times, creating nine entryways to whoever needs aids.»

Xion stared at Windriser with stars in her eyes. She was imagining a place that was closed to the world, beautiful but isolated. She imagined the first stone, the first breach that let the people see what actually was outside, the first ray of sun kissing their cheek.

And she couldn’t help but thinking back at her own home. The home she had chosen many, many lifetimes before and that she would choose times and times again, no matter if the sight never changed, if the stars above her head were everything she had known for thousand of years and could name them all. She wouldn’t change a thing of what her father had given her; yet, some part of her, hoped for a change like that – to turn everything around and keeping the same shape as a reminder.

« So my job became useless when there were no more wars to fight,» said the woman with blonde hair. Xion found her character interesting, because from the way she walked she looked and acted like a tired soldier after a long day. She had a steady pace, but still seemed shallow enough, almost dragging her feet sometimes. And she was regarding Xion with something halfway between smugness and sheer curiosity.

« You were once the Master of War, Windriser told me,» Xion said, directing her attention toward the woman.

« Rox is right. I’m known as the Master of Steel. We usually work close with the High Architect now, but we also make the celebratory weapons. For example, when Rox here is gonna choose a fae for his own,» and at that, Windriser made a gagging sound, biting the tongue between his teeth, « I will be the one making him a blade.»

« You know well we don’t exchange blades,» Windriser commented as soon as she finished, « and I’m not interested in choosing anyone. As I repeatedly told you for many years now.»

« Haven’t you found anyone yet?» Xion asked, tilting slightly her head in confusion.

« No, and I don’t care either.»

« Windriser is a solitary fae,» Even commented from behind them, « his brother is proof enough.»

« I didn’t know you had a brother.»

Windriser showed her a smile. There was something behind that pained pulling of lips that felt like a bee’s sting. He looked at her for a moment before returning with his eyes to the horizon.

« I don’t know if you will see my brother one day. But, either way, I hope that day is very far in the future, Moonlight.»

« Is he like your cousin?»

He laughed. Xion noticed that everyone around him was actually serious, their lips a thin line that didn’t betray any emotion. « I don’t know how to answer that question actually.»

And from there, Windriser fell silent. Ienzo took soon enough his place, talking Xion’s ears off, asking her a bunch of questions that wasn’t even halfway through answering before he latched onto some other matters. And yet, while her ears kept receptive of any other questions, Xion’s mind started to wander back and forth. It was a strange thing to say: Windriser had always talked rather plainly about his cousin and while she perfectly knew there was bad blood between them, she still understood Windriser’s view of things – family, yes, but not the one he truly wanted. From the way he locked the conversation off entirely, it seemed like Windriser actually had a better relationship with his chaotic cousin that his own brother.

Xion couldn’t understand sibling relationship: she sort of knew that the love between siblings was something completely different from the one you feel for your own parents, and yet the bond could be even stronger, deeper than anything else. She had heard tales of sisters giving up their whole life to save the one of their little brothers, twins who were so close to each other one could actually feel the pain and they joy of the other. But that was all: stories. Xion understood the nature of things by hearing stories and fairytales, always arguing with herself if that was the true or it was all the result of a fervid imagination.

But this was the first time she had seen someone talking like that of their own sibling.

« High Librarian, have you seen Windriser’s brother?» asked Xion, walking beside Even when Ienzo finally let go of her and started to engage in a kind of one-sided conversation with Elrena.

Even made a sound in the back of his throat. « Just once, Moonlight, and by pure accident. He’s a very reclusive fae and doesn’t like to be seen.»

Xion’s eyes went to Windriser, who was walking up ahead, like his feet were restless to keep up a brisk pace. « When I asked about if he was similar to his cousin, he said he didn’t know how to answer to that. Do you know what he meant?»

« I cannot answer that question either, Moonlight. As I said, not many are so lucky to see his brother. Or unlucky that is.»

Xion looked up at him. « Unlucky?»

« Windriser’s brother is a… peculiar fae, even for Windriser’s clan, which says a lot, since his kind is already a strange one per se. So many exceptions and so few rules.»

« Why do you say this?»

« You know there are many kinds of fae, and every kind is divided by clan. For example, your father’s fae, Terra, is from a specific clan, I suppose. But his kind is a dealing one – that means that every clan of that kind prosper and thrive from striking deals with somebody else. So is our Raincatcher – different clan but same kind. Windriser comes from an unknown clan, but we know his kind - the tricksters, we call them. They bow to no one but the cosmic life that lives within them. The wind Roxas controls is a gift from someone higher than him for a purpose that is unknown to us: it’s his father and mother and ruler. He comforts him on the worst day and scolds him when he’s reckless. He feeds on lies humans say, the same lies he’s forbidden to tell. His cousin Tempest feeds on chaos and tragedy, knows no master but himself.»

« Is that strange to you?»

« Every fae is strange to me. I’m human. Everything I know about them is the result of years of studying. But even after more than thirty years of research, Windriser himself is still a mystery to me. And I think Windriser thinks the same of his own brother.»

« You talk like Windriser doesn’t actually know his own sibling.»

Even chuckled, like that sentence was the punch line of a joke. « You can see it like that if you want, Moonlight. I don’t think it would stray that far from the truth.»

The conversation died more or less there. Even wasn’t so keen of talking more on the matter and when the whole thing grew stale, he walked briskly toward his son like he had some information to share. Xion remained there mulling over everything the High Librarian just told her. Even put it out like Windriser didn’t actually want to talk about his brother – it didn’t seem like they hated each other, but there was something off in the discussion.

_Not many are so lucky to see his brother. Or unlucky that is._

Xion’s eyes went to Windriser, still walking ahead of the group – squared shoulders, restless feet and ears tuned to secrets the winds were willing to give out so freely to their favourite son.

*

« How do you think he looks like?»

Asidera was a patient person. There was a reason if they were the Master of Star: renown in the entire region for their infinite wisdom, the tattoos on their bodies that told their stories for them, their ebony eyes. Little did they know, being a Master of Star required a certain kind of patience and tolerance, qualities that weren’t unknown to Asidera nor their own past selves. But they knew it would come a day where this limit would be crushed under Sun’s persistence. Sun proved to be merciless in his curiosity, in his need to know everything about everyone, about every gossip his ears could take in.

It was already a challenge per se, but now that Asidera was taking care of Sun’s hair the whole thing had turned into one of those fairy tales quests that would make the reader actually question if the dragon was going to win this one. Listening to his ranting was one thing, but listening _while_ taming that mane was another matter entirely. Asidera had started to feel their right hand going numb for a while and was basically moving by pure inertia.

« I think you asked me this exact question the day before yesterday, First Eye,» Asidera said through their teeth, taking a lock of hair and raising it so they could go untangle everything from the roots.

« Yes, but you haven’t answer— _ow_!»

« If you could stay still, First Eye.»

« I am still, you’re just unable to do it properly, Kora is amazing at it.»

« Kora is also just caressing your hair while I’m here to untangle this nest you have for mane.»

« Anyway, you didn’t answer me,» Sun hissed once again, pinching his nose.

« I don’t care about appearances, First Eye. And so should you, as your immediate worry should be about keeping a close eye to the lands he’s walking among right now, not his look.»

Sun huffed, one lock of red hair rising in the air before falling back in front of his nose. « Alright, but aren’t you just a little curious? Like, not even a tiny bit?»

« No.»

Sun huffed so loud his shoulders deflated, bending forward his back. Asidera patted him on the spine, forcing him to regain his posture so they could continue their job without making it harder than it already was.

« Do you think I could show him the sunflower field?»

Asidera’s patience was inching closer and closer to the limit. They kept working, plastering a smile onto their lips. « First Eye, maybe you might have forgotten,» they knew he didn’t, « but you invited here Moon to discuss about what’s the best course of action to bring aid to his people.»

« Yes, yes, I remember, but you think—»

_I would very much like not to think right now, _but Asidera decided not to say that out loud. « First Eye, you should think more about the meeting and preparing a speech for your people for when Moon will be here.»

« A speech?»

« You want Moon to be closer to us. Speak to your people, let them know he’s deserving of trust and that he will no longer be an ally to this kingdom, but he will be welcomed as a friend.»

Sun didn’t say anything to that, just stood still under their ministration. Asidera knew Sun wasn’t actually thinking about what they had just told them, but was maybe mulling over some unknown matters – like if it would be wise to bring Moon over their sunflowers field, Asidera didn’t need to look at his face to know his mind was already working on its own.

« They should be in Semna by now,» Sun said, turning his head toward the window, making Asidera restart their braiding over again. They bit their tongue before saying anything else.

« They should, yes. They’ve probably stopped to rest by now. Are you worried, First Eye?»

Sun shrugged. « I sent a trustworthy court. I know they will be fine.»

Asidera tilted their head to the side. « And your people?»

Sun jerked his head back. Asidera was ready to tell him something, especially because they were very close to close the braid and finally get it over with, but apparently Sun was not having it that day – hadn’t been able to have it since his son left the court apparently. But then they looked at him, actually stared at his eyes. Sun’s eyes were another kind of thing poets could spill stanzas for: green to a first look, but if Asidera paid attention and closed the distance between them, they were sure to find speckles of gold. Like the tiny stars Sun so wanted to gaze at one day and that Asidera faintly remember from a distant and faded dream.

« I trust your words. You told me everything is going to be fine, so I believe you.»

There was this kind of open honesty with Sun that Asidera still found hard to get accustomed to. As if his heart was right in the open, no ribs to protect it and his mouth was unbridled, following no rules aside this show of truth. Sun talked as if words didn’t have any weight, smiling up at Asidera.

Asidera, despite having this lock of hair between their hands to braid once again, smiled. « I think your people will be alright, Sun.»

Sun nodded, the specks of gold scattered around his cheeks glinting up at them. « Then I have nothing to worry about, Master of Star.»

Asidera raised up one eyebrow. « Till one minute ago you were worried about me ripping out your hair from the roots.»

« Yes, because you don’t know how to do your job properly, I feel like your goal is to make me bald again!»

All the surge of affection Asidera had felt till that moment flew out of the window. And so did the brush apparently.

  
*

The first two days had been the hardest. No stars to gaze at and no glow to keep her company. When they stopped at the first city, one of the conglomerates around Semna’s county seat, everyone welcomed them like noblemen. They took Xion by the hand, walked her through the street while gazing at her clothes, the fabrics of it, the stardust in her hair. Her father kept away from the entire crowd, closed off in his coach, refusing to go outside until nobody was around. The city was nothing like she imagined it: it was a small town with wooden houses that were meant to keep the warmth at bay, surrounded by fields of green and yellow. To anyone else, that was simply a town of farmers – and yet, Xion couldn’t stop looking around, at the tanned faces of people who offered her flowers and colourful drinks and food and promised her to show her everything, from the place where they would rest for the day through the fields and the streets.

« You’re so small,» one woman told her, smiling at her. And then before Xion could say anything, she reached out for her and caressed her. It was nothing more than a cup of the cheek and yet Xion felt it like the simple touch of her fingertips just burnt the skin. To someone as Xion, who had always felt one type of touch her whole existence, that simple gesture felt like the prickle of a rose: too distracted by that sheer beauty to realise how much it stung.

That caress plagued her all day, through the dinner when the people offered the whole court food and shared wine until the kids returned home and the parents remained to sing old songs. There was an instrument that produced a long, whistling sound – strange to her eyes and twice as peculiar to the ears when they started to play it. Xion went to see his father during one old song that had Windriser and his Masters singing loud – more shrills cries than actual singing, but it made her laugh all the same.

« Are you having fun?»

Moon was sitting on the cushions, his long vest dropping in blue waves around him. The light coming from behind the heavy curtains was cutting a straight line on his chest. Xion didn’t need to see the face of his father to know he was smiling.

Xion went to sit next to her. Even with all the warmth outside, Moon’s clothes still managed to feel cold against her skin. She leant into his arm. « They’re singing. Can you hear it?»

Moon huffed a laugh. « I hear shrills, if that counts as singing.»

Xion laughed. « Why don’t you come with me outside? It’s safe.»

Moon shook his head. « I’d rather not. But you go. I will come later, when there’s no one around.»

Xion wouldn’t call that paranoia, but there was a part of her that just wanted to drag her father outside, just to see at least these seas of green and yellow around the town, the breeze that seemed to create waves. But instead of doing anything of the sorts, she stayed there for a couple of minutes more before leaving once again, the light almost blinding after.

The shrills had died down to a quiet humming, just one instrument slowly playing to give the rhythm of the song. Rather than being the joyful ringing of before, this one sounded more solemn, more slow and focused than the other one. Xion remained still listening to the strings until a deep voice joined in – she couldn’t actually understand what he was saying, too low to discern the whole lyrics except few, sparse words.

« How’s your father?»

Windriser’s voice took her out of her own head. He was staying close to the chocobo, a hand slowly working its way down the black feathers. Xion noticed that, when she didn’t respond, Windriser started to hum once again, picking up from where he stopped. There was nothing elegant in his voice, it sounded almost jarring like a broken string – and yet, he kept singing softly like there was no one there, like he didn’t actually care what she might think of him, his attention back to the giant bird in front of him.

« He’s well,» she responded after a while, approaching him.

Windriser nodded. « They like music,» he said, almost in a sing-sang voice as if he forgot what it was like to talk normally, « makes them drowsy.»

« Your people know many songs,» Xion commented on, looking back on the small group of people around the man.

« We put every story we know into songs; fairy tales and legends alike.»

« And what’s this story?»

« Of the man who first met the Sun,» Windriser responded. « We sing of the man who went to ask First Eye for something he could use to resist the heat and the dangers at the edge of the world, so he could bring back the most precious thing that had been taken from him. In return, he would get all the honour he deserved from his children and the children of his children; there would not be a day in which he wouldn’t praise him and give him offers for his kindness. First Eye agreed. He cut off his long hair and with them he threaded a long cape, which would protect him from the heat, and cried ambers so they could light the way in his darkest hour. And so the man’s journey began.»

Xion tilted her head to the side. « And where did he go?»

« To the edge of the world.»

« And did he make it?»

Windriser shrugged. « Some stories think he’s still out there, searching. Others, that he may have found what he was looking for.»

Xion looked utterly disappointed by the tale. She was waiting for something way more adventurous, suspense and everything that would make her jump. Instead, that was an actual fairy tale for kids. Windriser didn’t seem to notice, too intent in patting every chocobo before returning close to her.

« We have a celebration through all the provinces for him. Kids pick up stones and other tiny things and paint them gold. Then they throw them all around the main streets.»

« Why?»

« So they could light his way back home. Like the embers First Eye gave him.» Windriser chuckled. « For me, it’s just another way to share food all together.»

Xion tilted her head to the side. « Can you sing me that song again?» And she pointed back at the man who had just finished singing and was gulping down his ale like it was nothing more than water.

Windriser laughed. « You should ask somebody else. I can’t sing.»

« But you know the song.»

« Yes.»

Xion sat down next to the coach. She liked to think that maybe, if she was lucky enough, her father would have been able to listen even from there if Windriser sang just loud enough for the wind to carry the sound. She untied the sword from her waist and held it on her knees, folding her arms over the sheath. « Can I hear it anyway?»

Windriser stood there. He looked like he was pondering about it. His eyes went from her to the coach behind, as if he was expecting her father to come bursting out of the door if he denied her wish one more time. Xion was about to tell him to forget about the whole thing if he was uncomfortable to do it when he just dropped beside her, crossing his leg. He focused onto the bracelet on his right wrist, moving around as to keep himself busy with something while humming.

There was no refined sound in his voice, nothing felt right while listening to it, like the storming of the winds through the treetops. But there was carefulness in his words like he was cherishing them, caressing every vowel and flirting with every verse as much as he could. He wasn’t good at it, but he looked like he was having fun, no matter if he couldn’t look at her eyes for the whole while.

The song made it more adventurous than his quick retelling, talking about the trials the man had to face and the fae he had to fight in order to get the least scrap of information; the whole journey to the edge of the world, the plea to First Eye, and the promise to honour him forever.

When the song was finished, Xion smiled. « Thank you.»

Windriser showed him a brief smile before returning with his eyes on the bracelet.

« We have a couple of celebrations, too,» Xion said, trying to regain his focus. He laid his eyes on her, « I hope you can come see them one night.»

« Day.»

They looked at each other for a moment before exchanging a quick laugh together. When Windriser laughed, his hair seemed almost to puff up, like the wind would actually pick up and run through his locks upon hearing his laughter.

Falling asleep was even harder than everything else, no matter the town they moved into. Xion had to go to the coach to catch a bit of sleep, unused to all of that light filtering from her window, relentlessly. The warmth was another kind of story – she knew she would have never get used to that sudden heat, no matter how many layers of clothes did she shed.

When she went to the coach to join her father, Moon was wide awake. He moved his cape automatically to welcome her close to him and even while standing on unknown lands, it felt like coming home.

She dreamt of rustling leaves and the cries of wind. It was jarring and eerie, and yet it sounded so similar to a song.

*

Leni and Kora were the first ones to let him know. They needed to maintain a sort of professional look on their faces and yet Asidera could see the smiles in their brown eyes.

Sun moved before Asidera did: he got up so suddenly the chair toppled over and not any of the gold he wore, nor the freckles on his face would have been able to match the bright smile he showed to Asidera.

« First Eye,» Kora said, « they’re here.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "lemon to a knife fight" // the wombats


	14. someone took me by surprise, i was cast among the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new country, new home, new job, new EVERYTHING, and i even got the wifi now. # blessed  
sadly the chapter was t h i c c so i have to split it into two chapters, sorry about that   
and thank you for your patience, for your support, for your comments, for pretty much everything xx

For a brief moment it felt like home: gone were all the sounds and the distant clamour, the noise of the wheels rolling over the cobbles the only thing that Xion could hear from inside. His father, next to her, was sitting with his back straight, taunt like the chord of an instrument, and the veil was unmoving, like he was afraid that someone from outside would hear him breathing. He had his hands neatly folded on his lap, the soft fabric barely caressing the skin – he had changed in something slightly lighter, but the paleness of his complexion was still concealed from the world’s eyes.

Terra was peeking out from the dark curtain just enough to see outside and that was the first time Xion had seen him with his mouth gaping open like that, eyes almost sparkling in the light of the sky. He was scanning everything that came into view, face inching dangerously close to the window like the city put a spell on him, flirting and ready to devour him whole with its colours and its brightness.

Xion, from her part, was feeling like the same morning she had eaten a bag of stones, now all resting quietly in the deepest pit of her stomach. Her whole body felt heavy and light at the same time, and she realized that if she put her hands forward, her fingers were slightly shaking. She couldn’t tell why: there was nothing she hadn’t already seen the first time she had travelled alone toward the Capital – the country and the gents. Even the king himself she had already seen. And yet now everything felt like the journey of a small marble, left unsupervised on a leaning surface, rolling down and down again and not knowing when it would stop.

Everything was about to change. Maybe it already did, for things turn even when we think everything is still the same.

« Nervous?»

Xion turned her head toward her father: he wasn’t looking at her, but his eyes were set right in front of him, like he hadn’t realized his mouth formed a question.

She stared back at her hands. « It’s strange,» she said, « I face every night things way bigger than me back home. I’ve tasted death. I have already seen the one who first opened his eyes on this earth. And yet, here I stand – with shaking hands.»

For a moment, there was silence, her thoughts threading one after the other in her crowded mind. The silence from outside just made it worse, heart picking up the pace. It was even more foolish now that the words were out – she was the sword of the night, the very first star made flesh. She couldn’t waver now that her father needed her the most.

A white hand moved over her own. The slender fingers closed around hers, as collecting a secret in the palm of her hand. Xion couldn’t look at him, but she knew he was smiling under that veil.

« You can be the bravest star in the galaxy, Moonlight, and still be afraid of the darkness before you,» he said, his grip tightening just slightly – never hurting, it was never too much with her father, like he perfectly knew how much he could hold before letting go. He leant slightly over her, veil caressing the tip of her nose. « And I’m nervous as well,» he whispered.

Xion chuckled, headbutting him against the shoulder in affection before leaning away. Her hands caressed the curtains one moment more before retreating back – she had already seen what was waiting outside those doors and yet she felt like she was not ready to gaze upon a land that wasn’t her own.

She took a deep breath.

*

Sun exhaled a long, heavy sigh, foot tapping rhythmically under the long ceremonial dress – a huge thing spiralling all down and that concealed every inch on his body aside from the arms, barely visible under the long, open sleeves. His head felt heavy, full of threading thoughts – or maybe it was just because of the headpiece, an elaborate crown that opened up behind his skull on twelve golden rays, hair neatly combed in a long, gold thread, kept on one shoulder. Asidera, on his side, was brushing off something from his sleeve; maybe there was something, maybe they were just reaching out, a desperate, reassuring contact that worked as a stable point.

When the chariot came into view, tumbling slowly down the main street, Sun linked his hands together. There was a kind of silence that reminded him of the time he woke up from his Long Sleep, the reverent silence that came from a unknowing view. The chariot was a massive thing, one that seemed to conceal everything from curious eyes. And it was dark, almost black from a distance – a colour that maybe his people had never seen before. Even the kids didn’t dare to approach it, staying in their place and waving from afar Windriser when they saw him.

Windriser was the first to reach him up the long stairs, basically jumping at the top to meet him. « See? I told you I would have brought him to you,» he said, walking next to him and turning so he could look at what his father was seeing. Asidera shot him a fiery glance for a moment.

« You’re still in big trouble for what you did,» they commented, leaning slightly forward so Windriser could see him.

« What, you’re still chewing on that bone? It’s been five days, Asi.»

« You broke the rules, you entered the room unsupervised, you wore the mask, you _spoke with Moon himself without asking permission first_,» they started to list, something that Roxas stopped listening as soon as they started, rolling his eyes at the sky.

Sun wanted to smile, but only a grimace ended up on his face. His lips felt like someone was forcefully pulling them from a corner. His skin seemed to tight, movements rigid and stiff. How could he walk down the stairs to greet him if he wasn’t even sure he would reach him in one piece without ruining himself onto the stairs?

He left another sigh.

« You’re nervous,» Windriser told him, almost a whisper to his ears.

« I’m meeting an entity. It should be expected.»

Roxas made a face. « You are an entity, too.»

« It’s different.»

« How come?»

Sun opened up his mouth and closed it again after few seconds. He knew why, but putting it down in words would have made it real. Would have conjured all the things he had never been able to let out of his lips before that, a truth neither Asidera knew.

He opened his mouth again.

« It’s the first one I’ve met since this morning.»

Windriser chuckled. « What?»

« This will be the first time I will see an entity before me and I won’t stare back at my own eyes.»

And with that, Roxas fell silent.

The coach stopped right in front of the stairs. There were a couple of people around it, all covered in heavy clothes that kept their head and hair hidden away from sight. They moved toward the door. The first one to exit was a fae with brown hair, the only one Sun could actually see – even his clothes revealed way more skin than the whole court around. He extended his hand and from the coach exited Moon’s daughter. She was dressed pretty much the same, the white armour shining in the daylight.

She turned.

*

It was a blinding light, way brighter than the one Moon had experienced in the past five days. When he exited the coach, he had to keep his hood all down to protect himself until his eyes didn’t adjust to the light. The clamour of the voices was now louder – the whispers, the questions out loud, the sounds of surprise and awe all around them. Xion grabbed his hand automatically and Moon gripped it tightly, his arm going around her shoulders protectively.

The people were all wearing way more comfortable clothes than the ones his own gents used to wear back home – no sleeves, see through fabric, sandals, sometimes large hats to protect against the light. And all eyes were on him, on his heavy clothes, on the intricate designs around his hood, on the complexion of his hands – so different from the colour of their skin. They were scanning his whole court, her daughter, staring down at her sword – suspicious the parents and in awe their kids. He was used in having all eyes on him, but this was fairly different from any kind of glance he had ever received.

And then Moon raised his eyes.

Someone as the ruler of the night’s kingdom had been prided by fate (or misfortune, as someone might say) to know first hand the great beauty. With all the stars at his feet and the vibrant colours of the sky above his head, someone might even say Moon had seen every kind of beauty that there is to see in this world. He had cradled in his arm his daughter when she still was a pale thing, shaking stardust from her skin; he had seen the explosion of a star and the birth of another; he had seen the wild lands of his kingdom, terrifying and yet magnificent.

And then there was Sun and, exactly like it was expected, the more he stared up at him, the more the sight physically hurt him. It was the kind of beauty that move every fibre and nerve in your body, reassembling everything in a random order while you wonder where to start to pick up the pieces of yourself. It was that kind of beauty that hurt.

Sun had the reddest hair Moon had ever seen; it wasn’t the colour of the wine, nor the blood that Xion so many times has spilled on the snow. It was a foreign colour to his eyes and as such, there was sadly nothing he could compare it to. When Sun reached the stairs halfway, Moon could actually pick up more details: the golden thread that kept his hair well kept on his shoulder, the collar that showed just the top of his shoulders, the long white dress. And then the gold – Sun was wearing maybe his whole weight in jewellery, starting from the headpiece on his head, the long earrings, the golden septum at the nose, the massive bracelets. From head to toe, everything seemed to ask for everybody’s attention.

Sun stopped at the last three stairs, staring down at him.

He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again.

The silence felt almost oppressive now.

The Master next to him intervened swiftly. « Apologies, Silver Light, we’re all short for words, this is such an honour,» and then they smiled, but it seemed almost forced; like they were nervous.

The Master was wearing a colourful long robe and on the top of the head rested a veil, well tied and perfect from every angle he might look at it. On the arms, left uncovered, black and complex lines ran through all the length till the tip of the fingers – tattoos. They almost looked like tiny drawings but Moon couldn’t possibly know.

Moon nodded, not knowing what else to say. His eyes went again on Sun – he had been staring at him as well.

He went down the last three stairs carefully and stopped in front of him. He was actually taller than he was and, in appearance, he couldn’t be older than thirty years old. He had tiny freckles on his cheeks that looked like speckles of gold, almost blinding in their light, and the eyes were the green of the fields Moon had travelled through for five days to get to the capital. To be here, staring at another entity like him.

Sun opened up his mouth.

« Hey.»

Moon had never been more glad to wear the veil, otherwise he would have started laughing right there. The Master at his right jerked their head toward him immediately and if a glance could kill Sun would’ve been dead on the ground for the next three generations. From his part, Windriser had slowly turned his head toward his father and was looking at him with something very similar to sympathy. Or maybe pity, considering the small smile that played at the corner of his lips.

Sun shook his head – when he did, the jewels around him clinked softly, the sound of tiny bells.

« No, wait, I—»

« What First Eye meant to say,» the Master swept in once again, crossing the hands in front and smiling wide, « is that you must be tired from the long journey. We’ll show you your rooms and then you can join our table, Silver Light.»

Sun nodded emphatically. « Yes, exactly what they said.»

The Master shot him a glare once more before smiling wide at Moon.

Xion, standing on his side, hadn’t uttered a single word since they exited the coach. She was staring up at Sun like he was one of the many stars she had been instructed to protect, eyes wide and bright – almost as bright as the jewels that adorned Sun’s neck and arms. Moon wondered for a moment, hadn’t the veil been on his face, if that was the same expression he had when looking up at First Eye.

Moon turned again toward Sun and the others. He nodded. « I’d be honoured.»

At his side, the Master seemed to let out a long sigh, relief plain on their expression.

Sun nodded before looking back at the people around. It seemed like most of them had flooded the streets and the plaza just to look at that strange coach and the people that came out of it.

« People of Solaria,» and Moon didn’t expect his voice to be so booming, like it came from a deeper part of him, « at the end of this day, nothing will ever be the same. Today we will talk about mere alliance between two kingdoms no more, but we will speak of friendship and his court will always be welcome in our lands. And his King—» Sun moved his eyes toward him and Moon felt like hanging on a cliff by that piercing, warm gaze, « my closest and most intimate friend.»

Sun talked like everything was saying was a long known story and the ending was already written and well loved among his people. He smiled happily at the crowd, almost making a small jump on his place when he heard the thundering applause. And when looking at his big smile, Moon for a moment actually thought that maybe this time things would have gone well for a change.

*

The inside of Sun’s castle seemed way more refined and beautiful than the last time Xion saw it; elegant, with wide terraces full of green and well decorated. Red and yellow drapes adorned the high ceiling and the windows were left completely open – the white curtains seemed like ghosts from the past, billowing in the wind and caressing the pillars of the halls. Everyone who met them bowed at their passage, looking at the whole court like they were stars fallen down from the clear sky. Xion felt their eyes fixed on her back when she walked away.

The room they gave her was way bigger than the one she was used to sleep in back home. She had an high ceiling that was all decorated with bright colours, depicting a story that she didn’t know of. There was no fireplace and the windows were left all open, letting in a soft breeze that didn’t cut her skin. The smell was rather peculiar: it tingled her nose but not so much to make her sneeze or irritate her. It seemed like salt but she couldn’t be sure of it.

Sun’s gardens were nothing like she imagined them: a vast sea of green that Xion was sure could go on for kilometres, this wave of smell that the wind would bring to her like the love song of a lost lover. There was always something her eyes would stumble upon, like the white statues that adorned every corner, the rose arches, the small maze with tiny white flowers all along the edge; the shot of yellow that she could see in the distance and that almost seemed like tiny, pieces of gold scattered around.

And then there was the sea.

She expected her heart to pick up the pace, but instead it felt more like the start of a spark. It was just a line of blue and yet it was very different from the one she was now used to see for the sky: it almost looked like light green but not quite, azure but not close enough.

« Moonlight.»

Xion turned around swiftly, a hand already on the hilt of her sword.

In front of her was standing one of the closest Master in Sun’s Circle. As much as she first thought when she met them, Asidera still struck her as odd: their skin was a colour that so rarely she had seen back in her own country and yet it still seemed to glow in the light of day; every inch of it was covered in a thin layer of black, spiralling all down their arms and up their neck, swirling just an inch under the hem of their robe. Asidera’s face was another matter entirely: big nose and plump lips, high cheekbones and brown eyes that seemed to stare right into her soul – it was the kind of transcendental beauty that Xion might have found in stars or in the icy rivers in the wild lands or in the howl of the mountains.

« Apologies for the intrusion, but I didn’t hear your reply when I knocked and I got worried,» they said, showing a smile.

Xion shook her head, relaxing her shoulders. She shook her hand away from the hilt of the sword. « I’m sorry, it seems I was deep in thoughts.»

The Master smiled at her, a row of perfect teeth, white as pearls. « Moonlight, I know we already met under unfortunate circumstances. Let me reintroduce myself: my name is Asidera, I’m the Master of Star. I will walk you to the great hall, if you’ll allow me.»

Asidera seemed the perfect opposite of Sun – or rather a diluted version of him: welcoming without being too enthusiastic, warm without being suffocating. Xion liked them instantly.

« I’d be honoured,» she replied and let them lead the way.

Asidera seemed to know perfectly her pace, steps never too hasty or excessively slow. They were walking with their hands behind their back and their whole attitude looked as relaxed as one might have during a stroll.

« Master of Star, you’re fae, right?»

The Master nodded. « I was once of the Liko’s clan.»

Xion ignored that past they decided to use. Better not to press further on the matter. « Are you part of the dealing kind?»

Asidera laughed. « No, I’m not, Moonlight. You’ll learn pretty quickly that inside this court, there is only one dealing fae and it’s a rare occasion to see her around here.»

« Your High Librarian told me about Windriser’s kind. Told me he’s one of the Trickster.»

The Master nodded. « Roxas came here in this court many, many thousand of years ago, well before I came along.»

« I thought you were the first.»

Asidera shook his head, there was a small smile playing at the corner of their lips. « No, I was not, Moonlight.»

Xion stopped talking for a while, focused on descending stairs and getting a glimpse of the outside world: the shot of the plaza, the big pillars that gave away to the sight of the city, that light breeze that kept caressing her hair like kind fingers. Asidera seemed in no rush, quietly accepting the silence that Xion had offered them.

« So,» Xion said tentatively and the Master swiftly turned their gaze toward her, smiling as telling her to keep going, « what is your duty as Master of Star?»

« I’m Sun personal advisor,» they replied. « When he’s unsure on what’s the best course of action, he comes to me and I try at the best of my abilities to aid him in this hard task that is kingship. You could say I am to Sun what you are to your father.»

Xion turned abruptly toward them. « Did he make you?»

Asidera chuckled. « No, Moonlight. He didn’t.»

« Did you come here and make a deal with him? Like Terra did with my father?»

« I indeed came here, Moonlight,» they answered, « but in chains.»

Xion heard the tales of fae sold to the best bidder – fae who came in chains, drugged and barely aware of their surroundings just to be sold for a couple of coins (the reason, Terra refused to tell her but in the back of her mind, Xion could imagine). Terra was the one who told her that and sometimes, in the most restless nights, the thought of young fae deprived of their homes and clans just to be sent away kept her completely awake, impotent under thousands of stars. Fae with families and names— gone for trinkets and silver.

« I’m glad Sun freed you,» Xion said, smiling up at them.

Asidera showed her an enigmatic smile – it was something very different from the ones they had shown until now and for a moment Xion saw a glimpse of the wild fae Asidera used to be. She felt her smile slowly fading away.

« I’m not free, Moonlight,» they told her, halting their steps. « My chains are still in Sun’s hands.»

*

« Have you seen him? Have you _seen_ him?»

Sun, from his part, was walking relentlessly up and down the Great Hall. Everything was already set up and the only one that was missing were the people invited – Asidera was assigned to walk Moonlight, while Moon would have come with Windriser. The rest of the Court was up to Kora and Leni – still completely dumbfounded by everything that was happening, eyes wide and bright. And Sun was actually wondering if that was his own expression, if that was what everyone was looking at when staring up at him in that moment.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact extent of Sun’s emotions since Moon had arrived. He had prepared a whole speech for the occasion, rehearsed it time and time again and yet nothing right came out of his mouth when Moon stepped out of the coach. He was ready because Asidera even approved of it – but the instant Sun climbed down the stairs, every step felt like a word less. A couple of stairs down meant losing a whole sentence and by the time he was closer to Moon his whole speech was lost in the back of his mind, somewhere inaccessible.

He had imagined time and time again Moon’s figure, but nothing would have prepared him for that. Moon was nothing like him – entity all the same and yet he carried himself in a way Sun had never did in all his existence, in the so many lives he had to give for his people and his court. It wasn’t just the clothes or the fancy jewel on the top of his head: it was everything. From the way he stood in front of him, regal and firm, eyes concealed from sight and still demanding attention. Sun had felt the weight of his gaze on him, even without the chance of actually looking him into the eyes.

It was in the way he moved his hand to Xion’s arm when he went to climb the stairs, the soft grip around her before letting go, as to thank her without actually saying anything. The slightly leaning to the side, saying something to his fae that only he could listen to. It was in every gesture, every soft movement, that sense of royalty, of a god walking among mortals. Hadn’t Sun been an entity himself, he would have probably knelt.

He sat down onto the closest pillow, jewels tinkling at the swift movement.

« Are you done?»

Elrena spoke for the first time in what Sun thought hours. She was fanning herself with a small stack of papers that she stole from Even and her cheeks had started to grow pinker by the minute. At their side, Ienzo was actually puffing.

« Sorry, I can’t help it,» Sun said, trying to lower the temperature in the room and failing in doing so. It was that kind of excitement that made him raise the heat in the room, a stuffy warmth that made everyone puff and sweat while he was candidly staying on his own, fluffy pillow without feeling no change at all. He just needed to calm down, rationalize, but how could he do that when Moon was staying no more a world away but we rooms upstairs, under the same roof, looking at the same azure sky?

« First Eye, killing Moon of heatstroke won’t do well to your cause,» Even added, shedding of the long, thin robe around his shoulder and folding it neatly on the back of the chair. « And neither to us, so if you could please calm down.»

Sun ran a hand through his hair – something that Asidera would have chastised him for, considering how much time it took them to make him sit still and indulge the torture. His mind was a maze of thoughts he couldn’t get out of, always going deeper and deeper, losing himself in the oh, so many things he wanted to say and didn’t dare to say, useless words that could fill up the silence just a moment with no actual worth and no one that would listen and _understand_.

He smiled at nobody in particular.

« He’s like me.»

And he knew it wasn’t the truth, because Sun was completely different from Moon. But something in the back of his mind kept telling him that, whatever thing they could talk about, Moon would probably _understand_.

He raised his eyes toward his Master of Steel and the two Librarians.

« The journey. How did it go? Any effect?»

Elrena shrugged. « Nothing significant to report. People are carefully suspicious but can you blame them? A man with a veil on his face, a girl with a big sword at her side and a small parade of people behind them sporting colours they’ve never seen before, it’s expectable.»

« Did anything happen at his passage?»

« I’ve actually seen people covering themselves for once,» Ienzo said.

Sun’s enthusiasm started inch by inch to fade, slowly but steadily, his freckles on his face beginning to dim. Sili’s voice felt like a distant, but firm omen.

« They’re fine, First Eye,» Even assured, as if reading his mind, « like Kairi and Namine told us, for now it’s just a shift in the temperature. Nobody was hurt and the crops are fine. We will keep an eye on the progress in the next days, but for now there’s no reason to be worried.»

Sun breathed out through his nose, getting up from his pillow like he couldn’t bear to stay still one moment longer. He walked toward the window, trying to settle his thoughts, but the more he walked around the room, the more his mind became slippery and thoughts started to go in threads after threads that he couldn’t follow. He stopped in front of another window, the white curtains caressing lightly his arms.

« Did he tell you anything?» Sun asked, trying to quiet down the voices in his head.

« Moon?» Elrena spit that name out as it was distasteful. « He basically stayed the whole time in his coach. His daughter kept sneaking in during the day to sleep with him.»

« Poor girl, she seems so lonely,» Ienzo said.

« That _poor girl _has a sword, which is almost twice her size.»

« That’s not true and she could still feel lonely even with thousand of weapons on her.»

« _Please_,» Elrena said, sitting down on her own pillow and flipping the knife laying on the table, pointing the blade on the table and turning it around lazily. « You’re never lonely with a weapon on your side. That girl is no exception,» then, with a soft voice, « I wish I could have back some of my weapons.»

« You have them, Master Elrena, in the Archives,» Sun said, putting his hands on the table and leaning slightly forward, « away from your swift hands and tucked away from wars that had long left these lands.»

« A pity, if you ask me.»

« But I did not, so the discussion is over.»

Elrena had always been the most troublesome Master in his great Circle, and yet the most skilled one. The Master Teachings took years to complete and a focus of iron; yet she graduated in the art of steel faster than anyone in her academic year and she decided to undergo more years to graduate in military strategy – something that not many would have chosen since its relatively uselessness in moments of peace as it was with Sun’s kingdom. Asidera had chosen her on the spot, no matter how cutting her tongue was or how arrogant she’d be – she had every right to be, considering how skilled she was.

Yet, Elrena had this taste for war that came far from books than a real life experience – she was barely thirty, too young even to remember a single event. But Lea had seen it: he had seen time and time again what the war had brought; the misery and the pain of families who found themselves in the middle of something way bigger than them. All because of rich and egoistical men who wore their weight in gold and pretended that the red tainting their lips was fine wine. But Elrena only knew about numbers and the cross board on which tiny military statues moved, something artificial that didn’t match up with a reality she had never faced.

The door opened up. The swift movement with which Lea moved back almost hurt him.

Namine and Kairi were wearing their ceremonial clothes, flowers painted from the bottom side of their dark green jacket to their shoulders. And if Lea squinted his eyes, they almost seemed to move on the fabric. The pants seemed comfy enough to allow every kind of movement, like they were both in a hurry to get back to their gardens after finish up this meeting.

« It’s you,» Sun sighed.

Kairi raised an eyebrow. « You could sound less disappointed, you know?»

« Don’t start, he’s nervous,» Namine elbowed her on the side.

Her sister shot her a fiery glare before returning with her eyes to Sun. « A couple of roses have started shedding their petals. Nothing to worry about for now.»

« The sunflowers are alright,» Namine looked out to the window, to the space where the sunflowers’ field was, even though she could not see it properly from there. « Still looking at you, I suppose.»

Sun was about to speak once more before the door opened once again. Asidera walked in, Moon’s daughter and Terra both in tow with the rest of Moon’s small court. Asidera had chosen to wear the best clothes they owned and Moonlight, from her part, was still sporting the white armour he had seen her in the very first time she arrived in his lands. Terra, on the other hand, was wearing a shirt whose fabric was so thin Sun could see the firm line of his muscles under it, the two small scars on his chest. He sported his new clothes like he was born into this type of climate and Sun smiled at the thought.

On the other hand, Roxas and Moon were nowhere to be found.

Sun showed a bright smile. « Moonlight.»

The girl bowed her head and when she did, small silver specks fell down from her head.

_Stardust_.

The same that adorned Moon’s locks, still tucked away in the box he had received.

« First Eye,» she said, voice way more booming that he remembered it to be, « it’s a honour.» The movement seemed almost stiff to his eyes but he made no remarks on the matter. Terra and the whole court behind bowed as well. When Xion raised her eyes, she instantly turned her head around the room – Sun knew perfectly who she was looking for.

« Your father will be here soon,» Sun reassured her. « Sit at my table in the meantime.» 

Xion nodded her head before carefully approaching. She sat down with the carefulness of someone who had all the eyes of the court on her, eyes down as to focus on her legs instead of the rest of the room.

« Thank you, First Eye.»

Sun chuckled. « Lea is fine.»

The silence who fell onto the room was so thick Sun would have been able to set fire on it. When he raised his eyes from her, both the courts were looking at him wide, mouths agape. Terra’s eyes were going from the court, to Xion, to Sun and back again, like he was actually questioning his place there. When Sun looked at his Master of Star, Asidera looked like the misfortunes of life had long stopped surprising them and just an apathetic glare had fell upon their features – the sense of death in their brown eyes spoke volume.

« I—» Xion cheeks had taken a pinker shade; Sun couldn’t tell if it was because of his closeness to her or entirely something else. « I can’t, First Eye, I’m sorry. I couldn’t possibly use your chosen name.»

Sun was about to reply when the doors opened. And in front of them, sharing the same air and the same room for the first time, there was Moon.

*

Everyone’s eyes went directly on Windriser and Moon, but more specifically Sun’s court seemed to focus immediately onto the Silver Light, scanning every inch of fabric, starting from the headpiece on his head, the veil falling down in front of him shielding him from the world, the long, blue sleeves of his dress. Asidera felt strangely out of place in their own home.

Who broke the silence was Xion. She looked at him like she hadn’t seen him in days. « Father.»

Moon walked toward her, one hand slipping out of the sleeve to cup her cheek just a brief moment before returning his gaze toward Sun. Asidera tried not to think too much of the differences running between them, the whiplash that scene was giving them – the openness of Sun’s clothes compared to the rigidity of Moon’s clothes, designed to be all closed off from the world just as his gaze; the contrast of Sun’s open smile to the omnipresent silence of the Silver Light. It shouldn’t have hurt them and yet Asidera felt a sling of pain right at the pit of their stomach.

Sun was the first to speak.

« Sit close to me, Moon.»

Moon did as he was told, carefully going down on the pillow. Xion sat at his left and Windriser sat down at the right side of his father. Sun was the last one to take his place.

He poured the red wine in his goblet and offered it to Moon. When he went to touch the goblet, his hand rested carefully onto the bottom part of it, away from Sun’s fingers and his warmth. The paleness of his hand didn’t go unnoticed to anyone in the room, almost clashing against Sun’s complexion. Moon raised his sleeve in front of him and took just a sip, offering the goblet back to his host.

Asidera watched the whole scene intently, but as if they were standing kilometres away, even when they were sitting right next to Windriser. The slow movement of Sun’s hand in turning the cup on the other side, so that his lips wouldn’t touch the point from where Moon had drunk the wine, they eyes closing. Then slowly, he gulped down the rest.

When he went to put down the goblet, Sun drew a long, red line around the edge with the last droplet of wine that still clung there. Then, he turned his gaze toward the King and smiled.

« Welcome home, Silver Light.»

Asidera watched them the whole time. Moon talked little, while Sun spoke rivers. And with every word, Sun’s freckles shone brighter and his smile a bit more honest, a bit easier.

It stung, but Asidera didn’t know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "keep your lips sealed" // the dø


	15. those who leave dream of coming back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a burden, but i hope in reading this you won't feel an inch of what i felt while writing it

_[« You’re making a mistake. This is something bigger than you, bigger than all of us.»_

_« I hope you’re not having second thoughts, Ihej. You’re the one who devised the plan. You should celebrate with all of us. This is the beginning of a new day for our kind.» _

_Their smiles were small shards of glass: the more they showed teeth, the more they could feel the skin grazed, too distant to be a caress and too close to open wounds. _

_« I sense danger upon all of us. Something is coming.»_

_« It’s the Void, Ihej. One day they will come to collect all of us and we’ll sit at their table and feast on our own bones. But this is not our day just yet.» Laughter – the scraping of nails on a mirror. _

_« We’re still in time. We can still fix this. Can’t you all trust me just for this one?» They didn’t want to sound that desperate and yet, their voices shuddered and shook. _

_« We trusted you well enough and see what’s our reward—» The child they pointed at was too out of herself to understand a single word of they were saying, brown hair falling like a curtain in front of her face. Even in her semi-comatose state, her eyes pierced Ihej with the force of a sword. « That’s why we raise a glass to you: the stars shine bright upon your head, may her blood slip easily between your fingers and guide us all toward infinity, Ihej of Liko.»_

_It was a lifetime ago. Ihej had not received the teachings yet and the only chain they had ever known were the ones they used to bound Sun’s daughter.] _

Asidera was considering Xion with careful eyes, watching her from time to time during the meal. Roxas was trying to engage a conversation with her, but she seemed distant and distracted, shooting a glance to Asidera whenever she thought they weren’t looking. Moon and Sun were talking but for once, Asidera didn’t feel the need to intrude in their discussion, considering how enthusiast Sun seemed.

Their conversation in the corridor had left a sour taste in Asidera’s mouth and it wasn’t because of the roasted roots they had tried to eat with no avail: their mind was a minefield, the story they told Xion was nothing but random pieces Asidera faintly remembered, fraying threads that had been granted memory thanks to the designs Asidera was wearing on their own dark skin. The mark on their chest, the one that no matter how many faces and bodies they changed, it would always follow them and would always state their loyalty to Sun.

From time to time, Xion would raise her eyes to them, as if she was trying to find the secret stored deep inside them. Asidera just smiled, knowing full well how many questions were floating around her head in that exact moment – a hunger they were keen to satisfy later.

The meal, surprisingly enough considering how excited Sun looked and acted, went smoothly. Moon, who far a while seemed hesitant in eating anything and nibbled anything that Sun ate first, asked more and more questions about the food and the type of nutrients it needed to grow and many other questions which Sun didn’t even know how to reply to without his own Master of Land intervening in his aid. Moon seemed pleased with the answer, thanking every single time with a bow of his head. Xion looked interested in any kind of conversation, but especially in the Master of Steel, who was sitting right next to her and was nudging her to spill up secrets that Xion didn’t have.

« I couldn’t stop looking at your sword during the journey,» Elrena said, eyeing once more the hilt before returning with her eyes on the girl, « I’ve never seen a material such as that. How long did it take to shape it?»

Xion turned her head. « I guess… one night? The time for my father to work on it.»

Elrena’s smile turned upward, a grin venomous enough to turn sour Asidera’s bite just by looking at it. « A blacksmith king. That is new to me.»

Asidera intervened. « There are things beyond your understanding, Elrena, and when you’ll acknowledge this ignorance you’ll start to grow both as a Master and as a human.»

Elrena did nothing but raising an eyebrow at them – she wasn’t actually challenging them, but there was a hint of arrogance that Asidera had always found quite jarring: she would have made a perfect fae, hadn’t the fate been so kind (or unkind depending from perspective) to her. She returned her attention to someone else, the jolt of her blond hair swaying with the motion of her head. When Xion turned toward them, Asidera winked, not sure why in the first place they did that.

« Asidera,» someone called him, making them turn toward the source of the sound. Even with the veil, Moon felt his piercing eyes directed toward them. They slowly bowed their head in reverence. When Moon didn’t speak further, Sun intervened.

« I was telling him about you,» he said, goblet in hand. His freckles were casting game of lights against the glass surface. « About how nagging you can be.»

Asidera felt the corner of their lips tugging slightly in annoyance. « If it means making everything I can to prevent this kingdom to fall into chaos, then I’m the most nagging Master in your court.»

Sun laughed, a ringing sound that made everyone turn around, like clinking of ambers onto the stairs. Moon at his side turned his face toward him, like completely enthralled by the sound. The only one completely unfazed by the whole matter like it was ordinary administration – and it was – was Roxas, who kept drinking from his goblet in silence. He seemed unsettled, but maybe it was just his constant need to go out as soon as possible to feel the breeze through his hair.

Xion was next to talk.

« So how did Asidera come into your court, First Eye?»

Asidera turned abruptly toward her: she seemed unfazed by the silence that fell into the room, eyes set onto Sun. They did want to explore more of that discussion with her later, maybe while strolling in the garden, but it seemed like she couldn’t wait. Asidera turned their head toward Sun, who had just rested his goblet onto the table once again, a sly smile on his lips.

« If you’re asking, I guess Asidera told you something already.» At that, Xion bowed slightly her head, like she was now embarrassed of the question.

« I told her about our… _deal_,» Asidera added, smiling complicit at him.

« And I guess, since your love for the dramatic, you offered her a tiny piece of what it is the truth.»

« Well,» Asidera said, scrolling their shoulders, « there was a meal waiting for us.»

Sun chuckled, passing his slender finger onto the golden brim of the cup. No sound came of it, but it was almost hypnotic seeing that gesture, making the curve, dropping down and going up once again, slower and slower. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it that very moment – like he was ashamed of whatever happened back then. Roxas was watching the scene like the whole thing actually didn’t affect him in any way, peeling one piece of the orange slowly. He was regarding everyone around him like he was waiting for someone to start the story, but nobody looked like they were ready to take the first step.

« I don’t think this is the kind of story you want to hear here, Moonlight,» Windriser commented after a long silence, « but if you’re still curious, I can tell you later. I promise.»

Namine bumped in, blue eyes directed toward Xion. « We could show you the garden, if you’d like. It’s really nice, you’d love it.»

Xion seemed forgetful of the whole matter the moment they mentioned the garden, She leant toward Namine like she held the truth in her hands and was ready to drink it all up. She directed her gaze toward Moon. « Can I go see the garden? I’ll be quick.»

Moon turned toward her. « Finish your meal first. Let’s be respectful of his court’s hard work.»

« Please, let her go,» Sun said, eyeing Xion with a complicit smile, « I think her mind is already wandering around. And I think my son as well is growing restless of staying here.» And as to prove his point, he ruffled his hair, winning him a fiery look from the boy and a swat to his hand. Asidera hid their smile behind the goblet when they saw Sun wincing for the pain, hiding his hand under the table.

Xion looked at her father once again with an expectant look. Moon didn’t seem responding for a long time and just then, he caressed his daughter’s cheek with his knuckle before relaxing once more, shoulders deflating. For Asidera, who had always considered Moon a closed king with a statue façade, that single caress seemed like the epiphany they were looking for: a single moment of connection that made them understand what kind of father and ruler Moon could be, two different faces that happened to be coinciding.

« Just stay close to Windriser,» and with that, he retreated his hand. Moonlight got up from her seat as fast as she could, almost toppling over for the force of it. Namine and Kairi rose at the same exact moment, twins in everything more than just appearance. They circled the table and each one of them grabbed her by the arm, smiling wide at her.

« You’ll like it very much,» Namine commented, leaning toward her ear as if to whisper a secret.

« We have so many things to show you, » Kairi chuckled, driving her away from the room as fast as their feet could carry them, laughter filling the air.

Asidera turned toward Roxas, who was still slowly fixing the collar of his cape as if he was in absolute no rush. « We leave everything in your care then, Windriser.»

« As if I could ever keep up with those two witches.»

Sun turned abruptly toward Moon. « They’re not real witches, my son likes to jest.»

« I’m not joking, Kairi once tried to rip of my tong— ouch! _Father_!»

Sun tugged him once again by the ear before letting him go, eyes still glinting cheerfully toward Moon. « He’s such a terrible liar, you wouldn’t believe. _Kids_, am I right?»

« I’m older than Asidera!»

Sun turned toward him. « Are you looking forty or fifteen right now?»

« You know I cannot change my form over the twenties, this is a stupid question.»

« So you’re a kid.»

« _I’m not_—»

Asidera put a hand on his arm. « Windriser, I’m sure you’re much wiser than you’re given credit for despite your very young appearance, but I think your attention is needed elsewhere right now.»

Roxas looked like he was ready to punch his father right into the jaw in front of his whole court for a whole moment and Asidera’s mind was already wondering about what it could be said in this worst-case scenario. But before he could strike, Windriser let out a long groan, turning right around and marching toward the door – Asidera heard him grumbling something on the lines of “_I hate this family, I hate all of this_”, but couldn’t be sure. But at least, the crisis was averted and Roxas left the room without making a ruckus of it.

Sun leant his cheek onto his palm, still looking at Moon with excited eyes. « He’s such a troublemaker, once he blew siroccos for two weeks straight just because I called him “shorty”.»

Asidera turned abruptly toward him. « You also jumped him and pushed him out of the window to see how fast it would take for the wind to catch him.»

« That was before.»

« So he had twice the reason, First Eye.»

« Excuse me, are you siding with my son, Master of Star?»

« Roxas has to deal with you already. He needs a helping hand from someone else.»

Sun looked ready to respond at them, pouty lips and furrowed eyebrow. But everything seemed to come to a stop as soon as Moon’s laugh started echoing through the room. It was something deep and short that shook his shoulders and made the veil move lightly in front of his face. Moon went to cover his face with the sleeve of the robe as if everybody inside the chamber could see his lips, his famous thousand mouths laugh at the same time, the glinting hundreds of eyes.

It stopped right away, felt like a passing cool breeze in a heated summer, a brief blessing whose caress your skin still remembers by.

« Apologies, First Eye,» he said, regaining his posture, « I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at your… shenanigans. It’s…» he stopped a moment as if to search for the right word. He spoke up, « fun.»

Asidera leant their head to the side, watching Moon with careful eyes. Fun wasn’t the exact word Asidera would have chosen, but Moon seemed pretty satisfied by that, looking over at Sun as if to wait for him to respond. But Sun still looked at him like Moon was holding the entire vocabulary in his hand and that word was good enough for him, freckles casting lights across Moon’s blue clothes and the veil.

« It is,» he said, but Asidera had the feeling Sun wasn’t even aware of what he was agreeing with. But if he looked so content in something so little, Asidera would have let him have anything and even more.

*

Gardens weren’t entirely a novelty to Xion, who had grown up surrounded by trees of wisteria and star jasmine growing on the inner part of the castle – shades of purple and white the only things she had ever knew until that moment. But the sight in front of her was completely different, a rainbow of colours she had never laid her eyes upon until that moment. That green wasn’t the same shade of her own world and even the white flowers growing onto the side of the statues and up the pillars seemed a completely different shade from the one she was used to see.

Every step seemed to take years, stopping at every corner to inspect closer every inch, every single blossom, taking in smells that went directly to her head – didn’t know if that sense of dizziness was because of the garden or something else that she couldn’t give a name to. Namine and Kairi next to her talked and talked, shooting bunch of names that Xion half listened to, listing properties she didn’t really care about but nodded her head anyway as to make sure she was listening to their rambling.

They were kind girls, pointing at everything she might be interested in, tugging and pushing as if their sole purpose was to show off their gardening abilities. Namine had blue piercing eyes and a smile Xion was sure people would march into war for, dripping honey and gold – two things she didn’t know she was fond of until Namine actually smiled at her. Kairi seemed rougher than her – nothing mean, but still headstrong and had a certain kind of taste of tricks and poison, considering how long her bickering with Roxas had been going on since they left the table.

« This is a daffodil, have you ever seen it? And there’s a dahlia, that’s a crocus, it’s also useful for a spice that turns everything yellow, it is very good. Oh!, that’s a leadwort, Asidera loves this flower, I think they just like blue colours. I believe they would love trying your clothes, you have such dark shades, I think it suit you.»

Namine’s words was a river that Xion was barely following by, eyes going from one point to the other – from the yellow of the ranunculi to the golden of her hair, from the blue of the leadwort to the ocean in her eyes, every shade seemed to match perfectly with her, a garden of her own.

« Let her breathe, Nami,» Windriser laughed, coming up to her side, « you’re making her dizzy.»

Namine turned her huge, blue, _pretty_ eyes toward her. « Am I, Moonlight?»

Pure honey.

Xion dumbly shook her head, taking a step back. Strangely enough, it felt like she was dizzy, head spinning and not only because of the garden itself. « Sorry,» she said, and even when she grinned at Namine her smile didn’t feel an ounce as beautiful as the one Namine had offered her before, « it’s a lot for me.»

Namine smiled. « Take your time. We have all day,» and walked right ahead, siding up with her sister.

« It’s the flowers they wear,» Roxas told her, taking Xion’s arm and latching it onto his arm like that was the most normal thing. « They’re enchanted; they make you dizzy and disoriented when you’re taking them in all at once, and you’re not used to its smell. Just give it a few seconds.»

Xion dumbly nodded – didn’t know why he was nodding in the first place. « Why?» Xion wasn’t sure that was the right thing to ask, but now her words were out and there was no way to take it back.

« A force of habit,» he said, slowing down his steps and letting her take the lead so that she could dictate the pace. It was such a small gesture, but it was thoughtful. « Kairi and Namine had to use many tricks to survive before Sun. They used the talent they were given at birth as weapons. They meant no actual harm to you. Sometimes I think they don’t even notice.»

Xion nodded once again. Her head was slowly getting clearer, the air seemed fresher and if she focused hard enough she could feel a soft tingle to her nose, like something prickling it. She already felt that same smell when she was on the balcony with her eyes fixed on the horizon, on the thin blue line that stretched far and wide.

« You promised to tell me the story,» Xion said in a moment of lucidity, feet going down the small steps on their own without willing them to. Windriser’s fingers around her hand felt like a brand of fire against the skin of her hand.

« It’s not the great story you imagine,» he said, eyes fixed on the horizon. « I mean, it could be: it involves me getting kidnapped.»

Xion stopped halfway through the road, staring at Roxas with wide eyes. He was regarding her with curiosity, like he couldn’t understand why she would stop mid step. « But… you’re fae.»

« Yes, and they were fae as well. Asidera’s clan really thought I could unlock some supreme ability, considering my closeness to Sun and all the power an entity could have. Foolish, but they still tried.»

« I don’t understand,» Xion said, feeling like her head was dizzy once again. « You’re… wind. You’re an elemental fae, you’re a Trickster.»

Windriser laughed – when he did, the wind picked at his clothes, ruffling the cape behind him, the hair, the sleeves of the shirt. « We’re not invincible, Moonlight. We have our own weakness. And Asidera was particularly clever – they still are, of course, but that was wicked clever. They got close to me as fae in need and when the time was right, they drugged me.»

Xion tilted her head to the side. « How’s that possible?»

« I told you we have our weakness. Mine is a particular herb, which sadly is also very common here: it’s called black cohosh and if you go to any medic in town they might have some of it stored somewhere in their own cupboards. It is great for humans,» Roxas winced at the memory, « but sadly I’m not, so the only effects it has on me are side effects: it makes me very dizzy, unable to stand upright, heavy. It knocks me out completely and prevents me to respond properly to the wind.» For a moment, he looked at his own hands, moving his fingers around like the memory could actually do something and prevent him from using his powers. « It makes you feel almost… human. It’s very strange, but it’s an experience I don’t want to test out again. Remembering an old life is difficult for fae. We retain something, but details are faint, like an old dream.»

« And what do you remember?»

Roxas seemed to think long and hard about it, blue eyes going down his fingers, following the veins under it and going up again, on palm and the crook of the fingers. Memories haunted him like old ghosts whose faces Windriser had a hard time forgetting. He opened up his mouth to speak, but nothing came out of it, nor a single word or a sound. When Xion was about to speak up, Windriser shrugged and kept walking forward, head clear.

« Not much, but that is far from the point. Asidera apparently changed their mind through it and went to snitch everything to my father. He wasn’t so happy about it, but at least he had the time to come and drag me away from them before they could do anything.»

« So,» Xion said, « how come Asidera is still here? After everything they’ve done—»

« When Sun decided to keep them here he did it for two reasons: one, and the most important at the time, was to keep an eye on them – and also because Asidera had proved to be a valid strategos. And the second reason was a more… merciful one.»

« What do you mean?»

« Asidera had nothing. I believe their clan is still out there looking for them, but until they stay here under Sun’s protection, they have nothing to fear. Letting them go was nothing short than a death sentence. So they stayed here: they became Commander and when there was no war left to win, they took the place as the highest master inside the court. And I think they could leave any time now: they could hide for their whole life and they would be alright, because they’re actually pretty smart. But…» and shrugged his shoulders once again. « I don’t think they want to.»

« But they could be free.»

« Yes,» Roxas answered, « but they wouldn’t have us.» He looked elsewhere for a moment before adding, « and I’d actually miss them, I like spar with them from time to time.»

Xion looked at the ground like she could fine the answer she was craving there. Since the start of the meal until that moment, she thought Asidera was trapped inside the court, a Master who got their teachings because someone else much more powerful than them forced them to. And for the whole meal, Xion couldn’t understand how Asidera could look at Sun like that: with such devotion and loyalty, as if Asidera would truly be capable to jump into the closest armor to defend their ruler – as if Sun even needed a protection from a minor fae. And yes, Sun seemed the kind of person who liked to irk up Asidera, but there was nothing beyond it besides innocent bickering.

And from the way Windriser talked he didn’t seem to have negative feelings toward them, on the contrary: if he even talked about a sparring session, Roxas should have felt safe enough to train with them without fearing for his own wellbeing. It was also true that, apparently, that even took place centuries and centuries before.

« So,» Xion said after a long moment of silence, « when they said “Sun still keeps my chains in his hands”… they meant it?»

« Yeah, they meant to be _that_ dramatic.»

Xion chuckled at that.

« They’re not wrong though. It is something they never figured out officially, but I think it doesn’t matter aymore to both of them.»

« Why do you think that?»

Roxas shrugged. « They’re family. If there is something I discovered to hold dear in this world, that is blood.»

And even though Xion had trouble rationalizing everything he was saying and was showing to her, blood was the only thing that she truly understood, for that was the only thing she had known for her whole life as well.

*

The meeting started soon after the meal, when everyone was still lucid enough to articulate thoughts and the wine wasn’t flowing as freely as before. Sun’s wine had been replaced by still water and the table was now completely devoid of any food and drinks: just papers and reports and everything that usually would have sent Sun promptly fast asleep just by looking at the thin rows of numbers and words. But circumstances were different and he was now surrounded by something more than his standard Circle – Moon had decided to sit on the other side of the long table, as if he were a witness ready to be tested. On his left side was sitting Terra, while his oldest Master – the Trade – had decided to sit at his right, filling the spot that Moonlight should’ve had, if she were there.

Petals were falling faster than Sun would have liked from the ceiling, as if gravity had suddenly increased his pull toward the ground: two, three petals at a time, one caressing his wrist as a reminder of an extraordinary presence inside the room.

The Masters were all wearing some kind of cardigan on their shoulders – except for Even and his son, who were wearing their own capes – and they didn’t look like they were feeling some kind of shift in the temperature. The only one who actually hid the arms under their own robe as to protect themselves was Asidera – firm and stunning as usual, Sun noticed. When he put a careful hand on their leg, unnoticed, Asidera gripped his fingers for one moment before letting go.

As to say “I’m here, I’m not going”. And Sun didn’t know he needed that until Asidera gave it to him.

« Silver Light,» Sun said, raising his head straight, squandering his shoulders. He breathed out, « we are listening. Speak and we all shall help you at the best of our abilities.»

Moon turned his head toward the man at his left, as if letting him speak for him. Terra nodded, shuffling swiftly through the papers he held in his hands.

« Tempest has raged devastation on us. At least two third of our main crops have been maimed by hail and rain, leaving the people feeding on their own saved goods or the few roots we were able to save. The emergency stock is being used at this time for the most vulnerable through the city and the most needing provinces, but it’s running fast and we don’t know how long it will last and how many people it could help for the time being. I’m helping as much as I can with new seeds, but the fields need their time – I cannot do more than that. I cannot bend earth’s will.»

« From an economic standpoint,» said the Master after him, rolling over the parchments in front of him, « the coin is losing its value, we’re using the treasure to assist the merchants who had been particularly hit by the storm. Many of them had to let many apprentices and colleagues home because unable to provide themselves, let alone pay their own workers. We are employing people on the constructions and restoration sites, but we wouldn’t have the means to pay them.»

« So you don’t have the means for calling merchants overseas for extras, am I correct?» asked Sun’s Master of Trade.

The old man nodded. « As First Eye knows, we have a trading business with the Destiny Islands. But right now we wouldn’t know how to pay them back for the whole shipment. And as merciful and sympathetic Captain Sora could be, he remains a merchant at sea: silver is his native tongue.»

Sun nodded. He wasn’t wrong: Sora was a nice captain, capable and fierce, but he still was a Pirate under the government: free but still serving the coin. And his crew needed to eat as much as anyone else, nothing could be done for free. It was unfair, but understandable in a world where everything was ruled by coin.

« But nonetheless,» the Master added, « the coin goes to the people most and foremost.»

Moon spoke up.

« Always for the good of the people.» And even if he was unable to look directly at him, Sun felt the weight of his gaze on his shoulders anyway.

Sun hid his smile behind the goblet, taking a sip of the water. It felt terribly warm into his mouth, turning into steam almost immediately, giving him not an inch of satisfaction.

« How’s the morale?» Elrena asked after a brief moment of silence, bringing one knee close to her chest and leaning her arm on top of it.

« Discouraged, scared for the future,» Terra replied. « Many needs medicines and our medics and healers are already working as hard as they can. We don’t know how longer we can hold out like this.»

« Taking it out on the king just yet?»

« Never,» and that answer came from both the Master and Terra, shoulders squared and head raised high.

Sun said nothing for a long while. He knew about that desperation. He knew about mothers and fathers holding their children close and not knowing what the future might have in store for them, left bare by circumstances way bigger than them. Sun had seen everything in his long existence, has seen every kind of shade of fear and anger in his people’s eyes, he still remembered how sadness could turn into disappointment, becoming rage and pure need of survival.

First Eye had seen it all.

« The time will come sooner or later,» Elrena said. « When people have nothing to eat, hate for the most privileged is the only thing whole families can feed on.»

« Elrena,» started to say Asidera, ready to tell her something along shutting her mouth in fear of sound disrespectful.

« She’s right.»

Every eye turned toward Sun, except Erena – who was shrugging as to tell the whole room “I told you so”.

« You’re doing a commendable job, Moon, in this time of crisis,» Sun continued, « but my Master of Steel, despite her wicked manners, is right: sooner or later, people will stop seeing you as a king and will start wondering why there’s someone sitting on a golden chair while everyone is starving. We must not reach that point.»

« Can you help us?» The Master asked, hope in his old, tired eyes, as if that should’ve been expected.

« The matter here is not if I can help you, but _how_,» Lea answered, passing with his eyes through the Circle, waiting for the first one to start speaking.

« We could lend them some of our stock,» Moravi said, clearing her voice once Asidera nodded at her to raise a bit higher her voice so that everybody could her hear. « Long-life dried roots and meat, seeds. I’m sure Master Terra can find a way to make the seeds prosper even in such a different place as ours.»

Terra nodded. « Not every seed can thrive, but I will do my best.»

« I’m sure every province can lend a bit of their own stock for Moon.»

« Remember we still have that debt toward Raincatched Aqua,» Ienzo faintly reminded to the whole table and Sun winced at the memory of what he had promised.

« I can talk to Aqua myself,» Terra said, « I’m sure she and I can find some sort of arrangement, considering the circumstances my own contractor is facing right now.»

The Masters all nodded their head toward him both as to acknowledge the matter and as a thank you.

« As for the materials,» the High Architect started saying, « I’m sure the way we design our own homes is radically different from yours. But with a bit of study, we can help you rebuild houses and shops much faster. Do you have any kind of books or document that could help us?»

Terra and the Master turned abruptly toward Moon, as to wait for him to respond. The silence was almost deafening and Sun truly wondered for a moment if Moon hadn’t actually fallen asleep during the meeting. But before he could say anything, Moon nodded his head, gravely.

« We have,» he said. « But you must swear only this Circle will consult those documents. Nobody else.»

The Masters turned once again toward Sun. The movement almost made him laugh but he remained serious despite everything.

« Nothing of whatever will be discussed or shared here will leave this room. You have my word, Moon.»

Moon didn’t exactly relaxed at that, but Sun saw perfectly the veil moving ever so slightly in front of him, as if he had just let go a huge sigh of relief. The meeting went along fine: Moon didn’t talk much, barely moving on his cushion and making tiny movements with his head anytime somebody wanted his approval on a particular matter. Sun would have recruited some medics and healers to send over to his reign to help with the sick and the wounded under the oath of not telling a soul of what they witnessed there. Building materials would have been sent after a brief period of studying and understand the materials and as for the emergency stock, Sun was already wrapping his head around on how to present the administrative order to his people (read: Meridiana and Sili in particular). 

But everything they were saying was a flow of words that by the end of it all was barely touching him, more interested in looking at Moon, at the way he was sitting, the slow movement of his hand whenever he had to fix an invisible wrinkle on his long, elaborated robe. Sun squinted his eyes slightly: he wished he could see at least one of the thousand eyes they everyone talked about, wondering what colour they were (or were they supposed to be all different from each other?). Did he really have at least two mouths, one to devour the souls of the sinners and one to speak the common tongue? Was his skin glass-like in certain spots? They were all stories, of course, some part of him knew that… but what if they retained some part of the truth? What if there was actually something monstrous behind that veil and those heavy clothes and—

« First Eye.»

« Eh?»

Asidera was looking at him with those big, bulging eyes, eyeing first him and then the glass next to his arm. When Sun turned, water was boiling inside, a sound soft but persistent nonetheless.

Sun laughed, hovering with his hand on the brim. « Oops, sorry—» The pop that the goblet made when his palm reached the glass was so sudden Lea actually jumped on his place, a shrill sound coming out of his mouth before he could stop himself. The glass didn’t actually cut him or anyone around, but the surprise of it all still startled him. Especially when he didn’t know what to do with his hand in front of everybody and what remained of his own goblet.

He swept the pieces off the table, hiding the hand under the table and sounding as casual as possible – nobody could think this was an awkward accident if he made sure it all looked like some magic trick to lighten up the mood. « I didn’t like that glass anyway.»

Sun knew Asidera was already planning how fast they could kill an entity and getting away with it with the all Circle, so he didn’t bother turning to watch them. But Elrena had almost a disgusted look on her features and Even seemed almost pitiful, eyes going up and down his figure as to try and understand who put him on the throne anyway.

But even all through it, Moon still laughed. Laughed and laughed until he had to put a hand in front of him, constantly afraid that the veil would have given him away even the slightest detail. Terra almost looked surprised and the Master was smiling so wide at Moon Sun could see his gums – much like a child could smile.

« At least someone is having fun,» Sun said and didn’t even notice he had started to laugh as well. It was such a bad moment to laugh, absurd in front of his whole court and Asidera themselves, completely unmotivated.

And yet, Sun couldn’t stop and at some point he even forgot why he had started laughing in the first place.

*

Sleep time has been a challenge since Moon had arrived in Sun’s kingdom. The sky was always as blue as ever and not a single star in the sky would have advised him of the turning. It was a constant, radiant place who knew by heart its own rhythm without need of any more aid. And on the coach he was travelling, Moon could have easily draped some sheets and covers onto the windows and plunged himself into darkness, but in his room his window were so tall and big he would have been able to throw something over them only with the gift of flying.

He renounced his beloved darkness as soon as he entered the chamber. It was nice: high ceiling and curtains light enough to be moved even by the slightest breeze coming from the window. There was no fireplace, nor Moon felt the need to close the window from the cold outside: it was a completely different reality from his own and even after ten days, Moon had trouble getting used to it. It was also true that the meeting had left him with little to no energy: the thought of his people in need back home, with only the light of the stars to guide them and a short council of Master, left him plagued with guilt.

The only moment of relief from all of that came when the door opened up. Moon was already squandering his shoulders, pulling his back straight enough to pull some muscles when he saw a dark, tiny head popping in.

Xion.

Moon opened up his arms instantly and when he did, his daughter slipped swiftly in and flew into his arms, rubbing her forehead against the chest. It felt still incredibly nice even after all those centuries.

« I saw the ocean!» She said, raising up her head from the fabric, eyes glinting and grinning so wide that Moon was sure the corner of her lips hurt.

He smiled behind the veil. « Windriser promised you, after all.»

Xion took a step back, letting his father sit on the edge of the bed before speaking up again. « It is… _so_ huge, Father! It goes on and on and on you never actually see the end of it, it’s like seeing the sky but upside down and much clearer. And the smell!» She jumped at the thought, sword clinging at her side – the reminder of the knight she was with the enthusiasm of the child she looked like. « It tingles your nose! It’s not normal water, it is so salty to make you gag and it’s _lukewarm_! It is…» and she looked at the ceiling as to search for the right word. « It’s…»

« I know,» he said, smiling behind the veil, « I know what you mean.»

She sat down next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. « It was amazing. You would love it.»

« I know I would.»

They stayed in silence for a long while, Xion’s feet dangling from the edge of the bed – sometimes, Moon would forget how tiny she could be.

« I wish you could stay longer here,» Moon said, voice barely a whisper.

« I don’t,» she said, wrapping her arm around his own and rubbing her forehead against his arm. « I have everything I need.»

Moon felt a vine wrapping viciously around his heart, tight enough to leave him breathless. Xion had the kind of sincerity and spontaneity that kids have: no filters, tongue unbridled, knowing full well that wearing her heart on her sleeve wasn’t a stain but a valiant virtue. He touched her cheek with the back of his hand, feeling a ting of warmth radiating from it – the effect of the whole afternoon spent on the shore, sun stung.

« You should go sleep,» Moon told her, ruffling softly her hair – they felt almost coarse and that was a novelty considering how soft they usually were. « Apparently, it’s fairly late here and we’ll leave early tomorrow.»

« I’m not tired, I can stay up with you,» and Moon mentally laughed that as well wasn’t anything new to his ears.

« I know this, but you need to rest,» and he leant down just slightly to give her a veiled kiss on the forehead. « Listen to your father.»

Xion huffed, jumping down the bed and dragging her feet to the door just to make her point clear. Moon walked with her at the door.

« I’m sure you will find sleep soon,» he commented, opening the door for her. When she turned around to close the door, Xion stuck her tongue out as her father’s concern for her lack of sleep was a direct scorn at her pride. With that, she turned on her heels and strutted back to her own room.

Her brief presence left a lingering warmth inside Moon’s heart, radiating through his skin, reaching the fingertips just so. It was a blessing, but he actually left him taxed, as if warmth wasn’t something he was so attuned to and his body needed a minute to reprogram itself. When he put a hand on the wall, the warmth was even more present. As it was radiating not through him as he first thought, but it was coming directly from the wall.

He put the other hand as well on the smooth surface, fingers tentatively searching for the warmth and at the same time shying away from it from time to time. He took a step on the side, feeling the trail of warmth moving ever slightly to the left, as if asking him to follow. Moon complied, taking another step and another, hand smoothing over the surface.

Moon’s whole existence had taught him that the walls were unforgiving: enclosing him in a room where nobody could actually see him besides few exalted exceptions and forced to cover himself anyway because of the relentless cold – an existence spent veiled and covered from nature and prying, fearful eyes all the same. But these walls felt like a blessing: closing him in, yes, but feeling more like a hug than a voluntarily prison.

Moon raised his arm to reach the warmth up the wall, placing his whole palm down when he felt it coming up with the movement. The sleeve went down his arm and surprisingly enough Moon didn’t feel the need to cover himself – he let it fall down and down again, showing wrist, forearm, elbow, no eyes to look at him and just that warmth to comfort him. There was a part of him that wanted to be fully engulfed by it, cradled until he fell asleep – didn’t matter if that meant sleeping all curled up against the wall in a corner of the room when there was a comfy bed right there.

He leant his head slightly forward. More and more, until it almost resembled a bow. The headpiece touched the wall first, way before he could reach the surface with his forehead. He put a hand on the crown, curling his fingers around the silver.

« Moon?»

That voice almost made him trip in his own feet when he took a step back, hands going directly to his face like the simple gesture of putting a finger to the headpiece might have shown something of his features to a room that was actually empty.

_First Eye._

His room was right next to Sun’s, but he didn’t think the walls would be so thin to radiate his own warmth. Or maybe it was because of his presence – so bright that even standing in the room next to Moon, his presence would still be a palpable thing.

Moon retracted back from the wall, afraid of even breathing out a single sigh. He should’ve said something back to First Eye, but every word seemed like a futile thing, already spent.

Much like the warmth that his skin had felt for just a brief moment before dissipating.

*

Sun didn’t sleep that day.

He spent the night curled in his best clothes, curled next to the wall that still felt lukewarm to the touch, freckles so bright he was sure their light was keeping everyone awake. Sun had experienced before the feeling of something that wasn’t actually cold but neither particularly warm – Asidera’s hand whenever he would touch it, his son’s winds, the sea. He knew about that sensation and the brief relief they all could bring to him for just one moment.

But this was a totally different feeling – he made him crave closeness, like his body was a burden to him and wanted to shed of his mortal form just to have the chance to get closer and closer until he could become a single particle inside that wall.

Sun left out a whole body sigh when he leant his cheek onto the surface. When it moved, Sun moved as well, searching for the brief relief, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. He moved upward his arm, familiarity lurking in the back of his mind.

« Moon?»

The moment the name slipped past his lips, the lukewarm sensation died almost immediately, replaced as fast by the warmth that Sun had known his whole life. He was about to say something else, coaxing Moon out of his shell for his own relief, but he knew that with Moon carefulness and calm worked way better than any kind word he could use.

That would do.

When the first bird started chirping outside and the first wind started to blow, Sun rose from his position – just now he could understand how deeply uncomfortable that was. His clothes were all wrinkled – for Asidera’s much displeasure – and his back hurt way more than he first thought. He fixed himself as best as he could, smoothing over the wrinkles on the robe and placing on top of his head the headpiece that at some point in the middle of the day had discarded entirely.

He waited a full hour before going out and for the whole while Sun tried to remember the tingling on the tip of his fingers when he first touched the wall.

When it was time to go for Moon, the Circle was already out on the top of the stairs and the streets were empty. Asidera was standing at his side and Roxas, Namine and Kairi were still animatedly talking with Xion – looking more like kids than old fae, children and not ancient beings with the past weighing on their shoulders. When it was time to go, the children were the first one to go down the stairs, Asidera right behind with the Circle. Sun and Moon closed the whole parade.

« Thank you,» Moon started saying, keeping the same pace as Sun’s steps, « for everything you have done for us, First Eye. We will give you back every single coin you lent us. This debt will not be forgotten.»

« Think about your people first, Moon,» Sun commented, keeping an eye on the stairs – he didn’t trip when he first came here, it would be embarrassing at best tripping now and bringing down with him the whole Circle and Asidera themselves. « Don’t torture yourself over economics right now. We will discuss the details on the Mask in the next few days, but for now go back home.»

Moon nodded, reaching the last of the steps. On the balcony and on the roof of the houses in the main streets, everyone was looking down at Sun and Moon like some old ghosts. A tentative hum started raising in the sky as the busy buzz of working insects. Moon and his court immediately raised their eyes up.

« What are they doing?» Xion asked, taking one single step forward, eyes locking on a woman on the balcony. She had long auburn hair and the smile of someone who had a secret to tell you.

She opened up her mouth and the song started. A high, solemn thing that radiated all through the main street, high in the sky, thunderous voices that didn’t hurt but caressed the ear. There was a known harmony that made Sun smile every time he started to hear the first note.

There was nothing sad in that song, for there was nothing tragic in rebirth: the chance of seeing each other again in less difficult times and the strength to push forward amidst the fog and the uncertainty of the future.

« Your people are going through the darkest night,» Sun said, walking in front of him so that he could see him. « It’s hard to see the end of it and you might forget the taste of spring. May this song remind you that even in this hard times, even if we’re a world apart, there will always be a light.»

And to this, Asidera and his court bowed their head in salute.

Moon made a minute movement with his head, as if the burden on his head made his head heavy and difficult to move around. Then he turned around and entered the coach, Terra and Xion in tow – Sun couldn’t help but notice the small crocus appointed to her shoulder, resting neatly in the folds of her robe.

The long song accompanied the coach for the whole street and not once Sun’s eyes wavered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "italia italia" // pinguini tattici nucleari 
> 
> i cannot go back to my family back home right now and reading the news is a constant struggle for both me and my gf. the ending of this chapter is both a salute and a homage to my home, because i know no other way to stay close to it but with my own art. 
> 
> italia, come fece dante più di 600 anni fa, usciremo "a riveder le stelle".


	16. but i’ve got plans to get to you, you know, don’t you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope to update every tuesday like before now that im in lockdown - not much else to do aside from procrastinating and that is still a threat that could postpone updates, knowing my lazy ass. anyway hope y'all safe

On her journey back home, Xion dreamt of the upside down sky. It was crystal blue and the smell tingled her nose. The salt made her hair coarser, making it harder for the stardust to fall on her shoulder, clinging to the roots and the ends. The sand was warm as Sun’s touch but the water itself was lukewarm when she hesitantly dipped her feet in. In her ears sounded Windriser’s calm voice, his finger attentively wrapped around her own. Even in her dreams, he smelled of something she couldn’t exactly pinpoint. When he got closer, Xion recognized it.

Not salt, but flowers.

It wasn’t much as a jolt, but she woke up with blown out eyes, body all locked up. The fit of pain she felt at the nape of her neck was enough to bring her back to reality – the velvet of the curtain, the familiar heavy weight of her cape, the distinct cling of the sword when it rattled against the wall of the coach. She sat up straight, one leg so numb because of the position she had fallen asleep in, even moving it was a nuisance. In front of her, Terra was all curled up on the right corner, arms crossed on his chest; even while sleeping, his frown didn’t leave him.

« You’re awake,» Moon’s voice made her turn abruptly toward him. His head was slightly lolling to the side, finger following the lines of the book resting on his lap. He was half-way through it and Xion was sure he hadn’t brought anything with him when the journey started – said that he would be too unfocused to read anyway, something that actually puzzled her considering what kind of avid reader her father was. The pages were yellowish at the corners and she could see burnt prints here and there on the pages.

« What is that?» Xion asked with a yawn, leaning toward him.

He shook his head. « Sun’s Librarian gave it to me before leaving. He said I might find it rather interesting and for now this has been an enthralling read.»

« What is that about?»

« It’s a collection of old stories and legends. They all seem like fairy tales,» he commented, turning another page. At the bottom corner of the right page there was a small drawing of a small stone – it was coloured with pretty shades of yellow, but Xion was sure once it should’ve resembled gold; now it only looked pastel due to the passing of time and the pressure of fingers onto the paper. It had a neat handwriting and every space seemed calculated to be perfect, every single letter shaped almost identically. It was an art piece of its own.

They stayed in a comfortable silence for a while, Xion reading the piece her father was halfway through. He waited for her to finish up the page before turning the corner once again. They story didn’t make much sense to her without knowing the beginning and even though the flowing of the story was smooth, Xion still found herself distracted by everything and nothing – Terra’s soft snores, the chirping of the birds outside. Her father seemed to notice straight away at the second time Xion turned her head toward the window to the softest sound.

« Don’t you want to go outside?» He asked, eyes scanning the big drawing on the left page – it depicted a woman with a lance, armour shining under the sun and a lance in her hand. There was a long, red line drawn in the middle of her stern face, from the roots of her hair all the way down to the chin. « You could walk with Windriser if you’d like.»

Xion relaxed against the back of her seat. She wanted to go outside and smell the fresh air until she had the chance to, marvelling at how much more relaxed her shoulders were since she stepped through the Veil the first time. At the same time, she didn’t actually want to leave her father to his own devices, gnawed alive by worry for his own country and the sense of guilt and apprehension of asking someone else for help. She craved the fresh air of outside but still wanted to stay close. A bit of a conundrum, really.

Moon seemed to notice her inner conflict. « Fresh air will help you clear up your head. Go,» and ran a hand through her short hair, drawing stardust to his hand. He wasn’t even looking at her, eyes intently fixed on the page in front of him. He seemed very invested in the story, no drawing on the pages this time.

Xion nodded and with one last salute to her father, she opened the door enough to slip through and jump down from the coach, plunging it once again in darkness. There was no salty smell outside, nothing of the scent that had tingled her nose just few hours before, when her feet were dipped in clear, lukewarm water and the warmth sand grazed her toes. It was fresh nonetheless and the breeze didn’t feel like ice on her skin.

Windriser was walking ahead next to two Attendants from Moon’s court – their attire was completely concealed by the long, translucent fabric wrapped around their large hats, coming down in cascades that were meant to protect them from the light. They were still able to see the outside and if someone squinted their eyes, they might have been able to see through just fine – nothing close to the fine work of her father’s veil, designed to show him clearly what he had in front of him and still able to hide him completely from outsider’s view. Under this sky, their fabric seem to shine under the light – almost as there was stardust sprayed on it.

It was a strange juxtaposition to Xion: Windriser had a shot of blond hair, close to hay, to mead, to gold, a loud contrast to the night blue’s attire of the two women, their hair nowhere to be seen. His clothes were soft on the skin and billowed easily to the wind, bulging every time a breeze blew by; on the contrary, the Attendant’s veil had been weaved with a much heavier fabric, meant to keep the warmth in – it didn’t move that easily to the slightest breeze as Windriser’s clothes might do.

To anyone’s eyes, the Attendants seemed unreachable, someone you might not approach for fear of what you might see behind the fabric. But Windriser… Windriser had the lightness of someone who had always lived under the splendour, the privilege of existing under benevolent gods who had decided to smile at him and grant him a life in gold.

Xion was born with a sword in her arms and, even despite his trickster nature, Roxas came up from the deepest ocean as any other child coming to life: unarmed.

But this Xion could not know.

« Moonlight.»

The taller Attendant tipped her head slightly forward as a form of silent salute when she noticed her.

« You slept a lot,» Windriser commented, coming up to stand beside her, the conversation with the Attendant already cast out of his mind – Xion thought with a smile that he might have taken the attention’s span from his father, considering how volatile his conversations were.

« There’s nothing hiding in the darkness here. I don’t have to stay vigilant.»

« You know, you actually creep me out when you say that.»

Xion laughed. « I take it as a compliment, considering how hard is it to scare a fae.»

« It’s not that hard. Kairi scares me.»

« You’re scared of her? I think she’s lovely,» and with a smaller voice, Xion added, « and her sister as well.»

Windriser didn’t comment on that, but she could feel his gaze upon her. When she turned her eyes toward him, Roxas had an eyebrow raised, a sceptical expression she didn’t know how to respond to. He was staring at her like saying “yes, I noticed that”. Still, he didn’t utter a word.

« I just,» she started saying, rubbing her fingers together in a nervous gesture – were her hands always that sweaty?, she never noticed, « it must be hard for them to go unnoticed.»

Windriser snorted a laugh. « I guess that’s a way to say it.» There was a long pause after that, in which Xion finally was able to completely dry out her palms on her robe – the warmth was starting to get to her. The silence was a comfortable one, didn’t feel the need to fill it with words. The crocus that Namine had neatly tucked in the folds of her clothes was now wrapped by the stem on the guard of her sword, a strike of purple against the white of the weapon. It still looked as fresh as this morning, when Namine called her close so that she could pin the flower down for her.

Someone could have said that the rest of the journey was uneventful, passing through battered and wild streets and hills and crossing rivers, but for Moon’s whole court – no matter if they’ve already seen the same, exact sight on the journey to the capital – everything still gave them a sense of novelty. Their pace had started to pick up on the next day, pulled by Moon’s sense of urgency of coming back home and seeing how his people were faring with just the lights of the star above them.

It was the start of the seventh day.

« Can’t they see without him?» Windriser asked when they stopped to rest the same day. He was munching on some dried fruit the villagers had offered him, giving smiles and kind words. Their skin was sun stung and they were all looking at Xion like she had some secrets to spill and they were eager to drink it all up. She was eating some sort of stuffed pie that at a first glance looked scrumptious – bright red with specks of green and yellow all around, didn’t even ask what they were when the smell was so inviting. The first bite she took seemed to set her whole mouth on fire, masking her cough as much as she could before giving up and gulping down three glasses and a small loaf (there was nothing gracious in Roxas’ laugh: the howl of the wind on the treetops, a shrill that set her off. It was an eerie sound to hear, especially when it was coming from a place of hilarity).

It took her a while to regain her composure and when she did, her eyes were still tingling because of the tears, the pie left abandoned on the small plate. « The problem isn’t _not seeing,» _she croaked out, mortified of her own voice – protector of the people and she got knocked out because of some spices. She gulped down another glass, the sweet juice going down her throat like a blessing. « The stars are bright – not as my father’s light, but everyone can still actually see. I told you: the problem is who hides in the shadows.»

« And who hides in the shadows?»

Xion opened her mouth to respond when she heard movement behind her. Terra was regarding the both of them with a kind smile.

« Moonlight, your father asked of you.»

Her eyes went from him to the coach. Then she nodded. « I will tell you. But maybe not tonight.» Xion chuckled before Windriser could correct her. « Today, yes.» And she left before he could add anything else.

Her father was waiting.

*

Terra waited for Xion to enter the coach before turning his gaze toward Windriser. « May I sit with you?»

The boy chuckled. « There’s not exactly a crowd here.» It wasn’t exactly a biting response, and yet, as there was an inner voice to reprimand him, Roxas shook his head at himself. « Sure,» and he scooted a bit back as to make space for him. For a moment, Terra wondered if the voice that has mentally scolded him was coming from his Master of Star or his father – or both actually.

He sat down, mimicking his position. Terra had already had the opportunity to see Windriser up close – really up close, considering he was the one who helped him reach his own room in Moon’s castle after his family discussion with Tempest. The white of his eyes giving away to the blue while the corner of his mouth slowly receded back was a picture tattooed in the back of his mind. But in front of him, right now, there was only a boy eating dried apricots, no older than seventeen.

« How’s Aqua?» Windriser asked, unclasping the cape from the collar so that he could rest it on top of his shoulders – maybe Moon’s effects was starting to get to him, even with that distance between them.

« She’s very well,» Terra said, picking up a peach from the wooden bowl, « I think she went back to her clan for a while.»

« I think she’s the only one who actually _wants_ to go back to her own clan.»

Terra didn’t comment on that. Many fae left their own families behind and didn’t look back – considering Windriser’s family and what kind of things his brother and cousin fed on, he could understand why. But dealing fae like himself were different: it was common for them to go back from time to time to see families and kin (not specifically for Terra, who had left his old man as soon as he reached adulthood, but Aqua still went back to see her mothers and her sisters).

« You never went back to your home?»

Roxas shook his head, laying down on the ground and crossing his arms behind the head. « No way. I have nothing there,» and for a moment, he reached with his hand forward. Terra thought he was just stretching but his gaze went to the gold bracelet that slid down along his wrist. A long silence followed. « My cousin always travels, goes where he wants.»

« And your brother?»

Windriser looked at him sideways. There was nothing threatening in that gaze, but still his blue eyes had darkened at the edge, like a sky bearing a storm. He lowered down his arm, resting it on his stomach. « My brother is always with me. No need to search for him.»

Terra found that sentence strange at best and absolutely creepy at worst, but still made no comment on it. He had a feeling that the less he knew about his family, the better. He decided to divert his whole attention to other matters.

« Your father has been incredibly kind to us,» he commented, looking back at the coach where Moon and Xion were conversing. « I think Moon needed a friend, especially now.»

Windriser turned his head toward him. « I mean,» he shrugged nonchalantly, « You’re kinda chill, I think he sees you as a friend.»

Terra shook his head. « I’m the other end of a deal. Nothing more. I can sometimes be his councillor, but nothing more than that. Friend is a too strong word, especially with Moon’s consideration of fae.»

« And what’s that?»

« Untrustworthy.»

Windriser’s head shot back like he got hit in the face. There was confusion draped on his features, like Terra as started to speak in a language he didn’t understand. Terra wasn’t exactly surprised by his reaction, knowing how reclusive Moon’s world was, how little information came through. At the same time, it was a shock seeing Roxas’ like that, considering that maybe, among all the fae that Moon has encountered, maybe Windriser was the only one who had received an ounce of trust from Silver Light.

« It’s not my place to speak,» Terra added, « but Moon’s relationship with fae is… troubled, to say the least. There’s a reason I’m the only one allowed into his court.»

« And the reason is—»

« It’s not my place to speak.»

Windriser sat down once again, blue eyes still fixed on him. He didn’t press forward, but Terra knew how many questions were piling up onto his tongue, not giving voice to any.

« I’m useful to help his people. He’s useful to me to help my companion and myself. The deal is the only thing that connects us.»

Windriser laughed. « That’s a bit rough, don’t you think?»

« It might be. But as long as he’s meeting his end of the deal, I’m not one to question the depth of our relationship.»

« And what do you get for your services?»

Terra smiled. He wasn’t one to give away his secrets so easily. « And what do you get for your services?»

Windriser grinned. « I’m not dealing.»

« You have a deal. Different from me, yes, but still a deal.»

« Then I guess I get what every son is expected to receive.»

« And what’s that?»

« An annoying burden of a father.»

Terra laughed at his answer. « I know you love your father. I see the way you look at him.»

« Of course I do, but I’m his son: I have to complain about him.»

That stole another laugh from him. « You’re not wrong.»

Windriser was about to speak once again when the door of the coach opened. Xion had a stern expression on her face and she looked deep in thoughts, as if the conversation was still weighing on her mind. When she raised her head to meet Windriser’s gaze, her smile was the brightest thing Terra had ever seen.

_They truly are just kids. _

*

It was the start of the ninth day by the time they reached the Veil. Moon had left the coach behind and preferred walking for a bit – mostly because he needed to stretch his legs after so much time spent sitting, but some part of him really just wanted to feel the warmth on his clothes, radiating through his skin and bones. Even walking through grass felt completely different, almost softer to the fingertips when he bent down to caress the stems. Xion was walking closer to him, words a river that Moon didn’t feel like stopping. He couldn’t even remember the last time his daughter talked for so long, almost jumping on her place on a particular memory.

She was telling him about Namine (again) and her sister and the things she saw in the ocean (_again_) and how much she wished he could have been there to see it. Maybe next time they could go together, perhaps they could actually visit the city if they cover themselves well enough and Sun walked next to them. _Next time,_ _next time, next time_ – there was a sense of promise for every single thing Xion wanted to do in the near future. Like that was actually a quite simple journey to do and they could come back next week, and the next week again, and again and again until they forgot the cold they lived in and left everything behind.

And for her own sake, Moon wished he could leave her there – renouncing her heavy clothes and going around with yellow and red dresses, breaking her own sword in tiny pieces and forget about her fights. For a father always wish the best for their own daughters and Moon wasn’t one to keep his own child caged just because of affection or fear of loneliness.

_I have everything I need. _

He sighed at the memory of thin arms wrapping around his own in search of affection that she would always find in him. The problem with Xion was that she would probably threaten to wreck havoc into his kingdom if he’d even thought about leaving her behind for a greater good.

_But I would stay. _

His mind was treacherous like that and as soon as he thought it, Moon felt instantly a pang of regret and guilt: why would he leave everything behind, people that needed him and would always support him through thick and thin, just for the brief comfort of friendship? Sun was as feeble as the summer wind: he would turn his attention to something else one day and Moon would be left there gasping for air, wondering how he was even able to live without company. He had seen him, he had come to know him. He didn’t need to feel that kind of pain again. There was a reason he had decided to close everything away, no matter if he had to live with that burden on his shoulders.

His daughter was enough. He didn’t need anything else.

« We’re here,» Xion said, intruding in his thoughts. The Veil was unmoving in front of him, not showing what was behind – keeping the secret, as it should be. Windriser seemed restless, shifting his weight going from one leg to the other: it must have been frustrating for wind incarnated to adjust to their pace, taking days instead of mere hours to reach Meridiana.

« Thank you for guiding us back, Windriser,» Moon said, standing right in front of the Veil.

« No big deal, it’s been…» and he saw him searching for the right word – one that wasn’t exactly a lie but neither the whole truth. « Interesting.» Moon smiled behind the fabric: a wise choice of wording.

« We’ll still need to give your Librarians the book they need for the materials,» Terra added. He was standing next to the chocobo his Master of Trade was occupying: he seemed awfully tired and couldn’t actually blame him considering the pace Moon had forced them to keep. He didn’t want to leave his land unguarded any further; nine days were long enough.

Moon was about to salute him again before Xion interrupted him.

« Come back with us,» she said, wrapping a comforting arm around him. She directed her gaze toward him: Moon instantly knew what she was doing – a kid trying to buy out her own father with wise eyes and a big smile. « Just the time to get the books from the Archives and then I’m walking him back to the Veil. Promise.»

« That would be a good idea, Silver Light,» the Master of Trade added, breaking his train of thoughts. « Instead of sending someone from Sun’s court here at the Veil just to collect the books, he could come back with us and get them himself. The Librarians could start studying them immediately.»

Moon hated how much power Xion could have over him: just a smile and he was already bought. He felt the vines around his heart tighten the grip when he made a minute movement with his head, nodding. That single positive response made Xion smile even wider than before, almost bouncing on her place. It must have felt like a gift to her, but to Moon it was nothing short that another show of how much she was missing out in just being his daughter and the sword of his people.

Windriser stayed perfectly still under his scrutiny, like he knew that if his gaze wavered Moon would have seen it as a sign of uncertainty. The only thing he did after his response was bending his head just a little as a sign of thank and then he unclasped his cape, wrapping it instead around his shoulders – with the kind of clothes he was wearing, he would have surely felt the cold this time. He raised the hood over his head.

« I will show you Meridiana another time,» he said to Xion, whose eyes were looking away in the distance. To the colourful walls of a city she wished to see and would have to wait for another day. Next time, next time, next time. Xion seemed satisfied with that answer anyway, eyes big with wonders.

« Shall we go?» intruded the Master of Trade once again, nudging his chocobo forward: it seemed he couldn’t wait to cross the Veil and just leave this whole affair behind. At least for a while.

Moon’s world, as usual, had the power to steal any foreigner’s breath away – both literally and figuratively speaking, considering the shudder that shook Windriser the second he stepped through. The stars in the night sky were bright enough to show the way, but it was still a faint, feeble thing opposed to the bright night they were all used to. When Moon stepped in through the Veil, cold air cutting through his clothes, the stars seemed to light up the sky a bit more faintly, as if his sole presence was enough to make everything a bit brighter, a bit safer.

Incredibly enough, even if his shoulder locked together instantly and his feet recognized the cold, hard earth underneath, Moon missed the view: he had missed looking up and see a diamond sky, missed the cold breeze that stole his breath every time and shifting in his heavy clothes, collecting all the warmth. He missed all of that, despite the harshness of all of it.

_Would Sun understand?_

Moon asked that to no one in particular but some deeper part of himself. They were going down the hill, feeling the tall grass caressing his wrists as if welcoming back home. He had missed walking that street to the gates, saluting the guards back anytime they bowed their head at him.

Io was a city built to give out a sense of opulence even without the need of gold and the rose stone that, in Sun’s lands, made everything shiny and much prettier to the sight. The churches were built to give the illusion of giants stretching their towers toward the sky, as to reach for the stars, and cast long shadows upon the streets, giving a sense of security more than oppression. There were no drapes thrown over the street from one roof to the other and no plants whatsoever onto their balconies. Everything was built to be efficient more than pure aesthetic.

It would have been prettier hadn’t been for the devastation that now reigned. Many roofs were completely shattered, leaving whole houses without protection from the cold and one church had his window glass completely frayed, to the point that just one single glass shard was still standing, as a reminder of the devastation that Tempest had brought with him. A fountain in the middle of the plaza had his upper basin shattered, but water still flowed – even though way less elegantly than it was used to.

Behind him, he felt Windriser shifting his hood forward, as to hide himself from view. Moon had no words of comfort to give.

The streets were mostly crowded with workers at rest, hunched over pieces of woods and massive stones. The moment they saw him, they all cheered, coming closer. And yet never close enough to touch him – as if they were silently afraid of what he was hiding beneath all those heavy clothes. They bowed, they cheered, they called for their friends… but they would never stretch their hands towards him.

The thought of Sun’s people touching him and hugging him and even kissing him if they were bold enough, drowning in warmth, left him craving for something he didn’t have a word for. He didn’t even know what he so desired, but he was hyper aware that, whatever he wanted, he couldn’t have it. And it was alright, even if it hurt in the end. After all, he was made to grant other people’s wishes, not his own.

_Would anyone understand? _

« Help is coming,» Moon said to a crowd of workers, stopping by. « This time, we won’t be alone.»

The men and the women looked around as puzzled. There was a kind of suspicious relief behind their expressions, eyes going from Moon to Windriser, inspecting his clothes, the colours, the manufacture that was foreign to their skill. He remained stoic under their close scrutiny, but there was a veil of guilt that pained Moon to see even though he didn’t have any comforting word to offer.

« Sun is sending help,» Moon said. « Help from… a _friend_.» It was a strange word to pronounce and once it was out, he instantly regretted saying it.

The crowd looked around even more confused than before, but nobody dared to speak and ask for more explanation.

« Everything will be explained in due time,» Terra intruded, getting closer to the crowd. « For now, let’s just focus on our work.»

Contrary to how they acted with Moon, Terra seemed perfectly comfortable with touching and even bending down to listen to secret and hushed whispers – people kept guiding him forward, showing him around their progress, the papers. He offered easy smiles, advices, encouragements. He was acting as a chief, more as a human than a superior fae. Moon heard him laugh when they passed through the crowd, heading toward the castle.

He was offering all the things that Moon couldn’t possibly give.

That didn’t exactly hurt him. It _enraged_ him.

Sometimes the veil could truly be a blessing.

By the time they reached the castle, Moon’s rage had dissipated, only a sour taste remaining on the back of his tongue. The Archives were on the second floor and half the wing was solely occupied by great stacks of glass shelves, books neatly tucked away, safe and sound. People were going up and down the stairs, consulting pages and parchments, when Moon entered. When he turned around to look at Windriser, the boy had just bumped against Xion’s back, too focused on the shelves to even acknowledge his mistake. Moon feared he would have snapped his neck by looking so far up.

« That is my father,» Xion explained to him, pointing at the huge series of blue engravings on the glass dome. The light of the stars was shining down the shelves, a game of purple and blue lights playing dancing onto the stone floor and on their faces. The blue figure on the glass had its arms stretched wide open and there was a white circle on the top of its forehead that covered most of its face. And opposite to it, in a sea of stars, there was another etching. « And that is me,» Xion concluded, making Windriser turn around so he could properly see it. The figure had her arms closed at the heart, only the side of her stylized face watching up toward the tiny, specks of stars.

In one hand, she kept just a straight, brilliant line of white – her sword. On the other, there was a single strike of red.

Moon spoke before the boy could ask anything, word already shaping around a question.

« Windriser,» he said, interrupting his train of thoughts, « follow me.» The boy stumbled forward, eyes still hesitantly going up to study the designs, edging into his mind as many details as he could. Moon approached the shelves in the far back, saluting every scholar he found in his way. « Cold and humidity might ruin the books,» he said, opening a shelf so he could reach for the biggest tome. « We have to keep them safe,» and he turned around to give him the book. Windriser made a face at the weight, but raised no complaint.

He grabbed another couple of parchments that could be useful, sparse documents that he recommended Windriser not to lose or misplaced in random orders – the scholars and the holder of the Archive could be way more dangerous than any other natural calamity that might struck Moon’s kingdom. By the end of the tour, Windriser was completely packed, struggling to keep everything in his arms.

« Maybe I should give you a bag,» Xion said, walking briskly toward a girl, leaving Moon and Windriser alone. The boy was focusing his attention on the burden in his arms; Moon didn’t know if he was doing that because he was actually interesting in the reads or it was just an awkward situation to find himself in.

« Will you be alright?» Moon asked, more out of decency than actual care. He was fae; of course he would be alright. « On the way home?»

Windriser nodded stiffly. « Don’t worry. A bag will help me greatly,» and he chuckled, fixing his grip around the biggest tome.

« Should they need more, let your father know. He will tell me,» and Moon smiled behind the veil, because of course his father would have let him know. There was nothing Sun would have missed to let him know, if that meant talking to him for just five minutes.

The boy nodded. « I will.»

Moon spoke up before Xion could come back. « Did you father know now?»

Windriser tilted his head to the side. « What?»

« Does he know what to ask for?»

The boy squinted his eyes as to search for answers. But Moon had none to give: the question was clear enough to anyone who knew the right answer.

« For… what?»

Moon smiled behind the veil, but that the boy couldn’t see. « Ask him again, please.» But Moon already knew the answer.

And that was the end of their brief conversation. Xion helped him ease every document inside the satchels and even then Windriser's back seemed to bend under the weight.

Moon bid his goodbye right afterward. There was nothing else he could say except to be careful on the way back and thanked him once again for all his help. Xion walked him to the Veil and Moon stood behind, surrounded by Master who updated him on the situation, what happened, the progress made; a river of words that made the burden on his head incredibly heavier with every duty, every task appointed, every documents he had to review.

Sun seemed a feeble memory in the back of his mind, and so the warmth he had come to know just by standing under a clear sky. The warmth he had come to know by placing his fingers on the wall, sleeve sliding down, ready to take off his veil here and there. The voice reminding him that – no matter the circumstances – he would have never been able to let go of himself so easily.

« Leave me,» he said after a while. A peace that he didn’t know he needed until the room plunged into silence and the only things left behind, aside from the documents, were his own thoughts. He got up from the throne (had it always been that uncomfortable to sit on?), walking up to the balcony. The usual silence was interrupted by the sound of people working, a noise that if he closed his eyes, it reminded him of the humming of bees. There was a kind of beauty that Moon would never get tired to see – how his light would hit the front of the House of the Remembrance, the colours of the glass, the houses built all close to each other, so that it was almost impossible to even see the alleys.

And it was all the same. Never changing. He didn’t know if it was out of luck or misfortune.

« Father.»

Moon turned around. He didn’t even hear her. She had an easy smile on her lips and when Moon opened up his arms, Xion rushed in to meet him. She hid her head in his chest and sighed when he crossed his arms behind her back. Like this, with his big robe and the giant sleeves, his daughter almost disappeared under the fabric. And for a moment, he wished for it: keeping his daughter close enough that the world might forget about her and he wouldn’t need to hide her anymore.

But Moon had been precluded wishes.

He held her so close he almost missed it.

« Thank you.»

The vines around his heart slackened their grip. He breathed out. The world outside and the crown could wait.

_No, I don’t think anyone would understand._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "plans" // oh wonder


	17. do you think we were speaking in tongues or simply not enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said i would have updated on tuesday and my computer Did Fucking Listen because it self destructed, anyway here's the chapter and thanks for the wait!

The cold was a pale memory branded into his skin and yet Sun clang to it as much as a man in a storm might do with a safeline. The sensation was long gone but Sun could still imagine the feeling under skin, running through nerves and bones. Focus was eluding him and sleep had been lost for quite a while, coming and going as it pleased. 

And as much as his mind was fraying, Sun’s tasks were still there, waiting for him and as wide awake as he felt. The papers felt too fragile in his grasp, leaving burnt fingertips on the corners; words from his Masters felt too heavy, said in a second and already spent. A few days have passed and surely by now Moon was already home - on the contrary, his son was nowhere to be found. No matter, considering how volatile Windriser’s mind was. 

Many times Sun entered the room where the Mask was kept, always retracing his steps back and focusing on some other matter (which was destined to be forgotten in the following minutes). He wanted to speak with Moon, discussing about their work, maybe offering some words of comfort if he needed to. But every single thing he craved to tell him seemed fickle - bizarre, considering how easy it has been for Sun to speak of absolutely nothing in the past weeks. But now that he had seen it, it felt like everything had changed. 

_ At the end of this day, nothing will ever be the same.  _

He said it. Those were his words, heavy as an omen, conjuring storms and changing winds upon his own lands. And yet, it still felt strange living through the change of the tides, waiting to be cradled and getting instead dizzier and dizzier by the day, by the hour. He wanted things to change, but now it felt too much all at once. 

« First Eye.»

Asidera’s voice reached him from a very far away place, even if they were standing right next to him. The documents under Sun’s arms felt too warm in his hands and when he raised them, there were burnt signs on the paper, blackening a couple of words. The eyes of the Master were all on him, considering him with a calculating gaze. They weren’t exactly judging him, but there was something in their eyes that felt jarring on his skin. 

« Sorry,» Sun said, moving the documents away from his reach, « don’t know where my head is at these days.»

« The meeting with Moon shook more than our minds, First Eye,» Moravi said, reassuringly. « Our whole routine seems...» and she searched for the right word. 

« Sloppy.»

Sun looked over to Elrena: she was sitting rather messily onto the cushion, no control over her limbs whatsoever and an expression that seemed to say she wanted to be anywhere but there in that moment. Lea felt close to that emotion, considering how unfocused he was feeling even in that moment - not a novelty for anyone present, but still. 

« We still have a job to do,» Asidera interrupted, standing tall next to Sun, offering yet another parchment that needed his approval. Sun sighed at the sight, but raised no complaint - Asidera’s fiery look made sure of that. « Moon might be gone, but our responsibilities still stand. Now more than ever, it’s important to stay focus.» With a tap of their finger under his chin, Lea’s head shot up, eyes going forward. « And to keep our heads high for the crown.»

« I find it kinda hard to read like this, no offence.»

Asidera sighed out a long, exasperated sound, crossing their arms behind their back once again.

The knock on the door was a welcoming sound to hear, for both Sun and his whole Circle alike, given the plain relief depicted on their faces. It was Leni. 

« Windriser is here, First Eye-»

Sun couldn’t hide the confusion in his expression. « Since when do we announce my son?»

« And the Rays from Semna, Sabai and-» A moment of silence that just announced storm. « And Meridiana.»

_ Sili.  _

Sun was sure everybody in the room heard Asidera breathing through his nose and exhaling briefly after. Somehow, even without any words necessary, it was a mutual feeling. When Lea tried to run a hand through his hair, Asidera’s gaze found a way to stop him without saying anything at all. Sun lowered his hand, clearing his throat. 

« Let them in,» and got up to greet them. Elrena groaned loudly when she had to get up as well, meaning that she had to regain control once more over her limbs. 

To no one’s surprise, Sili was the first one to walk in, even before his own Designated Son, who had decided to stay behind to let the three Rays walk first. The two satchels Roxas was bringing with him weren’t the only thing that caught his attention (even though it was self explanatory why he did take that long to come back): among the three Rays, Sili was the only one whose clothes were more telling than any words could do - the straight, long jacket, the trousers. Her hair was all neatly tied up, forming a complex shape behind her head. She wore no jewels and in the middle of her face, Sili had drawn one thin, red line. 

Dressed as a general ready to march. 

Soldiers used to receive that kind of marking when they returned from the war. The long red line that divided two distinctive existences, what they left behind for somebody else’s glory. The sight made Sun’s blood boil, turn into acid. Lea couldn’t remember tracing people’s face with paint, from their forehead all the way down to their chins, but he  _ knew _ . Sun could see the reminder of worse days. Elrena was looking at Sili like she was a dream coming to life, her aspirations and desires walking down the room as if it was nothing. 

« Sili,» Sun said, managing to keep his voice even and controlled. He didn’t want to give her that as well. She was already causing enough stir: no need to show she had been able to struck a nerve in him. 

« What’s the meaning of this?» On the contrary, Asidera had never had enough patience for anybody’s game. 

« Answering to the king’s call,» Sun pretended he just didn’t hear the way Sili bit into the word “king”, like it was an unpleasant bone she didn’t want to much on anymore. « After all, it is only fair I come asking for advice after the passage of our new… friend.» Another shard of glass spat out. 

« You stormed in here looking like that, there’s nothing fair in this, Sili.»

Sun raised his hand, saccharine smile on his lips - close to honey and yet none of that genuine sweetness, feeling more rancid by the second. I’m sure Sili doesn’t mean any harm. « Honouring our old ways is important to me as well, my Ray.»

Sili’s lips pulled just slightly at the corner: a smile or a spasm, Sun couldn’t tell. She was the last one to sit down, eyes still on Sun like he was some fixed star in the sky. From his part, aside from the initial anger that still lingered in the back of his mind, Sun didn’t feel that threatened. She was wearing a uniform but that didn’t mean a flame had to spark. 

After all, Lea knew fire. Maybe it was the only thing he truly knew about. And Sili was nothing more than the flame of a cigarillo. 

Windriser cut through his thoughts, putting the satchels onto the table. 

« Brought more gifts?» Sun asked, eyeing the parchments popping out from the corner of the bag.  _ Great, more paper.  _

« You wish, » the boy replied, placing the other satchel on the table, followed by a loud thud. « Moon gave me these for your Masters.»

« The documents we needed, » precised the High Architect, stretching her arms forward. Windriser pushed the bag forward and the woman caught it between her arms with the same hunger of a vulture - she had that kind of avid look as well. « The Librarian will be so happy to see these.»

« Even? Happy? That guy is a mummy,» and before he could add anything else, the elbow he received in his side from Asidera was enough proof he needed to think twice before saying something like that again. Especially if they were so close to him. 

« Moon also asked if you know what to ask for.»

Sun looked at his son for a while, head buzzing. This wasn’t the first time he heard that question. Maybe Moon was just a cryptic guy that liked to speak in riddles and was just messing with him. Maybe that was part of the same legends he heard over and over again about him. But the dilemma still stood: he had no idea what he was talking about. 

« Did he-» Sun started saying, eyeing for the briefest moment Asidera, as if they could give him a hand. They looked as puzzled as anyone else in the room. « Did he tell you what he meant?»

Windriser shrugged. « Just asked if you know what to ask for.»

Sun couldn’t help but feel more confused than before. He didn’t know what to ask for: whatever he wanted, he had already gotten it just a week before upon seeing him walking down his street, roaming his halls. Even when Asidera averted their attention to other matters, Sun kept thinking about it, focus coming and going and still, somehow, directing itself toward Moon. He absently touched the palm of his hand, fingertips roaming up and up again. It didn’t even feel lukewarm to the touch. 

« So, First Eye, you came up with an agreement with the Silver Light.» Sili halted every other conversation, as if everything else was fickle to her, nothing more than a nuisance. She didn’t saying anything else, but she looked like she was waiting answers. 

Sun and Asidera turned their eyes toward Roxas: surprisingly enough, he looked apologetic, eyes going from one to the other before focusing on a particular point on the table. 

« She asked something specific,» he said, rolling a short strand of hair between his finger, « I couldn’t lie.»

« I asked him what I will ask you: you wanted to help Moon, so that means you offered him something. What was that?»

« This is a conversation for later,» Asidera said, « right now, our priority is trying to understand the effects-»

« This is not a conversation for later, Master of Star.» Sili’s voice was as sharp as a knife: it cut the air with such a clarity that Sun entirely stopped moving, hand wrapped around his own glass and eyes focused on her. He wasn’t exactly getting annoyed, but for sure her words were toeing the line of annoyance, making him more attentive to her next sentence, her next shot of poison. 

« What do you want me to say, Ray of Meridiana?» Sun asked. The glass in his hand felt off, like its temperature wasn’t right. But again, no temperature ever felt right to Lea. 

« Explain to me what’s the next course of action. Tell me what I should say to my people.»

« Moon is in need of our help right now. We agreed on giving him a small portion of our stock together with a loan to help him getting on the market for any kind of importation. When he will be able to stand on his own legs once again and the crisis is averted, he will give us everything back.»

Sili’s eyes turned into acid. It dripped everywhere and the red line on her face only made it worse, looking more like a malicious intent than a past reminder. « Who’s that “we” that agreed?»

« Stop it, Sili,» spoke the Ray from Sabai, an old woman who seemed as tired as anyone else with these kind of insinuations (except for Windriser: he just looked like he could have some fun with this kind of dramatic play). Sun had always been fond of Nike, an old woman who rarely spoke and even when she did, her answers were always meant to be short, but precise. A kind of introverted spirit and hard to approach sometimes, but Sun found her nice nonetheless. He wasn’t exactly surprised of finding himself to be right. « Moon is an ally no more. If First Eye’s decided to lend him a hand, we have to follow suit.»

« I didn’t receive news our monarchy had turned into dictatorship.»

When Nike went to speak once again, Sun kindly stopped her. « Why don’t you express your concerns, Sili? That way, I can help you with any doubt you might have. We can discuss it together. You’re my Ray: I value your opinion.»

Sili turned toward him like his kindness was salt on an open wound. « You know I trust you, First Eye-»

On his side, even with her words filling his ears, Sun heard it: the snap of Windriser’s jaw, the tight closing of his teeth around the lie. Asidera too noticed it, shooting him a sideway look. 

« But you took a decision without consulting with the Rays first. You made him a promise you don’t even know if you can keep in the first place.»

« I know what I can or cannot promise, Sili. Even if it doesn’t look like it, I read your reports and I discuss the results with the Circle.»

« Have you asked your Rays nonetheless?» Sili kept pressing. « Can we really help?»

« Sounds like this is not a matter of “can”,» Roxas said, turning his head toward the Ray, « but more a matter of will.»

« Maybe so, Windriser, but I don’t think you have a province to watch over. Or any other kind of responsibility that is.»

«  _ Careful _ , Sili,» Sun felt the prickle turning into something more, eating his skin, heating up fabrics. He put down the glass before anything else happened, contents already softly bubbling. « I gave you enough rope. Don’t wrap it around your neck.»

Sili watched him with something that Sun couldn’t exactly give a definition to: it was a mixture of anger, disappointment, but there was also a kind of fierceness that only mothers show. Strangely enough, Sun could understand. The only difference was that Sun couldn’t give in so easily to such emotions, not with the whole Circle, not while the crown still weighted on his head. As much as Sili could understand the weight of ruling, she would have never been able to understand that a blessing could wrap itself in as much gold as possible and still feel like a curse. 

_ Let me be selfish. Just this one, let me be selfish.  _

« You accepted me as a Ray, First Eye,» Sili said, words slow but steady. « You’re the one that three years ago kissed me on the cheek and gave me your blessing for the second time. I made an oath in front of you to protect Meridiana and its people, to be fair and just. So why are you condemning me for doing my job?»

Sun lowered his gaze toward the table. The fire under his skin had turned in nothing more than a buzzing, a prickle. Now there was something else - similar to shame but not quite. Sili was telling the truth: he had given her his blessing once, twice. He was there when he heard her oath. He had offered her flowers and wished her to be just. And now that she was being all those things and more, Lea accepted her words as a knife through the skin. Somehow, through the council, his heart had moved from his chest on his sleeve for anyone to see. 

The frustration was plain: Asidera themselves slightly moved from the side, as if his body temperature had started to get at them - there was a droplet of sweat rolling down their temple, one that Asidera caught with the tip of their finger with a grace that Sun envied them. On the contrary, Windriser was still regarding Sili as if he was waiting for her to spill more lies, another little thing to munch on. The shift of temperature didn’t bother him, seemed like it didn’t affect him in the slightest. 

« I understand your fears,» Sun said after a long pause, control over his thoughts regained once more, « there’s no one that can understand those feelings more than me. But that is why I decided to help Moon. I cannot leave him behind now.»

« Your duty is toward your own people: those you swore to protect and to look after. Meridiana, Sabai, Semna, they are all under your protection. We’re your eyes and your arms and your judgement. Do you have to throw everything away for someone we know nothing about? A man who hides his true self who says he won’t do the same with his own intents?»

« He’s a man with people to protect as well, Sili,» Asidera said, talking way faster than it was wise: Sili’s words had struck a nerve. Sun swallowed the spark down. 

« Should I care about a world that has closed everything to us since ever? Should I care about a man shrouded in dark clothes and who brings bad omens on his skin?» Sili smiled for a moment, a vicious thing. « Should I care about a man, I ask?»

Windriser chuckled at that despite himself, but still said nothing on the matter. He was interested in the conversation, but only because of the whole fire that was stirring under. 

« Sili, you don’t have to agree to anything,» Lea said, biting his tongue from saying anything else. « You’re right, this is not autocracy. I was not born to serve this purpose. Yet, I still will bring forward my plan so,» Sun directed for a moment his gaze toward the other two Rays, « my mind is set. What about yours?»

Nike didn’t waver, didn’t hesitate for a single instant. She tapped the golden drop under her eye. « I’m following you, First Eye. If you think this is the right thing to do, Sabai will be with you.»

« And so will Semna, » added the other, nodding his head toward Sun before returning with his eyes to Sili. 

Sun watched her with an emotion he didn’t have a name for but felt familiar anyway. And Sili looked nothing like he remembered, as if centuries passed between them - dressed as a general, angry and ready to do anything she could to bring forward the task she had been assigned from his people twice. Sun felt a moment of connection between them, despite the spark and the flames and the poisonous smoke. It took them a fire to actually understand each other. 

Sun sighed, feeling like smoke was coming out of his mouth together with all the tension bottled up inside. He slightly moved his head to the side. 

« Leave us,» Lea turned toward the whole table. « All of you. I need to speak with Sili alone.»

Sun couldn’t tell if the relief on their faces on leaving the room was because of the rising temperature or the tense atmosphere between the king and the Ray - or a mix of both things. Asidera followed the order without uttering a single word. On the contrary, Windriser stayed for a long while, even after everyone had left, eyes Sili in that wicked way that reminded Sun of the very few times he had seen his son’s true form - the unblinking gaze, the tightness in his shoulders. 

« Roxas,» Sun said, not even moving his gaze toward him, « listen to your father.»

Windriser said nothing, turning toward him as if his words had no weight on him. And yet, as slowly, he got up and walked away from the meeting. Sili didn’t even acknowledge him. 

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Sun let out a long sigh. He was tired, mind buzzing. And still, Sili was there, unmoving and silent. Usually, Sun had the whole Circle around him when talking to a Ray. Now that he was alone, Sun was even more aware on how quickly the things had changed. He had expected a harsh reaction, but Lea couldn’t have predicted the whole outcome. He couldn’t have predicted the uniform, the line, the weight of Sili’s gaze weighing on him in tons.

When Lea went to sit down next to her with the jug of wine and two glasses, Sili still hadn’t relaxed, shoulders tight and back as taut as a string. She wasn’t scared: it was just pure, unbridled rage. Still, when he went to pour the wine for her as well, Sili had a spasm forward, as if her hand was ready to grasp his to stop him before catching herself in time. Sun smiled at that: some habits were harder to break, no matter the anger. 

« I know you don’t believe me,» Lea said, sliding toward her the glass. He went to take a sip from his own cup. Sili didn’t even go to grasp her own glass. « But I really think what I told you before: there’s no one here that understands best your feelings.»

« Then why are you treating me like I’m the villain here?»

« I’m not,» but Sun knew that wasn’t true. He saw how the others looked at her and he also was aware that the reason he felt like blowing up was because of frustration; frustration that she built up, even if her words might ring true to anybody else tasked with the same duty as her. How could she hold her responsible for a behaviour he would have assumed as well, had the situation been different? And Sili was aware of his thoughts too, otherwise she wouldn’t look at him like that. 

Like she knew. 

« You’re treating me like I don’t know what I’m doing,» and Lea wilfully ignored the sarcasm written on her face, « but I do, surprisingly enough. Moon had never had any friends. Why should he go on alone when he can have us?»

« And why should we help him when he’s never done anything for you?»

Sun had no words to offer: everything he wanted to tell her was coming from a place of selfishness, but Lea had been instructed by someone far more powerful than him, with a greater design, that he couldn’t afford to think for himself, to crave and desire things for him and only him, not with that kind of weight on top of his head. Not when he had to account for his son, his Circle, his people. 

But what if this time was different? What if, for the briefest of times, he grasped something between his hands and cradled it close without sharing?

Sun couldn’t tell her something like that, especially when she already felt on the foot of war and was worried for her own people. But what else could he tell her? Pure desire to help somebody else aside from his people? It was a half truth, not nearly enough. He wanted a friend, even with all those people around him, even with that gold and rubies and people who loved him and cherish him… Lea wanted more, wanted to be selfish in his craving. 

« You know what I told Roxas when Moon arrived here?» 

Sili remained silent. 

« I told him that that day would be the first time I’d see an entity and I wouldn’t stare back at my own eyes. I would talk and I wouldn’t hear my own voice replying. And,» Sun searched for the right words in a sip of his wine, « I wonder if Moon feels the same now.» 

Sili didn’t say anything again. She didn’t even go for her own glass. 

« I’m searching for a friendship with Moon, yes, and that’s why I’m helping him. And at the same time, I understand what’s he going through right now. When my people are suffering, I know there are people on my side. Moon doesn’t have that kind of privilege. And you understand that as well: we all remember the hoops you had to go through the first time you wanted to become a Ray.» 

« You vouched for me that time,» Sili drew a line around the rim of the glass. It didn’t make a single sound. 

« Yes,» Sun nodded, « I did. I saw something and you and, turns out, I was right once again. Yes, Sili, even if you got elected for a second time and you didn’t want that.»

« I should hold you responsible for that.»

« By all means, do it,» he laughed for a moment before returning serious once more. « But please, think about what I told you.»

Sili’s smile, that little, taut thing that played at the corner of her lips, died, replaced by something harder. Her gaze was fixed on the glass in front of her, still untouched.

« You’re asking me to give something to someone I don’t trust. Putting everything on the line for wishful thinking. You may risk it, First Eye, but not everyone has that privilege.» Sili took the glass and gulped down the content as if it was water. When she was done, she cleaned the corners of her lips with her fingertip and rose up. « I received these drops for a reason, First Eye. I received a crown of my own, you gave it to me, and for this, everything I will do will be done for the wellbeing of my people. So no, First Eye: Meridiana will not follow you in this.»

Something in Lea’s jaw moved very slightly, a spasm that he hoped Sili hadn’t noticed. 

« You had your answer all along,» and to make his point clear, he looked down at her uniform once more, at the red line drawn onto his face. 

Sili remained unmovable. 

« Remember, First Eye: you were the first one to gaze upon the world, you were the first thing we saw. We learned to keep our eyes fixed on you.»

Lea didn’t say anything. What could he possibly say when Sili’s words rang true in more ways than one? He was born with eyes branded onto his skin. Still, there was something that ate him alive anytime he raised his eyes onto her. 

Sili walked away, one hand already on the handle.

« One last thing before you leave, Sili,» Sun said, eyes onto the glass just to avoid looking at her face once again when she turned around. That annoying prickle was back once again, had to drum his fingers onto the table to focus on something else that wasn't the way his blood was boiling once again, the flame burning the tip of his tongue. « As I said, I'm leaving you plenty of rope. I value and I cherish you, whether you trust my words or not.»

Sili remained silent at that. Luckily enough, because Sun didn't trust himself in that moment, what kind of venom would he be able to spit out in that moment. He raised his eyes toward her. 

« But don't you show yourself at my court with that line on your face ever again.»

Sili remained perfectly still under his scrutiny. And then slowly, she threw the dice. 

« Or what, First Eye?»

It was that arrogance, that challenge into her voice, the need to prove something to someone as if there was a crowd around them. Lea felt the cracking on skin right under his ear, a soft crackling that made him instantly aware of how ugly things could turn. He didn't want that, not because of Sili. Not because of that need to show she was stronger than people gave her credit for. 

_I know fire. _

Sun breathed through his nose was, clasping the small space under his ear, feeling the cracks of the skin, the open ridges, the warmth underneath calling to him as a siren's song. 

« Don't test me, Sili.» He didn't want to sound pleading and yet he could feel it: the prayer, the need to ask instead of ordering. Sun wasn't that kind of king, he didn't want to go back to be that kind of king. It was another time, another lifetime. « You have nothing to prove to me or anyone else. You may see this as a favour I'm asking you.»

« Which one? Not testing you or this?» And she pointed at the line on her face. 

Sun bit his bottom lip for a moment, hard enough to clear his head.« Not testing me would be a favour you do to yourself, trust me. You not coming back here with that thing on your face ever again... _that_ is an order, Sili of Meridiana.» And with that, the conversation was spent. Sun had nothing else to offer her. 

Sili left the room without another word, nor a glance was spared for him. Asidera and Windriser were the only ones waiting outside in the hall. Sun remained with his face fixed onto the other wall, pressing his hand onto the skin as if he could will the cracks under his ear to recede. They would, in due time, but right now that line kept mocking him in his mind. 

« I guess it was a no,» Roxas said, collapsing on the first cushion available, a seat away from his father; his eyes went to the hand placed under his ear, not saying a single word.

« Your guess is correct,» Lea replied, gulping the last of the content with the other hand and placing the goblet down with too much force. 

« Sili had always been particularly protective of Meridiana. The slightest shift could set her off,» Asidera commented, sitting closer to Sun as if the temperature was nothing to them. Their clothes did not make a sound when they went to kneel, not even adjusting their position afterward. Sun could only wish to have that kind of grace. 

Windriser shrugged. « Yes, but I didn’t expect her to march in here in a uniform. Have you seen the line on her face?»

Asidera scoffed. « Everybody saw it.»

« Maybe she was trying to tell you something.»

« What, that she wants to march against me?» Lea joked, but there was something in the pit of his stomach that told him that, if he wasn’t careful enough, she could’ve easily tried. He wasn’t ready for a war - not again. That was one thing he couldn’t scour out of his mind, no matter how many times he changed. 

« Don’t be absurd, both of you,» Asidera jumped in,« Sili is not foolish. She’s passionate for sure, toeing the line with impudence, but she’s not reckless. The rest of the provinces would march against her as well, if that was the case.»

« Meridiana was a temible war machine once. We don’t know how things can turn out to be with someone as Sili in charge.»

« Just because someone walked here in a uniform doesn’t mean one is ready to march.»

« Lea uses coins to communicate the country’s status. In uniform if a storm is coming, dressed as a commoner in time of peace. Why is this any different?»

« It is different,» Asidera said, « time is different. Your own father is not the same man he was once. As I do, as you do.»

« We’re fae, Asidera.» There was nothing biting in that reply, but Sun heard something in the undertone of his voice: the tragic humour, the silent acceptance of one’s condition. « If there’s something that changes while staying exactly the same is us. We wear different faces, but it’s still us. Entities work exactly the same.»

« I don’t want to be the Sun I once was. This is a conscious decision.» 

Lea was tired of the discussion, a ring of dull pain around his head that threatened to worsen the more he remained stuck in the conversation. The ridges under his ear had started to subdue, the warmth underneath nothing more than a dying fire. They were both right in their positions: a dress didn’t hold much meaning inside a meeting like that, with a deal like the Balance behind: and yet, Sun couldn’t ignore the red line on her face, something so meticulously planned. She didn’t want to go to war, of course, Sun was sure enough of that: but Sili was fierce. 

It was her way to say “I will do everything I can to protect my city”. He didn’t have the strength to contest her that kind of violence, that kind of protective arrogance. And yet, the more he thought about that jacket, that whole uniform, the more his throat closed up around anger, frustration, and thousand more emotion that his heart couldn’t exactly pick apart. 

Leni saved him once again, head picking in. 

« First Eye,» she said in a hushed voice, as if she was afraid of bothering with her sole presence. Sun had never been more relieved in seeing her. « The Mask requires your attention.»

Sun got up immediately, relief plain on his features. 

« Asidera, with me,» he said, walking out, Roxas, tell the Rays I’m going to talk with them later. Also, bring the documents to Paperman.»

« You know Ienzo will probably kill him just to get his hands on the document, right?»

« I’ll pray for him really hard, then,» and he walked away way without hearing from him another word. 

The call from Moon was a pleasant surprise that loosened up the pain around his head - and Asidera’s silence during the whole walk was another blessing Sun didn’t expect to receive. He didn’t expect to relax that much when he put on the Mask, to actually feel his shoulders loosening up, deflating. Putting on the Mask felt like a gift from someone higher than him. 

« Celestial,» Sun said, smiling despite everything. 

« I hope I’m not calling you at a bad time, First Eye,» Moon’s voice said on the other side, voice cutting through his thoughts as neatly as ever. 

« Of course not,» as if there could ever be a time Moon could bother him, but that Sun didn’t say. Is everything alright?»

« I wanted to know if your son arrived home safe and sound. I gave him some of our documents.»

The thought Moon had called him to ask if his son was alright somehow warmed him up. He was already warm and yet Sun felt another kind of warmth, one that grasps the sole of your feet, the roots of your hair, colour your cheek pink. It felt nice. It was another kind of shift in temperature. 

« He did,» Sun replied. « I left the documents with Paperm- the Librarian.» 

Moon made a sound in the back of his throat. He hoped that didn’t sign the end of their conversation. Sun needed this breath of air, this clarity of mind after what just occurred. The chance to cast away Sili and the whole Circle and his thousand tasks for five minutes conversation, just to feel something more  _ than this _ . 

« I wanted to thank you,» Moon said after a long pause. « For everything you’ve done.» It sounded like Moon was struggling to get the words out, heavy on his tongue. 

« I’m just glad you-» Asidera’s presence was something Sun was able to feel on his skin as if their eyes, for the very first time, had a weight on his own skin. Now that the conversation was going, Sun wished he could ask Asidera to leave. There was nothing to hide, there was nothing they couldn’t hear, and yet, Sun wanted a conversation that was just… for himself. He wanted it to be a secret and he didn’t even know why. « you are well,» and those weren’t the words he wanted to say. But again, when they were ever?

« We’ll work on the documents for the moment,» Sun added after another silence from Moon. « We will probably need other informations from your scholar as well, of course.» 

« You may ask,» Moon remained in silence for a brief moment, « if, of course, you know what you’re asking for.»

Sun’s head starting spinning once more. He had already asked and Moon had already answered - and yet, to him, that didn’t sound like that was the right answer. There was something in the back of his mind that kept nagging him, but he couldn’t understand what that was. Always out of reach, always out of his grasp.

« I-» he stumbled for words. « I don’t know? I will have to ask the Masters first.»

Moon chuckled. It was another, unexpected sound that made Sun even more aware of how different things were and how fast things were changing. « Of course, First Eye.» After that, Lea heard only quiet. He returned a few seconds later. « My daughter asks me if you could say hi to your son from her. I think she’s growing fond of him.»

Sun tried his best not to laugh out loud at the soft “ _ ouch _ !” he heard soon after: at least, kids were all the same. I’m just glad he didn’t cause any trouble to you both. He’s a handful.»

« I think he’s a good kid.»

« Remains a handful all the same.»

« I presume Windriser is not present.»

Lea let out a hearty laughter. « You’re right, I don’t think I would have been able to say something like that with him here.»

Moon offered a complicit chuckle, but nothing more than that. That moment of silence afterward didn’t seem as heavy as before. 

« Have a good day, First Eye.»

Sun felt a prickle of sadness in not being able to hold the conversation longer. But in his state, in the way his mind was wrapped up and the status of things in Moon’s world, Sun didn’t feel right in trying to keep him there for his own fun. He had to accept the time he had been offered.

« You too, Silver Light.» Lea bit his tongue. « Night. I meant night.»

« I know what you meant,» and his brief laugh was the last thing Sun heard. 

Even more surprisingly was finding Asidera smiling: it was the kind of smile that hide in the corner of the lips and their eyes were going over Sun with something that looked like satisfaction. 

« It went rather well, I presume,» they said. « It’s even more amazing you didn’t jest to have more time.»

Sun scoffed, placing the Mask in its chest. Their words rang true, but still Lea didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. « Who did you take me for? I know when-»

Asidera returned serious in a matter of seconds. « You know that’s not true.»

Sun got up from his spot. « Alright, maybe you’re right, but things are going so much better now. He sounds more… relaxed?»

« We’re helping his people. Of course his mind is more at ease.»

« Yes, but I think that was even before. Since I received his lock, Moon seems more reachable. Yes, I mean, Roxas had to push a little bit, but that’s just a tiny detail. This was actually the very first time he called me. And he just wanted to thank me. Can you believe how fast things are changing?»

Sun turned around to face them, a big smile on his lips. He didn’t even care if his hands would make a mess of his hair, that was such a novelty and he wanted to enjoy this moment as much as he could. 

Somewhere along the way, Asidera’s smile had grown in something dangerous: their lips had turned into a tight line and their shoulders had gone completely rigid, tight with tension. Sun couldn’t help but think Asidera looked like they were ready to jump him. 

« You alright there?»

« Lock.» Asidera spat the word out, blinking once, twice as if their eyes weren’t working right. « You said you received a lock.»

_ Fuck.  _

« Locket.» Lea laughed.« Asi, are you tired? You really need a vacation, always working hard. Or hardly working, am I right?» He couldn’t even trust his own laughter, feeling more like nail onto a plate. It felt jarring and false, but he needed to get out of the situation.

« You told me,» Asidera said, slowly rising from their seat, « it was a charm.»

_ Shit fuck.  _

« Who? Me?» She stumbled for more words just to end up scoffing. « You got it all wrong, perhaps you heard wrong. Age is getting to you too, uh?»

« First Eye, you will tell me the truth and you will tell me now.»

« The truth? I told you, it was a-»

« A lie, exactly.» 

Sun didn’t dare to breathe for a long while. How could he take himself out of a situation he created with his own hands because he was so stupid he couldn’t even create a decent lie? With Roxas unable to feed on his lies, for Lea had been almost too easy lie here and there but now it was Asidera who was confronting him, who had a memory of steel and the will of a person on a mission. That mission was making Lea’s life a living hell, but that was another point. 

« Fine,» and before Sun had any chance to say something (probably another half-assed lie), Asidera sprinted out of the room. 

One would think the Master of Star had the physique of a scholar or someone who was keen to stay all day trapped inside four walls and thus not used to put particular effort on strengthen their body aside their mind. Well, one would be surprised, because Asidera was on a mission and they had no time to lose if it was to prove a point. For Sun, it took him quite a while to understand what was his Master’s aim and longer still to put himself in motion after regaining focus. Turns out, Lea was not the athletic type. 

By the time he reached the room, Asidera had already found the box but fortunately they made no movement as to open it - Lea could feel his heart thumping in his throat, legs burning for the (slightest) effort. 

« First Eye, you either tell me yourself or I will open the box myself.» Their voice wasn’t even fatigued. 

« Asi,» Sun groaned, closing the door behind him. No need for a crowd, especially right not that he was wheezing his lungs out, « I swear, there’s a locket inside.»

« So, you won’t mind if I check,» and opened the box the same, exact moment Sun cried out for them not to do it. But the tiny chest was already spilling out its secrets and Asidera looked at its content like they were ready to kill somebody on sight for it. It only happened to be Sun that somebody. 

« I told you, it was nothing, it’s-»

Sun regretted speaking the instant Asidera turned toward him, a mask of rage on their features. The smile they offered him minutes before was a long, distant memory. 

«  _ Nothing? _ »

Sun fumbled for words. It was nothing more than a lock of hair: it held no meaning, nor value; the stardust that it left on the fingers was meant to shed away in a couple of minutes; the hair didn’t even feel cold, nor lukewarm. And yet, Sun felt like he had to keep that as a secret. The only thing he could keep for himself and nobody would take it away from him.

Lea sighed. « It was selfish, I know, I should’ve told you, but it’s literally just a lock of hair. Touch it, it’s just-»

Asidera scowled. There was a hint of hurt in their eyes, like they were just starting to realize that was a secret. A thing he kept away from them and the whole rest. « I’m not allowed to touch it.» 

« It’s… it’s hair, I don’t think it’s even dirty. You know that’s not dandruff, right?»

That was another thing he instantly regretted saying. 

« This is not the time for games, First Eye,» Asidera closed the distance between them. Even if Sun was an entity, Asidera’s scrutiny made Lea feel small, like a child being chastised by his own parents. They still kept that wretched box open and now that its content was open to everybody’s eyes to see it only seemed like a stupid thing to keep as a secret. Why would he keep something secret from Asidera anyway? They’ve always been there for him, through thick and thin, and now that there was a secret, such a  _ stupid _ secret, it felt like an ocean had opened up between them. 

_ I just wanted something for me. Only for me.  _

« Do you know what this is?» Asidera asked with a kind of urgency Sun just couldn’t understand. 

« … hair?»

« Don’t-» Asidera breathed through their nose once, as to settle themselves. Lea thought it a bad time to offer them a vacation, considering the tiny vein pulsing on their temple, but maybe that was what they needed. He bit his tongue anyway. 

« Fine, it was a stupid secret to keep, I’m sorry. I just--» Lea fumbled with words, running a hand through his red hair, messing it all up. « I just wanted-- I don’t know what I wanted--»

« It’s a wish, First Eye,» Asidera burst out, « Moon has granted you a wish.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "heaven" // pvris


	18. but in all chaos there is calculation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> schedule all over the place even during quarantine, i hope you are all safe and well. sorry for the small update, but i hope you'll enjoy it all the same!

Windriser came storming through their routine with the force of a tempest, basically running toward the garden with glinting eyes and a foolish, bad masked grin. Namine didn’t even question him, dragged away from the day's tasks with his arm wrapped around her own. 

《 You’re in a mood today,》 she said at some point, jumping with him three steps down to the clearing, his pace well past a mere stroll in the garden. He seemed eager to tell her something, but his mouth kept forming around the words just to let out what sounded like gibberish before returning to his silence. Namine knew him well enough to know that Roxas was brimming with want to tell her everything, but was waiting for something she didn’t fully understand just yet. 

Kairi was perched on a ladder next to the well, an old, battered thing that was there for purely aesthetic reason rather than functionality. She was humming a song before she stopping altogether, an exasperated sound coming out of her mouth well before Roxas had the time to approach her and tell her anything at all. 

《 Roro, I swear to the Void, if you’re here to challenge me again-》

《 Trust me, you’ll want to hear this,》 he said right away, so giddy about the news Namine was sure he was standing few inches away from the ground, floating with the sheer force of his enthusiasm. Kairi jerked her head down, keeping her hands steady on the side of the ladder. She was trying to detect a trick that wasn’t there, eyes passing from the boy to her sister - who could offer her nothing but a shrug of her shoulders.

She went down the ladder. 《 Fine, but it better be good. And short, I still have plenty to do.》

Windriser wrapped his other arm around her own, staying right in the middle between the two girls. The effects of the flowers they were used to wear around had since lost his effect on him. 《 You’ll never guess what I just heard.》

《 Roxas, one day this trick will turn against you,》 Namine told him, turning her head toward him as if to share a secret. 

《 No, let him, I wanna know now,》 Kairi said suddenly, eyes sparking with renowned interest. Knowing someone had done something they shouldn’t have always peaked her interest, no matter what. Windriser was just the closest source of that kind of interest, knowing how curious his nature was. 

Roxas shrugged, turning toward Namine once again. 《 See? Someone here is not utterly boring sometimes,》 and bumped his fist with Kairi, exchanging a knowing look. 

Namine hated that kind of complicity between them: it wasn’t mere jealousy, for Kairi was her sister and there was no way that kind of affection could be replaced. It was just utter ignorance about what kind of relationship they had: one day they would whisper each other’s secrets like the best of friends, and the next minute they would be at each other’s throat, bruising all over and faces half turned. Maybe they liked that: the unknown certainty of what one moment could turn into. 

《 Com’on,》 Kairi tugged him, regaining his attention, 《 spill. We don’t have all day.》

《 You know Moon gave me a gift, right?》 and to prove his point, he drew away the pendant hanging around his neck. It caught the light prettily, casting a brief game of light before Roxas tucked the necklace under the collar once more. 

《 That is not a novelty,》 Kairi told him, unimpressed. 

《 Yes, but do you know what my father received?》

Namine shrugged. 《 A charm. The Master of Star told me. They seemed… surprised.》

《 Surprised? Asidera?》 Her sister interrupted, bending just enough for her sister to look at her. 《 Com’on, that one is not so easily impressed. Remember that time I made them a huge lilies statue and-》

Roxas clapped a couple of times, clearly irritated by the interruption. 《 Far from the point!》

《 Oh,  _ shut up _ , I was telling her-》

Namine felt a prickle of anger growing right under her ear, like something was tickling her. She sighed. 《Can you just tell us, I’ve already grown tired of you two.》

《 Yeah, exactly, let me talk!》

Kairi elbowed him in the side hard enough for Windrider to lose the rhythms of the pace and it was just a miracle or mayne the excitement of the news if Roxas didn't do anything in retaliation. The walk ended in a clearing where they could quietly stay without any other interruption - aside from the ones Kairi and Roxas created on their own. The sound of waves crashing onto the shore could lull Namine to sleep if she wasn’t careful enough. 

《 So, anyway, he gifted him a charm,》 Kairi said, crossing her legs and resting her elbows onto them, bending her back forward as if now she was eager to drink the secrets all up. 

《 Yes, and you should know what kind of lies I cannot feed on,》 Windriser said, mimicking her position and bending toward her. Namine rested her hands on her knees, trying to result as light as possible on the patch of green, as if her presence might disturb the soil. There was that kind of complicity again that might feel anyone else like an intrusion. 

《 You father's,》 Namine said. 《 You can’t feed on your father’s lie.》

《 Old news,》 Kairi huffed in annoyance, 《 you know we cannot feed on anything if it’s coming from other fae or entities.》 She stopped for a minute, resting her cheek on her palm. The thought seemed to struck her a minute delayed. 《 Oh Void, did  _ he _ lie?》

Namine jerked her head toward him. 《 He lied about the gift? Why would he do that?》

《 Maybe he was hiding something.》

Namine looked at her puzzled. 《 He’s the Sun. No shadow between him and the court.》

Roxas shrugged as the whole thing didn’t touch him in the slightest. 《 Well, it seems like he didn’t care.》

《 That’s far from the point, I bet you didn’t came all the way here just to tell us your father lied,》 Kairi stopped in her tracks, looking at the boy next to him like she could strangle him and was willing to, 《 I  _ hope _ .》

Roxas shook his head, a huge grin on his lips. 《 Guess what Moon gave him instead.》

Namine and Kairi exchanged a brief look before returning their attention to him. 

So he told them. 

*

《 A wish?》

Sun felt like any word coming from his mouth wasn’t making any sense whatsoever. He held in his hands the box Asidera had handed him back; on the contrary, his Master of Star was going back and forth in the room, pacing around with hands forcefully kept on their side so that they wouldn’t ran their fingers through the scarf on their head in a nervous gesture. They were dying to let out some steam and it was showing. 

《 How-》 Sun felt his throat closing up around the word, tongue impossibly dry now. He tried again. 《 Asidera, it’s just- I don’t-》

《 You kept a secret,》 Asidera burst out. It was that kind of silent anger that you can see in a person by looking at the edged lines onto their forehead, under the eyes, the tightness of the muscles. It was something way more subtle and, strangely enough, Lea found it scarier than any other reaction that might have come from them. 《 That is one thing we’ve always asked of you, Sun. No shadow cast between you and the court. And  _ this _ ! You kept this away from us.》

Sun sighed, unable to tell anything to uphold his case. It was true, he swore upon it many centuries before, way before his court had started counting hundreds of names and the streets became crowded with people and songs. Any secret was like a covered mine: you’ll never know when too much pressure would tick it off. Sun kept the secret knowing well that was just the start of a spark, thinking he could tame the fire. But now, with Asidera looking at him like that, Sun felt the taste of ash in his mouth. 

《 How could I know it would be this-》

《 You lied. If you lied about this,》 and they pointed at the lock of hair enclosed in his box, 《 that means that, deep down, you knew that was something to keep away from the others.》

《 I didn’t know why I did it, alright? I just… wanted something for me.》 And saying it out loud was even worse than he thought: for his whole existence, Sun had been used to anything for a purpose that would serve his people, his court, his Circle, his own son. But now he had no explanation for that single, dumb secret but pure desire of having something to call his own. 《 I thought about telling you,》 and that was another lie, but why keeping track at this point?, 《 but then I thought I could have this one. He gave this to me and- I don’t know, I thought it would be something to keep between me and him.》

《 A secret between entities.》

Sun shouldn’t have felt shame: he was King, he was the ruler, he had created that court. And yet, everything Asidera was saying rang true - a secret between a ruler and his own court was already something, but between two kings of opposite court it was a bomb ready to tick off at any given minute. 

《 Humans have secrets, First Eye,》 Asidera told him, sitting by the windowsill; now, with that kind of abandon, they looked even older than Sun remembered, like the years spent running behind Sun had finally caught up on them. Shame was eating him alive, less because of what he had kept from the court than seeing his own Master of Star reduced to that. Like they were tired of running. 《 I have secrets as well. But I’m fae, First Eye. I’m an ordinary fae whose job is keeping this place upright. I  _ can _ afford to have secrets in my private life, away from the court. But you don't have that privilege and you know the rules, you know the ways of the crown. A secret is another weight you don’t need.》

《 This was a harmless secret. It means nothing.》

《 It’s a wish,》 Asidera repeated, crossing one leg over the other and resting the hands on their lap, 《 it never meant _nothing_.》

Sun walked toward his own bed, sitting on the edge and studying the lock of hair in his box. It had started to weigh more somehow. 

《 You said you wanted something that was yours, truly yours,》 Asidera said after a long silence. 《 Isn’t this court enough? This land, the Rays, your son… everything was already yours, why wanting more if you already have everything in the palm of your hand?》

Asidera was speaking from a place of ignorance, even if every word they spoke were actually sane and true. From another perspective, Sun had everything and more, and if he wanted more he could’ve just asked and everything would have been served on a golden platter. But Asidera could see only the crown and the gold and not past the responsibilities and the way everything could weigh too much all of sudden and could topple over him in a second, crushing him. 

But that single gift felt like a lifeline, something to grasp on when the gold was starting to choke him and the brightness was starting to burn at his skin. Something that, strangely enough, in its oddness, spoke in a language that only Sun could understand and gave him solace. If there was a price to pay for that secret, Sun was willing to pay - but for that moment, he just craved that one single thing. 

_ I  _ want _ to be selfish.  _

《 I still don’t know what you mean.》 Sun said. 《 That this is a wish.》

Asidera got up - not suddenly as if their thoughts had suddenly became unbearable, but with the slowness of a person who’s firm in their intents and wants every movement to be a precise mirror of a just mind. 《 Come with me. And leave the box here.》

Despite their anger, Asidera proved once more to be a person with a resolve as firm as their own steps, calculated and precise in every way. They still saluted everyone who stumbled upon them, still answered any enquiries one may had, taking just the right amount of time for Lea to become restless, torturing the part of the open sleeve he could grasp on. They still said nothing to Sun, as if his sole presence was stunting the chance to have a quiet conversation. 

It was as if everything was normal even if Lea was keenly aware how things have fastly shifted in his hands. 

Apparently, whatever Asidera needed to tell him, had to be done in the library - Lea’s least favourite place for the sole reason of having to endure Paperman’s presence looming around. But this time, Paperman was nowhere to be found and neither the other scholars. The only person wandering around with a stack of parchments was Paperman’s son, Ienzo - and he didn’t look particularly happy about the whole thing either. 

《 Ienzo,》 Asidera called him, raising a hand as to ask him if he needed any help with his task. 

《 Hello, Master of Star,》 the boy replied, huffing away the tuft of hair in front of his eyes - with a poor result of it. Asidera grabbed a couple of documents anyway, offering him a comforting smile when Ienzo went to thank them. With less weight, Ienzo was even able to bow ever so slightly to salute Sun as well without risking to lose any slip of paper. 

《 Did Paperman take a vacation?》 Sun asked. 

《 My father is studying the documents Windriser has brought back from Moon’s kingdom. The Architect’s and Elrena are with him.》 Ienzo hid the pout behind the documents, displeasure evident in his features. 《 I wanted to read too, but my father told me to stay here in case someone needs something.》

《 I’m sure he’ll tell you everything when he comes back,》 Asidera offered him, walking toward the desk to put down the papers. Ienzo did as well, thanking him once again. 

《 So, what can I do for you today? Looking for something specific?》

Asidera told him. Sun was barely listening, trying to occupy his mind with excuses he could come up with to quiet down Asidera’s silent rage, but every word felt like it was already spent, every excuses had a deep lining of truth underneath. How could he express the desire without sounding like a dragon hoarding and hoarding until there was no space left to go, to breathe, to  _ think _ ? 

Lea was starting to sport a headache, a ring of fire around his head that felt closing in inch by inch. He pinched the arch of his nose. 

《 First Eye.》

《 Mh?》

Asidera was looking at him with something that once might have been worry, but Sun couldn’t be sure - not when it was clear anger was still flowing underneath. 

《 Come,》 and didn’t wait for him to reply, just started walking between the aisles and rounding the corner. Sun, albeit reluctantly, followed. The table where Asidera sat at was in a corner of the library, away from prying eyes and ears, close to an open window, the vines running all along the sides and up to the arch. It was a nice spot to read in, but Lea was barely functioning at this point, desiring nothing but to lay in the sunflower field and let the earth and the roots claim him for a while. 

He sat down in front of them. 《 Is this retaliation? I have to sit here in silence while you read through novels?》 Sun eyes for a moment the books resting next to Asidera’s elbow. 

They didn’t seem pleased with his comment. 《 This is barely the time for jokes, First Eye.》

《 Why are we here?》

  
《 You wanted answers,》 Asidera replied, 《 we’re here to get them.》   
  
Sun scoffed. 《 Because you think I didn’t come here to look for them, even Paperman had nothing for me.》   
  
《 What did Paperman tell you?》

  
Sun shrugged. 《 We only have fairytales here. Nothing valuable.》

Asidera looked at him like he was truly the dumbest man alive to be put on a throne, and yet they said nothing - the sigh they let out said plenty enough. 《 Haven’t you got  _ fairytales,  _ as you call them, for yourself, First Eye? I’m pretty sure we celebrate some of those old tales.》

《 There’s a difference between legends and tales.》   
Asidera raised an eyebrow. 《 You come from the ashes, First Eye. You let yourself waste away and turn yourself into rock until it’s time for you to melt away. You drag yourself to the ocean while shedding gold and your kid waits for you until you find yourself a form to be comfortable with. That’s a tale, First Eye.》   


《 It’s the story of my birth.》   
  
《 And if you go and tell it to any other person who’s not from your kingdom, they might think it’s the most wonderful and strangest fairytale, cute to tell the kids. Nothing valuable..》 Asidera eyed the book at their side. They took the first tome and started mindlessly flipping through the pages. 《 You think because it’s an old tale is not worthy of your attention because it hardly tells the truth. There's always a bit of truth if you look hard enough.》

《 Are we here for a lesson on philosophy or…?》   
  
《 This is not philosophy.》

Sun sighed, pinching once again the arch of his nose. 《 Asidera, just tell me what’s going on so I can go and lie down. This headache is killing me.》   
  
《 Read this.》 And offered him the book, tapping once on a particular passage. At the mere sight, Lea felt the grip of his headache becoming tighter around his skull, pressing on the soft spot close to the neck, at the centre of his forehead. He leaned forward to read out loud anyway, feeling more like a small kid in front of a unbearable teacher than a king sitting close to his Master. For a moment the words felt unfamiliar to his tongue, too heavy and too slippery all the same. 

He started reading from the passage Asidera pointed at. 

《 "So, that same night, the poetess dreamt of a tall, beautiful woman: her hair was a sea of stars and her face was hidden behind a mask with no eyes or nose, just an upside down smile who could have broke any woman’s heart in two. ‘Poetess,’ the woman said, ‘I heard your plea and I saw your sorrow. You may ask, if you know what you’re asking for.'》 Sun stopped in his tracks for a moment, brain suddenly ticking painfully as if his thoughts were needles stuck into his skull. Asidera didn’t say anything, but they made a gesture with the hand as to urge him forward. 《 "The poetess, moved by the kindness of the woman, wept and wept until there was no tears left to spend. ‘Grant me this one, single thing and you’ll never know a devotion as strong and firm as mine’. Then, the woman took the dagger in her hand and cut from her hair one tiny, star. In the poetess’ hands, it was nothing more than a lock of black hair. ‘Take this as proof of my promise to you. But remember, dear poetess, prayers are nothing but feeble things. Devotion is nothing if it doesn’t come from a place of resilience and truth. Prove to me your desire is as strong as your will and what you see before your eyes will turn into a wish. Then and only then, you may ask of me whatever you desire.’ And as she said that, the woman took the hand of the poetess and rested her mask on her palm: a pale imitation of a kiss she was not allowed to give."》

Sun felt his skin too tight around him, like his bones had just come bigger. Asidera was staring at him with their arms crossed. Lea didn’t know if they were expecting a comment or just waiting for him to finish to start with an angry lecture all over again. For the time being, Sun had nothing to offer them - what could he say in the first place after something like that? The feeling was the same as being ran down by a pack of wild chocobos in his own house. Nothing barely made any sense and yet, at the same time, everything clicked. 

《 Shit.》

Asidera looked at him like they were ready to smack him for real with one of those books in front of them. 

Lea stumbled for words. 《 Listen, I didn’t pray for anything, I didn’t ask him for-》

《 You helped Moon’s people,》 Asidera said, 《 you went on your way and just sent help. You welcomed his daughter in your court, you sent with her your own son and you asked nothing in return. Considering how dire Moon’s situation is, we now know you  _ saved _ Moon’s people. First Eye, that wish is a thank you gift.》

Sun blinked once. 《 Don’t you think that’s… a bit too much? Like, it’s a whole wish. I could ask for anything.》 

《 You can ask anything that is in his powers, First Eye.》

《 What if I asked for ten thousands lemon ca-》   
  
《 I’m this close to hit you with these books, First Eye, don’t test my already worn out patience like this.》

For a moment Sun thought long and hard about pulling the last of his rope, because maybe that would have signed the end of their conversation. But instead, Asidera let out a long sigh - they were not done with the conversation. 《 First Eye, your son told you something during the meeting. When he came back with Moon’s books.》   
  
《 That those weren’t gifts?》

《  _ First Eye. _ 》

《 Alright,》 he passed a finger on his brow, as to stall for the inevitable. 《 If I knew now what to ask for.》

《 And that is a question he already asked more than once, right?》

Sun hesitated for a moment: that was a secret already spent. No reason to lie. 《 Yes. The first time Roxas came back.》

Asidera opened up their arms, their way to say "I told you so”. Of course they were always right, but Sun hated that need to rub it in all the same - the fact that he would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed was another matter. The silence stretched for a while between them, the star drawn on the page felt like a joke now, a mockery and a reminder all the same.

《 I think I just made a mistake.》   
  
Asidera made a face at him. 《 Why, one could not possibly say.》   
  
《 Stop it with the sarcasm, I get it,》Sun crossed his arms. 《 What now?》

Asidera remained silent for a long while, lost in thoughts. 《 In the story, Moon has to be sure if the will of the poetess is strong enough. So she put her on a test: this tale said it was three riddles to solve; others, the heads of three different beasts. Another, three rare flowers. It’s very different depending on the story and on its location. But this is no matter.》

《 Why?》 Sun asked, furrowing his brows, estranged by the sudden turn. 《I should know what’s there to face, so I can-》

It weren’t Asidera words to stop him, but the way they started looking at him; like he was a madman who just started to say things that didn’t make much sense and was causing a whole scene. There was nothing accusing in their gaze, but there was something that, nonetheless, made Sun stopped in his tracks.

《 It’s no matter because you’re gonna refuse, First Eye.》

Sun stared at them, stunned. 

《 What would you ask anyway, First Eye? This wish works only if you truly know what to ask for. And, as things stand right now, this is matter that it’s best to get rid of as soon as possible.》 And as if the conversation was closed, Asidera got up from their seat. They smoothed the creases on the clothes and fixed their eyes upon him, as if waiting for him to get up as well. But Sun was frozen to the spot, feeling like suddenly someone had forced him to ingest stones. He was waiting for Asidera to laugh, but they did not. 《 I think you should go talk to Moon right now, First Eye.》

Sun opened up his mouth to speak, closing it up once just to do it again when he tried to speak once more. That was just one secret, _ it was his, _ and now everything was slipping away from his fingers like sand. Like stardust, clinging to the skin for just a moment before falling off. But Sun hadn’t come this far just to see it become stardust in front of his very eyes. 

But every word he wanted to say was swallowing him up as if they weighed tons, crushing him down, making his knee buckle and tremble. 

《 Yes,》 he said.  _ I don’t want this,  _ 《 I should probably talk to him.》 

To Asidera’s ears that must have sounded like sweet music after the chaos of the drums; and yet Sun felt choking around poison. 

The walk toward the room where the Mask was kept was a walk toward a death sentence. He had a wish and he didn’t even know. He had the chance to ask for anything to Moon and he blowed it because he hadn’t asked, he hadn’t talked and now everything was slipping away from his hands. Asidera was talking to him like the matter was already cast away from their mind, words wrapping around problems and duties and necessities and everything that went around the crown. 

Because that was Sun’s only task: sitting on a throne and listening and delivering for the sake of others. And that was it. He had chosen that life, the very first he had decided to be that flame that guided people home, when he cut his hair and offered ambers as lanterns to the first man. There were songs and poetry and books about that. He wasn’t supposed to throw out everything for his own selfishness, for the feeble desire to be seen by someone who was like him and nothing like him. 

Sun sat down in the room in silence, taking the Mask in his hand. It was nothing like the one Moon held in the story, but Sun wondered for a moment if that face that was staring back at him was even remotely similar to Moon’s. If his face was truly rounded, if his lips were this severe and his cheekbones that pronounced. 

_ It was just a wish. _ Sun thought, staring at the circle that covered half of the mask, an imitation of the veil he had been forced to wear.  _ It was nothing anyway.  _

《 First Eye.》

Sun raised his eyes toward his Master, hand stopping half-way from his face. He always had been pretty good at reading their expression, but now Sun found himself wondering what possible they could think of him. Would they think him desperate? Or just reckless and stupid?

《 I understand your feelings on this matter,》 they said. 《 Had my life been different, I would have you indulging into this. But it seems like someone had a different design for me.》

《 I know,》 Sun replied. 《 I wouldn’t hold it against you. It’s not your fault anyway. I should’ve been more honest.》 The words came automatically to his lips. 《 I’m sorry.》

《 I’m sorry, too. For everything else.》

It shouldn’t have hurt that way and yet Sun felt it like a blow to his stomach anyway. Putting the Mask on was an escape for any other word better left unsaid. 

Moon’s voice arrived to his ears a bit later than he expected. 

《 First Eye,》 Sun could feel the distant hint of a smile in his voice - or maybe it was wishful thinking. 《 Did you forget to tell me something again?》

Sun’s tongue twisted in his mouth. His hands shouldn’t have been this sweaty and yet Sun felt them humid against the fabric of his clothes. Lea couldn’t feel the shift in the temperature, but he was sure that something had changed beyond the Mask and it wasn’t Asidera’s fault for sure. 

《 Yes,》 he rasped, spilling out needles. 《 Yes, I wanted to tell you-》

_ I want this.  _

《 About your gift.》   
  
《 Oh?》 Moon didn’t sound actually that surprise, but it still seemed like, somehow, he hadn’t expect the conversation to go there. 《 Yes,》 and after a long pause, he asked, 《 do you know what to ask for?》

《 About that-》 And words still eluded him, feeling his skin too tight for his whole body, clothes way too tight to his skin, feeling like he was going to autocombust. The temperature had to be shifted, not only in the room, but in his whole country, how could they stand the heat and the warmth and this  _ humidity _ ? He cleared his throat, but when he did he felt like choking up around the next sentence, the next breath. 《 Silver Light, I’m-》

_ I  _ want _ this.  _

But the decision had already been taken.

  
*  
  


《 So?》

The whole conversation had been a ride from start to finish, felt like they devoured the entire day through words. Roxas didn’t lie: she put everything on hold for the right reason and considering how raptured Kairi looked, Namine knew the feeling was mutual. 

《 So nothing, that’s it,》 Roxas shrugged, leaning back on his arms. 

《  _ That’s it? _ 》 Kairi burst, taking a stone from nearby and throwing it at him without thinking. Windriser dodged it like the whole thing was nothing but a feeble nuisance, as if Kairi had just thrown him a flower rather than a whole stone. 

《 Poor Sun,》 Namine sighed, 《 he had a wish and he didn’t even know. I wonder what he might have asked of him.》 

《 Asidera wasn't wrong anyway,》 Kairi commented, anger seemingly already spent and lying down once again onto the ground. When she did, a daisy seemed to lean down to caress her cheek. 《 Sun has everything. What use do you have for a wish when you have a whole kingdom?》

《 Doesn’t matter,》 Roxas said, 《 we’ll know anyway sooner or later.》

The silence stretched for a long while. There were no clouds in the sky and the waves of the ocean still threatened to lull Namine to sleep. Maybe that was the reason why it took her that long to understand what Windriser was saying. Kairi was already staring at him as if she was lost for words, mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out. 

《 What do you mean?》 Namine asked, even if she already knew. 

《 He didn't refuse the gift,》 Roxas replied, eyes going to the ocean, to that far, stretched horizon that, for once, wasn't calling out for them, 《 so now it comes the fun part.》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "glory and gore" // lorde


	19. but i've read the script and the costume fits, so i'll play my part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will one day be able to respect my own schedule but This Is Not the Day

_ [ 《 Windriser is leaving, Celestial.》  
_ _   
_ _ 《 I’ll be down in a minute. Leave me.》 _

_ The Attendant left without saying another word. Xion wasn’t there with him just yet and Moon was holding a dagger in his hand - it was a pale thing with a black handle and a blade that seemed sharp enough to cut through seemingly anything without too much effort from his part. He was aware of the weight of the situation - Moon had never kept anything away from his daughter. Everything he had, he had always shared.  _

_ But now the knife he was holding weighed much as a stone. It would have changed everything, starting from the conversation between himself and his own daughter, changed Terra’s vision of him. But Moon wasn’t questioning the gift itself, if it was too much, if anybody would have thought him a fool for delivering such a grand thing. _

_ But, while pressing his knife to one of his strands, Moon truly believed that one might be the easiest choice he'd ever take.] _

  
  
《 I accept,》Sun said on the other said, voice surprisingly shaking with something Moon couldn’t identify properly with the Mask.《 I want you to grant me a wish.》

Moon had been waiting to hear those words, had been dreaming about the chance that this might be the night, or the next one, and the next one. Hoping that somehow somebody told him or he’d discovered it on his own. And now that the words were out, Moon didn’t know what to tell him or how to respond to something he should have expected. Moon remained there, mouth hanging with no words coming out. He was aware of Xion’s eyes on him as much as he was aware of the silence stretching between them. 

Moon put a hand on his own helmet, ready to take it off.《 I’ll speak to you tomorrow, First Eye. I will tell you everything.》And without waiting for a reply, he took out the mask. Behind his veil, Xion was waiting for him to speak: she had her head tilted to the side, confused by the exchange but raising no actual question. She was dressed to go to the Star Field and from her side hang her faithful sword, catching the light of the stars that shone out of the window. 

Moon remained with the Mask between his hands: it resembled nothing the Sun he had met. The nose wasn’t round and his lips weren’t so plum and there was something off in the shape of his eyes - it surprised him to discover how many of those details weren’t completely accurate. It depicted him serious and yet if Moon had to remember the Sun he met, he could only think of his smile, the way it all widened and reached the eyes, almost making him squint. A childish smile. 

《 Father?》

Moon raised his eyes, focusing on Xion. She didn’t seem worried, but she had that kind of expression that spoke urgency. 

《 Did something happen?》She asked once again. 

Moon was about to shake his head before stopping altogether.《 I did something.》

Xion hesitantly nodded.《 What is it?》   
  
Moon put the Mask back into the chest, mind tripping over its own thoughts. 《 I gave a gift to First Eye and his son.》

His daughter made a minute movement with her head - Moon couldn’t tell if that was a nod or an encouragement to go ahead.《 I know. Windriser had a pearl around his neck. I believe that was your gift?》   
  
Moon nodded.《 It was. And-》 He didn’t know why it was so hard to tell to his own daughter.《 I gave something to Sun.》

《 Yes.》

《 Something important.》

Xion stared at him in silence for a long while, frozen. Moon could see the gears working in her head before making everything click in place,《 no.》

《 Yes.》

The silence that stretched between them required answers. Moon had none to give anyway: at the time, the gift felt like the reasonable response to a gesture that was too big for his resources to pay back, no matter how many times Sun had told him this was not a trade. He should have felt guilty for giving away something as grand as this and yet, even when months have passed, Moon still felt strong in his position. But that didn’t take away his difficulty to speak about it with his daughter. 

He adjusted his position on the throne.《 I gave him a wish.》 

Xion was unmoving in front of him, not daring to say anything. Her back was as straight as a taut rope and her shoulders all locked and tight, as if she was mentally preparing for the next sentence. Yet, she still said nothing. 

《 I didn’t know why I did it,》 he made a face at himself,《 no, that’s not quite right. I knew why I did it. It was a thank you gift. He welcomed you and treated you well. He sent us help and he still keeps on helping. And even if I know there nothing I could possibly give him, I still feel like I made the right choice.》 Moon stopped in his tracks, focusing his attention on his hands, trying to latch onto something that wasn’t Xion. 

He didn’t exactly think about the reaction of his daughter - maybe the whole matter was the least prepared thing Moon ever did. He could have thought of a million reactions; except for her taking his face between her tiny hands and just smiling wide. So wide Moon could see the gums, the corner of her lips pulled so back her cheeks must have hurt. Her big, dark eyes almost glinted in the pale light coming from the window. 

She leant her forehead against his - or better, the piece of crown that rested there.《 I walked with you for thousand and thousand of years,》Xion said and Moon could hear the smile even in her voice, that silent enthusiasm that few had the chance to see,《 and yet, this is the very first time I saw you taking something for yourself.》

Moon rested his hands on hers - hands that grasped stars and swords and still felt little under his. 

《 I don’t know if that’s a good thing. A king shouldn’t keep something for himself alone.》

Xion’s smile didn’t waver.《 It’s one thing. What’s a star in an ocean of thousand? Hardly changing the passing of things.》

《 Stars can explode, taking thousand with them.》   
  
《 Not this one,》and then, she took his hand between them, forehead still tightly pressed against the piece of the crown.《 This one will not waver. I will be with you every step of the way.》

As he did for many lifetimes before, Moon believed her.    
  
  


*

Sun expected to find Asidera sitting in front of him when the conversation ended - Moon was actually pretty cryptic about that too, telling him he would talk to him later on, and Sun was sure he could hear the smile in his voice, that kind of expectancy that Sun hadn’t had the chance to actually taste when Moon was in his court. Instead, when Sun removed the Mask, the door to the room had just closed with a loud thump. 

Sun shot up, almost stumbling in his feet to reach for the door. 

《 Asidera, wait!》

Asidera had the kind of pace that people kept when someone didn’t want to be caught up, not a real run but there was a spring in their steps that made Sun’s job harder than it already was with the kind of dress he was wearing. He ran behind, collecting the fabric in his arms so that he could try and catch up with them. 

Sun was on the stairs when the game started to annoy him, feeling some sort of warmth radiating from his hair that prickled the nape of his neck, the shoulders where the loose strands rested.《 Asidera, I’m ordering you to stop!》

His Master of Star did stop, but only when they reached their room. They didn’t lock the door, meaning that whatever conversation they wanted to have, Sun was free to choose to have it - Lea still had to decide if that was going to be just a discussion or a dare. Still, when they walked in, Asidera was waiting for him in the centre of the room, hands neatly folded in front of him and shoulders tight. Even under all their garments, Sun could see the way their muscles all locked in, as if they were straining to keep the anger in check. 

Sun closed the door behind him. They remained in silence for a long while, Asidera’s lips a thin line that opened up for a second before closing up again. They were working around words they didn’t know how to spill out. Sun still said nothing, trying to recollect himself after the run up the stairs. 

《 Do you know why I have this ring, First Eye?》Asidera raised their right hand, showing off the golden band. It was a tiny thing and yet so easily to spot. On the centre of it, there was one single, red speck: ruby. 

《 It’s the ring every Master of Star has,》Sun could just imagine his voice to be severe and firm, but he knew how shaken and huffed it could sound like to anyone else: athleticism was hardly one of his best features.《 I gave it to you about… fifty years ago, when you came back. Maybe more, you know how years work for-》

《 So you know what it represents.》

Sun bit his tongue. Of course he knew, but he wouldn’t answer. Not when Asidera’s words had such a aim, so precise, coming from a place of anger and brutal honesty that Sun didn’t want to hear.

Asidera answered for them.《 I serve the crown because everything that I am is in this ring. Loyalty. Companionship. Respect. My place is beside you, helping you to keep your head steady and upright with this weight on your head.》

《 I know,》 Lea said,《 don’t think I ever forget that.》   
  
《 It seems like today you did.》

《 You asked me to do something I didn’t want to-》   
  
《 Many times you did, First Eye,》 Asidera interrupted him, walking toward him with heavy, but careful steps.《 It’s not your job to like every task you’re assigned to or be happy with it. Many, many times we asked of you something you despised but deemed right for your people, for your court. As a king, you have to do something you don’t want to. And other times, there will be things you want to do that you can’t for the future of your kingdom. Those are necessary sacrifices. Moon may have nothing to lose, First Eye, but you decided today to put everything on the line for a petty thing.》

Sun hated the way Asidera talked to him, the way he had to keep his head upright and gaze steady even if their words actually rang true and were hard to listen to. Asidera had always been skilled in that: toeing the line between disrespect and actual concern for state affairs. Lea couldn’t tell them anything even if he wanted to. Asidera knew their place and knew how to play their cards, fae through and through and still closest advisor. 

《 It’s a wish. It’s hardly a hazard for the kingdom. And accepting the gift will make our friendship with Moon stronger, more stable. Sili too might change her mind after this.》

《 First Eye, think about how this might look to your people’s eyes. Going back and forth between the kingdoms for this, for something they don’t understand, burning through resources, not focusing on internal problems-》

《 Who said I won’t be able to take care of my people if I search for a friendship with Moon?》

《 You can have your friendship with Moon without throwing your whole country into chaos. Do you have any idea how will this reflect on you? What will the people think?》

《 That I accepted I gift I couldn’t refuse in the first place, Moon would have seen the gesture as offensive.》

《 Is that what you believe,》Asidera said, almost hissing the words out,《 or rather what you  _ want _ to believe so you won’t think about the consequences of your actions?》

Lea hated the way they were speaking to him, hated how their words, even if coming from a place of anger, toeing almost the line of disrespect, ran true to his ears. In another time, Asidera and Sun would have sat down and they would have started to question the matter, listing all the pros and the cons, trying to wrap their head around the question and giving Sun the final word. It should have gone like that even then. 

But this was another matter entirely and as much as they both understood each other reasons, at the same time, Asidera was still serving the crown; Sun had decided to serve himself. 

《 I’d advise you to hold your tongue, Master of Star,》Sun said, keeping his eyes leveled with them. 

《 And believe me, it’s the last advice you’ll give me for today,》they said, going over to the door.《 I’m leaving.》

Sun scoffed, almost a mockery of a laugh, moving the long sheer cape around so he could properly turn and see him.《 Are you really going? Just because of this? Are you that angry with me?》

《 I’m leaving because I need to hold together the pieces of the mess you just created with your wishful thinking,》Asidera bit back, hand on the handle but never opening the door properly.《 I’m going to Meridiana. I have to speak with Sili immediately. And, yes, I also need some time away from the court, First Eye.》

《 For this?》Sun exclaimed. He wanted to laugh, but in reality it hurt him. Asidera wanted to leave the court for something so petty it felt unfair. He understood their reasoning: if Sili or any other Ray heard about this impromptu, rumours would have turned into voices and voices would have turned into judgement - on his court, on Asidera’s job, on Sun’s persona. But still, Sun knew Asidera needed a breather and maybe that was what made him more upset.《 You’re leaving for this.》

《 I know my place, First Eye. Today you decided to overlook my judgment and take something for yourself. I understand the feeling,》and Sun knew they actually did, from the softness in their gaze, the slight slackening of their tight shoulders,《 but now I have to fix this, and quickly.》

When they opened the door, Roxas was standing outside the door, hands behind his back and a smile on his lips - a trickster smile. 

《 Everything alright?》 He asked, eyes going from the Master to Sun and back to Asidera again. Sun didn’t know what to answer: it felt like everything was changing in front of his very eyes but it was that kind of change that brings storms and dark waters. 

Asidera turned around one last time, bowing deeply.《 I’ll see you in a couple of days, First Eye. Be well. Windriseri, with me, if you will.》

Roxas remained planted there for a while, as if he was actually pondering what the best course of action was. Lea made a gesture with his hand before pressing fingers on the bridge of his nose: the headache was tormenting him, coming and going as it pleased.《 Listen to Asidera, Roxas. I have things to attend to anyway.》

Windriser followed the Master without saying anything. 

Sun had nothing to attend, aside from threading lightly through his thoughts and hoping to find a way to unravel the mess he created with his own hands. 

_ But at least it’s  _ my _ mess.  _

The thought didn’t bring the comfort he craved.   
  


*  
  


《 Are you leaving?》Roxas asked, jumping on the rail of the stairs and sliding down. When he reached the landing, his feet made no sound.《 Where are you going?》 He knew of course and he was aware that Asidera could see through his feigned ignorance - there was no way to fool them around, even with his half truths. 

《 I need to go to Meridiana immediately.》

Roxas walked backward in front of them.《 Why?》   
  
《 We both know you’re aware of my motivations, Windriser,》Asidera replied, eyes fixed in front of them as if Roxas was nothing more than an annoying fly in their way. Roxas moved to their side, a sprint in his steps as he followed them down the steps of the castle and all through the exit, stopping a moment on the entrance landing. They took a deep breath in. 

《 You’ll need to watch over your father while I’m away. Now more than ever,》 and for the first time since they left the castle, Asidera turned toward him. They talked like it was a matter of life and death and while Roxas couldn’t actually understand why they act like that, he could see the way his father’s restless behaviour could affect the ways of the court. And especially his Master’s mind.

He crossed his arms.《 Why are you so pressed over the matter?》 Roxas shrugged.《 It’s just a gift. Nothing behind it but Moon’s need to pay him back. What could he offer to Sun anyway? You’ve heard the reports from his country. It doesn’t sound good.》   
  
Asidera watched him long and hard. Windriser could feel their eyes going over their hair, the eyes and they way his clothes draped around him - something soft and easy to move into. The Master of Star sighed, shoulders slouching.《 Always so different from your father, and yet the resemblance is striking to me every time.》 When Windriser made no comment on that, they kept talking.《 I understand your father’s feelings, make no mistake. I don’t experience the weight of the crown, but I see it. I’m here to ease the pain that comes with it. You both see just the wish and what it could mean between the two of them.》

《 And what do you see?》   
  
《 I see Sili walking into the room in war clothes.》

They didn’t need to remind him: the way the jacket draped around her hips and the red line crossing the centre of her face haunted his thoughts daily. Roxas couldn’t remember much of his past lifetimes, but he was sure if he skimmed through the archives and the documents in the library he would find himself somewhere in the pages, with the same red line, the same hunger in his eyes. He’d rather not think about it.    
  
He crossed his arms.《 You weren’t this worried before. Why now?》

《 There was no wish on the table before,》he sighed, almost sound exasperated.《 Your father had kept a secret from all of us. I’m here to make sure this little stone he decided to throw will only create ripples and not waves I will not be able to control. What if Sili will come to know this? What if other provinces will know?》

Roxas stayed silent. Sili was already on the foot of war, a spark ready to become inferno. If Sili was able to drag along other provinces with her and make some noise, the life in the capital would have become messier, more unstable. And as far as he knew, Sun was careful to maintain things as stable as possible for the sake of everyone. The provinces had already their own violent courses and violent ends: no need to repeat history with some of them. 

At the same time, Windriser was impossibly curious about the whole matter. Sun had been hardly ever curious toward Moon’s world and now that interest stirred, Roxas couldn’t help but wandering around the matter with light feet and open ears toward the most interesting news. But Windriser knew about his position: son first and advisor second. Asidera had no such luck. 

《 Sun will have to go to Moon at some point to answer for his gift. What will the people think when they will see him leave once a month,  _ twice _ a month, for Moon’s lands? We’ll have the Rays walking up these steps as soon as they see Sun walking out the door.》   
  
《 What is your plan?》Roxas asked. He got the gist. 

《 Telling Sili about the wish. I’m gonna tell her I approved Sun’s decision to accept it.》

《 So you’re lying.》   
  
Asidera laughed, but there was no hilarity or joy in that. Windriser felt a pang of pain, much like the thorn of a rose prickling the skin.《 Apparently, that is the norm lately,》and walked past Roxas to climb down the steps toward the plaza. 

Roxas approached the landing.《 Can I come with you?》

《 You stay with your father, Windriser. He will need someone on his side.》Asidera replied, turning around for a brief moment, one leg down a step.《 I believe the wind is changing.》

《 That is not up to you to say,》 joked Roxas, stealing a laugh from them. 

《 You’re right.》For a moment, Asidera looked at him like they wanted to set his picture in their mind. Windriser told them nothing: he had no words to offer. He understood the silent rage inside Asidera, that hollow sound that came from deep within and that would receive no answer. As fae, they knew better than that.《 Be safe, then a small smile tugged at the corner of their lips,《 and don’t throw the court into chaos while I’m away.》

《 I cannot promise you that.》

Asidera scoffed, barely a laugh: it looked like they couldn’t bring themselves to. It seemed like they wanted to say something else, but then, before any words could get out of their mouth, Asidera just turned and walked down the stairs. Roxas waited on the landing until he saw them riding along the main street with a green chocobo: one moment and they were gone. 

Windriser knew the court without Asidera, he had come to know all the shapes and the shades of the castle without its key pawns. The castle had also known a shape without him. But no matter how much time it passed, not having Asidera around could always make the whole gravity shift, like they were the pin keeping everything upright and well. Especially now with the wish on the table. 

Of course Roxas was excited to see the unraveling of the events, but he also knew he was privileged enough to see them without worrying too much about politics. Asidera could not afford that. 

_ Neither Sun, for that matter.  _

He didn’t know if that thought came from him or from some inner parts of his mind that strangely enough had a voice much similar to Asidera. 

Roxas found his father in his room, sitting on a cushion by the windowsill and fingers playing idly with the small box that he had brought back from Moon’s world - seemed like centuries before. 

《 Asidera left.》Windriser said, closing the door behind him and sitting on the vanity table. There were a couple of trinkets abandoned there on the surface - a golden band, a necklace with a ruby that looked like it could weigh tons, a couple of mismatched earrings.

《 I know,》Lea replied, moving his eyes away from the window and returning with the gaze on the box. He kept opening it just a slit and snapping it close right after. For a while, the  _ click! _ of the small chest was the only sound audible in the room.《 Give me your two ambriks on the matter.》

Roxas moved an earring to the side, eyes scanning the gold.《 What do you want me to say?》   
  
《 What you think about this. I’m sure you have an opinion.》

Windriser shrugged.《 I’m just curious. Nothing much to it.》He spotted a circlet just behind the mirror, one that caught his eyes for the intricate design on the front, forming something so similar to a drop. He tried it on - way too tight around his head, basically resting on top of his hair. 《 I have no deeper reason to oppose this.》

《 Do you think I made the right choice then?》

Roxas threw the circlet away, shrugging. He went for a couple of chain earrings, long enough to reach Lea’s shoulders.《 I don’t know, do you think you made the right choice?》

Sun sighed, almost a frustrated groan. Asidera’s absence was already affecting him enough, if he was going to ask him advice or opinions on the matter. 

《 I mean,》Windriser said, crossing his legs on the table, trinkets all forgotten,《 you really are desperate if you ask  _ me _ opinions on the matter.》

《 Shouldn’t I?》

《 I’m a trickster. If you were to ask me if you could break your neck by throwing yourself from the highest tower, I would say no.》

Sun turned toward him.《 You’d hurt yourself, you can’t lie.》

《 And deprive myself from seeing you fly from the highest tower because I told you nothing bad would happen?》Roxas laughed.《 Might as well cut off my tongue, for all I care.》

Sun shook his head, but Windriser could see the small smile forming on his lips. He jumped off the table, approaching the window where he was sitting. Sun had long stopped opening and closing the casket, but his finger kept caressing the surface constantly. When Windriser snatchet it off his grasp, Sun made no movement to actually get it back, dropping his arms on his lap. 

The lock of hair inside was neatly kept together by a long, silver thread and sparkling specks were spread all over the bottom of the box. 

Roxas chuckled.《 What is that, dandruff?》

Sun snatched the box back, laughing.《 It’s stardust and you should know, considering you kept rubbing in my face the fact that you touched it.》

《 So, what’s gonna be?》Windriser asked, sneaking inside the alcove and sitting in front of his father. He had to keep his legs close to his chest to have some space, considering how much space Sun was used to occupy now. 

Sun smiled.《 What?》

《 The wish. What are you gonna ask?》   
  
《 I don’t think you’re supposed to tell what you’re wishing for.》

《 Oh, com’on! I’m not gonna tell anyone!》The moment he said it, Windriser could feel the start of a prickling just on the tip of his tongue - it was similar to the feeling of eating something that is way too hot. 

Sun, who stayed silent for a while, brought him in for what Roxas initially thought it was just a non required hug. In reality, Lea threw an arm around his neck and started rubbing hard at his head with his knuckles.《 Will you stop lying at your own father?》

Windriser wailed his arms, trying to grasp at anything and failing. He laughed despite it all.《  _ Ouch _ ,  _ ouch _ ! Let me go, I swear I’m gonna break your arm!》He hated the fact that, even then, his tongue prickled again. 

As soon as Sun let him go, Roxas jumped from his spot. He put some distance between them and rubbed the place where his father had rubbed his knuckles in: it wasn’t actually hurtful, but just plainly annoying. 

《 So you don’t think it’s a bad idea,》Sun said, mind returned to the starting point, as if he could never stray that far from the focus of the conversation. 

《 I'm not Asidera,》Roxas replied, sitting by the vanity so he could fix the mess his father just made. He ran a hand through his hair a couple of times.《 I might have been worried before, but now?》He scoffed,《 now it might actually be fun. For me, at least. But I think you must understand Asidera's point.》

《 I get it, it's them who don't understand my point of view.》He moved away from his spot, walking toward the table next to the bed so he could leave the box there. His fingers lingered on the surface for just a moment before stepping away, moving in circles around the room. It wasn't exactly a river of complains, but more like an outlet, a way to vent without feeling judged. Roxas looked at him through the mirror, seeing the way he ran a hand through his hair - in that familiar way that Roxas had picked up over the centuries, as many other little habits that come naturally from copying a father figure. 

Sun spoke in rivers about everything and nothing all the same, pinching the bridge of his nose when words got heavier and almost dragged out of his lips. He talked about having something of his own and not meant to share and the weight of the crown and Windriser couldn't have possibly understood all of that; but Asidera could. Asidera had been there to ease all of that weight with wise words and a strong will, for that has been the design that had been appointed to them from someone higher, at the beginning of time. 

《 Asidera understands your point of view,》Roxas said, stopping his father's flow of consciousness,《 but they can't condone it and you can't ask them to.》

《 But it's just-》and before he could end the sentence, Sun stopped, torturing the bottom lip with the tip of his fingers - something he would usually do when he was too frustrated with himself. 

《 You see just a gift,》Windriser said, crossing his arms on the vanity,《 Asidera sees all the things that this secret might bring. You can't blame them for doing their jobs. What, did you expect them to jump up and congratulate you? "You go, First Eye, you did good, let's throw a party, ask Sili if she wants to come", was that what you were waiting for?》

《 The party would have been a surprise.》

Roxas laughed.《 I mean,  _ yes _ , can you imagine Asidera  _ dancing _ ?》 

Sun shook his head, but Windriser could see he was smiling, even if he was trying to hide it. 

《 I'm your son, I want your happiness,》Roxas said, moving the chair behind so he could get up and turn around.《 But I also don't want to see Asidera having three mental breakdowns in a row.》

《 And I guess you just want the fun that could come out of it?》

《 Are you kidding? Kairi and Namine are  _ dying _ to know everything, I don't think I will leave this court for the next five months.》

Sun laughed and the conversation seemed to end there. Something Roxas would have called a truce.

It was Kora who announced the call, three days later, and with him, so came Asidera's words - a reminder and an omen all the same.

_ I believe the wind is changing. _  
  


*

There was something different in that call, but Sun couldn't have known. His voice was the same, but the gravity of it had shifted and his words seemed heavier. Lea sat there knowing that the wind was changing but without any chance of guessing which way it was gonna blow next. 

《 First Eye, you must know,》Moon started saying from the other said,《 a wish is nothing if it doesn't come from a place of resilience. For that, you'll face three trials. You may take as long as you wish, but you must not ask anyone for help or advice.》

《 I can answer whenever I want?》

《 You may bring me what I have asked for whenever you're ready, as long as you're certain that is the right answer,》a brief pause.《 I've read in my Archives that once someone took 25 years before returning to me with the right answer.》

《 What if I say the wrong thing?》

《 I may ask of you to return with the right answer.》

Lea stayed silent. He was waiting but he couldn't know what he was actually waiting for.

《 First Eye?》Moon said.《 Are you still certain?》

And never in his life Sun had been more certain about something. The only chance of having more of someone like him.

《 What do I have to do?》

So Moon told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "cleopatra" // the lumineers


	20. red velvet under pressure, blah blah green eyes

When Asidera rode into Meridiana, the sky was turning to a slight deeper shade of blue and the city, with its long arched ways and its open plazas, had started to slowly empty. Meridiana was that kind of city you don't know you missed it until you're finally come back, taking in its red bricks and felt the grains under the fingertips and walked onto its stone pavement. There was no scent of ocean and yet it felt like home all the same.

The main building, the Centre, was standing at the end of the main plaza, surrounded by portico all around, with the streets spreading outward and on like veins under the skin. Around the plaza there was only flocks of youth, out and about, loud and boastful and as if ready to take over the world. Asidera had no memory of such feelings of grandeur, but they remembered the weight on their shoulders while still in their clan, not as a family but as something more close to a cult.

They cast the thought out of their mind as the voices of the youngs girls dimmed and died - no reason to dwell on it. When they approached the building, two guards were standing sentinels on both sides of the door. They both had their hair waved in complex braids, either falling on their shoulders or worked around their head, and pins of all shapes were fixed on a couple of strands. They had no weapons on them and when Asidera came close, the two women offered a smile.

《 Master of Star.》

《 May the First Eye watch us close.》

They bowed their head. 《 May his light guide us home.》 One of them spoke first, 《 what's your business here in Meridiana, Master of Star?》

Asidera dismounted their stead. The chocobo cooed at them when Asidera passed a hand through his feathers, from the top of his head down his neck. 《 I need to speak to Ray Sili. Rather urgently, if you please.》

A look passed through the two guards, as if they were contemplating the request and wondering the weight of the matter. 

《 Ray Sili is still consulting with her own Masters and the Raincatcher,》 said the guard with the braids waved around her head, 《 I don't think she can receive you this moment just yet.》

《 Raincatcher is here?》 It wasn't a novelty seeing Aqua discussing with the Rays, but hearing she was still here in the late hours of the day was certainly strange. Sili had for sure a valid reason to consult with the fae so late.

The guard nodded. 《 She arrived a couple of hours ago. The Ray wanted her opinion on the Master of Land's reports.》

Asidera nodded. They wanted to ask something else when the doors of the building opened. From the entrance walked out a group of people - the Masters - and at the end of it, there they were: Sili and Aqua, deep in conversation. Raincatcher was wearing an easy, flowy dress, one that would billow at the first light breeze and would have made every artist think she was the muse they had been looking for their entire lives. At her back was strapped her faithful fan, big enough to go past her head and bang at her ankles from time to time. 

Aqua smiled at them when their eyes met. 《 You've come a long way, Master of Star.》 She wrapped her hand around their arm in salute and Asidera did the same, their grips tight for a brief moment before letting go. 《 I'm glad to see you.》

《 I see you working until late, Raincatcher Aqua. Do not overlook your own health. Sleep is as important for us as it is for humans.》

Aqua laughed, hiding her smile behind a closed hand. When she did, Asidera could actually understand what Terra saw - the glinting in her blue eyes, the arch of her wrist, the small chuckle. 《 Hadn't you been right in front of me, I would have sworn this was my mother's talking.》 

Asidera offered her a smile. 《 I mean it.》

Aqua shook her head. 《 You don't need to fret. I'm leaving,》 she turned toward Sili and bowed her head in her direction. 《 Take care of yourself, Ray Sili. I will see you tomorrow.》 She then saluted Asidera once again and then started walking away, looking for a water source - Asidera's eyes caught exactly the moment the two guards turned around to look at Aqua one last time. 

《 Asidera.》

Sili was the tower of it all: tall and strong and not ready to waver through the storm. Her hair was fixed in a convoluted bun, pins keeping it upright and tight - at least it must have been at the start of the day. It had started slowly to lean on the right and few strand had begun to come loose: nonetheless, she looked powerful and stunning. She was wearing a comfortable gown with a wine red stash thrown over herself and coming down behind her back; the slippers at her feet talked about a day spent running around.

《 Apologies for the late hour, Sili. It has been a rather long journey.》

Sili shook her hand. She wasn't surprised by their visit in the slightest, as if she had been waiting for them. 《 Nonsense. You've come just at the right time for supper. Walk with me.》 She made a gesture for the guards to take Asidera's chocobo to the closest stable and then, without saying anything else, she started walking in the direction of the archways streets. Asidera had the time to salute the guards before running behind Sili, catching up on her.

The Ray wasn't in any hurry, still she walked with the pace of a general: firm strides, back straight and eyes set in front of her. Whenever someone saluted her, Sili bowed her head back, showing no signs of stopping when someone looked like they wanted to engage in a conversation. Asidera kept up the pace, hands folded behind their back.

《 I presume this is a matter of urgency if you've come here yourself,》 Sili started saying, turning around the corner. There was a bakery closing up there and when the man saw them, he distractedly waved his hand. Under the portico, any other place had already long closed.

《 I wanted to discuss something with you.》

《 About what?》

《 You must know now of Sun's endeavor with Moon. You've seen it.》

《 I'd rather not but please, go ahead.》

Asidera thought better than to try and change her mind. 《 As a thank you for everything he did back when Tempest stormed through his kingdom.》

《 Cut to the chase, Asidera. What are you trying to tell me?》

《 Moon has granted Sun a wish.》

Sili stopped in her tracks. She closed her eyes and breathed deep through her nose, as if to steady herself. She did it once, then twice, Asidera patiently standing close while Sili took control of herself.

《 A wish, you say.》 Asidera couldn't help but notice the hiss between her teeth, like the word might burn on the tip of her tongue. They started walking again, but in Sili's steps there was another pace, a sprint that asked Asidera to stay close. 

They told her everything. About the lock of hair, the meaning that single gift held. But they didn't told her about the secret: everything might set a spark and Sili was a wildfire ready to blow. There was no need to create more stirring between the two. All the while, the Ray of Meridiana kept silent, nodding from time to time to let the Master know she was still listening. 

When Asidera finished their tale, Sili was opening up the door to her home: it was standing under the portico, right next to a closed locksmith. The interior of her house was built much like the outside: every door was an arch and every corner of her house had a plant or some flowers - even though almost wilted. Papers and books were scattered all around, like Sili walked into the room with a document and walked out with five more, leaving a trail behind. 

It was a rather small habitation. It was more the house of a scholar than a Ray and Asidera was surprised to find that chaos in a person like Sili. 

《 Take a seat at my table, Asidera,》 she said, throwing the stash on the bed - it was still unmade and the quilt was all ruined. 《 You must forgive the mess. I hardly get any visitors.》 

《 I was sure you had a companion, Sili,》 Asidera said, taking their seat on the armchair pulled close to the table, the only one free actually.

Sili's replay came from the small kitchen, just around the corner. 《 I've got two, but they don't live here with me. I like my independence. But we find ways to keep each other company well enough.》 

Asidera found it odd, but again, even after so many years, hunans still found a way to surprise them. Sili came back rather soon: she didn't have a lot to offer, but she made sure they could both share a bite together. 

When she went to pour a glass of white wine, she shook her head. 《 You could have told me you were coming. This seems like the house of a disgraced woman.》

《 And yet, Sili, everytime I look at you I see a fortress,》 Asidera replied, taking the glass from her hand.

The Ray shook her head - she had a small smile on her lips and her cheeks almost seemed to turn a darker shade of pink. 《 Fortresses are hardly pretty things to look at.》

《 But you never looked for beauty, Sili, don't you?》

Sili's mouth became a tight line. She sat down, wrapping her gown around the legs of the chair. 《 I suppose you're right, Master of Star.》 She ran a finger around the rim of the glass, slowly but with intention. 

They shared wine and food in almost utter silence, Sili asking some trivial question from time to time, something that was dictated more by mere courtesy than actual interest. Asidera answered anyway, smiling through the whole act, thanking her when she went to pour the wine twice, three times. It wasn't as heavy as the red wine that the court offered and it went down their throat as fresh water.

《 So,》 Sili said, smiling at nothing while taking another bite at the lamb. 《 I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about my romantic relationships, Master of Star.》

Asidera smiled. 《 I didn't, Sili.》

《 And I'm sure you didn't come here just to tell me that First Eye received a wish.》 Sili leant back on the chair, crossing one leg over the other, the glass of wine in her hand. 《 You came here to tell me whether they accepted it or not. And you wouldn't be here if Sun had refused.》

Asidera didn't lower their gaze. Sili wasn't stupid, she could read between the lines: their hope was she couldn't detect lies in what she was looking into.

《 First Eye couldn't refuse such a gift, Sili. It would have edged into offence and we are working hard to build a friendship between the two kingdoms.》

《 And do you came to know of this when?》

It came as easy as dealing cards to a table who had never seen a trick, who had not known bluffing. 

《 A month ago. When Windriser came back from Moon. He had given him a lock of his hair.》

《 And they’re acting upon this wish now?》 Sili tilted her head to the side, that same way that cats do while hunting. 《 Why waiting so long? Wouldn’t Moon see this as impudence as well?》

《 A wish is not a mere wish to give away so lightly. Moon knew of its burden. Sun accepted a couple of days ago after much thinking.》

Sili tilted her head to the other side. 《 Burden?》

Asidera put the glass on the table: it has been empty for a while now. 

《 In the old stories, Moon said that a gift without a proof of will was worth nothing. I believe Sun will need to face something before getting the actual wish. And even then, I don’t think Moon will give it away so freely if it’s something he doesn’t feel comfortable giving.》

Sili remained silent for a while, pondering on their words. Her hand kept making gentle, round movements, staring at the wine following the movements. Asidera could feel the silence pressing on their shoulders - maybe it was worry, maybe it was the lie they had to build to protect the Balance. It was a net they hoped wouldn't trapped them inside. 

《 I may not know what's the best course of action,》 she said, voice as hard as steel. She gulped down the rest of the wine. 《 But you seem to know, Master of Star. You wouldn't tell me this if you were uncertain and I know no shadow are to be cast between Sun and his court. I have to trust you, even through my anger.》

Asidera hoped the alcohol could knock them out in that instant, but they weren't this lucky.

《 I know it's unknown territory, but this is for the best. We have to be patient now.》

Sili nodded. 

《 So right now Sun is alone?》   
  
《 With Windriser. It was time for me to tell you about the whole situation and how quickly is evolving. I’m sure they will be fine.》

Sili made a sound in the back of her throat, nodding her head just once. For a moment she seemed lost in thoughts, finger still on the stem of the glass, only the sound of youth cheering coming from the open window. Then, after a moment of silence, she grabbed the bottle of wine and poured Asidera another. 

The liquid went way past half a glass. Asidera made no comment to that.

《 Drink,》 she said, walking back to the kitchen so that she could grab another bottle. It opened up with a loud  _ pop! _ . 《 Void knows if we don’t need it.》   
  


*

《 What the fuck does that even mean?》

The conversation went peachy, as much as any conversation with Moon could go - cryptic and short and with no room for explanations. And with these trials in his hands, there was no way Sun could ask for any explanation whatsoever. Nor could he ask for any help, as he had sworn to Moon - and Sun knew better than to straight up lie behind the back of an entity like Moon. 

Sun had just smiled to nobody in particular, said his goodbye and then removed his mask. But Moon’s first trial weighed on his head as much as a sword could, its sharp blade caressing his hair like mother and mercenary alike. Windriser didn’t say anything but Lea could see curiosity eating him alive in the way he was slightly leaning forward, in the blown up pupils - a cat more than a fae. 

He got up abruptly. 《 I need to think.》

《 Oh, is that the trial? That’s gonna be tough.》

《  _ Ah-ah _ , that is so funny.》

There was no fun in what was storming through Sun’s mind. Moon’s request had been very precise and yet Sun’s brain was going in all directions, spinning around thread of thoughts that lead to nothing. The more he thought about it the more his head hurt, like someone was bashing his head to make more space around.

He ran a hand through his hair; if Asidera were present, they would have told him something for it. But Asidera wasn’t here to tell him anything and somehow the thought comforted him and saddened him all the same. The conversation with Moon had left him with a sour taste in his mouth, not because of something he had told him, but because of the trial itself. Sun had never been much brilliant with riddles and now the thought that he might go ahead and do this thing on his own nauseated him for how many hours he would have think long and hard about this trial. 

And it was just the first one. He had a long way to go - assuming he would have been able to even respond to that request in this lifetime. 

_ [《 Bring me the only thing I don’t possess.》] _

Moon’s voice sounded in his ears as if he was standing right next to him, whispering into his ears - with his diaphanous skin and dark veil, close enough to touch, to slide the curtain aside, to  _ actually _ see him. With his heavy clothes and his ringing laugh. He could even hear him telling his name over and over again, in that kind of urgency he had never heard him before. 

《  _ Dad! _ 》

Sun raised his head. 《 What is it?》 He didn’t want to sound that exasperated and yet the words were already out before he could catch himself. At some point, his son had gotten up from his seat and now he was looking up at him with worry. He chuckled. 《 I know it’s not often you see me thinking, but at least-》

《 Your eyes!》

Sun touched his right eye. He could feel something viscous coiling down his cheek. When he lowered his hand, his fingertip was stained with molten gold. 

There wasn’t much of a ruckus around him when Windriser went to catch a bowl for him to keep under, but at least a couple of attendants and a Master had gathered around him. Sun should’ve been surprised by the whole thing and yet his mind couldn’t focus right: it was bouncing back between Moon’s request and the gold slowly collecting in the bowl, hands cupped under the bowl and head down to facilitate the whole thing. 

Roxas was sitting right next to him, a hand around Sun’s hair to keep them from falling down in front of him. He looked utterly bored by the whole thing. 《 I was wondering when you would start shedding something.》   
  
《 What am I, a bird?》

《 Well, I mean… you like to strut around in your stuff, maybe I should start calling you peacock. Or pigeon.》   
  
《 A pigeon doesn’t strut, Roxas.》

The Master of Thread butted in before Roxas could reply. They had a smile on their face, but it didn’t reach the eyes.《 I apologize, but can you two keep this interesting conversation for later? This seems a bit important.》 Sun didn’t need to look up to feel his son’s anger at the intrusion - 《 And yes, First Eye is right, Windriser, pigeons don’t strut.》 - just to into upset. Sun silently snickered in the bowl. 

By the time Sun had finished shedding, his eyes hurt like he had been staring too much at something without blinking and the headache made him almost nauseous. The liquid inside the bowl, past the brief moment of stillness, was now moving like it had a life on it own, collapsing and rising, reshaping and rebuilding itself anew under everyone’s scrutiny. And after a few minutes, the gold actually formed a circle, coiling round and round again. 

When it stopped moving and the gold actually took form, on the bottom of the bowl rested a bracelet, one that was fit to be worn on the forearm. It was a simple thin circlet ending with two lines upward: one head ended with a sphere that looked close to a stylised sun ( _ or a Moon _ ); the other head had a diamond shape, but its corner were a bit more pronounced, a bit more sharp and curved outward. 

_ A star, _ and Sun wasn’t sure if that thought was really his. 

《 It seems like this friendship with Moon is going in the right direction,》 said Kora, smiling up at Sun, almost beaming in his happiness. Sun had seen the way he had been staring at the whole court when Moon came into his lands, how his eyes would linger a second more on the fabrics. He lowered his gaze onto the jewel, 《 I think is a pretty memory to keep.》

Sun had to agree: it was pretty and it was also a constant reminder of what he had to go through before getting what he wanted. 

_ Devotion is nothing if it doesn’t come from a place of resilience and truth.  _

As pilgrims to their altars, he was willing to show Moon the same devotion. 

But Sun soon found out that putting his mind into something didn’t provide him the solution right away. The request haunted him constantly like a ghost from the past, keeping him awake when he should have rested and restless amid his tasks, unable to focus on the right thing. He had to bring something that Moon didn’t have. While listening to the recent reports and his next appointments, Sun took in everything Moon didn’t possess: the gold, the light curtains that billowed in the wind, the sheer fabrics of his clothes. 

When he took a sip of his goblet, his mind went immediately to the glass.  _ Maybe he doesn’t have this thing, but why would he want a goblet? Or maybe is it the wine? Maybe he doesn’t have vineyards.  _ He cast the thought out of his mind and yes, of course he would confer with the southern provinces about their status and yes, he wanted to know the upcoming Masters’ progress in Zeni and another thousands of tasks he would answer yes and yes and no by inertia, listening but almost half heartedly.

He could have given Moon everything and nothing. There was a lot he didn’t possess, a lot that he needed, especially now after Tempest’s coming, and yet nothing that came up to his mind -  _ this crown, this necklace, this sheet, this recipe _ \- nothing seemed ( _ was _ ) like the right answer. He shouldn’t have been so worried about getting it wrong, considering there was a margin of error, but something inside of Lea dictated him to play his part right. It was the sheer desire of trying to be good by him. 

At first, after the conversation with Moon, Lea thought it would have taken him a couple of hours to solve the mystery. A day, if the request became a mental effort for him - something easily achieved. 

Sun didn’t even realize how long he had spent on the riddle until he saw Asidera’s chocobo back in the stables. It has been more than a week since they left. More than a week on such a simple riddle that he was sure Asidera would have solved in maybe two hours tops. 

Lea groaned, marching from the stables down the path toward the shore. He wasn’t angry with them specifically, for he had no reason to be - Asidera was trying to prevent the fall of the crown while Sun was just to focus in dancing around, not caring if he was about to step forward unharmed or trip down. He had to understand their point and put aside that selfishness that moved him. Yet, nothing prevented him from not going to talk to them immediately. 

The shore was deserted aside from a couple of fishermen quietly sitting on the rocks, far in the distance. No one that could actively nagging him for the time being. He drew up his pants, up to the knee, and made a bow around to prevent the light fabric to fall down again. He stepped into the water - it wasn’t even lukewarm around his skin and soft bubbles were forming around his calves. 

Lea closed his eyes. Took a deep breath and let go after few seconds, relaxed his shoulders until the tension slowly slithered away. He could feel his hair tickling the skin but that didn’t bother him: there were lots of annoying things that Sun had decided to leave behind for the time being, leaving him only with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the cries of the seagulls above his head. 

Maybe that was Moon lacked: that kind of tranquility you get when watching the sea, the line of deep blue up ahead, the seagulls crying, the rocking of the waves like a lullaby. Sun liked when, in the first hours of a new day, the sea turned deep green - not close to his fields and not as deep green as the fronds of an oak. It was one of his favourite thing to look at - aside from the lemon cakes his chefs would pull out fresh in the afternoon or the flowers wreath that people put up on their doors at the start of their crops’ cycle, when the first seed spurt. 

_ Maybe he wants me to bring him the morning ocean.  _

But how does one bring Moon something that would lose its beauty in a small box? Nor could he take him lemon cakes or a flower wreath that would have died on the way. No answer seemed like the right one. He couldn’t make him wait that long.

《 Needed a break?》

He turned around even if he perfectly knew who it was. Asidera didn’t look tired nor fatigued by the whole journey and, even if now a cape rested on their shoulders, Asidera was still wearing riding clothes - a loose shirt that showed their tattooed arms and pants fit enough to allow movements; the veil on their head was tied tight and the tail of the fabric was falling on their shoulder, wrapped neatly together. 

Sun nodded absently, returning with his eyes on the line of blue ahead. 《 Just a bit. I have a lot to do.》

《 At least I see the castle is still standing.》

Lea didn’t say anything on that. Silence stretched between them. 

《 How did it go with Sili?》 Sun asked, splashing a bit of water forward before returning still. 

《 She bought it,》 Sun heard the water moving behind him. Asidera came to stand next to him, too far for their hands to brush together, but close enough that his Master might feel the warmth on their skin. They didn’t even raise the hems of their pants, decided to just go with it. 《 I made clear that I’ve always known about the gift and was waiting for you to act on it.》 

Sun nodded but said nothing. 

《 Oh, is that new?》 

Sun looked at them for a second: Asidera was pointing at the bracelet on his forearm.

《 I shed it a couple of days ago.》

Asidera nodded stiffly. 《 I think it is pretty. Simple.》

《 Yes, I think so.》

They both returned with their eyes on the horizon. Sun was sure Asidera asked because of honest curiosity, but the whole conversation felt off, like they were talking for inertia, not putting too much effort into it. For a while, only the soft, crashing of the waves spoke for them. 

Asidera cleared their throat.

《 How did it go with Moon?》

《 He gave me my first trial.  _ A wish is nothing if it doesn't come from a place of resilience _ , he said.》

《 I presume you can’t have any help?》

Sun shook his head. 

《 So you solved it?》

《 I’m-》 Sun raised his head high. 《 I’m close to solve it.》

《 You have no idea on how to solve it, right?》

Sun stayed stubbornly silent for a long while, before turning his gaze on Asidera. Asidera did the same, a small smile playing on the corner of their lips. 

The laugh came naturally: Sun was loud and grating in everything, as well as in hilarity, and Asidera laughed in tiny, restrained burst, shoulders shaking just ever slightly, pursing their lips into seriousness once more while Sun was still trying to control himself. 

It was a sort of olive branch, but they didn’t know it could come even in the form of a laugh. 

《 Yeah, I have no idea.》

《 I know I tell you almost twice a week, but maybe a walk in the library would help you getting your head right.》

《 A walk in the library, I might do tha-》

《 A walk in the library meaning staying there a couple of hours researching and roaming through various books that might help you figuring out the mystery, First Eye.》

《 Suddenly, I’m uninterested.》

Asidera sighed, in that kind of exasperated way that Sun achingly missed somehow and didn’t know until he saw his Master rolled their eyes toward the sky, shoulders slumping. 《 First Eye, I know it’s something you don’t like to do, but maybe there is something that might help, since I cannot.》   
  
《 Who said I would need your help?》   
  
《 You always need my help, First Eye, otherwise I wouldn’t be here in the first place.》   
  
Sun turned toward Asidera, ready to get out of the water. 《 Maybe I keep you because out of pity, haven’t you thought of that?》

Asidera turned as well. 《 Oh, should I turn in my resignation, First Eye? I always have the papers with me and I’ve been told I am very much desired in many courts.》

Lea punched them on the arm. He  _ did _ missed them. 

He wrapped a hand around their arm, walking out of the water. For now, Moon’s trial could wait. 《 What would I do without you, my Master of Star?》

《 Probably ruining completely the economy and driving your whole country into a revolution that would result into a coup d’etat, and probably the burning of your castle and the whole kingdom, destroying then-》

《 I didn’t ask for a detailed prevision of the near future, Asidera.》

His Master laughed briefly before returning serious. They rested a hand onto Sun’s, the one wrapped around their arm. 《 I will have to keep the papers for myself a little longer then.》

Sun wholeheartedly agreed. 

*

Things didn’t go any better even with Asidera present, reminding him everyday of his tasks and his appointments and updating Moon constantly about developments. Hearing his voice was even worse: not because he had come to grow a loathing of it, Sun still found his voice like poured down honey. But Moon liked to keep everything so professional and rigid and helping him constantly in understanding better his own lands so that Sun could help him properly.

It has been now nine days and slowly turning into ten. He still had no idea what possibly Moon could have wanted - that one single thing he didn't posses.

《 I will call you in the next few days for updates,》 Sun said in the mask. It was the fifth call that week and Sun's court had started moving to help. That would have been another thank-you call, and not a 'I'm going to help you with the trial because I kind of pity you" kind of call that Sun liked to fantasize about. 《 We're still gathering the materials, but I think we're close to replicate one that could go well for you. I hope the healers I sent you helped.》

Moon made a sound of agreement. 《 They brought everything and more. Thank you.》 Sun wanted to say something, but it was Moon once again to talk. 《 So, did you find it?》

《 What?》

《 The only thing I don't possess.》

Sun cleared his throat, suddenly aware how tight the mask felt around his head - was it always this hot the helmet, he never noticed until now.

《 You know, I think I'm close to the answer but,》 he cleared his throat once more, swallowing down a lump, 《 I want to wait… you know, the right moment.》

Moon made another sound and Lea was surprised in realising he could hear the hint of a smile in that. 《 Building the suspense, I imagine.》

《 I'm big into theatre.》

《 You usually play the jester?》 And even more surprisingly, Moon laughed. It was brief but clear like the time he had been sitting right in front of him, tall and grand and mysterious, with a light laugh and diaphanous skin and a stardust in his hair. The moment died immediately, not even the time for Sun to join in the laugh. 《 I-》 He sounded suddenly insecure. Chastised. 《 First Eye, I apologize if I offended you, it was a silly play from my part.》

《  _ No! _ 》 Lea raised his arm as if he could actually comfort him with his touch. As if he was standing there. 《 No, no, no, sorry, it was not- you didn't offend me, it was actually funny. I was just-》 he searched for the words. 《 I don't usually hear you laughing. You could say I was…  _ moonstruck _ .》

Sun laughed and, as if the day hadn't been surprising enough, Moon joined him. Lea had never seen stars before and yet, in laughing this hard, he was sure they were sparkling in his vision, blinking in front of his very eyes, blinding him. 

《 Well,》 Moon said, returning serious, 《 I must go now. I will wait for your response.》

《 I'm very close to the answer.》

Moon chuckled briefly. 《 I know, First Eye. I know you are.》

When Sun removed the mask, the sound of tiny bells resounded in his ears, so deep into that harmony that Sun forgot he was in the presence of others. The Master of Trade was looking everywhere else but him while Asidera was keeping their eyes levelled with him - it was impossible to understand what was going on in their mind.

《 I'll take my leave,》 the Master of Trade said, basically marching toward the door and closing it fast behind him.

Sun remained with the helmet between his hands for a while, rolling the mask between one another, fixing on a detail before resuming his play. He was not going to be the first one to talk, he knew Asidera had something to say - the right corner of their lips was ever slightly curved upward: the sign they wanted to express a thought and was processing a way to tell it.

《 Your ears are all red.》

Sun shrugged, eyes still on the Mask. 《 Moon said something funny.》

Asidera made a curt movement with their head - something close to a nod but not quite.

The conversation didn't develop further but Asidera kept a close look on him for the whole afternoon, one that seemed close to curiosity but Sun wouldn't go that far.

Sun's mind kept shifting between the conversation with Moon and his trials. Something he didn't possess. Sure, his mind was also focused from time to time to the documents in front of him, spread all over the little desk, but he realised his concentration on the matter at hand kept coming and going - as much as his eyes kept shifting between the parchments and the box Moon gave him and that now rested at the corner of the small table.

He rested his head on his arm, bending his hand down so he could feel his hair under his palm. His back started to complain after few seconds, given how low the desk was. On the window in front of him, Sun could see the ocean.

He imagined his feet dipped into the water and the sand tickling his toes. Maybe the ocean was the right answer. It was as mysterious and blue as the colour of his hair. He shook his head against the arm, hand moving over the box and unclasping it open - not quite, his hair didn't have the same shade and, when Sun took the lock between his fingers, it didn't even feel the cold that the others used to brag about. 

Not that he expected it to be warm like his own.

He put the lock inside the box once more and closed his eyes. The waves were lulling him to sleep and it could feel his hair tickling his palm - he could almost imagining it to be a caress.

_ Bring me the only thing I don't possess.  _

Lea didn't know if it was the cry of the seagulls or the shut of a door downstairs - something triggered the jolt. His back hurt and cracked loudly when he stretched up and, the arm where he had been snoozing on was all tickling. 

Yet, his mind was clear.

《 I'm _so_ _stupid!_》

*

Asidera had just sat down with a book. They should've known it was not meant to last long in Sun's court and yet they still raised their eyes to the sky when Sun came crashing on the seat next to them. 

The Master put on a smile. 《 What is it, First Eye?》

Sun beamed at them. The freckles on his cheeks threatened to blind them and Asidera couldn't even remember the last time they glowed like this.

《 I have the answer.》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title by "talk too much" // COIN


	21. triangles are my favourite shape, three points where two lines meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no alibi for myself, i just struggled to get this out

Lea wasn’t exactly a master of disguise - it could be a hard task for someone as flashy as he was, with his red mane and his bright freckles. Still, he found a way to cover himself well enough not to call eyes upon himself, as he made his way through the lower part of the city, trying to make it seem like he was any man out for a last stroll before hitting the hay. He climbed down the steps, venturing himself into the alley on his right: there was no one around and the plants on either side of the walls creating the illusion that the more he went forward, the more the foliage thickened and darkened, as if entering in the woods. 

He started walking, keeping a hand on the scarf wrapped around the middle of his face, as to cover freckles and lips. The foliage tickled his hand when he ventured further into the alley, the smell of the white flowers hanging loosely onto the higher part of the walls and around the arches almost intoxicating - and yet, uninviting. At some point, Lea had to basically bend down to go forward, the scarf constantly pinched by loose branches. 

The smell of roses advised him that his journey had come to an end and when he moved away a branch, here it was: no matter how many times Lea had visited, he would always find himself struck down by the sheer beauty and freshness of the roses around him, growing in height around the walls of the alley he just left - almost invisible under the foliage - and around the small house in front of him. Above his head, the clear sky - it seemed like the chaos of the city and the town itself couldn’t reach this space, like it was a rip in the space living at its own time, its own rhythm. 

Beside the house, sat comfortably on an armchair and sipping tea, there was a man: his pink hair was hiding half of his face, but Lea knew he was smiling.

« Your tea is getting cold,» the man said when Lea approached the table, keeping a careful watch on his feet, as if he checking he wouldn’t step out of the stone path and walked onto one of his roses. « Took you long enough.» No sound came when he went to rest his teacup onto the plate. 

« Hey, I’m a busy man,» Sun replied, unwrapping his scarf from around his head and letting it fold around his shoulders. The smell coming from the cup told him that was his favourite tea: peach and lemon. A yellow petal floated onto the surface. 

« So what is it this time?»

Sun smiled behind the cup. The content wasn’t cold in the slightest. « Lauriam, you could give me a bit of credit. Maybe I came here to have a chat with you.»  
  
« My place is not sought to “have a chat”, _Lea_.»  
  
Sun didn’t say anything about that: Lauriam wasn’t fae, but sometimes he did wonder how information arrived to him so fast - a human could do so much, after all. 

Lauriam was a reserved man and bizzare wasn’t the right word to use when talking about him - if ever there was someone aside from Sun talking about him. It seemed like nobody actually knew him in the city or anywhere else and his house was a breath of fresh air in the middle of a chaotic city like Solaria. Somehow, birds couldn’t reach this place and yet he could hear the buzzing of the bees, flying from flower to flower. 

Nonetheless, Lauriam had clients. He received people and people paid him for his services; and yet, somehow, if somebody asked around, he would have met silence as an answer. And Lea knew better than to talk about him, especially with Asidera or even with his son. 

Sun didn’t even remember how he met Lauriam back then, neither how old he was when he met Sun. But one thing was sure: Lauriam hadn’t changed in the slightest; always with his pink, long hair covering one side of his face, always the same bright eyes, the same roses growing around him and on the side of his cottage. Always with some strange fabrics with him, like the cardigan all wrapped up around his arms, showing the shoulders. 

« So you know why I’m here,» Sun said, inspecting the pastries on the plates, eyeing one with a marbled surface in the shade of yellow and pink. 

Lauriam smiled, only one corner of his lips visible. « I couldn’t possibly know.»

« You shouldn’t tell lies to your king,» and he proceeded to flip the pastry into the air and catching it with his mouth. A ripple of cream trickled down the side of his mouth.  
  
« A king shouldn’t play with his food, now that you’re talking about etiquette.» Lauriam drew one side of his cardigan up - the fabric looked smooth and almost liquid and Sun was sure he had never seen before that kind of colour, almost iridescent in its shade. « So, Moon summoned you.»

Sun rested his back against the back of the armchair. « He did.»

« So I suppose you’re looking for something specific.»

« And I guess you know how to help me,» Sun replied, « otherwise, you wouldn’t have let me come in.» 

Lauriam mimicked his position: he seemed comfortable and in his element, carefully putting one leg over the other. His hand, dropped to the side of his seat, was brushing mindlessly against the rose under him, fingertips stumbling onto the petals. « Asidera must have told you about the dangers of Moon’s kingdom. Not for yourself, but for his own people. So you thought I might have the solution for that.»

« You don’t?»

Lauriam moved the strand of hair that covered half of his face behind his ear. Sun didn’t expect to see his face, but the metal mask always resulted in a stark contrast against the pink of his hair or the paleness of his face. Only a white rose stumbled in through the hole of the eye, as pretty and fresh as any other in the gardens. Lea focused back onto the only eye he could see.

« Of course I know,» Lauriam said and got up from the table. His clothes seemed centuries old and yet Lauriam made it seem like that was the height of fashion. He could already see nobles throwing money and punches just to be able to get that kind of fabrics, that way of dressing. He circled the table and made a beeline for the door, without waiting for Sun to follow him. He did eventually. 

Lauriam’s house was refined chaos. There were shimmering fabrics spilled everywhere, on every possible surface of the living room - chairs, armchairs, table, the one furniture that should’ve held books had instead stacks upon stacks of rolls of fabrics of every possible colour and shape and cookies boxes that Lea knew for experience didn’t have any actual sweets inside. On one corner of the house there was a spinning wheel: Lea didn’t remember one single time in which that tool was free of any kind of work and this time wasn’t any different. Lauriam seemed to work on a very long scarf this time. 

« Working on something?»

Lauriam kept on walking toward the stairs, not even shooting a look toward the spinning wheel. « You could say that.»

« Close to finish?»

Lauriam chuckled - a thin, eerie thing that made Lea’s skin crawl. « I hope not, Lea.» And he resumed his walk up the stairs, the long cardigan caressing his path. Sun followed him up. 

There was another floor in Lauriam’s house, a canteen, and the one he usually went in when Lauriam called him in to try something new. Yet, this time the path took them upward, in a small room where the air felt stuffed even with the big window open wide. The ray of light coming from outside made the small cut of fabrics around the room shimmer and Lauriam’s cape seemed liquid oozing onto his shoulders. 

Only when Lauriam started searching for something Lea realized that the surface hidden under the stacks of documents and the tools was actually a working table - with a bit of squinting from his part, Sun could make out the legs and maybe a drawer half opened, something similar to twigs popping out of it. 

« So, what did Asidera tell you? About going into Moon’s lands.» Lauriam said, taking a measuring tape and approaching him. He circled it around his head. 

« There’s a chance I might actually harm his people. In my court, they were always covered from head to toe.»

« You must have seen how pale is their skin.»

« How do you know that?»

Lauriam watched him like from his mouth had just slipped the filthiest curse. « Lea, they live in a land with artificial light. It’s not about knowing, it’s about rationalizing what you know about a place and deduce the most obvious conclusions.»

It was pretty much like standing in front of Asidera, no matter where he went, somehow Lea always encountered different versions of his Master of Star - this one just happened to be a man with a mask and a sense of fashion that Lea envied him but dare not to say. 

« So you already have something to give me,» Sun teased him, raising his arm in front of him: the sole thought of having to wear something with long sleeve was making him sweat. 

« Don’t be absurd,» Lauriam replied, distancing from him so that he could go sign something on a piece of paper. « Void is in the details. Give me a few more days.»

« Just a few?»

Lauriam looked at him with the sternest expression he could manage: he was not to be teased like that. Nonetheless, there was something that just lured Lea to jest around, starting from the blank expression Lauriam sported after a joke or the way his hand balled into fists as he was restraining himself. 

« You will receive words from me in five days,» Lauriam repeated, taking the measuring tape into his hands and wrapping their ends around his hand, as if it was nothing more than a fancy bracelet. « So you solved the riddle.»

Lea didn't comment on that nor he questioned how in the world Lauriam knew that: walls had ears to eavesdrop and telltale mouths and unsurprisingly they were all speaking in Lauriam's tongue, understood by him and solely by him.

Sun nodded. « I did,» he couldn't hide the pride in his voice. « It wasn't hard.»

Lauriam raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing. He slid his hair back behind his ear, showing the metal of the mask. If Lea squinted, he could have seen something inside the bud, in the centre of the rose that Lauriam sported as an eye - but the more he focused on the petals, the more uncomfortable he felt, the hair behind his neck all raised and goosebumps all over his skin.

« Will Asidera come with?» asked the dressmaker, leading the way downstairs once more, the long cardigan he was wearing dragging heavily onto the steps. Lea waited few steps behind. 

« No,» he replied. « They won’t.»

« I believe Roxas still has the clothes Moon gave him. He will be fine without my help.» 

Once outside, Lauriam went to lean back against the garden table, tying a knot around his waist and crossing his arms on his chest: their conversation was over and Sun had just to sit tight and wait for whatever thing Lauriam was working on. 

« Are you worried?» Lauriam asked again, tilting his head to the side. Like this, the lock of his hair behind his ear fell forward, a curtain that shaded the mask over his face. Between the strands, Lea could pick up the white of the flower. “That doesn’t suit you, Lea.” 

« I’m not,» Sun replied, holding his head high. « I’m fairly sure I have the right answer.»

Lauriam smiled - a tiny thing that seemed to know far more that Lea could fathom, like he understood creation as a whole. « That’s not what I’m talking about,» he said, taking the cup of tea behind him and taking a sip. It must have been cold already, but the man didn’t seem to care. « And I think you understood my question the first time.»

Sun didn’t say anything to that, like offering blood to a shark. Of course he was worried: he couldn’t show, to Asidera especially after the stunts he pulled, but he had a whole alphabetical lists of worrisome matters. But again, now that he stepped forward he couldn’t go back. Not now that things were actually starting to change for him. For everyone, even though only few could have known that. 

He showed a kind smile. « I’m not worried.»

Lauriam stared at him for a while before nodding his head. 

« You’ll hear from me in five days.» And that was supposedly the end of it. 

Lea didn’t say anything about payment, nor did the dressmaker. He walked toward the entrance filled with vines and bent his head to pass through. He kept on walking until the weeds became more sparse and he could actually start to see the wall. He knew better than to look behind him. When he reached the main street, completely deserted by now, Lea turned back. 

The narrow alley gave way to the other end of the street. Nothing more than that, and yet the smell of roses haunted him well into the hallways of his castle. 

*

_[Moon hadn’t been exactly surprised when Lea told him he solved the riddle. At the same time though, there was something in his voice when he spoke next that betrayed worry and hesitation all together. _

_« Whenever you’re ready,» Moon told him on the other side, a vibration in his voice that wasn’t there before, « come here with your answer and the box I gave you. Bring one witness.»_

_At first, Sun felt like fireworks had just gone off inside of his stomach. But then next came the nervousness, the weight of everything, the worry that maybe he had the wrong answer, maybe he had to go back for another wrong answer, and again, and again for centuries. He felt shame: not because of the need to go back over and over; that was the fun part, the part he was looking forward, because that meant knowing Moon piece by piece. That was shame. Following his hunger and not staying as Asidera wanted. _

_As everyone wanted. _

_Asidera was the first one to know, of course. Always the first in everything, the first choice, the first listening ear._

_« I need a witness,» he smiled at them, « of course you have to come.»_

_On Asidera’s face ran a myriad of emotions in the span of seconds: anger, disappointment, sadness. Nothing of the support Sun wished for before sitting at the table with them. _

_« I can’t come with you, First Eye. I can’t in good conscience.»_

_« But why? I need a witness and you’ve always wanted to visit Moon’s lands, I know this. This is your chance.»_

_« Because I don’t approve of your choice of accepting the wish, First Eye. I came back because I have a duty with the crown. I’m tied to it, I’ll stay by your side no matter what because loyalty and a greater design dictates I stay here. But don’t think for a minute I will ever make peace with this choice.»_

_There was a sting somewhere on his cheek, like Asidera had just slapped him somehow without moving. « You can come and still be unhappy with this.»_

_« I’ll hold my ground, First Eye,” they replied. “Do what you have to. This is my last word.»]_

  


The conversation with Asidera still plagued him, leaving him with a sour taste in his mouth. He should’ve known that the wish was still a touchy subject between them and Asidera would have rather leave it at that, but Sun needed a witness and of course the very first person he thought of having by his side was Asidera - also to try and keep him away from troubles as always. 

His son was his second choice. It took him an entire afternoon to find him and when he did, Roxas was lazily hanging by the net on the ceiling, napping between the flowers petals. Any other father would have waken their own child as gentle as possible. But Asidera had always liked reminding him what kind of debauched father he was. 

He took one of the goblet on the table and aimed - he could see the tuft of his blond hair from there. The goblet hit the skull with a light _pop!, _followed by a welp and a string of words (_hisses_) that Sun didn’t recognize. Unsurpisingly, swearing was something that could go beyond the mere language barrier.

Roxas leaned outside of the net, rubbing the space where the goblet hit him. « Why did you do that?!» 

Sun shrugged. « You were sleeping.» 

« I’m coming down, I’m _done_ with—»

Sun walked under the net, sitting on the closest pillow next to the table. « I need a witness.»

Roxas stopped mid movement, one leg hanging out. « What sort of witness? Wedding or murder?» There was a second of silence from him, followed promptly by, « Or both in that order?»

Lea made a face. « Neither of them?»

The boy sighed a sound that Sun had to read as utter disappointment - he didn’t know want to know the reason why. Roxas sat down at the edge of the net, flowers collecting around him before falling all down on the table. « Suddenly I’m disinterested.»

« Moon summoned me. I solved the riddle, so I guess I will need someone with me, like a witness.»

« Can’t Asidera go with you?»

« I wouldn’t ask you if they could.»

« Fair.» He jumped down from the net, wind catching him way before his feet touched the ground. Sun watched him stumbling a few steps ahead before catching himself straight. « I'll come on one condition.»

Sun sighed, shoulders deflating. He was already regretting the decision. Maybe he should have asked Elrena: she could get quite annoying when talking about weapons, but at least she wasn't that nagging on the matter. But nobody knew anything aside from Asidera and Roxas - and possibly Kairi and Namine, those two gossiping young ladies couldn't have _not_ known by now. 

« I already told you: I cannot share this kind of information.» Unsurprisingly, Roxas was already walking toward the window: now that he had found out his napping spot, he was probably bound to find another where his father wouldn't pester him any further. « But if you come as a witness, you might discover the answer for yourself.»

The boy stopped with a leg already extended out of the window. 

« I mean, he said I need a witness. So I think you'll see the answer for yourself»

Roxas stared at him with blank expression. « And? I want to know now.» 

« Com'on, don't make this harder than it already is. You just have to wait five days more to find out.»

Roxas squinted his eyes at him. « Why five?»

« Moon is very busy at the moment, so he summoned me in five days.» A nice save, he must say. His son would have bought it either way, luckily enough.

The boy thought about it for a while. « Fine. I'll come. But you owe me.»

« First off, I'm your father, so I owe you nothing. Secondly—»

Roxas jumped before he could hear anything else. Sun saw him jump onto the next tower before disappearing once again from view, one arm waving in Sun's direction, the mocking of a goodbye. He should've known better by now: no use of scolding someone who was used to see windows as an easy way out.

Sun sighed, watching the downward spiral of a petal falling from the net up ahead. It fell silently few inches away from his hand, but Lea made no movement to touch it. 

He had a witness. Now he just had to wait. Again.

Sun received news from Lauriam five days later. When he woke up that same morning, there was something bunky on his desk, wrapped in paper wrap. There was no card - just a single, pink rose resting under the thread that tied the package together. Lea didn’t even wonder for a minute how the package found its way to his room or who could have delivered it so stealthily inside without anyone seeing them. He knew better than that in regards of Lauriam. 

Inside there was a long, heavy coat. It had long, big sleeves - all around their hems it was embroidered a thin golden thread, whose designs were very much similar to the star he had on his bracelet. It was a nice touch to add. The hood was the biggest thing Lea had ever laid his eyes upon, large enough to cover completely his hair and then some. He wondered for a moment if that dark green would have suited him, but he knew Lauriam’s work were as efficient as they were aesthetically pleasing - he wouldn’t give him something that would look bad on him. 

He put the coat away, tucked safely away in a bag. Just a few more hours to know if that was the right one and what the future was holding in store for him. The wind may be changing but Lea was hoping it was blowing in his sails. 

*

« People will ask questions.»

Sun was only half listening to their words, buttoning up his jacket as fast as he could – were his fingers always that sweaty?, at least one button every two slipped out of his grasp before sliding it into position.

« I know you will be ready to answer them.»

« Should I tell the truth then?»

Sun stopped halfway from latching the sides of his pants, hair coming down forward like a curtain when he bowed his head. Lea was battling every day a fight he knew he would lose at the start and with Asidera, recently, it felt like that – stupid to fight back and even naive to try and come up with an excuse not to fight in the first place.

« Asidera, don’t make this harder than it already is,» he said, turning around to face them.

It felt humiliating how Asidera stood tall and strong in front of him, a beacon for everyone who looked up at them. Sun felt that way too most of the time, when the table used to deal all the wrong cards and they were there to whisper words of advice in his ears. But not it just felt like a game whose rules Sun didn’t know and the referee was sitting on the other side of the board. Their clothes were all edges and symmetry, all angles and spikes that should have drove Sun away from their advices. The red on them was dark and dripped like old blood – the only point of spark was the few jewels they wore, first and foremost the ring on their ring.

« I’m not,» Asidera replied. They said nothing else.

Sun finished buttoning up his trousers before approaching them. He took their hand and slid their ring away. « I trust you,» he said, bringing the ring to his mouth and breathing on it. The ring gave one single spark, as if it could burst up in flame at once, before subduing into silence. The gold shone bright, but nothing to give out a flame. « I know you will keep up the lie for me.»

Asidera’s hand was warm – but again, every skin was warm or plain out hot to Sun. They didn’t respond when Sun tightened his grip around their fingers.

« They should know. No shadow cast between you and the court. My duty is to make sure things stay like that.»

« I promise I will tell the truth to everyone,» Sun said, slipping the ring again on their finger, watching the easiness with which the ring locked in, as if that was its rightful place and Asidera should never part with it lest incurring in some ancient curse. « Let me have this. Just this one, tiny thing, Asidera, and I will not ask you nor my people anything more.»

Asidera watched him silently and for one single moment, Sun really thought of knowing heartbreak just by looking at them.

« I will tell your lies, First Eye,» Asidera replied, a smile with nor mirth on their lips, « just be careful.»

Sun smiled. He kissed the ringed finger and then inched closer for a kiss on the cheek, nothing more than a peck but Lea hoped they could feel even a quarter of the affection Sun had for them.

« Help me with the hair.»

Asidera did and not once did they complain about the knots. The Master of Star worked silently. Sun didn’t have the heart to talk either. 

*

When Sun gave the news, he was already dressed for the journey. His hair were tied in a tight ponytail and strapped on his shoulder there was a low bag, somewhat bulky for its contents. His court studied his clothes like it was the first time they’ve seen him dressed like that – it was one of the few times, so Sun couldn’t exactly blame them. Asidera, standing on his right, was regarding everyone with that kind of acceptance a kid called forth by a teacher might have.

The people around him had started whispering way before he had ushered a single word. Even, as usual, he was the only person not looking even remotely interested in the whole thing, smoking quietly from his mouthpiece and scanning the room with lazy expression.

« I’m leaving Asidera in charge for the next five days. I have matters to attend to in Moon’s lands.»

« And won’t you tell us what kind of matters drives you there like this?» asked Elrena, crossing her arms, an arrogant smile on her lips. She had noticed the way he was dressed, as if he was willing to ride on his own, and the single bag he was sporting.

« I’m going there to see how Moon is faring. He expressively asked me to go alone or either with another person. Only one, not an entire court.»

« And exactly,» Elrena said, moving her head toward Asidera, eyes spotting the ring on their finger, the way their clothes seemed to carry a certain gravity with them, « why don’t you bring Asidera with you? It’s your Master of Star, First Eye. Surely they should be the one going with you.»

« I asked my dad to go with him.»

Lea – and many other heads around him – turned to look at the figure approaching the group. Roxas had a satchel strapped at his side, barely hidden under the wide white shirt. He was eyeing Elrena with innocence of a child, the corner of his lips turned upward and hands hidden behind his back.

« And I have things to attend here, Elrena, matters that Windriser couldn’t take care of alone.»

Elrena didn’t seem close to finish. « He can take care of architectural plans and planning with the Masters of Trades and now he can’t stay alone for five days?» Her eyes didn’t move from Roxas. « Bizarre at best, if I might say.»

Sun had no time for this. He was already late and he had at least two days of travel ahead of him. And Elrena was trying his patience hard enough to feel his clothes getting warmer by the seconds. Kora and Leni, who were standing in the front of the whole group, looked as if the air could be cut with a butter knife, torturing their hands and occasionally looking up at Sun as he could give them some words of encouragement.

He couldn’t.

« If you have something to say, Master of Steel, spit it out,» Asidera butted in before Sun could come up with an excuse. « We have much work to do today and your questions are dragging to say the least. Speak up and be done with it so we can come back to our schedule.»

« And mine, as well, you all tire me out, » Even muttered under his breath, taking a long drag of his cigarillo. The smoke was enough to make everyone around him cough and wheeze. The smell this time reminded Sun very vaguely of vanilla. « Have a safe travel, First Eye. May you watch us close from afar,» he barely bowed before leaving the group and with him another couple of people – Kora and Leni basically sprinted out toward the kitchens.

Elrena stayed silent for a long time, squaring up her shoulders. She looked like she still had something to say: no one was surprised by the notion. Yet, instead of saying something else, the Master of Steel bowed her head deep and straightened up right again. « Apologies, First Eye. I crossed the line. Be safe,» then she turned toward Windriser and smiled wide, « won’t you say anything else, Rox?»

Roxas smiled politely, lips sealed shut. He left first.

Sun sighed out a sound of relief when Elrena walked away, like a lift had been lifted from his shoulders. The flames on the tips of his fingers slowly quietened down. He was already regretting the choice of having his legs wrapped in that fabric – but again, he didn’t exactly have any other choices. No way he would have worn a dress.

« You better leave,» Asidera told him, walking him toward the entrance of the palace and down the stairs. On the pavement, surrounded by curious kids, his golden chocobo was waiting – the stead that would have granted him a fast travel. Roxas was sitting on the last three steps, showing a few tricks to the kids around. Sun saw a paper plane shot toward the sky when they were finally able to approach him.

« Are you alright, Windriser?» Asidera was the first one to ask.

Roxas nodded his head, but said nothing.

« Here,» Sun looked the Master of Star rummaging around the inside pockets of his long overcoat, one pocket first then another, then another. Lea wondered for a moment how many minutes could go by before Asidera could find what they were looking for. They took something out after a full minute of research: just a handkerchief. When they opened it up, inside there were just a couple of green stems with few white buds. Asidera handed a stem to the boy, saying, « it helps with the pain. Keep it under the tongue.»

Roxas showed a thumb up, nodding his head.

Sun looked at him while he tore the stem with his teeth. « You sure you want to come with me?»

« It’s just a burn, you know how it is when I lie» he said behind gritted teeth, but he looked like every word he said was causing him pain. He got up without another word and fixed the bags on either side of the saddle – even though there was no reason to, but Sun recognized it as a way to get out of the conversation.

« It should pass in a few hours, First Eye,» Asidera told him, walking with him toward the chocobo. They offered him a hand when he needed to get up on it, a kindness that Sun accepted just to have a point of connection between them more than an actual help. A memory of the closeness they’ve been used to since forever and that now seemed nothing more than a pale memory. « Keep an eye on him. And be safe.»

« You, too,» Lea said, taking the reins into one hand, « it’s just a few days, Asidera.»

« I know,» but it sounded like they actually didn’t.

And so Sun left with the cheering of his people behind his back and his eyes fixed on the distant horizon.

*

Gold chocobos were a treat for someone who wanted to travel fast as Lea desired. They usually got tired later than the rest of their kind, but they couldn’t bear much weight unlike their green counterparts. Nonetheless, Sun travelled feeling the wind in his hair and the sight of the Veil getting closer and closer by the hour. For most of the journey, Sun got used to see his son rarely, watching Roxas jumping up once before disappearing from view – if he wanted to, he would have been able to reach the Veil in two hours tops; instead, he wilfully decided to travel by his father’s side, no matter if that entailed being seen maybe once every three hours (the time for him to get bored before coming down to pester his father a couple of minutes before disappearing from view again).

« I think Ophelia is tired,» Roxas commented upon coming down, his feet barely making any sound when he touched the ground. It seemed like the herb Asidera gave him helped him, now – unluckily for Sun – able to talk.

He wasn’t wrong: Ophelia had indeed started to slow down the pace ever so slightly. Sun slowly reined Ophelia in, coming to a stop. They were halfway through Semna when Sun stopped: the only thing close to them was the river the crossed the region. In the distance, Lea could see the shadow of a town, but he wasn’t in the mood of bothering his citizen to get free accommodation and food – and he knew he would, no matter if he insisted to pay like everyone else.

« I thought you would have raced me to the Veil,» Lea said to his son. He removed the bags from Ophelia’s back so she could go toward the river without any weight on her.

Windriser shrugged. « What’s the fun in that? I knew I would have won,» Roxas said, rummaging through bags Sun held, almost plunging his head inside. He picked the satchel with the dried meat and threw it away with a “yikes”.

« Hey, that’s mine, com’on!»

« Go fetch your dinner, murderer, _oof_!»

Lea walked toward the small satchel, bags now thrown with minimum grace in his son’s arms. « You wouldn’t have done that with Asidera.» Saying their name didn’t hurt as much as he first thought.

« Because I actually have some respect for Asidera,» Roxas commented, taking out a couple of clementine from the bag and dropping it on the ground. He took a bite from it, skin and seeds whole. « Aren’t you worried?»

Sun tore a piece of the dried meat. « Why should I?»

« I don’t know, the trials? The fact that this is the first time you go into Moon’s kingdom? Or maybe— Ophelia, _no_, this is mine,» Windriser tried to draw himself back while Ophelia’s beak inspected close whatever thing he had between his hands. « Or maybe your discussion with Asidera?» He asked, craning his neck to the side while keeping his clementine out of reach. Ophelia followed it relentlessly.

« Asidera is just—» Lea said, rolling between his fingers the dried meat. « They’re just worried because of the state of things. And I get them. But I want something for me this time. I promised them I will tell everyone the truth one day and— Roxas, just give her a piece.»

Ophelia opened up her beak wide, letting out a sad _qweh!._ Roxas was just as restless. « No, this is mine, she’s got all these nice grass but no, she wants the thing I have in my _han_— don’t you _dare_ looking at me like that, I don’t buy it.»

He did buy it.

Lea saw him with the corner of his eye slipping her the pieces of the clementine when he turned his head toward the Veil. She scuttled away happily.

They didn’t talk much after that, just piece and scraps of conversation that brought them nowhere. Roxas was the first one to fell asleep as soon as his head touched Ophelia’s side, her neck craned toward him. Sun took a long time to fall asleep, his skull a cacophony of thoughts.

When he finally gave in, Sun was sure he heard Moon’s voice in his ears.

They arrived at the Veil at the start of the third day, in the early hours of the morning. They both had already changed in heavier clothes and, Sun had to admit, the coat Lauriam had given him fitted him like a glove. And the green suited him, but that shouldn’t have surprised him that much.

Sun jumped down from his stead, walking toward the Veil. Now that he was standing close, he could see what a masterpiece of architecture that was: he couldn’t even perceive an end to that arch, let alone seeing it. The two statues on the side were immobile, seemingly frozen in time. Sun didn’t remember a single moment of his existence when those statues weren’t there, waiting for someone at the end of the horizon. He felt so little under their gaze, but when Lea spoke his voice didn’t waver.

« Guardians!»

The two guards turned their heads toward him, as if regarding an ant.

« Let me through.»

The guardians tapped their lances on the ground. The impact sounded much like an earthquake. « And who are you to _demand_ such a thing?»

For a moment his view wavered, like all around him became red and gold before his very eyes, nothing but the sparks and the flames. His clothes felt too tight and his flesh too tiny, too weak to contain him. Taller and stronger and bigger and still him, with his feet planted firmly to the ground and his skin too hot not to spark a wildfire. Lea wasn’t even sure the voice that came out was his own, nor if the words actually came out of his mouth.

_I was the First to gaze upon this World. Let me through._

The guardians didn’t speak, but the mirror before him broke like a glass and dropped like a flood that never came.

Sun looked down at himself. Still him.

On the other side, there where the sky should have been clear blue and the grass bright green, there was nothing but darkness.

Roxas reined Ophelia forward. She didn’t look quite sure of the boy’s decision. « Let’s go,» he said, without waiting for his father. He just took a step forward and went on ahead.

Sun stood there, frozen. Now that he was there, he couldn’t go back – the flames that ignited him before were gone and now only the smoke was left, not even ashes. He didn’t even feel tall or strong or above anyone else. He just felt like a kid who was willing to go on a big adventure, but now that he had the new in front of him, he didn’t feel quite sure of himself. Was that really what he wanted? Was it even worth questioning himself now, with the spell broken right in front of his feet and the cold slowly seeping in?

_No turning back now. _

No questioning now. If he was there, that meant he had already decided. Fear had no place here.

He brought up his hood and stepped forward.

If Sun had felt small before, now he had really the feeling of being an ant in front of something greater and inexplicable. Lea’s eyes were entirely transfixed by the sky above – the dark blue, the shots of colours, the sheer and raw _beauty_ of it. Sun had known breath-taking sights: he must have been short of words when he had seen his cape, even though he didn’t remember it; it must have been marvellous seeing Meridian’s walls or seeing the rainbow fishes in Suzhou.

He couldn’t recall those memories because how far they were and how little he remembered from past lives. But he also knew nothing could have come closer to that sky.

The white dots beyond the shots of colour were similar to the small, white flowers Namine and Kairi kept in the greenhouse. But these were brighter and somehow far more feeble and fragile, like if Sun looked too close, too long, those dots would have shattered in front of his very eyes.

He breathed out a sound that could have been a laugh, but came out as a wheeze.

_So that’s what he’s hiding. _

« First Eye.»

Sun lowered down his gaze. Moonlight was standing right next to Roxas. Lea wondered for a moment how long had they been waiting for him to say anything at all.

« Are you alright, First Eye?»

Sun shrugged. « Yeah, like… peachy.» But his eyes kept going from Xion to the sky almost constantly. Just after a few second he noticed his son pointing a finger to his own cheeks, eyes blown out as if that was urgent. Sun brought his fingers to the cheek and almost jumped when he found them wet with tears. He wiped them dry quickly with the sleeve of his coat, smiling all the way through as if that could hide the embarrassment of it.

Xion approached him with a dark scarf between her hands. « First Eye, I advice you to put this around your neck and face,» she said as soft as she could. There was a flush of pink on her cheeks. « I hope you don’t find it offensive. It’s… your freckles. They’re very bright.»

Sun wrapped the scarf quickly around him. For the first time in his life, Lea didn’t feel hot, but comfortably… fine. Lukewarm wasn’t even the right word, he was just… fine was the perfect word for it.

« I’ll accompany you to my father. Follow me close.»

Sun and Roxas (and Ophelia) followed her into the city. Sun didn’t quite expect this opulence from Moon and that was the only word that might come to mind while looking around, the starking white, the tall glass of the churches, the high roofs of the houses. Sun walked around feeling like the cape wasn’t enough, that somehow, from the way people turned around to look at Moonlight and the two following behind, they knew that something was off.

Roxas too walked with the hood all up, hiding well under the scarf his gold locks.

« I feel like a thief,» he whispered to Lea, watching Xion holding hands with an old woman before letting go once again and marching toward the castle. « Do you think people know?»

« Nobody except my father is expecting your visit,» Xion said when they were out of earshot. « And if I may, First Eye, you did a fine job of masking yourself.»

« He… actually did,» Roxas commented, turning his head toward his father as if noticing for the first time the coat that shielded him. « I’ve honestly never see this before.»

« You remember wrong, this is one of my most refined pieces,» and sprinted forward as to follow Xion close. They left Ophelia in the stables, in her own stall, and then they were off.

Slipping inside the castle was a hard task. Sun wasn’t exactly flashy dressed like that, but his height drew attention, especially when accompanying Moonlight. Roxas, on the other hand, had no trouble making himself seen – everyone seemed to know him and shook hands as if he was welcomed inside the court whenever he liked. Xion dragged them away, going up and up the stairs.

The corridors weren’t exactly dark, but Sun’s eyes had trouble getting used to it nonetheless, even with the torches hanging from the walls. The windows were shut closed and the curtains were much heavier than the ones billowing in the winds back home.

« In here,» Xion said, opening up the door and letting them walk inside. She closed the door behind herself.

And there was Moon, sitting on a throne with a back so talk Sun could spot every single detail etched into the marble. Moon was covered in heavy, long clothes, creating a ripple of fabric around his feet and the base of his throne. A white circle covered his forehead, a crown that reminded Sun of the detail that was etched into the mask. In front of his face, the usual dark veil that concealed him from sight. There was no one else in the room.

« First Eye,» Moon said and there was something in his voice that betrayed a hint anticipation. Sun drew his scarf down, the specks of gold projecting games of light onto the walls and the floor. « You came.» He turned his face toward Roxas. « Hello, Windriser.»

The boy at Sun’s side bowed his head. « Silver Light.»

There was silence for a moment only.

« Did you bring me what I asked for, First Eye?»

Sun nodded. « I did.»

Moon raised his arm toward him. When he did, Sun got the chance to see the graceful bump of his wrist, the translucent skin. He never noticed how slender his fingers were until he crooked one finger in.

« Give Xion the box I gave you. And to me,» he said, « your answer.»

Sun opened up the bag, now way lighter than it was before. He took out the box and handed one to Xion, the one that kept closed and safe Moon’s lock of hair. Xion took it between careful fingers, opening up the lid with such a carefulness Sun wasn’t sure anymore of its content. The lock of hair was still neatly wrapped around the silver thread, despite the numerous times Sun had touched it and felt it under his fingers.

Moonlight showed the lock at him like it was the first time.

Sun was sure it was, because one second it was only hair, a strange gift from a far off world. But then Xion closed his palm around it and a blinding white light slipped between her fingers. Sun squinted his eyes at it.

He closed his eyes one moment. When he opened them up again, floating above Xion’s palm, there was a white dot, no bigger than the bud of baby’s-breath. But its light was almost blinding, hard to look at up close.

« You had _that_ in that box?» Roxas asked after a moment of stunned silence.

« No, of course not, it was just—»

« It’s my father’s gift,» Xion said. « When you’ll have all the answers, First Eye, this will become a wish. But until then, this is just your star.» And let the gift slid into the box once again. When she closed the lid, none of that light came out. It was just a regular chest.

She handed it back to Sun with a big smile on her face.

« What is your answer, First Eye?» Moon asked once again, tilting his head to the side.

« You asked me to bring you something you don’t posses,» Sun explained, slipping a hand inside the bag, distractively. « But there are a ton of things you don’t have and none of that was the right answer.»

« So you think you have the right answer in your bag?» Moon asked.

« I do.» And from his satchel, Lea took out a dagger and cut a strand of his own hair. Xion was too stunned to say or do anything, standing on her place beside her father in silence; Roxas, on the other hand, flailed his arms a moment before holding his head between his hands, defeated. Lea was sure he heard the words “Asidera” and “kill” whispered to himself.

« This,» Sun said, holding his red lock in his fist, « this represents everything you don’t possess. You don’t know warmth, and this will provide a shadow of it. It will never lose its colour, nor will he grow cold until I draw breath. It represents everything that I have. This is my answer.»

For a long while, Moon remained in silence, for so long Sun felt awkward staying frozen in there with his hand wrapped around his hair. Lea was already thinking about what to tell his court when Moon started chuckling. It was something soft until it turned into a breeze, a wave, a flood.

Moon laughed and laughed and Sun couldn’t do anything but stay still and listen to these tiny, resounding bells. Finally, after the longest time, Moon nodded. Nothing more than a minute movement of the head and yet, Sun felt it on his skin like a blessing.

« Acceptable.»

*

« Well, this went swelling, » First Eye huffed, putting his hands on his hips and smiling wide. Roxas on his side wasn’t of the same advice, looking defeated and just sad about the whole matter. Moonlight smiled at him when they exchanged look. « Now what?»

Moon crossed his hands on his lap. Smiling had become an easier thing to do, he could feel his cheeks hurting by now. « Now, if our children want to excuse us, I will tell you what’s your next trial is going to be,» and eyed Moonlight for just one second before she moved toward Windriser. She took him by the hand and walked him outside, words and questions already spilling out of her lips before she had the time to close the door behind her.

Alone finally.

Moon wished Sun could actually see his smile. But he was unresponsive, standing there but saying nothing. One side of his hair didn’t match the other now and Moon briefly wondered how his court would have reacted to that sight, how would he explained that mess.

Sun beamed at him, arrogance making him bolder, somehow more… dashing to the eye. When he smiled that way, his eyes squinted. It was a good look on him. Moon caught himself before dwelling on it too longer. « What should I bring you next?»

Moon shook his head briefly. « Remember,» he said, « you can take as much time as you desire.»

Sun waited.

« This time,» Moon said, « this time I will ask you to search for something.»

« What is it?»

Moon smiled. And this time, Sun almost seemed to see it.

« Find my heart, First Eye.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> titles by "tessellate" // alt-j


	22. 'cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and nothing seems enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, im starting to see double rn and this chapter is sadly so much unedited, im sorry for eventual mistakes

She could see the curiosity eating Roxas alive, with his ear turned toward the door to catch any important detail from the other side. Xion took his hand and tugged him forward, making him almost stumble into his own feet.

« Wanna see the city? I saw a couple of stands in the side streets.»

« But,» and he looked at the door one more time, as he could will it open. Xion tugged him forward once more, more insistently.

« It’s not that interesting as you might think.»

« I seriously doubt that.»

« If you come with me,» said Xion, « I will show you something far more interesting.»

« And _I_ bet you can’t.»

Xion stared at him for a moment. She knew he wanted to play tricks and she was happy to oblige. That was her home and her people: she knew what they had to offer, the wonders they could show to foreigners and locals alike.

« Let’s bet then,» she replied, crossing her arms. « I have something way more interesting to show you than whatever is happening beyond that door.»

« What are we going to bet?»

« If you show even the slightest hint of curiosity toward something, I win.»

« That’s unfair!» Windriser threw his arms up, frustrated. « Of course I will find something curious here!»

Xion huffed an exasperated sigh. « Fair,» she replied. « Alright, then you don’t have to ask any question about what I’m going to show you. Otherwise, I win.»

Roxas shrugged. « Fine. No questions. What are the stakes?»

Xion stopped for a second to think about it. « If I win,» she said slowly, finger tapping onto her bottom lip. But the answer came easy to her, « you’ll have to bring something back for Namine. From me.»

Windriser raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing. There was a small smile forming at the corner of his lips, like he was about to say something or bite a remark but stepped back before giving his mouth the chance to run. « Alright,» he replied, crossing once again his arms. « And if I win?»

« If you win, you’ll receive a gift.»

« That’s a bit general, don’t you think?»

Xion extended her arm toward him, palm to the side, ready to shake hands on it. She could feel a slight vibration in her legs, crawling all the way to her back. Xion couldn’t have known but any other parent, by looking at her shining eyes and big smile, would have called that excitement. « Deal?»

Windriser sighed. He stared at her hand first – so pale in comparison to his own complexion – then he moved his eyes toward hers. He smiled but he seemed like he was struggling to contain enthusiasm. He shook her hand. « Deal.»

She grasped his wrist, her smile so big she could feel the corners painfully pulling almost. « Com’on then!» and they both rushed along the halls and down the stairs, saying a quick hello and bye to Terra when they passed him by. Windriser didn’t even have the time to say anything or even bow his head in salute, a hand carefully planted onto the scarf wrapped around his head.

Io wasn’t a pretty city as Solaria were – it wasn’t open and inviting and people did not use their terraces to grow gardens or vegetables. The cobbles didn’t feel warm under their feet and there were no bridges. The city was built with houses close to each other, with tight side alleys and high walls. There were no plants growing on the side, only naked and raw stone – the only thing connecting each side were the strings where the flags rested.

Xion had learnt how to appreciate every single detail that made Io the city that it was – starting from the big buildings in the city with no roof, impossible to fix and unfit for inhabitation, and so transformed into a food market, where everything was a shout and an invite and coin was quick spent; the lamps scattered along the streets where men and women climbed on top of to light up the ways; the roofs so close together people have started at some point to build some sort of bridge so they could connect each other, places for kids to run away from parent and lovers meet.

Xion turned abruptly to the left, into an alley. She bowed her head to salute an old man ( _« Up and about for business, Moonlight?» « Just out for a stroll.»_) and then continued on.

« Can I at least know where—» Windriser started asking before catching himself when Xion turned to him, « no, no, _I know _where we’re going.»

Xion laughed. « You’ll see when we’ll arrive, but you will like it.»

Once out of the alley, the main street opened up in front of them: the houses were built on each side, one more elegant than the other – one had a tower cornering the street, Xion could see two women resting on the banister of the window, watching down the street to the people walking by. The few shops that still needed reparations had decided to put their stands in the street, hanging their stuff onto the side of the tents or draping their tables with cloths – Xion saw with the corner of her eye the way Windriser leant to the side ever so slightly, eyes trying to catch onto some curious trinket.

Xion laughed, pulled him once. « It’s just up ahead!»

The place Xion was so eager to show him was what appeared to be a church – rundown, with holes in its windows and no doors at the entrance. It was crowning the end of the main street, just on the side of it, surrounded by smaller buildings. The blue flags draping down one its sides were frozen still – there was a writing on it, threaded in silver: _fallen market_.

« I’m not actually a devoted type—» Windriser told her, when they resumed a more controlled walk, like they were really out for a stroll like she said earlier to that man in the alley.

Xion shook her head. « This stopped to be a church a long time ago, Windriser,» she said, pointing at the flags. They stopped in front of what remained of the window – coloured shards onto the side that would show an image no more. « This is a market. It was once the House of the Remembrance. But—» Xion rubbed the space behind her head, flustered. « Something happened.»

Windriser looked at her, but not once his mouth dared to put out a question. She chuckled, rubbing her hands onto the sides of her legs, nervous.

« I…» she started saying, scratching the side of her nose. « I crashed the roof when I came back once. I don’t know what happened exactly, I usually come back in the star field, but that time I guess… I got the coordinates wrong? I woke up and half of the roof and the framework was missing. The Witness was mostly crossed with me.»

Roxas was trying hard to hide the smile, putting a hand on his lips like thinking, looking pensive. « Mh,» he mustered up, finger scrunching up his lips as to seal them close. « Way to make an entrance,» and he burst into a fit of laughter like that was the most hilarious joke he has ever heard of.

« Don’t laugh, the people around really thought it to be an earthquake or something,» but Xion had a smile on her lips as well, standing still when Roxas put a hand on her shoulder as to support himself.

« I’m sorry, _I’m sorry_, I just—» and wheezed something else that never reached Xion’s ears.

« Shall we go inside instead of laughing at me for something I couldn’t control _one time_?»

Windriser thumbed away a tear on the corner of his eyes, smiling big. « Please, do lead the way.»

They walked in, Roxas still trying to regain his composure and fixing up the scarf around his hair, stuffing the blond tuft well behind the cloth. Inside, the market was bustling with life: on each side of the church, there were stands with fabrics and food and trinkets that Xion was sure Windriser had never seen in his life until that moment. Up ahead, where there was supposed to be the whole roof, just half of it remained, the stars peeking out of the hole Xion create in another life with her fall.

People were scattered everywhere around the stands, casual and usual shoppers wandering around the isle.

« Moonlight!»

Xion turned around, trying to spot a familiar face in the crowd. And there he was, behind a stand on the left side, waving his arm and gesturing her to come closer.

She approached him and gave him a big smile. « Demyx. I’m so glad to see you. I thought you were still in the healer’s quarter.»

He shrugged. « They were fed up with my singing, I guess. And I’m fit as a fiddle, I’m a big boy, you know?»

Demyx was a strange man: he must have been no younger than thirty years old and Moonlight didn’t remember a single week where Demyx wasn’t trying to sell his instruments at the fallen market. He had his circle of clients, but Xion guess it wasn’t that large of a circle – she had to admit he was rather good in his job, even though, at a first glance, he might have looked immature and lacking skill.

« Don’t believe his lies, WIndriser,» Xion said, leaning to the side toward the boy, « I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone sing better than our Demyx. He can weave you a thrilling story.»

Demyx shrugged like it was nothing, but Xion could spot the pink shade colouring his pale cheeks. « Flatterer,» he extended his hand toward Windriser to wrap it around his forearm in salute. « So you’re Windriser.»

« Roxas is fine.»

« Where do you come from, Roxas? You’re not from around here,» Demyx said, sitting down on a crate and grasping something that roughly seemed like an air instrument – he was working his way through carving some hole on the surface, eyes scanning the wood. He looked like he wasn’t that much interested in the answer.

« I come from… afar,» he replied, not willing to share more.

Demyx chuckled under his breath, putting the stick between his teeth. He took out a knife and started smoothing the surface once again, steering clear of the holes. « Don’t we all?»

« I’m showing him around, Demyx, and we’re on a tight schedule,» Xion intervened before other questions could come up again. « Thank you for your time. May your path scattered with stars.»

« Bye-bye, Moonlight and Windriser,» sing-sang behind them, but Xion was already out of earshot to respond back.

« Demyx told me he was a bard in a fae court once,» Xion told Roxas when they resumed their walk around the market, wrapping an arm around the boy. When she did, Windriser put a hand on hers, as to keep her close among the crowd. « He came here just ten years ago, in search for a new life. And I think also in need of protection: he looked miserable when he came here. Lonely. I vouched for him when he came to our court., I couldn’t send him away.»

« Do you know whose fae court he was working for?»

Xion shook her head. « I didn’t ask. I don’t know if that’s a subject he wants to face with me.»

If he had something to say, he would’ve come willingly to her to let her know – otherwise, Xion didn’t feel like imposing with nagging questions, no matter how curious she still was even after ten years since his coming into the city of Io. The most important thing was watching him accomplished and serene, making what made him happy and surrounded by people who didn’t feel threatening to his wellbeing.

She returned with her attention to Roxas. « Ah, but you asked a question!»

Windriser clicked his tongue. « It wasn’t about the market!»

Xion huffed an exasperated sound, but she couldn’t hide the smile on her lips. « Fine. You get a pass.»

« Oh, so _merciful_ of you.»

Xion was sure that she had never laughed as much as she did on that day.

*

« Your heart?»

Moon nodded once. « Can you retrieve for me?»

Sun looked taken aback for a moment, like he wasn’t exactly sure what to respond.

Moon smiled behind the veil. « I’m sure you will know the answer, First Eye,» he rose from his throne, going down the three steps to approach him. When he did, his long cape slid down with him. It was so heavy he could feel pressure around his shoulder and the base of his neck. The heaviness of the rest of his clothes didn’t help. « You never fail to surprise me.»

« Do I?» First Eye asked, a hint of a shock in his voice.

« Yes,» Moon replied, standing maybe one foot away from him. Up this close, Moon could recall the warmth felt in Sun’s chamber, the thrill of chasing it down on his skin, to drink it all up and treasure it. « But don’t get ahead of yourself. I read that many usually give up at the second trial, too eager to have the wish.»

« Is eagerness a punishable crime now?»

« Only with failure. Hardly any violence.»

« I feel like my pride might be bruised. Isn’t that a kind of violence?»

Moon leant in close just an inch, maybe _barely an inch_, close but not close enough to feel _warm_ all over, to have a taste of what it meant having that kind of lightness around oneself. « Then I advise you not rush into easy answers, First Eye.»

Maybe he had crossed the line by speaking so close, as if this was nothing less than a banter between friends and Sun was meant to be teased and tricked and made fun of. But Moon was feeling bold this night and Sun was showing that big, _bright_ smile on his face, all white teeth, all squinty eyes gleaming with arrogance. Up this close, Moon could see the green of his eyes – no colour in his lands would have come close; the sparkles in his freckles, like someone had dipped shards of gold under his skin. He had seen them shining bright and giving games of lights back into Solaria: now, in this dark space that was the throne room, it seemed like the day had walked in.

« Is it uncomfortable?» First Eye asked, pulling up the scarf.

« No,» Moon shook his head, « it is not. It’s just… different.»

Even by hiding beneath the scarf, Moon just knew Sun was smiling. « They respond to my mood. As anything, to be fair. When I’m restless, they bright up the whole room.»

Moon had to agree. He remembered.

« Asidera always scolds me because of that, but I can’t help it.»

« Scolds you?» Moon asked, surprised. « Like a child?»

First Eye nodded, laughing – the sound almost muted behind the cloth. « I actually feel like a child with them. But I know they mean well.»

Moon nodded. The silence that followed wasn’t awkward nor it needed to be filled with words. Somehow, Moon felt comfortable in his quietness and Sun, for once, was silent as well. He was regarding Moon with interest and curiosity, but no question was raised.

_When exactly our conversations became so… easy? _

The knocks on the door felt like an earthquake, making them both jump.

« Silver Light?» It was Terra. The timing was killer.

« I suggest you to cover up your flaming mane, First Eye,» Moon murmured, taking two careful steps back, « red hair isn’t exactly common in my kingdom.»

Sun complied, taking all the way up the hood of his coat. Covered up like this, Moon struggled to spot his red hair and his freckles were well concealed by the dark fabric of the scarf Xion gave him. When Sun raised his head to show the eyes, he gave Moon a wink.

« Come in, Terra.»

The Master of Land came in, hand behind his back. He first bowed his head toward Moon, then he did the same with the guest. « Apologies for intruding, Celestial. The Council is waiting for you.»

« I will be down in a minute. Terra, before leaving, can you go retrieve the book from my chamber, please? It’s the one on the desk, buried under the papers. I’ll walk our guest to the entrance.»

« Right away. Furthermore, I believe your daughter left for the market.»

« A bit of fresh air will do her good,» he made a minute movement with the head toward First Eye. « Follow me.»

When they walked outside the room, Terra went right, leaving them alone once again. Sun followed him right away when Moon took the right, walking toward the entrance of his castle.

« I want to give you back the book your Librarian has borrowed me. It was a rather interesting read.»

« You can keep it, if you want. I have so many and I’m not exactly the bookworm type.»

Moon smiled behind the veil. « I insist. You might find the read enlightening. It has everything I love about fairytales and legends. You have a rich history.»

« Asidera tells me the same thing. Then forces me to read twenty books.» And Moon could hear in his tired voice the weight of those books.

He smiled. « I think your Master of Star and I would get along rather well.»

« You would!» Sun was quick to agree, turning around for a second before resuming his walk. « You’re both reserved and you both open up after a while. Then you start to tease and then I know you’re more comfortable.»

« I didn’t tease you.»

« You said I sounded like a jester.»

« _That_—» Moon felt his cheeks burning up and he knew Sun’s closeness had nothing to do with it. « That was a mistake from my part. It was childish.»

« So you agree.»

Moon turned toward him, stopping in front of the entrance of his palace, First Eye at his left. « On what?»

Sun squinted his eyes – and Moon knew that was his smile. « That you’re more comfortable now.»

Moon didn’t want to agree. Hated to agree that somehow, someone, had sneaked his way in, past his defences and his coldness, to nestle in and waiting for the right moment to breach the wall. But Sun’s eyes were the green of his fields and the freckles on his cheek, concealed behind the cloth, were shining like a whole galaxy and there was a spark into First Eye’s eyes that spoke of easiness and openness and _that trust_. It made Moon want to relax his shoulders and exhale.

He made him want to trust again somehow.

Moon was about to say something – biting back that trust, taking a step back from the place of easiness Sun had brought him. Everything out of the window the moment the doors opened up.

Xion had a smile to match Sun – all teeth and gums, eyes so bright that Moon wouldn’t have been surprised if she just had started weeping right here and there. « I brought Windriser to the market. He liked it. And he lost a bet.» He approached First Eye and presented him the tiny chest he had given her earlier, the one with his gift inside. « I think this is yours, First Eye. I wouldn’t dare making you part from this.»

First Eye took the box from her hands, stuffing it into an inside pocket of his coat. « Lost a bet?» Sun asked, turning his gaze toward his son. « That is new.»

« Oh, _shut up_.»

« That means, you’ll have to keep your end of the bargain,» Xion told him, sprinting up the stairs. « Wait here!»

Sun walked his way toward his son, elbowing to the side. « So you’ve lost a bet—»

« If you don’t stop right away, I’m gonna call Vanitas,» Windriser spoke between his teeth, wailing his arms around when Sun ruffled the hood of his scarf just with the intent to rile him up.

It came to him that this was the first time Moon had seen such a relationship: nothing like the one he and Xion had, basically in symbiosis with one another, careful around each other like walking on a rope. But Sun and his son had the kind of relationship that close friends have each other: teasing and joking around until actual support is needed – because Moon had seen the way Sun watched him, the way he talked about him: like love was impossibly vast and there was so much he could show.

« Celestial.»

Terra was back: he had a book in his hand and was smiling down at Windriser.

« Windriser. So that was you.»

The boy pulled up his scarf as it could hiding him any better.

« Did you have fun at the market?»

Windriser nodded, looking like he was misplaced, suddenly feeling awkward, like being there was a mistake.

« The book you requested, Celestial,» Terra said, passing the book to Moon. « Isn’t this the book First Eye gave you?»

Moon nodded. « I think he won’t mind,» he said, extending his arm toward Sun, « if I lend this to a friend.»

When First Eye went to grab the book, no touch passed between them. Moon felt the slightest hint of warmth when his fingers touched the cover, but nothing more than that. It was already over before he could have the chance to enjoy it. He hid the hand under his long sleeve, touching the space where his fingers had touched the book, trying to grasp onto the feeling, the easiness that Sun displayed so freely.

« No,» First Eye told him, « I don’t think he will.»

Xion came back few seconds later. She had a small pouch in her hands that she handed rather hastily to WIndriser.

« This isn’t like—» he eyed quickly Terra before returning to her, « another one of those thing, right?» The boy asked, weighing the small bag into his hand. It wasn’t much larger than his palm and it looked quite light.

Xion laughed. « I can’t give you those _kind of things_,» she replied.

Windriser nodded, stuffing the gift into his father’s bag. Then, he untied the pouch from his side and gave it to Xion. « This is for you.»

On his side, Sun made a face at him, like he was surprised in the first place. « I think this is the first time I see you giving someone a gift. I’m impressed.»

The boy shrugged his hand off. « Shut it. It’s not from me,» he pointed a finger toward the pouch. « Namine told me to give it to you.»

Xion didn’t wait one second to open up the gift, hands basically trembling around the chord: it was a crystal ball and inside there was a small, tuft of violet flowers, its inner bud was sprayed in yellow. It was hardly any larger than her hand and Xion was staring at it like she was ready to study every single detail of it.

« It’s a stabilized crocus,» Windriser told her, « it will stays like that forever.»

Moon was sure he had never seen her daughter that content before, with her hands wrapped around the crystal and her eyes so bright and blue. « Thank you.»

The boy shrugged; Moon could spot a hint of pink sprayed on his cheeks. « Com’on, we have to go back,» and started pulling his father’s arm as to urge him away.

Moon saluted him. He hoped he could say his name, but he wouldn’t dare with Terra close. « I hope you’ll find the answer soon.»

« Yes, I—» Sun stammered, walking out of the door and down the stairs, his son still pulling him by the sleeve, eyes going to the steps and back to Moon ever so often. « I hope, too,» he laughed, almost stumbling in his own feet. Not once Moon saw Sun put the book away, still clinging to the spine of it like it was a matter of life and death. He followed him with careful gaze, all the way down to the stairs, disappearing into the stables to go fetch his stead.

He looked at him one last time, when Sun reined the chocobo onto the bottom of the stairs. He waved his arm.

Moon and Xion saluted him back.

« Was that,» Terra started asking, « First Eye?»

« Absurd,» exclaimed Xion, the same moment Moon said, « preposterous. You know Sun cannot walk this lands. Come along, Xion.»

Moonlight followed right behind.

« That is a nice gift,» Moon murmured to his daughter, once out of earshot.

« Yes,» she replied, fingers carefully caressing the surface of the crystal, as if she could will it open and touch the petals of the flower. « Yes, it is.»

Moon wondered, for the briefest instance, if that was the same gaze Sun had on his face when he found a wish on the bottom of a box.

*

« So—» Sun started saying, riding up the hill on Ophelia with his son marching close.

Roxas groaned. « By Creation themselves, please, don't start again,» he said, marching faster toward the arch of the Veil.

« I’m just saying I don’t remember the last time you lost a bet,» Lea commented.

« Maybe I let her win, what do you know?»

« Did you?»

Roxas remained in silence.

« Did you let her win?» Sun asked, leaning slightly to the side.

Windriser marched faster, almost turning his pace into a run.

« Did you? Did you?» Lea kept asking him, keeping up his pace up the hill. He was laughing and he didn’t know why himself. Maybe he was the enthusiasm, maybe was still the high of getting the answer right. Or maybe it was the box carefully placed in inside pocket of his coat – he knew no coldness could come from it and yet Sun felt lukewarm.

He let his son step through the Veil without waiting for him. But Sun looked back: looked at the distant castle that almost seemed to shine under these galaxies and its stars. And if he felt bold enough to think such a thing, he could even imagine that somewhere, maybe on the balcony of Moon’s chambers, maybe there was him, looking at the Veil and waving his arm in his direction.

Sun liked that thought.

When he stepped out of Moon’s kingdom, Sun waited for the clear sky to kiss him welcome.

Instead, he was welcomed by thundering rain.

Roxas looked miserable. « Raincatcher’s cycle.»

Ophelia let out a weak _kweh!_, as if she was responding to him with the same sad spirit.

« Oh, you’re right,» Sun said, looking up and meeting nothing but grey and dark clouds. « I forgot it was Meridiana’s turn this week.»

« You don’t say.»

« Stop being so gloomy,» Sun said, giving him a pat in the back of his head, turning his stead toward Meridiana. « I guess Sili won’t deny us accommodation,» but in the back of his mind, Sun had to come to terms with the chance of meeting Sili and maybe even quarrel once again – and hoping it wouldn’t devolve into a full fight between them.

They arrived in Meridiana as soon as possible, hiding from the rain under the portico. The city’s streets were almost empty, everyone sheltering away from the battering rain. Sun felt like he was on fire – the rain wasn’t helping at all and the coat now seemed to weigh tons. He climbed off Ophelia.

« I have no idea where Sili lives,» Sun said, shedding of his coat and making sure the box would stay safely hidden in his pocket. He rolled it in and inelegantly stuffed it inside one of those two bags that were attached to Ophelia’s saddle.

« I do,» Roxas replied, loosening the scarf around his neck and head. « I went to her house a couple of times.»

Lea made a face at him. « You went a couple of times?»

Windriser shrugged. « She’s nice,» he said, taking Ophelia’s reins and reining her in, « in general.» Sun followed him.

It didn’t take long. Apparently Sili’s house was standing on the side portico of the main plaza and no one was around to actually stop them and bowing and talking and all those other things that Sun didn’t feel indulging right in that moment. The travel to Moon’s kingdom had started to take a toll on him now that the adrenaline rush was over, feeling weighted down by tiredness and stress all the same. Roxas too didn’t look much better, even though he was trying to conceal any shred of exhaustion.

He stopped in front of a black door. « She’s here,» he said, knocking the door a few times and taking a step back.

Sun heard silence for a while, started to think that maybe she wasn’t home.

Roxas knocked once again. He stopped between the second and the third knock when a loud sound came from the other side, followed by a string of curses that would have made any Devoted blush ruby red. Another loud thud and the door burst open.

Sili was far from elegant and poised that day: she was wearing one of those comfy, long robe that Sun loved to strut in back in his palace and Asidera detested with a passion, one that a person would wear when there was much work to do at home and you want free movement. Her hair was a complete mess, a bun coming undone to the side. Sun had to admit that even in that homely state, there was beauty in that sight – even if he couldn’t comprehend it in full.

When Sili spotted Windriser first and Sun second, she straightened her back up. No reason to adjust her clothes (hardly anything to fix) or her hair (it would have been pointless anyway).

« Windriser. First Eye,» she said. Her voices sounded hoarse, as if she hadn’t been using it for a while. « This is a surprise.»

« We just came from—» Windriser tried to find the words, a way to tell a lie without it being an actual lie and hurt himself. After a moment of silence, he sighed, tired, « listen, we came from Moon’s kingdom, we forgot that today it was Raincatcher’s cycle and I’m exhausted and my father is pestering me and I cannot think of a way to lie without actually lying, just let me crash somewhere and you can take it out on my father as long as you like, please?»

Sili regarded him with a look that was completely pitiful. She moved away from the door.

« Come inside. I’m going to take the bird to the private stables so that nobody will see her.»

Roxas looked ecstatic, for a moment Sun really thought he would have hugged her out of pure happiness and relief. « Sili, you’re a saint, only good winds will come your way!» and basically raced inside.

Lea gave Sili Ophelia’s reins. « Thank you.»

« Go inside,» and with that, she slipped in first shoes she found next to the door and walked away, Ophelia right behind her.

Sili’s house was nothing but messy. Sun had a hard time walking around without the fear of knocking something over and summoning Sili’s rage on him – even though she didn’t need that much to take it out on him, she was probably already rehearsing the fight they were going to have in a few minutes.

Roxas had nestled in the only free armchair in the room, the one next to the stacks of documents – there were way too many fountain pens scattered around, one of them was still open. Sun walked up to close it. In a corner of the room there was a plant that was on the brink of death and if Sun stared at it any seconds longer he would have been able to witness his wilting. Lea hadn’t exactly been blessed with a green thumb, but he was sure he heard angelic music coming from its leaves when he emptied inside the cup of water.

« I didn’t imagine Sili’s house like…» and he waved his hand around the room, « this.»

« She’s a hard worker,» Windriser said, shedding his scarf away and dropping it onto the back of his armchair.

« And that means she can lead her own plants to the brink of death?»

« I apologize for _forgetting_ to take care of my own plants on top of running an entire city during a historic change, but sadly,» Sili said from the door, closing it behind her with a loud thud and walking into the living room, « we don’t all have a flock of Attendants in our houses.»

Roxas and Lea exchanged one brief look before bowing their head. « Sorry,» they both said.

« First your Master of Star, now you two. You think this is an inn?» Sili crossed her arms in front of her chest. « Should I start granting asylum to everyone that comes knocking at my door?» When she was met with silence – and guilty looks – once again, she pointed at room behind her. « Go change into dry clothes. I have robes in my wardrobe.»

They both nodded and marched toward the other room in silence.

Indeed, Sili had other robes – the catch was that nearly everyone barely covered up Sun. Sili was a small girl, way small than him. And while her clothes fitted Roxas, Sun had to resort in taking one of her bed sheets and wrapping it around himself for the time being.

« See, next time you should just be like me,» Roxas commented, shrugging.

« I mean, yes, I guess being the size of an ant has its perks.»

And aside from the tricks Roxas kept playing against him as retaliation, the rest of the day went good. Sun had to eat while sitting on a couple of boxes, but there was no actual fight. Nor Sili asked any questions about his quest or the whole travel. The conversation was kept light-hearted, mostly unfocused. Windriser got unresponsive after a while and eventually fell asleep on the armchair while Sun and Sili were still chatting about Elrena’s studies.

« Take him to my bed,» Sili said, taking a pen from the group, the one that Sun had closed just earlier. « I don’t think I will sleep anyway.»

« You shouldn’t stay up all night,» Lea replied, « it’s damaging.»

« It’s the insomnia, First Eye,» she sighed, turning a page to read the backside, « if I sleep two hours a day is a Creation-sent miracle. Bring Windriser to my room. Let him rest.»

Sun complied. When he took him up in his arm, he barely made a sound.

He remembered another time when he took his son into his arms - so incredibly tiny and frail and bundled up in a cape, invisible to the eye and yet warm into his arms. Someone had brought him to the shore and Sun was there waiting for him, arms already open as if that event was the single reason why he had fingers to caress and palms to cup cheeks and a voice to soothe. He wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.

He put him to bed and closed the door behind him.

« Asidera refused to come with you, First Eye?» Sili asked as soon as he was back into the living room. She had her cup of tea in one hand and the pen in the other, eyes still going over the document.

Sun sat down on the armchair. He should’ve expected that question – or any other question regarding Moon’s matter. She was just waiting the right moment to ask. « Yes,» he sighed. « Are you happy with it?»

« Why should I? I don’t care.»

Sun laughed. He took a couple of papers in his hands and started reading a couple of lines. « You have many requests.»

The Ray sighed but it came out almost as a groan. « At least twenty every single day. This one,» she said, while showing off the paper she now was reviewing, « it’s from two weeks ago. And they grow and grow and grow,» and she looked around her living room, to the cushions almost invisible in the mess, to the stacks of documents that looked like a white sea. « Can you now guess why I don’t have guests over?»

« Let me help you,» Sun said, « I read and tell you what’s the content. It’s faster this way.»

Sili scoffed. « I have to know details, First Eye,» she shot him a look, « and we both now you’re not that good with details.» There was no malice in that comment, but Sun felt like Sili was forgetting something.

« You run a province, Sili,» he said, taking a pen from the stack, « I run an empire. Or at least, I try, as one might debate,» and with that, he nestled into the armchair and started reading.

So they worked. Sun would tell her the content of a paper and Sili would then decide if there was something that she could actually do – sometimes, she would even ask for advice, causing Sun to bulge his eyes out the first time. At some point, his eyes would start to cross between paragraphs, needing to pace around the room to regain focus. But at least, work was done. And the more papers were signed, the more Sili seemed lighter and liked to joke around without really teasing.

Sun found out that thing could have been like that between them. But Sili was the way she was and Sun wasn’t built on the same wavelength – they just found each other halfway, but they knew it was just a crossroad.

It stopped raining hours later, when Sun was working his way through a document about the instalment of a new leisure centre in the outskirt of the city.

Sili had miraculously fallen asleep.

*

« Thank you for what you’ve done,» Lea told her on the door, slinging his bag onto his shoulder. His clothes were still damp at the edges but it was way better than the poor state they were in just few hours before. Roxas still looked like his head was still on the pillow, blinking tiredly at Sili.

« I should be the one to thank _you_, First Eye,» she said, « you helped me greatly with the requests. Have a safe journey back home. The stables are next to the Building of the Rays. You can’t miss it,» and passed him the key – a tiny, golden thing that had started to rust at the edges.

Lea nodded and walked out. Windriser bid something that could resemble a goodbye or a groan from the dead, Sun couldn’t be sure.

They rode back home under the careful eye of Meridiana.

There was a question inside Sun’s bag that needed an answer. And he had no idea how to find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "townie" // mitski
> 
> a big, gigantic, gargantuan THANK YOU to anyone who's still riding along; who is sharing the fic around and leaves me feedback and just stay in touch with me. your support means the world to me and i hope to keep up the good work for all of you! thank you so much!!


	23. have you read this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: im gonna do SUCH a good job on the format of this one you won't believe like it's gonna be so good  
editor html: fuck you 
> 
> apologies it should've been prettier than this. but it's not because i've fought with html for half an hour and now im tired and it's also a fairly short chapter, life is a bit hectic but most importantly, happy first birthday, moonstruck sun: you're a hell of a project to me.

Any day under Sun’s light is a good day, but this one specifically feels like it’s going to be particularly beautiful. The light is soft and warm on the skin and the breeze coming from the ocean promises adventure and unknown lands. Everything that is to be discovered is over that vast horizon, to the wind that promises unfurling wide sails and to the waves that swears kindness.

But Tao Sy has no time for any of that. His adventure is in the press, in the smell of the paper and the stains of black ink; in the constant noise of the presses going, of the levers pulled down and the loud _thunk_ that filled the air. Every adventure that Tao Sy is waiting for is just behind the door of the building, outside in the streets where people would buy his words and the stories he wanted to tell.

He throws away the cigarillo in the nearest bucket and jerks his head to the side to puff out the smoke. He takes the first folio that came out from the press, giving a pat to the man before walking away with the paper in hand.

####  ** __**

**_ Back and forth into the night: is this our new normal?_ **

####  ****

** Sun left for the Veil again with Windriser. The Master of Star left to their devices.**

__

_“At the end of this day, nothing will ever be the same.”_

_Yet, we couldn’t imagine things would have started to change so fast._

_First Eye has left for Moon’s kingdom once again. It’s the second time this month and it seems like it won’t come to an end any time soon. No entourage followed him and what was more incredible to see (or not to see) was the absence of his Master of Star as a travelling companion. In their stead went the reckless youth, First Eye’s Designated Son, and although we know how incredibly skilful and wise Windriser is for us all, our eyes have been trained to stay fixed and steady on our First Eye and questions are starting to bubble in. Is there some friction in the court? Is the crown becoming too heavy on our King’s head?_

__

__

_[follow up]_

Tao Sy knows that one is going to be a good day. _The Sight_ prides itself to be the main source of news from the court, having eye and ears everywhere up the walls – he is just giving the people the chance to see for themselves what is happening. Not that Tao Sy didn’t trust the crown; but he so wanted to be in the room where everything happens.

*

It’s a rumour thrown in the streets, it’s voices passed along the alley from a woman to another while pulling the laundry chord. It’s the folio sliding along, the paper stained with flour and coffee and other spices that a foreigner wouldn’t recognize.

« Have you read this?» The folio slips into the other woman’s fingers. 

The other scoffs. « I don’t even need to read it, I’ve seen them yesterday running along. This one will be the death of us.»

« I find it endearing! Do you think we will see Him again?» 

« That _freak_?! I hope not, I had to take out a shawl to feel warm. Trust me: that one is trouble.»

It’s the folio slipping up from careless fingers and caught by a breeze that will bring it far away – just around the corner, in another man’s hands who will read it almost distractively while taking care of excited children. It’s a small smile, it’s another conversation with the young man sitting next to him – lighter and promising, not at all the one exchanged between people from another generation, another point of view.

« You think something will happen? Something bad?» The young man asked, turning the page around to read the rest of the article.

« I think whatever will happen, it’ll be new. And how can it be bad? Your father’s flowers this year had never been more beautiful, they almost glow. We will see.»

The folio is forgotten onto the bench, ready for another hand to grab it and for another pair of eyes to discuss its content. It travels far and wide from the hands of a baker, a painter, a bricklayer – all different opinions, all their gaze turned toward a castle that, for the very first time, somehow is holding back something from everyone. People exchange opinions and they wonder what is the next step, what is the next big change that might come for them. It’s rumours, it’s voices exchanged between alleys and streets, it’s ushered whispers between lovers, the small talk before the heat.

First Eye is the talk of the capital, it’s the news that travel far and wide (it’s Sili reading the folio with a hand pressed on her forehead as to quiet down the migraine that is starting to bloom). It’s the voice that Windriser catches mid jump, landing on a terrace in bloom.

They call him the golden son: he wears no jewel for his hair is the colour of molten gold and when he laughs, the treetops shake and the grass field sings. He likes the company, but he likes it more when kids start racing him down the streets and try to keep up with him: parents know that until they are with him, they’re safe and sound.

But this time the golden son doesn’t stop to say hi nor he tries to steal one of the pastries that the most famous baker in town has strategically placed on the windowsill: this time, Roxas goes straight to the castle and more precisely, to the inner gardens.

[ Roxas, Kairi and Namine acts like three nobles who have much times between their hands and the only thing they’re actually interested in is calmly walking around the path, arms interlocked around each other and gulping down every rumour they get to find, passing papers between them and leaning their heads close as if sharing secrets unknown.

« _“Master of Star Asidera seems quiet in these days: nobody has seen them for the last week among the side streets they so love to roam_.” I cannot imagine Asidera lovingly roam the streets with whatever they have in mind this moment,_» _Roxas recites with folio in hand before Kairi snags the paper away from his fingers.

_« “The Council has been called three times only this week and rumours has it that some renovations are underway in some part of our city. The Master of Steel is working close with the Chief Architect on this and they’ve already answered some of the citizens’ most pressing questions.”_ Can you imagine Elrena answering some questions from the citizen?» the redhead gardener asks, smile sharp as a knife and twice as charming.

« Yes, those,» and she laughs while saying it in perfect harmony with the other two fae, « _“daft buffoons ruled by Chief Jester”_». The gardener steals the paper away from her sister, their steps in perfect synch with one another while they walk down the stone steps toward the sunflowers’ fields. « _“What’s left to question is the ability of our beloved First Eye to continue his work with righteous spirit and firm focus, for he has a lot of trials ahead of him.”_»

« Don’t they know,» Roxas chuckles, peeking at the paper once again to the small, right corner of the page. « Hey, what do they say about me?»

Kairi groans. « What could they possibly say about you?»

« _Beloved_ and precious golden son?» Namine jokes back, releasing her arm from under his grip so that she can run a hand through his hair before he shakes her hand off.

« Precious and _dearest_ golden son?» Kairi teases restlessly and this time is Windriser the one to groan.

« Give me a break, the both of you.»]

But Asidera is restless. They hadn’t been able to wander, as the news rightfully noticed, for quite some time. Right now, they’re buried under every kind of paperworks – each single document a weight on their foggy mind. Asidera reads the folios, every kind that the Attendants have brought them at the start of that same morning, and with every word they wonder how long this will last, if they too will change with the passing of time, if it will happen in a week or in a month?

They speak with the rest of the Circle, they organise their days and their tasks and everyday Sun’s mind is drifting further away, like a ship pulled into open sea. Asidera tries to keep his course, to keep the crown upright. But Lea is jumping, is dancing around matters, is reckless and naïve and Asidera dreads the day it’ll finally topple over and they will all see First Eye for what he is: a volatile entity with jewels on his arms and a golden rope around his neck.

But for the time being, Asidera bides their time. They’re willing to wait for as long as they are able to and when they time will come, Asidera will be there to support their First Eye.

*

In a small atelier, surrounded by colourful drapes and with sunlight peering in through the glass doors, there are four women and three men sat at the round table. They’re sharing pastries and pleasantries, small talk and a quick laugh. They’re easily the wealthiest citizens in the city of Mura and the golden tattoos around their long neck makes a stark contrast against the ebony of theirs skin: nothing less that deities gossiping at the table while outside the world spins on and on with its mundanity.

« I heard the most saccharine thing ever yesterday,» says the woman with the long black hair, biting into her piece of chocolate. The three men lean in close as to listen more intently and there’s one woman who tries her best not to seem interested, but her ears are attuned to the gossips and she’s ever attentive. « About our First Eye.»

The man puts down the cup with too much of a force, a groan escaping his lips. « Is there ever a day in which something doesn’t concern our First Eye?»

« Yes, but this is different,» she says, relaxing against the back of her armchair, « apparently he has found a _lover_.»

The room suddenly quiets down except for a soft gasp coming from the woman who so desperately tried not to look that interested in the recent gossip.

« I sure hope they’re not from Muwa,» the younger man says and what follows is a series of quick, booming words that hardly could have been misinterpreted as compliments or praise. They all giggle around him and then the attention is all again returned to the woman.

« Further away from here.»

The young woman with piercing green eyes tries her shot. « Agne?»

The woman chuckles. « Even further. Think about where Sun is going ever so often these past weeks.»

They all stay in silence for a long while before the young man chimes in again. « No!»

The woman turns toward him abruptly. « Yes!» And she goes to pick another piece of chocolate, calculating well enough which one is the biggest piece. « I believe he has found someone in Moon’s kingdom. That is why now is so eager to go back and forth. Also, have you not noticed? He doesn’t exactly go chaperoned.»

« A lover in Moon’s kingdom?» The young woman laughs and claps her hands together, excited as a kid on the first harvest. « I wonder how are they.»

« I read they’re as beautiful as the first man who walked this earth,» the woman says back.

« I wonder what they do together, they’re so different.»

The man giggles while sipping on his own drink. « Well, for sure he keeps their bed warm. In every possible sense.» And they all laugh and clink their glasses together and they’re happy in their gossip and rumours.

[ Sun as well reads the gossiping folio, printed on a yellowish paper and the letters are big as to shout its content to the first person that passes by. 

_ ****_

  
**A flame in the night?**

_   
****   
_

**First Eye spotted leaving for Moon’s kingdom once again. Did he finally find a lover?**  


__  


_Our First Eye seemed very eager to leave his castle these past few days maybe to relieve the weight of the crown on his head. He travels all the way through the provinces to reach Moon’s kingdom and return the same day - and we all have seen the way his freckles sparkle when he returns. It seems so bizarre to take up a lover in a reign so far away from us, but maybe our Sun has seen something in those people that we don’t? His Master of Star doesn’t seem too eager to answer any question coming from us, maybe they do not approve of this rather curious choice? And perhaps that is the reason they’re never seen riding with Sun to the Veil. Is their tight relationship showing some cracks?_

__

_[more inside]_

Were his freckles truly that bright as they liked to say? He shouldn’t listen to stories like these ones and Sun knows better, but he can’t help but wonder if people truly had noticed a change in his behaviour – if his eyes sparkled like they said, if he looked happier and more willing to smile now. Wasn’t he smiling enough already?

He puts away the folio but when he does, only books and documents are awaiting for him – the search for Moon’s heart continues on and at the same time, he has still a kingdom to run who is ignorant of what truly lies ahead of him. He knows the answer is close, somewhere, but doesn’t know where to begin to search to.

Two weeks and a half have already passed. Moon is still waiting for an answer.

_Where did you hide your heart, Silver Light? ]_

*

« Kora, can’t you just tell us?» His mother has been begging to have some news for a while now, but nor Kora nor Leni knows what to say. They’re helping her packing for the afternoon market, wrapping a couple of boxes in papers (Kora spots a folio three days older a title that recites “First Eye is leaving again. Master of Star not rea—“ before ending in nothing, the page ripped before the end of the word).

« Mom, I really don’t know what to tell you,» Kora starts to say, moving away so that Leni can put the box on top.

« We genuinely don’t know what’s happening inside the court as well.»

And that is the whole truth for Leni and Kora, siblings who knew the way of the court because Asidera taught them as such. Kept them close for as long as they could, teaching them everything they needed before they passed along to Sun – but now everything feels hazy and strange to them and somehow, the siblings feel like Asidera is in foreign lands as well. They talk sometimes but they do not speak of whatever is happening around Sun or why his travels to Moon has suddenly spiked in the last three weeks.

“Go see your family. Sun will be back in three days,” Asidera has told them but Kora has seen the lines under their eyes, the sadness that recently has started to fill up their voice more often.

« You think we should be worried?» Kora asks Leni when they’re alone, tending their father’s garden on the terrace.

Leni sighs. « Asidera tolds us not to. I’m sure they know what’s happening, even though they don’t tell us straight away.» And her eyes go to the sunflowers that Sun gifted them so long ago.

They are still as beautiful and fresh as the very first day he gave them away. And their crowns are all pointed toward the horizon, there where the Veil lies.

*

Lauriam’s place is to be found with an intent in mind. It is not sought, nor it is signed on any map, but if you got a question for him or a request that you can pay back with an ounce of entertainment, Lauriam’s house will welcome you with its smell of flowers and a tea which never gets cold, no matter how long it remained outside.

But today, Lauriam’s fingers wraps around a paper that somehow has found its way across the street and the alleys and the walls, just in time for Lauriam to sit at its place in front of the window, his feet ready on the pedal of his spinning wheel. The ink is printed on a white page and everything else disinterests him aside from one single title, the one that takes the whole page: there is one big painting across the columns and it’s a profile of First Eye. He seems caught mid movement almost, with his hair ruffled because of the travel and slightly dark circles under his eyes. His eyes are set forward but it seems like the painter infused a sort of anger to his usual green.

Lauriam knows better: that is disappointment.

The article hints to a possible refusal from a lover from Moon’s kingdom, but Lauriam is interested in nothing of that. The look on Sun’s eyes is enough for him to know what is the actual truth – and there’s no one who can actually ask him what is the truth.

He keeps on working. On the fabric, there is a thread out of place and it’s exactly where it should be.

*

Windriser is intent to bend a piece of paper on the roof of the castle when he sees the ship docking. There’s a captain with eyes as blue as the ocean and he hold his partner’s hand close when they go down to greet the Master of Trade – Roxas can see the tuft of silver hair shining against the sunlight and he doesn’t need to see to know that both of them are smiling and exchanging pleasantries about the good weather. The air is crispier today and the sea looks a little bluer that usual.

He folds and folds and sometimes he giggles at the slightest breeze that runs through his air. It’s an article from the same day – this time it’s printed on a type of paper that looks old and well aged. There’s talk of the first harvest festival next week, there’s the rumour of a big road ready to be built in the next months, one that lead straight from the Veil to the castle, making the journey less taxing and more straightforward, as the Chief Architect liked to brag about in the article. The article is impossible to read now, folded so neatly as to form a wing.

Roxas works relentlessly for half an hour, making sure that the papers are alright to travel – he knows that, no matter how faulty they could be, the wind will be kind to them. When it’s done, one paper bird looks slightly smaller than the other and one has a sort of crooked head. Not his proudest work, but it’s adequate to fly.

He brings the both of them close and writes a couple of words. It’s strange to write in his own language and it’s something that doesn’t come easy to Roxas, so used now, after millennia, to speak the human language (and likes to keep it that way in any case).

So he writes just a couple of lines.

__

_ Everything is well._

__

_\- W._

When he’s done, Windriser brings both of the paper close to the mouth before blowing them away – paper birds who tumble forward and stilt and have just learned to fly.

« You know who to bring them to.»

And the wind does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to Nicole and Yuff: un anno completo di "no, scusate nn h kpt" 
> 
> title from "the reynolds pamphlet" // hamilton


End file.
